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This might seem weird but, I feel like I can't be INFP because they're so...beautiful

FalseHeartDothKnow

New member
Joined
Nov 20, 2009
Messages
279
MBTI Type
INFP
My INFP boyfriend naturally exudes warmth and tenderness without even trying, so much so that sometimes I wonder at it. He is helpful and understanding beyond his means, and even his melancholy is almost Shakespearian.
I always test as INFP as well, having taken lots of tests, and done research, but I dunno, my aura feels different to his. I can be quite boisterous with people at times, but I know that that is forced, and inauthentic, a learned behaviour to 'deal with' the outside world.
I actually can't handle people in my space, I don't really go out at like other students seem to, I can never really do gregarious without getting nervous and going over the top, and I perceive myself to be REALLY annoying.
Please help me type myself.

Kind Regards
FalseHeartDothKnow​
 

Seymour

Vaguely Precise
Joined
Sep 22, 2009
Messages
1,579
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
My INFP boyfriend naturally exudes warmth and tenderness without even trying, so much so that sometimes I wonder at it. He is helpful and understanding beyond his means, and even his melancholy is almost Shakespearian.
I always test as INFP as well, having taken lots of tests, and done research, but I dunno, my aura feels different to his. I can be quite boisterous with people at times, but I know that that is forced, and inauthentic, a learned behaviour to 'deal with' the outside world.
I actually can't handle people in my space, I don't really go out at like other students seem to, I can never really do gregarious without getting nervous and going over the top, and I perceive myself to be REALLY annoying.
Please help me type myself.

Kind Regards
FalseHeartDothKnow​

INFPs can easily come off as aloof or cold and prickly when we don't feel comfortable (read Jung's description of Fi-doms, for example)—I'm sure we come across in a variety of ways, depending. I wouldn't let that rule out being INFP by itself, since coping strategies for more extraverted situations vary.
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
Yeah not everyone of the same type is the same.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
Possibly a mildly extroverted ENFP. I'm borderline E/I.

As the above person said, NFPs can be VERY prickly. Seriously.

Your boyfriend is probably an enneagram 9. You might be an ennegram 4, or something else.
 

chickpea

perfect person
Joined
Sep 12, 2009
Messages
5,729
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
i act the same way and can't 100% connect with INFP descriptions because of it
 

Seymour

Vaguely Precise
Joined
Sep 22, 2009
Messages
1,579
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
If it helps, this is from Psychological Types on Fi-doms:

Jung p389 said:
Their [Fi-doms] outward demeanor is harmonious, inconspicuous, giving an impression of pleasing repose, or of sympathetic response, with no desire to to affect others, to impress, influence, or change them in any way. If this outward aspect is more pronounced, it arouses a suspicion of indifference and coldness, which may actually turn into a disregard for the comfort and well-being of others. [...] With the normal type, however, this only happens when the influence of the object is too strong. The feeling of harmony, therefore, lasts only so long as the object goes its own moderate way and makes no attempt to cross the other's path. There is little effort to respond to the real emotions of the other person; they are more often damped down and rebuffed, or cooled off by native value judgment. Although there is a constant readiness for peaceful and harmonious co-existence, strangers are shown no touch of amiability, no gleam of responsive warmth, but are met with apparent indifference or a repelling coldness. [....]

Which doesn't exactly sound warm and cuddly externally. I agree with what people said above (about type not being everything), and I think learning to deal with social situations is, in part, a skill that improves with practice.

I'm told I come across as charming and reasonably outgoing in social situations, but I still feel awkward and (when exhausted) like a failure. You might also try asking people who know you how you come across, since one's own social perceptions (especially as an introvert) may not always be accurate.
 

FalseHeartDothKnow

New member
Joined
Nov 20, 2009
Messages
279
MBTI Type
INFP
That sounds like how i would be were i not trying really hard not to be 'lukewarm' like that at work if you get my gist...my mum calls me 'aloof' but i never notice it to be honest. Thanks for taking time out to help guys.
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
Although there is a constant readiness for peaceful and harmonious co-existence, strangers are shown no touch of amiability, no gleam of responsive warmth, but are met with apparent indifference or a repelling coldness.

Yeah, I really like that, I think I might come across like that at times. Really goes against the F stereotype too, good ol' Jung.
 

Randomnity

insert random title here
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
9,485
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
lol, you sure sound infp in your OP.

what type would be your second guess?
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
My INFP boyfriend naturally exudes warmth and tenderness without even trying, so much so that sometimes I wonder at it. He is helpful and understanding beyond his means, and even his melancholy is almost Shakespearian.
I always test as INFP as well, having taken lots of tests, and done research, but I dunno, my aura feels different to his. I can be quite boisterous with people at times, but I know that that is forced, and inauthentic, a learned behaviour to 'deal with' the outside world.
I actually can't handle people in my space, I don't really go out at like other students seem to, I can never really do gregarious without getting nervous and going over the top, and I perceive myself to be REALLY annoying.
Please help me type myself.


I totally relate to this, and I have no doubt of my INFP-ness (except my melancholy is totally Shakespearian :cool:).

