Liesl
New member
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2010
- Messages
- 204
Introverted extraverts
You know what? I could have written this myself.
I didn't learn this until several years after I became acquainted with MBTI, but introversion and extraversion don't correlate reliably with sociability. Real world levels of extraversion depend on both previous experience AND preference, whereas MBTI is supposed to reflect only your preference. For example, an ENFP who is repeatedly shunned or treated badly because she expresses her feelings will become more guarded with her feelings over time. It's not what she prefers to do, but it's necessary for her survival. This is what happened to me, and perhaps it's what happened to you.
When you're determining your MBTI preference, you need to rely on the way you prefer to behave when you're in your healthiest, happiest state of mind. I first realized I might be an extravert when I came home one day from an interesting dinner party. I came home so energized and raring to go.
That was the beginning of the chain of events that led me to conclude that I am an ENFP. (Well, there were several other clues along the way too. I kept noticing that I was the most assertive of the INFPs. When my feelings get hurt, my first response is to explain my opinion and engage the person I'm arguing with, not to shut down and feel badly. It's only when NO ONE around seems to understand me that I shut down and feel badly.) The bottom line for me is that it's not just enough for me to FEEL strongly about something. I have to talk to everybody I know ENDLESSLY about everything I feel strongly about. I want people to know who I am and what I stand for.
I keep going back and forth. I am almost exactly like both of the descriptions. The good the bad and the ugly of INFP and ENFP seem to describe me. I think I am ENFP, but only by a margin. Seriously can't I be both?
I am starting to think I became introverted because of my sucky childhood, but I enjoy my extroverted side and am becoming much more so as I get older. Even so it seems weird that I can align myself so closely with different types.
I'm also in a transition period so it's tougher for me to tell as I'm growing a lot right now. I have heard the ENFP called the shy extrovert, and I do think that describes me half the time, the other half I'm swinging from the chandeliers.
You know what? I could have written this myself.
I didn't learn this until several years after I became acquainted with MBTI, but introversion and extraversion don't correlate reliably with sociability. Real world levels of extraversion depend on both previous experience AND preference, whereas MBTI is supposed to reflect only your preference. For example, an ENFP who is repeatedly shunned or treated badly because she expresses her feelings will become more guarded with her feelings over time. It's not what she prefers to do, but it's necessary for her survival. This is what happened to me, and perhaps it's what happened to you.
When you're determining your MBTI preference, you need to rely on the way you prefer to behave when you're in your healthiest, happiest state of mind. I first realized I might be an extravert when I came home one day from an interesting dinner party. I came home so energized and raring to go.
That was the beginning of the chain of events that led me to conclude that I am an ENFP. (Well, there were several other clues along the way too. I kept noticing that I was the most assertive of the INFPs. When my feelings get hurt, my first response is to explain my opinion and engage the person I'm arguing with, not to shut down and feel badly. It's only when NO ONE around seems to understand me that I shut down and feel badly.) The bottom line for me is that it's not just enough for me to FEEL strongly about something. I have to talk to everybody I know ENDLESSLY about everything I feel strongly about. I want people to know who I am and what I stand for.
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