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THE EPIC BATTLE OF E VERSUS I (nfp)

skylights

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okay guys.

so i've taken variations of the mbti about 30 times (i'm a psych major, lots of those were required, lol), and i come out about 50-50 xNFP. i'm totally down with the NFP, but the E-I is bugging me.

the thing is, i always thought i was an I. i don't really like initiating social contact (but i do enjoy social contact), and i need my alone time (but i do go batty if it's more than a day and i haven't interacted with others.) i did the type-checker in the stickies, and i come out as an I for sure - more of a behind the scenes person than a cheerleader, though i am a really great one-on-one motivator. (I IS PULLING AHEAD)

the thing is, there are a lot of qualities which have been attributed to INFP that i don't have. for example, i have done much study into ethics and have certain values, but i don't have certain particular very strong causes, or a defined line in right vs wrong. i don't like sad things, or find a specialness in being sad beyond like 10 minutes of moping and a good excuse for ben and jerrys, and i've never really felt more than averagely misunderstood, isolated, broken, or defective. i'm comfortable in crowds and like being the center of attention. i'm also an adrenaline junkie. (BUT E IS SLIPPING UP FROM BEHIND)

first possibility, is, of course, that these attributions are off. (THEY ARE NECK-AND-NECK)

otherwise...
maybe i am infp, and just very individual? (how infp of me)
maybe i am enfp, and on the shy end of the bell curve?
maybe i am xnfp, and should shut up and go to sleep?

(THE BATTLE RAGES)
well, i should shut up and go to sleep.

thank you for your halp :]]] <3
 
Last edited:

Thalassa

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You're probably an ENFP.

I'm very borderline E/I, too, and it makes it even more confusing for me that I'm an Enneagram 4, which probably gives me more INFP-seeming traits that you seem to lack (you mention not being especially sad, never feeling more than averagely misunderstood, etc.).
 

InsatiableCuriosity

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Hi Skylights ;)

sounds more like you are an XNFP with a slight preference to E - but you don't have to shut up and go to sleep. :D

As an XNTP I understand exactly where you are coming from and am delighted that I can bring in either E or I as a natural effect dependent on the situation. I disagree with the pigeon-holing people tend to try when tested. There are degrees of Preference and we are so much more than a straight 1/16 dichotomy.

Having said that, I find type watching and administering the MBTI to those who are uncertain and not confident of their own talents a great way of pointing them in the direction of their own uniqueness rather than be unhappy trying to be/fit like everyone else.
 

Eckhart

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It sounds to me a bit more like ENFP too. Some things in your description just sound more ENFP than INFP to me, but on the other hand I don't really see something which would really speak AGAINST ENFP. ENFPs, from what I hear, tend to behave more introverted than the other E-types.

After all it is only a matter of what behaviour you show in a prefered way. Everyone can do everything the other types can do too, but they won't prefer doing so. So when you take your alone time, that doesn't mean that you are an I. When you say it makes you crazy to be alone more than a day than that sounds more E than I to me (although even I's don't necessarily want to be lonely forever).

And your unsureness about your values... that can in my opinion fit to both types. I as an INFP felt similarily about it when I started to get used to that MBTI stuff. The thing is, those values were so natural for me that it was something subconscious to me, I didn't have to think much about it and I wouldn't know instantly how to verbalize them. But I know they are there, and when I am in a situation where they are needed, I can find them. Like when you first had to learn to ride a bike and now you just do it without thinking about it, and then someone asks you how to ride a bike. Then you cannot really explain it either, you "just do it". (Sorry, I had to think now about a fitting example for some time and I didn't find anything better). Maybe it is similar to you?

Being comfortable in crowds and like to be center of attention sounds more ENFP than INFP, but well, it doesn't have to mean it I think. There are also INFPs which stand on the stage.
 

skylights

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thanks guys! i appreciate your ideas a lot. i think that i was thinking that since your i/e determines how your other preferences are ordered, i had to fall on the side of one or another. but i suppose in truth there's no reason why my nfp orientations can't be ambiguous too. eeeeenteresting. :]

oh and marmalade - good point!! i'm an enneagram 7w6, so that might account for some of this.
 

Thalassa

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thanks guys! i appreciate your ideas a lot. i think that i was thinking that since your i/e determines how your other preferences are ordered, i had to fall on the side of one or another. but i suppose in truth there's no reason why my nfp orientations can't be ambiguous too. eeeeenteresting. :]

oh and marmalade - good point!! i'm an enneagram 7w6, so that might account for some of this.

You're a 7? Oh honey, you're an ENFP. ;)
 

sculpting

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dude, you are such an enfp. But you make me smile! Your post is almost as hyper-ish and adorable as my first post.
 

Stanton Moore

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sooo. you thought you were an I, but not an infp.

infp=loser, and you're not a loser, right?
 

