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I was prompted to be typed here.

Loxias

New member
Joined
Mar 10, 2010
Messages
294
MBTI Type
INxj
Enneagram
4w5
Hi!
I am totally new to the place, and I don't know if it's most appropriate to just pop here and ask for typing. But I hope some will answer my request.
From what I understand I'd have to write a little biography.
As a preface I wish to apologise for the poor grammar and syntax and the self-centeredness of such thing.

My earliest memories go back to when I turned 2 when I stopped being the only child of my parents, with the arrival of my sister in the house.
I remember seeing her cradle from below, and somehow getting that it was an important thing.
At kindergarten I had very little friends and spent most of my time alone, walking around the playground. Watching cartoons about space travel and alice in wonderland influenced me a lot, and I remember thinking that when walking arond the sandbox I was on an intergalactic trip, and would talk about light years (without really understanding what it meant) before knowing how to read.
There were funny noises from the plumbing in the toilets, and I thought that they were two extra-terrestrial persons. Bwitch from neptune and Volconel from Venus (sometimes from Jupiter too).
I learnt how to read when I was 4, and around that time my interest in space gradually shifted in an interest for geography, I was fascinated by the different vegetations, people, foods, climates around the world, and invented my own countries, often locating them in countries that had caught my attention.
At that point, the playground of primary school began the map of those lands, there were different layers of concrete on the ground according to places, with different texture, and many interestin features that became deserts, towns, lakes, mountains.
I spent most of my time walking around and imaginating I was doing a documentary on those places or a film about the lives of the people that visited the place, their experiences and reactions.
While I knew how to read early, I was a bad student, I had bad handwriting, very messy works, and poor attention skills.
I was also terribly bad at sports, very uncoordinated and uninterested.
All this gave me a lot of resent and feelings of inferiority towards the other children.

When I was around 6 or 7 I had one invented country in particular that remained and that I still spend time thinking about and perfecting nowadays, although I added another one that has become even more important around when I turned 10. Which coincides more or less with acquiring an interest in languages, their origins, how they work, and even more importantly : their phonetic sounds. And also creating the languages for my countries.

Puberty is when I started opening more to others and socialising beyond the children of my parents friends. And while I often took good pleasure in interactions one on one with friends. I always felt awkward around more people and would be very fast dismissed or subject to jokes.

Around 12 I got an interest in politics, more or less for the sake of perfecting my countries, and got at that time very much into communism, as well as buddhist views (in a very very very naive way though).

My first interest and source of knowledge that wasn't in the aim of making my countries was a strong interest in metal music that first appeared when I was 13 and that is still a very big part of my life now and which has expended during the last couple of years into an interest in music in general.
And in many ways it has become and still is one of my greatest tools for socialising too.

Shortly after started high school years, where two other important passions came to life : photography and travels alone (that is, not with family like before).
I first interested in photography for 2 reasons : I wanted to take picture of places I had been, but rather to mislead people into seeing the places like I wanted them to see them, or taking pictures of places that looked like my invented countries. As since I could remember, I loved books with photos of the world because I would place them in my invented countries (oh the theft!).
At that time, my outlook on politics and philosophy changed quite drastically. I got into Nietzsche and Paganish things. Although I have to say that Paganism attracted me mainly on an aesthetical point of view (which I think might be the case for many people interested in it).
High school years were kind of messy, but not necessarly in a bad way. My school results in many subjects had become quite abysmal (I was schooled in the French system and took up the Scientific section to please my parents and my smudged perception of myself as a kind of scientist, yet I failed miserably at maths and physics). I shunned school except for the darkroom of the school, and spent my time escaping through books, fictions and romantic fantasies as well as trying to undertand my sexual orientation (which is still something I don't understand nowadays).
I got the occasion at 16 to go for my first trip alone, traveling for 25 days through northern Europe, with a backpack, a camera, and tickets to a metal festival in Finland.
This was a huge realisation and some of the best memories in my life. I knew I enjoyed walking in forests, seeing their beauties, and imaginating legends from them and fitting them in my countries. But this trip was different. It took a more direct aspect, I was living on the instant and sucking up everything I saw, not asigning them to my countries, simply capturing their essence, and yeah, dreaming at moments or others, that behind a tree in the Finnish forest would come some elven character. ANd of course, taking pictures too, pictures that were frank about the place, where the only concern was not aout giving a special image of the places, but rather showing its beauty the best ways possible.
This trip is still bound in sensations from all 5 senses that I recall with much pleasure.

