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Maybe I'm an extrovert after all?

sonickel77

New member
Joined
Aug 26, 2009
Messages
16
MBTI Type
INTP
Hello everyone

For years I've tested as INFP mainly, but there was something not quite right about that description. Too detached, airy fairy, mystical. I've experimented with ISFP and INTP mainly, but still, they do not ring true.

However, my recent experiences in social work classes have caused me to question my introversion. In this course, we are encouraged to share personal experiences, and get to know the other students. I'm finding that I'm the most comfortable speaking up in groups, and feel buzzed at the end of the day of such social interactions.

Perhaps my depression can be explained by not enough social contact in the past, especially of a meaningful sort. Usually extroverts annoy me, but they are usually talking trivia and not allowing anyone else to speak. In this class, things are different.

What do you think? ENFP?
 

Lily Bart

Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Messages
136
MBTI Type
INFP
If you become more outspoken (I hate the misuse of the term "Extroversion") in a structured, small-group situation, especially in a classroom setting, you're definitely an Introvert.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Hello everyone

For years I've tested as INFP mainly, but there was something not quite right about that description. Too detached, airy fairy, mystical. I've experimented with ISFP and INTP mainly, but still, they do not ring true.

However, my recent experiences in social work classes have caused me to question my introversion. In this course, we are encouraged to share personal experiences, and get to know the other students. I'm finding that I'm the most comfortable speaking up in groups, and feel buzzed at the end of the day of such social interactions.

Perhaps my depression can be explained by not enough social contact in the past, especially of a meaningful sort. Usually extroverts annoy me, but they are usually talking trivia and not allowing anyone else to speak. In this class, things are different.

What do you think? ENFP?

i think enfps definitely do become depressed w/o enough quality social interaction...and can feel alone even in the middle of a group of people if they're discussing things we don't care about. i tested infp at first too...it was after i moved away and wasn't working for awhile and just alone too much...felt out of sorts but didn't know why at the time.

and...i associated extraversion with a certain type of person that i don't relate to at all...but i get that isn't how all extraverts are now...the people who know me well have said i can't be anything other than enfp and knowing more about it now, i agree.

there are quite a few threads related to the topic also that might help if you wanna do a search.
 

mr.awesome

New member
Joined
Jan 2, 2010
Messages
368
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
i would think I/E would be the easiest element to figure out :p haha.
if your energy is gained and released in social gatherings - extrovert
if your energy is gained and maintained when youre by yourself - introvert

thats just my kinda simple way of saying it i guess.
 

BlueFlame

New member
Joined
Feb 8, 2010
Messages
181
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
3w2
This was the mistake I made. It was too "easy" for me to give it much consideration. I mistyped as an introvert for years.

I think it's easy to define if you're at either extreme, because you can still type yourself with the incorrect, but much used *do I have a million friends?* or *do I spend all of my free time alone in my room* method and still be correct.

But those of us who don't fit that mold because of depression, or lack of social skills, or anxiety, or
a high level of selectivity, or just simply not being extreme definitely have a harder time.

I have an insanely genius friend who has such a hard time relating to people growing up, he typed as an introvert for a long time. But as he's gotten older and his Fe has matured, he's really been able to be his extroverted self in practice, not just in theory.
 

disregard

mrs
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
7,826
MBTI Type
INFP
I think it's easy to define if you're at either extreme, because you can still type yourself with the incorrect, but much used *do I have a million friends?* or *do I spend all of my free time alone in my room* method and still be correct.

I disagree. I don't have a million friends, but I'm very much oriented to my environment by means of Te. Extroversion does not denote a forfeit of quality.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
If you're the most comfortable one speaking in groups (the initiator, or volunteers answers a lot, volunteers to speak during a class presentation) I'm thinking that you might be an extrovert because I'm like that too. It sounds like the ExxP get things going style.

I tested INFP A LOT at first, but always ENFp in socionics, and sometimes ENFP in MBTI. People who know me IRL say there's no way in hell that I'm an introvert.