Thalassa

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sooo. you thought you were an I, but not an infp.

infp=loser, and you're not a loser, right?

:wacko: I don't think that's what OP meant.

Shit like this is why people don't want to be INFPs....
 

Stanton Moore

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:wacko: I don't think that's what OP meant.

Shit like this is why people don't want to be INFPs....

that's not what I meant. the only reason she would say that she's not an infp, despite thinking that she was an I and and NFP, was because of negative stereotypes, just like the ones listed in the OP:

there are a lot of qualities which have been attributed to INFP that i don't have. for example, i have done much study into ethics and have certain values, but i don't have certain particular very strong causes, or a defined line in right vs wrong. i don't like sad things, or find a specialness in being sad beyond like 10 minutes of moping and a good excuse for ben and jerrys, and i've never really felt more than averagely misunderstood, isolated, broken, or defective.

If this is how infp's are viewed by the world, I wouldn't want to be one either...
 

skylights

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Orobas said:
dude, you are such an enfp. But you make me smile! Your post is almost as hyper-ish and adorable as my first post.

hahahah :]

yeahh it was kinda hyper, wasn't it
 

skylights

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sooo. you thought you were an I, but not an infp.

infp=loser, and you're not a loser, right?

hm. i think it's shrewd of you to insinuate that perhaps this is more an issue of me wanting to be an enfp and really being an infp. my mention of certain qualities which could be perceived as negative was not meant to be an affront to infp, and i apologize if i offended you. though i am also curious as to the origin of your association between infp and loser, which to me seems like a more negative stereotype than anything i listed...?

(the ben and jerry's namedrop was meant to describe my habits alone, by the way, not infp. i like chocolate when i'm upset, it's lighthearted medicine. like harry potter!)

that's not what I meant. the only reason she would say that she's not an infp, despite thinking that she was an I and and NFP, was because of negative stereotypes,

ok, but that's just it. i did identify as infp as a long time, because that's how i tested, but some things just don't match up. i don't think i'm as dedicated or self-defined as the general infp. i also get hyped up around people, and i like consistent interaction. but i also need alone time to recuperate from my energy output, and i can get overstimulated, especially if i'm tired or in charge of large groups.

i don't like sad things, or find a specialness in being sad beyond like 10 minutes of moping

ah, well, i'm trying to distinguish between my "moping", which is really that, me whining and being negative, versus the infp immersion. i enjoy sad songs sometimes, but i always feel the need to move on quickly. it's not a place where i can stay, and the infps that i know can. they're good at taking that emotion and understanding it and expressing it through art. i'm good at tapping into it - if i'm playing sad music, for example - but it's very rarely that i express sadness of my own through art or music, even though i do both. plus i know the tried and true way of cheering myself up is to be around a group of people, or my bff.

misunderstood, isolated, broken, or defective

these are the words of infp friends of mine. i think they're very much about individualism and a feeling of being fundamentally different. i also think many people would agree that all humans share a feeling of incompleteness, hence our search for god/progress/information... not meant to be insults to infp. i think my own "sins", perhaps, would be unattached, disloyal, indecisive, inability to commit (though not in relationships, which beats me). and that sounds more enfp to me.

so again, i'm sorry if i've offended you, and i'll be more attentive to my wording of qualities in the future. but i'm really just trying to figure out if i'm an introverted enfp, or an infp who needs to work on defining her inner values.
 

Flutterby

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Hey. I was reading somewhere once, the whole introversion extroversion thing is a sliding scale with a mid-point, that's why some extroverts are more extroverted than other extroverts, and some introverts are more introverted than other introverted.

My theory is, if you are hovering around the mid point you could possibly be a bit of both?
 

Abstract Thinker

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IMO, and in my experience, I and E are the most flexible of all the "letters."

Edit: Seems to be the most malleable.
 

strychnine

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My theory is, if you are hovering around the mid point you could possibly be a bit of both?

I think if you are less polarized on I/E it is because there is less of a "gap" between your dominant and auxiliary functions... it would make sense that if you have less gap you could more easily use your auxiliary, so you would more easily be able to favour your opposite preference. But I don't know if this makes any sense at all haha

ETA: basically what I'm trying to say is the more developed your auxiliary is, the less energy cost there is to using it
 

William K

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Hey. I was reading somewhere once, the whole introversion extroversion thing is a sliding scale with a mid-point, that's why some extroverts are more extroverted than other extroverts, and some introverts are more introverted than other introverted.

My theory is, if you are hovering around the mid point you could possibly be a bit of both?

