Maybe typing myself as a child will help clarify matters. I've bolded the important stuff for people who cannot pay attention that long.
1. School: Up to the age of 8, I did not pay much attention. Of course, I followed the rules as long as they made sense, and I did not want to catch hell at home. I kind of chit-chatted with one or two friends.
After the age of 8, I saw school as a huge mental competition with others: Social interaction did not interest me. I wanted to see who was the most capable, and I put my best effort into getting the highest grades possible, which generally came naturally to me with the exception of math, which was always my nemesis. (I HATE MATH!)
With regard to learning, I was very structured. I did my homework every night (with little intermissions to act crazy and rejuvenate) and basically handed in my homework assignments on time.
However, I was often absent-minded and forgot my homework at home. (GAHHH!) In addition, I would forget to bring in signed report cards, permission slips, reports, etc. I did not want to upset anyone. I just forgot it.
Whenever we had tests, I was annoying and always asked, "What did you get? What did you get?" Of course, I pretended but the real reason was that I wanted to know if I had the best mark, and if I did not, I would berate myself and force myself to study harder next time. The one exception: MATH. Although I was unhappy that I hovered around the B/C range, I knew there was no point in investing more time. If I did not get the highest grade in LANGUAGES, I would berate myself til the cows came home.
2. People/expression: Until the age of 8, I had 2-4 friends I always hung out with. After that, I became a hermit until the age of 20 or so. Weird.
Anyway, I was extremely nervous and shy around others. In class, I hardly spoke above a whisper in high school. Often my teachers got annoyed and asked me to speak louder. It was kind of weird, but I was so afraid of making a mistake that I only wanted the teacher and I to hear it if I did. Usually I was right, though, which was the ironic thing.
The one exception: Debates. During debates about things I enjoyed, I became loud and passionate, which would shock the HELL out of my teachers and classmates. It was as if they thought, "Holy crap, she does have a voice." Some were so shocked that they came and told me so afterwards, although these same people usually pretended that I did not exist. I would research a great deal, prepare myself with copious notes, went over them in my head, and destroyed the opposition. I loved taking the side that had the least support because it held the greatest challenge, and allowed me to sort of take control. Great example: Debate Gore v. Perot 1993 (or 1994, something like that) about NAFTA. 95% of the class was in favor of Gore. I was not - only I and one other student. So we were a powerhouse, as the other person was also very bright. We shook the other side to its foundations and in the space of 20 minutes convinced 2 others that we were right!!!
Other exception: Public speaking/acting. When I was prepared and spoke publicly, I did so with a great deal of passion and enthusiasm. It also shocked people, as this was not my normal tendency. Lectoring, drama, etc. were very interesting for me as an outlet for expression.
Family: Get-togethers. Ewww. A bunch of adults talking about lots of stuff, and I'm the only child. So they look at you as a child. I hate that. So I had to adapt into an adult in my expression so that people would take me seriously. It shocked my peers that I had such a command of language and vocabulary.
While interacting with some people in a teenage group at the age of 12, I confided that I felt like an 'alien', and that I could not relate to anyone, and I would really like people to explain WHY that is. Some older teenagers said, "Well, you're weird. You're, like, really smart, and you use vocabulary we do not understand. And you're 12. It's just....weird....You don't do anything normal kids and teenagers like, so there's nothing in common to talk to you about. You don't like dating. You don't like clothes. You don't like cars. You don't watch TV, listen to real music, or watch movies. You just read weird books, knit, and talk about weird stuff. It's like you're 80 or something - like you come from another time. And then, whenever you realize that, you get haughty and arrogant, and you're just not approachable." I never forgot that. It made me feel strange and ashamed.
3. Dating: I did not have anything to do with guys until I was 20 years old. I had no interest, and I did not want to be 'distracted from more important things.' I was cold, off-putting, and flat-out rejected guys who asked me out, even if I was attracted to them. I never admitted it if I was attracted to someone because that would be admitting weakness. Many people thought I was asexual during my pre-teen and teenage years, although I had a bunch of passion boiling inside, I kept it under tight control. My first kiss was at 19 or 20, so you can imagine I did not do anything else in that direction either.
4. Values: Since I grew up in a lower-middle class, strict Irish Roman Catholic family comprising of my grandparents (EXFJ and XNTP) and my aunt (INFP) and no siblings, I was raised with STRICT RELIGIOUS values. I was pretty much the only one of my generation in the family. My grandmother drilled me on how to react to people who screwed around with my values, to which I rolled my eyes at the time. My grandfather usually came up with crude phrases like, "Don't let a man use you as his garbage can," to which I would respond, "Ewwww!" If I swore, I was dead. So I did not swear AT ALL until I was around 20 or so. In fact, one dude asked me, "Would you swear if I gave you a dollar," to which I looked haughty, held my head up high, and said, "What do you hold me for, anyway??? There are more important things than money," to which he responded, "Eh, what about 10?" I got up indignantly and went away. I hated people who went to a CATHOLIC school and did not even know how church went "Dumb asses." or did not know the hymns "Idiots!"
Another thing I couldn't stand was an idiot. People who did not remember what we did from one class to another confounded me. People who could not make connections between classes and subjects confounded me as well.