I think the reason why I was able to buy into the idea of myself being an introvert is because I'm not an extreme extrovert, and I found out later that apparently ENFPs want more alone time than some extroverts.
 

BlueFlame

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Joined
Feb 8, 2010
Messages
181
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
3w2
I disagree. I don't have a million friends, but I'm very much oriented to my environment by means of Te. Extroversion does not denote a forfeit of quality.

So your point would be what? That you consider yourself extroverted by way of your functions, not your socially directed energy? Correct me if I'm wrong.

I don't recall saying anything about quality. A *high level of selectivity* is where a lot of extroverts with a small group of friends fall unless it's because of a lack of opportunity or desire to approach people.
 

disregard

mrs
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
7,826
MBTI Type
INFP
So your point would be what? That you consider yourself extroverted by way of your functions, not your socially directed energy? Correct me if I'm wrong.

I don't recall saying anything about quality. A *high level of selectivity* is where a lot of extroverts with a small group of friends fall unless it's because of a lack of opportunity or desire to approach people.

My point was that the amount of friends approach to extroversion is flawed, and you apparently agree with me given the bold statement. If a lot of extroverts fall under that category, then the aforementioned method can't be all that correct.

Having a million friends has everything to do with quality (or lack thereof), and that is why I used the word in my sentence.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
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784
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sx/sp
the way i know is because i'm outward focused...i think better when i talk...i think as i write...like right now...no clue what i'm about to say until i say it. :)

i am completely lazy and lethargic alone...and totally full of energy with people...groups of people...less so with just one...total energy high after being with people and need to wind down for hours after....stuff like that.
 

JustHer

Pumpernickel
Joined
Aug 7, 2009
Messages
1,954
MBTI Type
ENTJ
I think asking your friends/family might be the best way to tell. I have an ENTP friend who insists he is an INTP, but watching him around other people at social events makes it so obvious that he isnt, but he really just doesnt see it for whatever reason.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
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Mar 20, 2009
Messages
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sp/sx
and...i associated extraversion with a certain type of person that i don't relate to at all...but i get that isn't how all extraverts are now...the people who know me well have said i can't be anything other than enfp and knowing more about it now, i agree.

But those of us who don't fit that mold because of depression, or lack of social skills, or anxiety, or
a high level of selectivity, or just simply not being extreme definitely have a harder time.

I have an ENFJ friend who cannot see himself as extroverted for similar reasons you both mention. He seems to associate introversion with positive traits: being intelligent, "deep", thoughtful, loyal, and modest; and he sees extroverts as being shallow, loud, obnoxious, social butterflies, arrogant, etc. He also suffers from depression and some mild social anxiety. To me, his Fe is very clear, but he doesn't see himself that way & almost takes being called an extrovert as an insult....
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
I have an ENFJ friend who cannot see himself as extroverted for similar reasons you both mention. He seems to associate introversion with positive traits: being intelligent, "deep", thoughtful, loyal, and modest; and he sees extroverts as being shallow, loud, obnoxious, social butterflies, arrogant, etc. He also suffers from depression and some mild social anxiety. To me, his Fe is very clear, but he doesn't see himself that way & almost takes being called an extrovert as an insult....
I was a lot like your friend for the longest time and am still to a certain extent. I am still hesitant to call myself an ENFJ. I usually say, "I think I am an uhhh...E...NFJ". haha
 

sonickel77

New member
Joined
Aug 26, 2009
Messages
16
MBTI Type
INTP
Thanks everyone.

I think ENFP could be the right choice. It's not just speaking up in class, it's approaching people to talk to them in breaks, telling funny stories, as well. Probably because the whole class is NF, or at least F dominated, it's easier to not feel judged and therefore shy.

A while ago, I got tested by some bloke for Enneagram and MBTI; he was certain I was an extrovert, and it was the only thing he questioned about my results.

And yes, my childhood was traumatic, and was rejected by my peers in school for being different. I think that's what caused me to retreat for such a long time.

ETA: does anyone else talk to themselves to process the thoughts of the day? I have to vocalise or else I feel like some pressure cooker.
 
