Another confused IN.....please assist.

[Sula]

Hello all! I recently joined this forum and have found it to be quite interesting. I'm happy to be amongst other self obsessed folks, or self analytically inclined rather.

Obviously, I'm a bit confused about my "type" and would appreciate some help. It's been bugging so much these past few weeks, I feel like I need to be completely certain which particular type is my best fit. Life or death?No. But need to know, yes.

Here's some snippets that I think would be helpful. I'm really going to try to be concise and not type an essay! (this will be hard to fight my rambles)

I've always been introverted and shy, and loved being alone. As a child, my mother thought that maybe I had trouble seeing, because I would just stare intensly at people and things. I wasn't a very friendly child, but very sweet, wanting everyone to be happy, always trying to help. I was a very conscientious student and would feel devastated if I ever got into trouble or performed poorly. I was a perfectionist early on, but a MAJOR procrastinator...a habit I'm still trying to quit!

I remember being very sensitive and uncomfortable around strangers (even extended family...so many relatives thought I didn't like them), but would be relaxed, playful and a bit moody with my family. Very imaginative and loved to read...esp. picture books, fairytales, and oddly encyclopedias. Playing with my siblings, drawing, and living in a fantasy world were my leisure activities.

I always had a close circle of 2-3 friends. My role was frequently the link. The one who the others complained to. I've been in several triangulated friendships where my affections were fought over, or I had to choose allegiance. This still confuses me. All I wanted was for everyone to get along. I detest drama, but tend to attract dramatic people who eventually drain me.

(Bear with me..this is so much longer than I intended , now it's time to condense majorly)

College years, to sum, changed my major a few times (from Psychology, to Studio Art, to Religion) and finally graduated with English Literature after returning from taking time off. In between this period, I went through many changes in my life, experienced some extreme lows as well as highs (not literal..at least not always). I refer to this period as either my Dark Days, or my Bohemian Days.

Got introduced to Myers Briggs during this time. I usually got INFP. I'd like add that I was in another triangulated relationship with my best friend and her girlfriend, and definitely overly identified with them. I felt like I needed to be less of a prude, stiff, and needed to lighten up, live more in the moment. During this time, I was very unsure of myself and my identity, and felt a need to conform to the social scene I was a part of. I no longer associate with 99% of the people from this period.

Recently I've been testing more as INFJ or ISFJ. I also feel more accepting of myself and feel less of a need to be a certain way. I love time to myself, nature, music, movies, reading, writing. I think constantly about my future and feel like theres so much in the material and spiritual I'd like to accomplish.

There's so much more I want to type, but this is obnoxiously long enough. Thank you for anyone who read this. I don't have a complete grasp on the different functions, yet btw....but I'm positive that I'm not and E or S. I enjoy planning, but making life major decisions can stress me out. I often need to triple analyze to make sure I'm doing the right thing for my future. Pro and cons list are my friends. I can be a worrywort, and be b*tchy at times, but really only if I feel overwhelmed or haven't had sufficient time to myself. My dreams inform me frequently. I often think "whats the point of this story" if someone is rambling, though I ramble myself at times.

While I definitely feel that the human experience is entirely too large to be confined to a strict system, I do find this whole thing to be a helpful tool.

 

[skylights]

hi, welcome!

and no worries, you broke the post up enough that it wasn't too long

you sound like an INFJ to me, overall, but i think the only way to really be confident is to understand the functions. maybe if it's helpful i'll just outline introverted Feeling (Fi) and extraverted iNtuition (Ne) - INFP - and introverted iNtuition (Ni) and extraverted Feeling (Fe) - INFJ - for you. certain things you've said make me think Ni Fe, this especially:

As a child, my mother thought that maybe I had trouble seeing, because I would just stare intensly at people and things. [...] I think constantly about my future and feel like theres so much in the material and spiritual I'd like to accomplish.

INFP:

• Fi - personal beliefs and being in touch with inner emotions. connecting with others on the basis of personal understanding. strong core values. vibe is typically accepting but not always actively warm and inviting. likes to introspect on identity a lot.
• Ne - constant flow of information and ideas, seeing connection in everything. goes for breadth of information over depth. spiritual feeling of unity. envisioning many possibilities, picking up on patterns, relates everything to everything else. thinks "outside the box."

INFP also has the tendency to rely on personal experience to relate and understand.

INFJ:

• Ni - internal understandings and recognitions, introspection on how you want things to be or how you see things turning out, good at following patterns and predicting future outcomes, spiritual depth and concentration. thinks outside the box in the sense that it looks at "the box" in a new way.
• Fe - external relations and understanding external feelings. being able to read other people and see what they need, caring for others and creating external harmony. vibe is actively warm, but remains more "at a distance" (especially in introverted types) than Fi, which opens up very quickly. likes to observe people patterns.

INFJ also has the tendency to be strong in their internal logic and understanding of systems.

i'm a fan of this site - Understanding the Eight Jungian Cognitive Processes / Eight Functions Attitudes - for stuff about functions, if you want to read more!

 

[Sula]

Thanks for the insights skylights!

After checking out that link, Fe definitely jumped out at me with a "hey, you do that". I definitely do not open up quickly and observing and analyzing people is a favorite pastime. Fi I understand, but don't connect with as much as the other.

Now Ne/Ni is a bit unclear.

Ne, yes, but this " Using this process, we can juggle many different ideas, thoughts, beliefs, and meanings in our mind at once with the possibility that they are all true" bugs me. Ambiguity can make me unsettled. I can have several different conflicted thoughts/opinions, but eventually I like them to be sifted and separated if that makes sense. Makes me breathe easier lol, even if I'm not 100% sure of the verdict.

Ni, yes. Oprah never made more sense than when she spoke of having "Aha!" moments, though I prefer "Jinkies!".

Thanks again. Let me do some more research on functions while I procrastinate from doing work .

 

[skylights]

sounds good. i'm thinking INFJ fo sho, but keep us updated if you realize otherwise!

 

[pseudoku]

Early on, at least, you sound like a definite INFP. Usually people tend to become more "J" as they grow up, so I think age is something important to account in typing.

 

[Sula]

Early on, at least, you sound like a definite INFP. Usually people tend to become more "J" as they grow up, so I think age is something important to account in typing.

I agree with you. I think as I've matured I've tried to become more structured, organized, and together...though I don't know if that correlates to "J"ness or just plain ole' maturity.