On the other hand, I had a great deal of understanding for people who wanted to get it but couldn't. I often chocked that up to bad teaching and helped anyone who genuinely wanted to learn. But first I always asked, "Do you WANT to do this? We will have to invest a lot of time and effort, so I am happy to work with you if you WANT this. If not, there is no point." (Not always so direct, but you get the point).
I couldn't stand sexually promiscuous people - they disgusted me. These flamboyant types who always partied and went to clubs and had sex all the time with guys and talked about their experiences. BLEH. The one exception: If people needed to talk to someone, I was more understanding. That was because I figured they are going through a rough time and need someone. But people who just bragged about such things were nil in my book.
Materialistic types also pissed me off. These long nails for $100 dollars. Expensive, fast cars. Sports. Sex. Drugs. Rock 'n' roll. What was the point?
5. Interests: Huge interest number 1: Reading. I loved reading. Ramona was a big favorite as a little girl. Before I went to bed as a really young girl, I wanted a story read to me. If someone skipped a page or made a mistake, I promptly corrected him/her. I learned reading quickly, although I was very bad at inference and spitting back what I read on command when I did not choose the reading myself. I could, but I did not always focus well enough. That took a lot of effort on my part unless I CHOSE what I wanted to read. Then I retained everything, but I had to have a vested interest, or screw it.
Once I turned 12-13, my reading interests matured into language books, where I started avidly teaching myself different languages (I realized later that I got this from my maternal grandfather who did the same thing despite his 8th grade education), religious books (books by St. Augustine, Brother Lawrence, St. Theresa of Avila, St. Theresa aka 'The Little Flower of Jesus', etc. were always lying around), as well as more philosophical/religious books on contemplation, sacrifice, etc. I remember being around 10 or 12 and reading a 500 page book on St. John (can't remember the name) and I always begged my family "Just one more page. Just one more minute." LOL
Later on 12-19, I gave up religious reading and focused more on my core interests, history, language, and politics. (This was also in my early teenage years).
I was not a big fan of movies, as I found it very hard to focus on plot and things when I was watching movies. I could not follow the plot. It was weird. Like I needed a plot summary every once in a while to follow. So I did not like it as much. Some exceptions: Star Trek series, Waltons and Zorro, which I watched with my grandfather. My grandmother would spy on us every now and again to make sure the content was okay (GAHHH!) Besides my family would always say, "Would you rather we bought you 3 books or we went to see one movie?" No contest.
WWII was always a beloved subject, which my poor EXFJ grandmother could not understand. "Why do you always read war books? Can't you read something a little bit more uplifting? "Eh, I like them."
Knitting, crocheting, embroidery, etc. was always a cool pasttime. I made a blanket for my cat, which she LOVED hahaha. I made 19th century costumes for dolls.
LOVED public speaking and drama - it was an outlet for a lot of built up energy, passion, and feeling that I did not allow myself to express. A lot of times my throat would hurt afterwards because I was not USED to speaking like that (that much, that loud, etc.) But my passion was convincing. I spoke to an audience to earn money for our school, and they had the highest return that year. I loved lectoring at church. I started when I was 12 or so... at the kid's mass. Later I did it at the adult's mass. Loved it. Couldn't stand people who did not know how to do it RIGHT. DAMN IT DO IT RIGHT, I always thought. *alert buzzer* Wrong intonation *alert buzzer* Speaking too fast and not clearly *alert buzzer* What the hell are you trying to say? lol
I won a lot of public speaking and poetry contests.
Sports was always a no-go for me. I was totally uncoordinated, afraid of the ball (yeah, I was one of those annoying girls who would put her hand up in front of her face when the ball came too close). It did not help that I had zero depth-perception or spatial skills AND could not react well to sudden things, like flying balls. I always thought, "Can't you all play and let me grab my book and sit on the rock over there. Really! I don't mind." All this exercise bull....gah! I couldn't do it anyway. Why show my ineptitude for all to see...Have fun, have a blast, and let me have fun in my own way. Dumb asses.
Cross-country skiing was one exception. I could do it alone; it did not require a lot of coordination as compared with other sports, and if I fell, no one cared; and it was slow enough to allow me to get the hang of it, enjoy nature, and just let me be.
Irish dancing was another exception. You only had to coordinate your legs. I could handle that. And it was fun, not SPORTS or EXERCISE. And I didn't have to associate with people that much. I could concentrate on my thing. That was good. I liked it before it was popular - and most people thought it was 'strange.' Cool kids danced jazz, tap, and ballet - not IRISH DANCING.
I'm sure there's more, but you get the picture. Feel free to ask if anything is unclear or if you need (more???) information.
Everything happens at the right place at the right time. Trust me.
.
This seems to me like putting too much credit to the function theories (which can very well be flawed) and ignoring the simple facts. If one's childhood is very organized, it might be very much due to upbringing and education; I was definitely more Te when I was little, because my INTJ mum used to be very demanding towards me, which subsequently rubbed on me as well because I didn't want to disappoint her - and myself. Actually, until I was about 10-11, besides dwelling in my little fantasy world I also used to be very bossy and arrogant, much more productive and ambitious than later, I loved making detailed lists of anything and big projects concerning my little gang of friends
