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My enneagram?

Grace

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I am clueless on enneagram stuff. I've read up on it but I still can't seem to differentiate between the 9 different ones. I think I am either a 1, 5, or 6. Possibly a 9. I've gotten all of these four at different times. I know many INFJs are 4's but I haven't gotten that once although I've gotten 5w4 before. What are some ways that I can see which one is for me?
(I do know for sure that I am not 3, 7, or 8).
 
B

brainheart

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Well I don't know a whole lot but it seems like a lot of the people who feel like they are a bunch of things end up being 9s. Maybe you're a 9w1?
 

Ruthie

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First, forget the wings for now. A lot of times, people get caught up in a specific description of a wing type instead of just zeroing in on the core type and figuring out the wing later.

Other than that, where's your confusion coming from? Tell me what you see about yourself as fitting with the different types.
 

Grace

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Ok, this is what I see in myself for each type.

One: Although Ones have a strong sense of purpose, they also typically feel that they have to justify their actions to themselves, and often to others as well. This orientation causes Ones to spend a lot of time thinking about the consequences of their actions, as well as about how to keep from acting contrary to their convictions. Because of this, Ones often persuade themselves that they are “head” types, rationalists who proceed only on logic and objective truth. But, the real picture is somewhat different: Ones are actually activists who are searching for an acceptable rationale for what they feel they must do. They are people of instinct and passion who use convictions and judgments to control and direct themselves and their actions.

Four: Fours are willing to reveal highly personal and potentially shameful things about themselves because they are determined to understand the truth of their experience—so that they can discover who they are and come to terms with their emotional history. While it is true that Fours often feel different from others, they do not really want to be alone. They may feel socially awkward or self-conscious, but they deeply wish to connect with people who understand them and their feelings. The “romantics” of the Enneagram, they long for someone to come into their lives and appreciate the secret self that they have privately nurtured and hidden from the world.
Five: Fives feel that they do not have an ability to do things as well as others. But rather than engage directly with activities that might bolster their confidence, Fives “take a step back” into their minds where they feel more capable. Their belief is that from the safety of their minds they will eventually figure out how to do things—and one day rejoin the world. As they immerse themselves in their observations, they begin to internalize their knowledge and gain a feeling of self-confidence. When they get verification of their observations and hypotheses, or see that others understand their work, it is a confirmation of their competency, and this fulfills their Basic Desire.
Six: I have a fear of abandoment and loyalty is a huge thing with me.
Nine: To compensate for being out of touch with their instinctual energies, Nines also retreat into their minds and their emotional fantasies. Nines demonstrate the universal temptation to ignore the disturbing aspects of life and to seek some degree of peace and comfort by “numbing out.” They respond to pain and suffering by attempting to live in a state of premature peacefulness, whether it is in a state of false spiritual attainment, or in more gross denial. More than any other type, Nines demonstrate the tendency to run away from the paradoxes and tensions of life by attempting to transcend them or be seeking find simple and painless solutions to their problems.

Ok, based on the site that I just pulled this stuff from, I feel as though I identify most with 4, 5 or 9. I dunno. I think I can now safely throw out six, however, because I didn't really identify with most of it.
 
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brainheart

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Ok, based on the site that I just pulled this stuff from, I feel as though I identify most with 4, 5 or 9. I dunno. I think I can now safely throw out six, however, because I didn't really identify with most of it.

That's exactly how I am, too. :)
 

Grace

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Also, I think I read somewhere that the main difference between one and five are that one's do and five's think. If this is the case then I am a five (over one).
 

Ruthie

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5s and 9s frequently type as one another. When you're feeling down, are you more likely to feel apathetic or nihilistic?
 

Grace

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I guess it depends on the situation but probably moreso apathetic. I usually use apathy to console myself, I guess you could say.
 
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brainheart

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Sorry to cut in, Grace, but I'm trying to figure this out myself- so maybe we can do this together? I can feel nihilistic, but I would say apathy happens much more frequently. You could say that within me apathy is quite strong. My guess is that's nine, correct?

Wow, I read more and now I'm really thinking I'm a nine. I've always thought of myself as a 4w5, but that's what I think I wish I was vs what I am. Darn it.
 

Grace

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Sorry to cut in, Grace, but I'm trying to figure this out myself- so maybe we can do this together? I can feel nihilistic, but I would say apathy happens much more frequently. You could say that within me apathy is quite strong. My guess is that's nine, correct?

That's quite alright! We can share. :yes:

My guess is apathy would go with 9 as well. It seems like 9's avoid confrontation, yeah?
 

Grace

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What is the 9's basic fear?

(I ask this too lazy to open up google and look it up).
 

Grace

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Wow, I read more and now I'm really thinking I'm a nine. I've always thought of myself as a 4w5, but that's what I think I wish I was vs what I am. Darn it.

Really? IMO, 9's sound more appealing than 4's.
 

Ruthie

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Yup, that would be 9. When under a lot of stress, 9s get overloaded and look for a distraction. Many times, that distraction is an intellectual pursuit, which makes them think they are 5s. But with 5, there's a need to "figure something out," so the pursuit itself can become the source of stress rather than a distraction from it. 5s will keep peeling away layers and layers, until, in their lowest moments, they can feel that it's all about nothing. The 9 can use the same intellectual pursuit, but have little riding on it's outcome - since its purpose is to distract. Hence, the apathy.
 

Grace

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Nines also mistake themselves for Fours, but Nines tend to avoid negative emotions whereas Fours often exacerbate them. Intellectual Nines, especially males, frequently mistype as Fives, but Fives are intellectually contentious whereas Nines are conciliatory and conflict avoidant.


I just found this. Seems like it could be right for what I am doing.
 

Ruthie

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I actually relate a lot to descriptions of 9, and even though I'm pretty sure I'm a 6, I can't completely exclude 9 as a possibility.
 

Grace

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If I am a 9, the wing part is easy. Definitely 9w1 over 9w8.
 

Ruthie

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If I am a 9, the wing part is easy. Definitely 9w1 over 9w8.

You broke the rules! No wing typing until conclusive core typing! :)

Rule-breaker... to think you considered yourself a 1...
 
B

brainheart

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If I am a 9, the wing part is easy. Definitely 9w1 over 9w8.

Yeah, I would think that for me, too, based on this, especially:

Nines with a One wing tend to be more cerebral and imaginative than those with an Eight wing. They typically withdraw under stress more than those with an Eight wing. They sometimes find it difficult to ground themselves. They tend to lose focus and can get lost in worlds of their imagination. Nines with an Eight wing are overall more grounded and assertive. They tend also to be more sociable than those with a One wing. Nines with a One wing are more theoretical; those with an Eight wing more practical.

I wanted to be a 4w5 because all the artists and musicians I relate to seem to be that. But I've also had this constant, "why can't I motivate myself to do something awesome?" issue throughout my whole life. Nine makes a lot of sense, it just seems... blah. I love Marc Chagall and Emerson and Charles Schulz, though, and they are listed as nines. Anyway...

Just further verification that I'm a milquetoast...
 
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