Rational/Guardian who will chart course then run behind scenes?

[MrsEvaLee]

My sixteen year old daughter recently attended a leadership conference and took the M-B test. Before she took it, I told her I thought she'd be an INTJ, and she wound up being an ISFJ, which I have trouble believing. Looking at the others, I have also wondered if INTP or ISTJ doesn't suit her.

Basically, she is a cheerleader valedictorian type. I really think she only cheers because it is more comfortable to her to be behind the fence knowing what she is supposed to do than with the general crowd engaging in social behavior and because it is something she has physically worked hard for. She says she doesn't want to be a boss CEO type person because she doesn't want to lead, but she has an innate ability to take all the tiny pieces and fit them together.

She is kind to children and animals and more than willing to do her duty and help out, but she doesn't generally like people unless they meet her standards of morality and intellect. She doesn't get along with her semi-brain damaged (not joking) sister because her sister doesn't live up to her standards of people, and she has trouble understanding that some people can not reach the same standards she has.

She is dependable and driven. She has set the goal of learning every foreign language she can, and at sixteen, she can already carry on conversations in her native English, of course, as well as Chinese, Spanish, and German (at least at the level of a native speaking second grader). For her career, she'd like to do international missions or work in the UN with human rights or UNICEF. She enjoys reading The Economist and fantasy novels. She dances, does gymnastics and cheerleading, sings in the choir, and is a pretty good actress (due to her fantastic memory and ability to express emotion as she reads-though not necessarily expressing emotion in her personal life, unless it's with the only two people she counts as her friends). She gets hurt easily, but doesn't let it show. Personally, I think she'd do well in secret service work because she has an incredible ability to keep secrets and she doesn't share what she's thinking. Unfortunately, she's also a little neurotic and tends to get stressed out (mostly about either not being able to meet her own expectations or someone else not meeting her expectations or when she's pressed in on all sides by people, which is probably another reason she doesn't mind being on stage as it puts her up and away from people)

 

[jenocyde]

I don't see any thing here that would indicate INTJ, or even ISFJ really. But I am more inclined to go with ISFJ due to the whole standards and morality thing (Fe). But other than that, she seems like any other J type.

She certainly doesn't sound like an INTP, though.

EDIT: now that I've read it again, it seems like she has tons of Si, so maybe ISFJ is a better fit. What made you think INTJ?

 

[cascadeco]

I'm not seeing INTx at all, either, based on the descriptions.

I don't think anything written goes against ISFJ either; in fact to me she seems quite ISxJ, and given how you describe her activities in school, her relationships, and her career goals, ISFJ could work (so could ISTJ..but I'm weighing her actual mbti/test-results more heavily, as I'm not sure there are that many ISTJ's who would test out as ISFJ). She's certainly driven!! Very grounded as well.

 

[JocktheMotie]

ISTJ.

 

[MrsEvaLee]

Her father is textbook INTJ, and she is just like her father. Her test was divided right down the middle for the last three. I think the more I read about it, she could be both ISTJ/ISFJ. She just doesn't seem to know how to connect with her peers, especially if they have a lesser intelligence

 

[jenocyde]

Her father is textbook INTJ, and she is just like her father. Her test was divided right down the middle for the last three. I think the more I read about it, she could be both ISTJ/ISFJ. She just doesn't seem to know how to connect with her peers, especially if they have a lesser intelligence

I'm sure she has many similarities to her dad, especially if they are both IxxJ, but I'm sure you also see many differences. I don't know if it's possible to be both because Te and Fe are very different. However, they are both extremely domineering functions. Does she try to control the way people think, or the way they behave? Maybe control isn't a good word... I mean, is she more concerned with the thought process or the action?

The thing about connecting with her peers - does she not know how, or does she not want to? And what do you mean by lesser intelligence? Intelligence in what form - reading comprehension, common sense, mathematics...? What is her criteria for judging intelligence?

 

[Little_Sticks]

Without getting into too much detail, she is either ISTJ or ISFJ. Both types often think very similarly.

To figure it out best you have to decide how she observes situations with people. Does she use her observations of how others are feeling and use that to determine how to figure out what the others like and appreciate and support that or does she pay more attention to how everything is being organized and determine how to better organize everything. She will do both, but one will be much more instinctively responsive in a situation.

Edit: Oops I made a mistake. Fixed it now.

 

[Donna Cecilia]

Form your description of her, I think ISTJ suits her best.

Also:

Her father is textbook INTJ, and she is just like her father.

My Mother tells me "you are just like your (INTJ) Father", quite often, so I can relate to this.

And to the fact that she finds difficult to relate with less intelligent people in class.

(ISTJ women are hard to find, aren´t we?)

 

[MrsEvaLee]

You're right, control is probably not the word because she prefers to stay out of other people's business. I believe she is more interested in their actions. (Ex: As I said, she's a cheerleader, but not because she likes the cheerleaders themselves. We live in the South, and when the cheerleaders begin practices they pray, but directly after that, they gossip about other girls. It frustrates my daughter and makes her angry that they're so hypocritical. She spoke up once about it, but said nothing more because she said her peace, and she doesn't see where saying anything else would improve the situation). She will only discuss if I ask, and she only discusses actions and words as she does not presume to know their thoughts, which are not visible to her.