Yeah, they're called ambiverts. I tend to think of it as percentages, that is a person who is 50/50 I/E has a 50-50 chance of behaving as either in any situation. In fact, that's how I view all the 4 letters.
 

skylights

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Yeah, they're called ambiverts. I tend to think of it as percentages, that is a person who is 50/50 I/E has a 50-50 chance of behaving as either in any situation. In fact, that's how I view all the 4 letters.

hah, that makes a lot of sense.

the first way e-i was ever explained to me was in terms of energy output/input, which i found disorienting. i'm not like an energy vampire, but there's synergy that can happen with people, and that's a buildup of energy. but then, there's recuperation that happens when you're alone.

to me, energy output/input has more to do with the challenges i'm facing - and challenges can be people, but they can also be my own inner machinations, or they can be something else entirely. so when people are challenging, i need to restore energy alone, and when i'm challenging, i need to restore my energy with people. though maybe it happens that introverts face more challenges with people and extraverts face more challenges with themselves, and so on.

i really like the 50-50 idea. i suspect it typically ends up getting spread about in a patterned way - for instance, i don't particularly like starting conversations with strangers (even though i always enjoy the conversation), but i enjoy being the center of attention. so i'd be like 20% likely to start a conversation like that - introvert - but 80% likely to enjoy being the center of attention -extrovert -, averaging out around 50% - ambivert...

i think my biggest curiosity is how the e-i affects the rest of the functions. for me, it should have a balancing effect on Ne and Fi, and Te and Si...
 

Eckhart

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I think you make it yourself too easy to just say that you are 50-50 balanced.

We all use all functions, and we all show sometimes introverted or extraverted behaviour. But an individual has one way of behaviour which just feels more natural and comfortable to someone. However, we don't live only for ourselves. Society may influence how we behave, because we have to follow certain rules etc. Maybe you are already used to live in a certain other way other than your "original" way, but that wouldn't mean you have changed your type. You may just have developed your other functions by "practicing", but most probably it still does not feel as natural as your original personality. Like when a left-hander was forced to write with the right hand all the time, he may be able to write decent with the right hand, but it won't be as natural to the person as the left hand still.

Maybe you have to read more about the letters I and E still (they are not so easy to understand actually), or maybe you have to think a bit more about yourself. If you are unsure about your current behaviour, compare to some time in the past where you felt more "free", or your childhood. That may give you new insights too. I am sure it will be possible to decide between I and E some time.
 

skylights

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I think you make it yourself too easy to just say that you are 50-50 balanced.

We all use all functions, and we all show sometimes introverted or extraverted behaviour. But an individual has one way of behaviour which just feels more natural and comfortable to someone [...] Maybe you have to read more about the letters I and E still (they are not so easy to understand actually), or maybe you have to think a bit more about yourself. If you are unsure about your current behaviour, compare to some time in the past where you felt more "free", or your childhood. That may give you new insights too. I am sure it will be possible to decide between I and E some time.

sigh. i've been trying to figure this out on and off for 5 years, it's not for lack of questioning. i generally just get bored with it, give up and go play at something else.

the problem is this: i had a medical condition that didn't let me be around my peers until i was about 6. i was chatty with my parents and doctors, and later with other adults, but i was awkward with kids my age - no surprise, i'd never been around them. and i lagged socially for a while, even though i was always articulate for my age. now, i can connect easily with my peers, though i'm still better one-on-one than in groups. should that be my baseline?

maybe i'll go about this in a totally non-xnfp way. logical list time.

introversion
  • i am very comfortable by myself
  • i do not like starting conversations
  • i need a fair amount of alone time
  • i enjoy solitary activities
  • i like small, tight-knit groups, or one-on-one
  • i am not the life of a party
  • in fact, depending on whose party it is, i sometimes don't really even like parties
  • i get nervous when i am the center of attention
  • i have a small group of close friends
  • i think it would be easier for me to withdraw into myself, but i think it would end up being much worse for me. i have gone days without much alone time and i have gone days without much people time, and the days without people time drove me more nutty... so i dunno

extraversion
  • i like team sports, am in a sorority and other student groups
  • i like being the center of attention, and generally lose my initial nervousness as soon as i get onstage
  • i need a consistent presence of people
  • i am often the planner of social events in my group of friends, despite being an *nfp
  • i like to talk and gossip about people
  • i would usually rather do something with a friend than alone
  • when i was younger, i would always think before i spoke, because i didn't speak with peers much. now that i do, i forget to think before i speak and say rather dumb things sometimes
  • i have a very wide group of acquaintances
  • i get this funny revved up feeling as soon as i'm leaving a group of friends for the night, like a restless emptiness. i hate that feeling, it feels like i want to cry.
  • took a functions test, i am Ne > Fi > Te > Si, which correlates with enfp

unsure of where these fall
  • when i'm at my happiest and most relaxed, i become more extraverted
  • when i get stressed out, i open up more, want to talk, and seek people

well, that's a start at logical analysis :)
time to go play now
 
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