Confusion about being an INFJ or ENFJ

[InTheFlesh]

I'm having a lot of confusion with this whole introvert/extrovert thing. I've taken multiple different MBTI tests, all of which said I was an INFJ, but upon reading the ENFJ character traits I discovered I tend to lean towards that typing more than INFJ. But, I'm very confused because I'm fairly sure I'm not an extrovert, I tend to stay home by myself for long periods of time, I absolutely hate being in big groups of people, I only have 2 or 3 people who I consider close friends, and I find myself being exhausted after being with people for an extended amount of time.

That last part really confuses me, is it an introvert or extrovert thing to be with people all day and then become really tired when you get home?

I'm sorry, I know that was really jumbled, but I'd greatly appreciate any help.

EDIT:It's very possible that I may be over-reacting and getting confused and worried about nothing, I have a tendency to do that

 

[Tiltyred]

You're tired when you get home because you've been with people all day. I/E means where do you get your energy, from being with people, or from being away from people? I gets tired from being with people, E gets energy from being with people.

What, besides that, makes you think you're an ENFJ rather than an INFJ?

 

[InTheFlesh]

Well, I go out of my way to help people, I'm not afraid of confrontation, I tend to hide who I really am and what I really think (could be used as an argument for the opposite side as well), I easily express my appreciation for others, I hold others feelings on the same ground as my own and I tend to conform to what other people want me to be.

But now that I read these over, I see that many of them could go either way

 

[CuriousFeeling]

Well, I go out of my way to help people, I'm not afraid of confrontation, I tend to hide who I really am and what I really think (could be used as an argument for the opposite side as well), I easily express my appreciation for others, I hold others feelings on the same ground as my own and I tend to conform to what other people want me to be.

But now that I read these over, I see that many of them could go either way

Could be INFJ with a higher use of your auxiliary extroverted feeling. INFJs can be sociable with others, and helpful. Just we have a threshold to how much we do this. When the Fe reserve runs out, we regain this by spending time on our own for a bit.

When you said that you feel exhausted after spending an extended period of time with others, this indicates introversion. Introversion, by definition, means that you lose/use energy from social interaction and gain/receive energy from spending time alone.

As a teenager, I seemed like an ENFJ cos I was pretty sociable. Just I needed my "me time", and valued my privacy a ton.

I think you're an INFJ, though.

 

[skylights]

have you thought about how you use Ni and Fe? that might help you decide.

i'm learning more and more that extraversion is not so much about how social you are or gaining/losing energy around people, and it's more about where your... primary focus, perhaps, is. especially with xNFJ/xNFP, i don't think the conventional typings for E-I work -- we must have a good chunk of down time and alone time regardless of whether we are E or I. i thought i was INFP for years until everyone here typed me otherwise and i did a lot of research.

i think the main difference i see is that ENFJs focus on people and use ideas in dealing with people, relationships which are dealt with externally not that ENFJs are always totally open, or even warm - actually generally they're more reserved, as far as the ones i know - but ENFJs have this incredible ability to just be able to get people to do things, and to get those people to believe in what they're doing. i also know a couple ENFJs whose Extraverted Sensing skills blow me away - they're always observing people and people-patterns.

INFJs are certainly good with people too, but they focus on ideas and gather people around ideas, and focus on ideas about people. and those ideas are typically generated mainly internally. both types are very sympathetic, but INFJ seems to be less judge-y in terms of moral standpoint. though both types hold fast when they think they're right, lol. INFJ also has tert Ti and can be very precise and have very tight communication skills.

ENFJ also seems a bit better at multitasking, while INFJ seems a bit better at working diligently. both hold back and are not always super social, and both can be very inspirational and are wonderful people to talk to when you're feeling upset or unsure. <3

disclaimer -- this is a combination of theory, and patterns from people i know

 

[Mondo]

If you absolutely hate being in big groups of people, you're an I and not an E.
Many of the traits which you think might make you an Extravert are more so Fe traits.

 

[Gloriana]

I was confused about the extroversion -vs- introversion thing myself. Then a friend showed me one of the most helpful illustrations in an MBTI book that I've ever seen.

It was a drawing of the difference between an extrovert and introvert. Each person had a electrical cord coming out of their backs with a plug at the end to depict where they had to 'plug-in' to recharge their energy resources.

The extrovert was depicted as being plugged into the world around him. Meaning, the extrovert recharges and gets their energy from the world and people around him/her.

The introvert was depicted as being plugged into himself. Meaning, the introvert recharges and gets their energy from within himself/herself.

This made absolutely perfect sense to me personally. I also think people confuse the word 'introvert' with 'shy' way too much when they're not the same thing. I am not a shy person either. I don't like big parties and social events ALL the time, but when I do go I can talk to anyone and I speak my mind. I'm not afraid of confrontation if it's an issue pertaining to my principles or important beliefs. I've performed on stage for many years. Not 'shy' at all.

I am introverted though. I have a massive inner world going on, and when I need to recharge that means I need my alone time. I do not function well when I don't have alone time to ponder and reflect. I do not gain the majority of my energy through the world and people around me.

In short, extroverts can be shy and introverts can be outgoing, etc.

 

[Glycerine]

If you absolutely hate being in big groups of people, you're an I and not an E.
Many of the traits which you think might make you an Extravert are more so Fe traits.

Not exactly. That's not the best way of distinguishing E and I. I have seen several ENFJs online say that they hate being in big groups. For me, in particular, if I have to focus on many people and there are too many external stimuli, I start to freak out. However, I do get energized by being around people in moderation.