I can seem warm/nice, but it's inconsistent, often contrived, and "too intense". I greatly admire people who exude tenderness & warmth naturally. I feel that way inside, but I have trouble expressing it in a way that isn't awkward.

And hey, maybe your BF is the mistyped one? Enneagram differences (I find 9s come off the "warmest", & 4w3s can seem relatively warm; 4w5s & 5w4s seem the most aloof), and simply being two different people accounts for a lot also.
 
P

Phantonym

Guest
FalseHeartDothKnow, you do sound INFP, for what it's worth.

Your boyfriend is probably an enneagram 9. You might be an ennegram 4, or something else.

I've found that the enneagram system really does make a huge difference. I can relate to my enneagram type so much more than to any of the MBTI descriptions out there.
 

teslashock

Geolectric
Joined
Oct 27, 2009
Messages
1,690
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w6
My INFP boyfriend naturally exudes warmth and tenderness without even trying, so much so that sometimes I wonder at it. He is helpful and understanding beyond his means, and even his melancholy is almost Shakespearian.
I always test as INFP as well, having taken lots of tests, and done research, but I dunno, my aura feels different to his. I can be quite boisterous with people at times, but I know that that is forced, and inauthentic, a learned behaviour to 'deal with' the outside world.
I actually can't handle people in my space,
I don't really go out at like other students seem to, I can never really do gregarious without getting nervous and going over the top, and I perceive myself to be REALLY annoying.
Please help me type myself.

Kind Regards
FalseHeartDothKnow​

You definitely sound like an introvert, but that's really the most I can get from your post. The bolded sounds very Ji.

My initial hunch, just from inferences gathered by your OP, is that you are an INFP, but I could also see INFJ or an e4 INTP. There's just really not enough information for me to say anything for sure. If you want serious analysis, I'd suggest you give a bit more info. Perhaps you could start by describing your values a bit?

Oh, and comparing yourself to other people as a way of figuring out your type is not really a good place to start. Two people of the same type do not necessarily have to be completely similar or even give off similar "auras."
 

FalseHeartDothKnow

New member
Joined
Nov 20, 2009
Messages
279
MBTI Type
INFP
Hmmmm, thanks guys, let me see if I can give you more information without being overly self indulgent.
1. To kill two birds with one stone, I don't believe my boyfriend is mistyped, because, like me, he has taken several tests, and on a slightly less logical note he reminds me (and himself sometimes) very much of both Romeo from 'Romeo and Juliet,' and Remus from the 'Harry Potter series, both of whom, though mainly the latter, seem to resonate with something inside both of us somehow, and we were under the impression these were both INFPs, though please feel free correct this if we're mistaken. This brings me to the second point, which is I seem to spend much more of my time pondering the beauty and wonder of certain fictional characters than I do actually interacting with the majority of people (bar the ones who I hold dearest.) and I'm not sure where that puts me, apart from perhaps in lalaland to most people.
2.I try to follow these: a) Unless you know that someone was definitely out to hurt someone through pure spite, don't fully condemn them, because you can't possiblly get into their head and their situation, you only know what you would do and what society expects people to do, so you can't ever really treat two different people exactly the same. Always leave room for you're perceptions of people to change with new information. (b) It's ok not to like people, but it's not ok to be unpleasant to them, if you don't like em, stay away from them.
3. I am most likely to get annoyed when people don't accept my principals, not because I want them to follow them, I just don't want them to tell me I'm wrong about them, as I wouldn't tell them they are wrong about theirs, and if they're right i'll find out in due course by myself.
4. If I need an outlet for inner frustrations, I usually vent this annoyance by analyzing and questioning the morals and inconsistencies things on TV (not necessarily verbally unless friends already started it and I feel comfortable) rather than outright expressing my confusion at the principals behind certain acts of those around me.

I've been typing this post for ages and spilling all this out online seems far too self-absorbed for my liking, so over to you guys, and if you ever have issues you need help with then feel free to ask because I owe you one. Thanks FHDK :)
 

StephMC

Controlled Mischief
Joined
Mar 2, 2009
Messages
1,044
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
^ Definitely sounds INFP-like. A lot of Fi in that description
 

miss fortune

not to be trusted
Joined
Oct 4, 2007
Messages
20,589
Enneagram
827
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
the thread title is stereotypically INFPish :newwink:
 

FalseHeartDothKnow

New member
Joined
Nov 20, 2009
Messages
279
MBTI Type
INFP
:wubbie: Thanks again guys, you're amazingly patient to be hanging out on this board helping the new and confused, that deserves some respect....Kudos to you all and I hope I can help you (and maybe strugglers as well) with something:)


Just out of interest, are the above types of the fictional guys skewed or correct because I still think that the tendency to do that is rather intriguing to me since I struggle to type myself....Any similar experiences with this?
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
One thing that's good to know is your enneagram type. You and your boyfriend could definitely be different types. Enneagram makes a world of difference.

From how you describe things, it sounds like you're both 4's with different wings and/or instinctual stackings. :cheese: The stereotype of each MBTI type falls within an enneagram + MBTI type combo; and naturally some people don't relate (which leads to mistyping).
 
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