I laboriously finished high school, and decided to study architecture, both as a suggestion from my father, and as what I believed would be the best way to put a bit of my invention in the real world. I started very well, but soon failed again. Lost motivation, getting more and more disgusted by the philosophy of architecture nowadays and the crowd of architecture students, than by the act of creating work.
It also corresponds to a time where I found new passions again : one directed at gathering knowledge for my countries, that is anthropology. And the other directed at quenching the thirst for meaning in life, that is metaphysics, and esoteric traditions.
It is also a time where I spent a lot more time analysing my values, the values of the world around me as well as the fuzzy aspects of my mind, my dreams, the textures and sounds in my head, the dreams, the roots of my tastes in things. The primary matters of what my imaginary lands were made of.
And with it came a growing envy of creating things that were based on those primary matters, or on the visions from dream like states. I decided to start studying fine arts and photography more specifically to achieve these goals, and it is pretty much where I am now.
During the last 2-3 years my invented countries have been toned down a lot, and my social life finally kicked in, although I certainly aren't a social butterfly, I take enjoyment in dancing, some social gatherings around people I feel comfortable with, as well as spending active time outdoors, feeling the world as it is.
What takes most of my thinking time now are : thinking about my ideals and values, how I believe I should be in the world, and what the world should be like (which some of my friends describe as pining) as well as producing beautiful, strong works that convey those aesthetics that are so important to me, and which I believe can be universalised.
I spend a lot of efforts trying to compensate for my messy and disorganised ways, as well as being a confident person around people and also conforming to what I believe is right behaviour (which often goes against some of my natural instincts).

To give a few more informations :
-I am rather upbeat, and tend to have a hard time staying in place for too long. Unless I am focused on doing something (reading, learning about stuff, creating work).
-I am prone to occasional bouts of depressive mood and anxiety, although I am overall on the happier side.
-I am good with understanding the workings of languages, climates and metaphysical writings.
-I am bad at understanding movement and things in action, most verbose XXth century philosophy (Sartre, Derrida, the activists at uni...).
-I enjoy cooking, photography, hiking, cycling, swimming, reading, traveling and listening to music.
-I tend to like reducing interactions between things to simple schematic dynamics and can say I am good schematising things, although not necessarly visually.
-I am easily blocked by conceptual concerns of my actions and creations, and they can become a break to creation, often out of fear of my works being seen as too naive or conceptually irrelevant otherwise.
-If there is one person in history I identify with on many aspects and feel very much in touch with, it's the writer Mishima. I am also very interested in Japanese culture and art history, and to a lesser extent to Chinese history too. I very much see the values of the bushido as a code by which I should live, and up to which I judge my worth (needless to say, I feel very worthless, but I work on improvement).

I think that's pretty much all. I hope I didn't bore you, and that you won't hate me after reading this. I am nicer than it seems, and I am not that arrogant as this might convey.

Edit : I am extremely perfectionist, and I am very unhappy about how I wrote this. But I decided to try not to edit it so it is more of a natural, on the fire of action description, and that it might speak better about how I think without self-conscious alterations.
 

StrappingYoungLad

New member
Joined
Aug 11, 2009
Messages
199
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w8
My bogus guess is that you are INFP because you wrote a wall of text (with little errors, otherwise you would have been an ENFP) and because you didn't put somewhere in your introductory text how great your powers of rhetoric are or how dumb people are (that would have made you an NT).
 

Loxias

New member
Joined
Mar 10, 2010
Messages
294
MBTI Type
INxj
Enneagram
4w5
So NT types would be more outwardly self-confident or boasting about their abilities.
The impression I get from them is that they do have those abilities, while I don't, so I won't boast about it.

Thanks a lot for answering.
 

StrappingYoungLad

New member
Joined
Aug 11, 2009
Messages
199
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w8
So NT types would be more outwardly self-confident or boasting about their abilities.

On a forum like this, sure. All types do that.

But I was just comparing your post with similar NT's introductory posts.
 

