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Could you please help me type this dude?

Lightyear

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Jul 3, 2008
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I have been thinking about a particular individual in my life and the more I think about this guy the less sure I am what type he is.

Firstly he is a natural womanizer (but also a devout Christian so he keeps himself in check), one smile and charming wink can turn several generations of women into giggly fangirls. He is naturally charismatic and can talk but also knows how to just listen, which of course the ladies like very much. He is very tactile, he knows exactly how to hug and touch in a way that makes the other party feel comfortable, sometimes to a degree that it seems almost manipulative (for example hugs for girls that last a tiny bit too long, I guess there is some emotional neediness there)

He loves travelling and exploring, is constantly all over the place and most of the time looks like he has just stepped of a surfboard (during his times at Cambridge uni the other students called him "The dude") He is underneath the charming, smiley exterior very sensitive and emotionally intelligent. (To a degree that after the only longer relationship he had in his life ended (where I believe no sex was involved) he was hurt so much that he had to see a therapist. He has also stressed since then how much he values his new-found FREEDOM!)

He is definitely extroverted and a feeler and my immediate impression was that he is an ESFP. But I also know that he loves to plan and organize things in advance which seems very Jish to me. He has a very subtle (so it takes quite a while to detect it under the smiley exterior) manipulative streak to him. He knows he can talk and has charisma so he will use these skills to spin some things his way until after a while the other party realizes that and thinks: "Hey... wait a minute!"

Another thing is that he is doing a PhD at the moment. Okay, I might be prejudiced here but long, long years of academic study don't seem like a particularly ESFP-thing to me. His bachelor degree was in Biology and now he is basically studying how to save the environment/ deal with the environment responsibly. Climate change and how to fight it is on his mind a lot, especially after he attended some key meetings at the Copenhagen Climate summit.

At first I was thinking that perhaps his area of study proves that he is an S (after all trying to save the environment is a very practical concern) but I was talking to his mum recently and she told me that while all her other sons were running up and down the house when they were little he was sitting in his room and reading books, he was turning their pages before he could even read. That doesn't sound very S to me. He also loves to write and is at the moment writing a novel about ecology that according to him has some similarity to George Orwell's "Animal Farm". He is also someone who questions and thinks a lot. Again, how typical is that for an ESFP?

I know that he has some pride issues (unsurprising if one is good-looking, charismatic, very intelligent and highly educated) but underneath it all there beats a genuinely good, soft heart.

Interesting character, ey?! What type do you think is he?
 
Last edited:

StephMC

Controlled Mischief
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Mar 2, 2009
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Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Sounds like an ENFP to me. Maybe an ENFJ, but I'm leaning more to the P.

At first I was thinking that perhaps his area of study proves that he is an S (after all trying to save the environment is a very practical concern) but I was talking to his mum recently and she told me that while all her other sons were running up and down the house when they were little he was sitting in his room and reading books, he was turning their pages before he could even read.

Nah... That isn't N or S really. When I was little, I would sit in my room going through encylopedias because I found them interesting. And would have a tower of books in the corner.
 

haag261390

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Dec 21, 2009
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this doesn't strike to me as an ESFP but more of an ENFJ.

He is very tactile, he knows exactly how to hug and touch in a way that makes the other party feel comfortable, sometimes to a degree that it seems almost manipulative (for example hugs for girls that last a tiny bit too long, I guess there is some emotional neediness there)
 

Lightyear

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this doesn't strike to me as an ESFP but more of an ENFJ.

But wouldn't an ESFP be very sensitive to anything that has to do with physical touch since he is a major Se user? Or is being tactile more of an Fe thing?
 

haag261390

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But wouldn't an ESFP be very sensitive to anything that has to do with physical touch since he is a major Se user? Or is being tactile more of an Fe thing?

He has a very subtle (so it takes quite a while to detect it under the smiley exterior) manipulative streak to him. He knows he can talk and has charisma so he will use these skills to spin some things his way until after a while the other party realizes that and thinks: "Hey... wait a minute!"

this made it seem like he was an ENFJ. I've been around ENFJs and they do this a lot but then again, he could be an ESFP.
 

Tycho

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The two ENFJ guys that I know also happen to be the best womanizers I've seen around (I'm so jealous of them..). They can smile in such a way that it puts even me under their spell.

I wouldn't judge someone by his field of study. I'm 100% intuitive and I study food technology. Nothing is more concrete than tomato sauce but the N's in my study are definetely the best students, and the ones most likely to do their PhD.
 

Lightyear

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One thing that makes me doubt that he is an ENFJ is that I don't naturally click with him, though I think he is an awesome guy when I try to talk to him one-on-one there are many awkward moments. I assume that as an INFJ it would be much easier for me to communicate with an ENFJ than with an ESFP so that makes me wonder.
 

Tycho

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One thing that makes me doubt that he is an ENFJ is that I don't naturally click with him, though I think he is an awesome guy when I try to talk to him one-on-one there are many awkward moments. I assume that as an INFJ it would be much easier for me to communicate with an ENFJ than with an ESFP so that makes me wonder.

ENFJ's can hesitate to connect with people that seem to have a lot of psychological insight or complexity.

At some point they can feel like they figured themselves out enough to lead satisfying lives; then they don't see much possible gain in being confronted with their own inner reality too much, it can even be counterproductive (it is counterproductive if you're looking for an extensive, rather than an intensive feeling contact with the world).
 

Rebe

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everything you wrote about him screams ENFJ

"I assume that as an INFJ it would be much easier for me to communicate with an ENFJ than with an ESFP so that makes me wonder."

Not necessarily. I didn't immediately click with this ENFP I met. Lots of little reasons why that may be.
 
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