Not knowing how/not wanting to is a good question. In some instances, it is the former, and she does try. In some instances (people who drink, smoke, curse, act rashly, don't work to the best of their ability, try to get others to do their work for them), it is the latter. She values loyalty and hard work.

As far as intelligence, it's the ability to know and understand facts and then put them together in logical fashion. She's a rising junior who made a 32 on the ACT/ 2160 on the SAT as a sophomore, and she's already taking college classes.

And for some reason, I think that the fact that her room is a disaster may have something to do with deciding her personality type.

 

[Donna Cecilia]

And for some reason, I think that the fact that her room is a disaster may have something to do with deciding her personality type.

My room is a disaster, too. Because I have no room in my schedule to make time to order it: work, University, Tango nights (I´m a dancer). Too much to worry about my room. As long as my bed is still there at the end of the day, and I know where my laptop is, it´s not a problem for me.

 

[MrsEvaLee]

I also think that she judges feelings by expressions and behavior, but she would not tell me that as she keeps so much to herself. She seems to pick up on far more than she tells anyone.

 

[MrsEvaLee]

And Donna Cecilia, that is so very much my daughter. She packs her schedule and this is never what seems to stress her out.

 

[Donna Cecilia]

I also think that she judges feelings by expressions and behavior, but she would not tell me that as she keeps so much to herself. She seems to pick up on far more than she tells anyone.

And this so much like me. When I examine the expressions and behaviour of my friends and the people around me, I can tell what they are thinking and/or feeling. But I don´t tell everything I´ve discovered, since I consider that what I keep to myself is useful information as to how to deal with each of them. Maybe she has the same reason to do so. As an introvert, I prefer to observe people, rather than interacting with them to know what they are like.

Also, for that reason, my friends keep telling me that I can read their minds.

 

[Jonny]

As far as those "just like your father" statements, well... I am an INTP and my dad is an ESTP, but my mom ALWAYS says I am just like him. I think there are characteristics and preferences independent of the MBTI which parents and children often share. Certain mannerisms, etc.

 

[MrsEvaLee]

My main interest in considering her type is her career. What are you studying at University? Do you think, considering your type, that you'd do well in missionary work?

 

[Jonny]

If she decided she wanted to be a housewife, do you think she'd feel guilt that she's not living up to your expectations of her "potential"?

 

[Donna Cecilia]

My main interest in considering her type is her career. What are you studying at University? Do you think, considering your type, that you'd do well in missionary work?

I´m a Marketing Analyst, now at University to get my degree in Advertising. And I have classmates of all types.

As for the missionary work, I´m Agnostic. But, if I weren´t and set it as a personal goal, I´d do well because I proposed myself to do so.

But, I know that working for a traditional institution (being the Military, Police, Church, or Government) is appealing to people of my type, since we hold them in high regard, and bear a strong respect towards them. I´m a Government employee, and do very well in my position.

 

[MrsEvaLee]

Okay, that sounds about right, and regarding if she were a housewife, I'm completely fine with that. I actually think that that will eventually be her plan after she has her career, whatever she chooses it to be, because she does have a strong sense of family and duty and we have discussed that she wants to devote herself to being a mother when she's finally ready to have children. Although I'm very proud that she wants to go off galavanting around the world helping people out, I would love to have her work as a mother or as a foreign language teacher right here in town. More importantly though, I'd love to see her really and truly happy in whatever it is she decides to do and to finally find people who understand her and appreciate her.

 

[jenocyde]

Yeah, she really sounds ISTJ.

I find that ISTJs are happy no matter what area of life they choose, as long as they have their routine and their autonomy. I actually love working with ISTJs, my favorite work relationship type actually. They know their job, their role and what's expected of them and they hustle to get it done well. They like the hierarchy and they like to move up at regular intervals. I love that. Little time for gossip, very determined. Of course, this just describes the ones that I know.

My ISFJ friends are a little more gossip and fashion oriented. Definitely hard workers but content to stay where they are rather than make the job their own and advance. They seem happier when they fit in to the work climate more than if they are hated but respected. I think my 3 ISFJ friends' biggest fear is of standing out from the crowd.

 

[Eric B]

Being from the same area, I can say that the environment is pretty heavily ISTJ. Not too many of them participate in subjects like this, but your average person you see around seems to fit an ISTJ profile.

My room is a disaster, too. Because I have no room in my schedule to make time to order it: work, University, Tango nights (I´m a dancer). Too much to worry about my room. As long as my bed is still there at the end of the day, and I know where my laptop is, it´s not a problem for me.

I also know an ISTJ with a pretty messy house.
While neatness might be a clue as to type, you cannot always go by that. While the SiTe energy might not be focused on the house in this particular case, it clearly is the attitude.