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B

brainheart

Guest
Yeah, absolutely I considered myself an introvert until about a week ago. I think it can help to observe the group, the context in which you're in, as you said. For example, if I'm in a group of introverts, I'm definitely the one who takes charge, gets things going, talks the most. I become the talk show host, it's weird. (I must add, however, these must be people I believe to be of interest. If they are not interesting to me, either in personality or idea, forget it. I'll take out a book and entertain myself.) But when I'm around super outgoing extroverts, I tend to shut up. Partially because they are talking about things I'm not so interested in, partially because it means less work for me, partially because I can find them extremely overwhelming.

I can spend long periods by myself, but I'm not so much by myself- I'm constantly surrounded by ideas, external stimuli, be it books, music, film, internet, the physical world.

Also, when no one else is around, I become a serious slacker, and my internal world seems to be pretty absent. I'm just sucking in external stuff. It's when I'm around others (or listening to music, watching film, external things) that my feelings seem to come into play. And I am a total misanthrope, was pegged the weirdo as a kid/ a big chunk of my adult life. Thing is, there aren't a lot of NeTi women around, so it can make you feel pretty... out there.
 

Lady_X

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Yeah, absolutely I considered myself an introvert until about a week ago. I think it can help to observe the group, the context in which you're in, as you said. For example, if I'm in a group of introverts, I'm definitely the one who takes charge, gets things going, talks the most. I become the talk show host, it's weird. (I must add, however, these must be people I believe to be of interest. If they are not interesting to me, either in personality or idea, forget it. I'll take out a book and entertain myself.) But when I'm around super outgoing extroverts, I tend to shut up. Partially because they are talking about things I'm not so interested in, partially because it means less work for me, partially because I can find them extremely overwhelming.

I can spend long periods by myself, but I'm not so much by myself- I'm constantly surrounded by ideas, external stimuli, be it books, music, film, internet, the physical world.

Also, when no one else is around, I become a serious slacker, and my internal world seems to be pretty absent. I'm just sucking in external stuff. It's when I'm around others (or listening to music, watching film, external things) that my feelings seem to come into play. And I am a total misanthrope, was pegged the weirdo as a kid/ a big chunk of my adult life. Thing is, there aren't a lot of NeTi women around, so it can make you feel pretty... out there.

yeah i think ive read that's common for extraverted n's...people can out extravert us...we can take the back seat...or simply as you said the topic doesn't pique our interest so we don't contribute as much as we would otherwise...i can only feign interest in chit chat or small talk for so long...i usually guide the course of conversation to something else i'm interested in...something more abstract...or personal or go off and do my own thing...space out to the music or something.
 

highlander

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Messages
26,562
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
If you're the most comfortable one speaking in groups (the initiator, or volunteers answers a lot, volunteers to speak during a class presentation) I'm thinking that you might be an extrovert because I'm like that too. It sounds like the ExxP get things going style.

I tested INFP A LOT at first, but always ENFp in socionics, and sometimes ENFP in MBTI. People who know me IRL say there's no way in hell that I'm an introvert.

I think the reason why I was able to buy into the idea of myself being an introvert is because I'm not an extreme extrovert, and I found out later that apparently ENFPs want more alone time than some extroverts.

Don't know how common this is, but have personally observed this.

Very social, thrives on interaction, but needs some time alone.
 

Lady_X

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i think that's right...or necessary to develop fi...we need to be alone to process...otherwise as my enfp friend said we're just recklessly living off ne...ne gets distracted...it's important to center the fi...or you make a lot of bad choices that you can't undo.
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
Hiya, guys, hope you don't mind me jumping in, but upon a great deal of reflection, as well as taking personality tests over and over again, both internet and book, I found that when I'm around people I become an Enfp/j and when I'm alone I become an Intp, not so much "j" here because I think mostly about the future when I'm alone, or more specifically how the future will play out. I don't like limiting myself to one because during different situations we have different levels of beliefs and convictions.

Besides most of these tests rely on percentages so though you may be close usually no one is exactly E or I, I may have repeated an early statement, but I thought I might give a go at answering this. Being bogged down is never a good feeling.
 
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