BlueScreen

Fail 2.0
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
2,668
MBTI Type
YMCA
I'm going to guess that you are INTJ, but I'm really not sure.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
Somehow I can see how INTJ and INFP were both guessed from his/her post. Don't ask me why, but they both make sense for different reasons. :huh:
 

Loxias

New member
Joined
Mar 10, 2010
Messages
294
MBTI Type
INxj
Enneagram
4w5
Thanks.
Most test I have taken have given me INFP.
But maybe I am biased in assessing myself as FP? My father was a quite authoritarian ISTJ and being called and judged for all my time growing up as disorganised, inefficient and too dreamy has probably driven me to see myself in that light and overlooking more thinking and judging aspects.

Are there certain parameters, questions or criteria that would help determine where I stand between INFP and INTJ that would be objective enough not to be biase by self-image?

OH and I am a guy, btw.
 

Little_Sticks

New member
Joined
Aug 19, 2009
Messages
1,358
I'm going to say

Healthy, well-adjusted INTJ.

I see INFPs as being more naturally-oriented towards connecting with people in some way as a main focus in the things that they do. I don't see that in your wall of text.
 

Loxias

New member
Joined
Mar 10, 2010
Messages
294
MBTI Type
INxj
Enneagram
4w5
Well, as I try to understand it, and reading the descriptions of types. It seems that my relationship to others is quite INTJ-like. And I do like to create systems and organisations like an INTJ. But I rarely do it with utilitarian aims in mind like INTJs would seem to.
I do it mainly for what could be called poetic enjoyment. I also lack the rigor and scientific/calculating approach that seems to be a trademark of INTJs.

Is it possible to be an in between?
Somehow, I am more sure I am not an INFJ nor an INTP.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
I'm going to say

Healthy, well-adjusted INTJ.

I see INFPs as being more naturally-oriented towards connecting with people in some way as a main focus in the things that they do. I don't see that in your wall of text.

That's what it is...it's the IxxJ object orientation vs. a people focused orientation...but the Fi is clear here, I think, which gives the impression of INFP.

I've seen someone suggest that Ni+Fi loop without tons of Te can kind of look like INFP Fi/Ne.
 

Loxias

New member
Joined
Mar 10, 2010
Messages
294
MBTI Type
INxj
Enneagram
4w5
Hmmm, I have a lot to learn, I am not very familiar with the concepts of : Ni, Fi, Ti, Te and their interactions.
Is it possible that sme of their combinations don't correspond to existing MBTI types?
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I think that you're an INTJ. But everyone is going to say INF because of the fact that you're a 4w5, and everyone associates 4w5 traits with INF traits.

Also marmalade even pointed that out, I think she's just picking up on the 4w5 traits and INTJ traits in how you describe yourself.
 

21%

You have a choice!
Joined
May 15, 2009
Messages
3,224
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
I definitely agree with the 4w5, but to me you don't sound like an INFP...

Do you have strong emotions? How do you deal with them? Do you make friends easily? How are you around strangers?
 

Loxias

New member
Joined
Mar 10, 2010
Messages
294
MBTI Type
INxj
Enneagram
4w5
I don't have strong emotions per se. I haven't cried in 7 years, but sometimes films or books can make me feel on the verge of crying. I usually derive joy from contemplation or achievement. But I would say my emotions are not deep, they are rather superficial as a reaction to what happens around me.
I do get strong bouts of anxiety and worried fast over things that I could fail at doing if I don't organise well, or things that I might have done wrong.
Anxiety is probably the only emotion I experience deeply.

However feelings themselves, without emotions, and the ideas or impressions I can derive from them are much more powerful. For instance, at a concert, if the music, the loudness and heat start getting to me, I can drift off to visualisations and fantasies that accompany the music, and those can have a strong impact. It also happens when I listen to music alone, and focus exclusively on it.

I welcome emotions as I don't like thinking of myself as a robot, it goes against what I think is right.

I make friends more or less easily, people usually think I am interesting and worth talking to a bit, but I very rarely make close friends. In most situations where there are several friends talking, I will remain silent, and either listen if it is pertaining to my interests, either drift off and think about my own stuff.
I also get the impression that people like me at first, but then I need to make efforts to keep them interested, though there are exceptions with whom I can discuss for hours on end about everything, those are my close friends.

Around strangers I feel very unconfident and constantly judged. I usually try to be unnoticeable, or if I am noticeable, I'd rather it be in a respectable way.
I sometimes use alcohol to alleviate this and be more loose with myself and lose my anxieties.
If I am with a friend around strangers, it's much easier, and I can be quite active and outgoing, which is what makes some people interested in me at first sight (until they realise I am actually a rather boring person).
 
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