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Type my roommate

sofmarhof

New member
Joined
Apr 30, 2009
Messages
327
MBTI Type
INTP
As will become apparent if you read this mess, this is sort of just a list of things that bug me about my roommate. Sorry. She is among my few best friends, but I have never in my life experienced a love-hate relationship approaching anywhere near this extent. Usually we're fine for a couple weeks and then I get really, really mad at her for a few days. Well, guess what part of the cycle we're at now.

-She seems to see responsibilities, in terms of personal relationships, in black and white. Once, she kept me awake by talking to my other roommate late at night (at a normal volume, but our walls are thin). The next morning, I asked her if they could talk in another room, if they ever did that again. Her first reaction was to say, "I think I have the right to talk where I want in my apartment!" Then I said, "Of course you have the right, but it would be nice if you didn't." Her reaction, silent, was kind of as if she was thinking, "Oh, right. Being nice."

-A pushover, and non-confrontational, which usually means complaining to me when somebody else has offended her. We go to lunch as a big group, and she pays with her credit card, and we all pay her cash. People ask her, several times, if she has gotten the right amount, and she says "Oh, yes, of course!" Then, days later, I mention going out and she complains that she ended up paying twice what she owed the last time.

-Weird about her appearance. She always talks about how fat and ugly she is, yet she doesn't seem to really care about what she looks like in terms of putting any effort into it. She goes outside in the most ridiculous things (like these ripped up pajama pants which are unbelievably horrible); after we tell her she looks ridiculous, she looks in the mirror, agrees, and then goes out anyway. She never lets anyone take pictures of her. She calls perfectly good looking women horribly fat and ugly all the time.

-She loves to talk about how dysfunctional she is—but she's not. She gets straight A's, does all the cleaning, and takes care of the bills. She always calls herself a drunk and a drug addict, when she rarely drinks or smokes week and doesn't use anything else. She has the weirdest attitude toward cleaning, like she sees it as something that has do be done not because it's dirty, but because cleaning is just something you have to do.

-Weird with food. She likes a variety of cuisines, but, for instance, always orders the same dish from this Thai restaurant. She said she was starting to get sick of it, and didn't want to eat there anymore. I said, "Well, maybe you should order something besides pad thai" but that was apparently an unreasonable suggestion. She realizes how crazy she is about this, and seems to get a kick out of how annoying I find it.

-I would say she's an introvert, but nowhere near the extent to which I am. She likes to have parties, but is quiet and plays housekeeper the whole time (whereas I hide in my room). But when she's upset she wants to be alone, which generally entails taking walks in the East Village alone at 4 am.

Hopefully that isn't just dumb venting and is specific enough for you to help me type her. Any advice you may have on getting along with her better would be very welcome.
 

Salomé

meh
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,527
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Sounds like a :crazy: type!

Maybe you should revisit the description when you two are on better terms? :)

Why is she one of your best friends again?
 

Oaky

Travelling mind
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
6,180
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
She sounds a bit like an ENTJ, possibly ESTJ.
 

JustHer

Pumpernickel
Joined
Aug 7, 2009
Messages
1,954
MBTI Type
ENTJ
ISTJ?

or an SJ of some sort, the only thing somewhat apparent from this is Si.
 

sofmarhof

New member
Joined
Apr 30, 2009
Messages
327
MBTI Type
INTP
Ha. I was thinking, gee, I should think of some things I like about her and add them to the list. But I had a hard time thinking of any. Believe it or not, I think of her as my sane roommate, compared to the other one. (You don't want to know.)

We met on Facebook in the "Find a Roommate" group for my college. We liked some of the same music and movies. I lived with her freshman year, and we liked each other enough to live together again, though I did have my doubts then, since we never got along conflict-free.

She's pretty smart. She's not gossipy or boy-crazy. She cleans. When we get along, we laugh a lot. But it's usually at the expense of my extra crazy roommate.
 

Andy

Supreme High Commander
Joined
Nov 16, 2009
Messages
1,211
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Sounds a little Si, but I'm hesitant to put an order on it.
 

Salomé

meh
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,527
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I was thinking along ISTJ lines too, but they tend to be less.....zany?
 

sofmarhof

New member
Joined
Apr 30, 2009
Messages
327
MBTI Type
INTP
What would it be helpful for me to specify on?

I've probably made her come off as more crazy than she actually is. When I said she likes to call herself a drunk and a drug addict, I meant in a sarcastic/self-deprecating humorous way. Not like, melodromatic crazy girl.

To strangers she comes across as very polite and meek. And then with her best friends she is super crude with sexual jokes/comments and groping/jumping on top of them.
 

sofmarhof

New member
Joined
Apr 30, 2009
Messages
327
MBTI Type
INTP
Si is supposed to come with good memory? She doesn't lose things, or forget to run errands, but she is always telling me stories that she's told me before.

I don't think she has much of a sense of loyalty, but I think I have an excessive desire for people to be loyal so I might not be the best judge.

She's obsessed with Nietzsche and Voltaire.

She doesn't show emotion. She says that when she was little, when she cried, her parents "beat" her. I think "beat" probably means "slapped", but it's hard to tell since anything about her childhood is related in this deadpan-flippant way. She hates when people cry in front of her.
 
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