Is he an ISFP and an ISTP?

[HappyHeart]

I'm an ENFP (but have been ENFJ in the past) and I've been dating someone for about a month who I think is probably an ISFP, but he might be an ISTP with a decently developed feeling side. Can anyone help me figure it out?

He is reserved and gentle but very athletic and competitive. He gets pretty frustrated with himself when he doesn't do something well or he says something goofy. I think this is so cute and try to encourage him to not beat himself up so much. He's really into sports (all of them), which is not so much my thing. We definitely have common ground in our love of music though. He's an engineer and in his late 20s and hasn't had very many relationships and has never really been in love. This is definitely something difficult for me to relate to because I've made relationships a priority in my life. But he seems to be at an age where he realizes he's been missing out on some things. I know that he's had plently of crushes over the years, likely on women that don't appreciate him as a person or are out of his league. This concerns me for our future because I'm attractive, but definitely not the standard of physical perfection to which I think he has been aspiring to all of these years (but that's a different conversation). Anyway, he's also keenly aware of everything going on around him, although you wouldn't know it to look at him. Oh, and he likes to cook/grill and have fun.

As far as our interaction is concerned, he is attentive, responsive and reliable. We like to analyze things and hang out and time just seems to fly when we're together. We have a solid emotional connection. And after I see him, I feel good and energized. Sometimes our conversations get a little awkward but we always seem to reach mutual understanding. He always seems to find a simple way to sum up something that I would describe in a more complex manner. He makes things clear to me and he told me the other day that I "make a lot of things make sense." So, I think we're good for each other in this way.

What do you think - ISTP or ISFP?

 

[JustHer]

Sounds like an ISTP to me to

 

[sLiPpY]

hmm...I generally don't care if I don't do something well. Just competative within myself vs. comparing performance to others. Saying something goofy? Heck most ISTP's I know do that intentionally and turn it into a game.

However there is no "cookie cutter" as to type, just commonality.

 

[Heinel]

You're doing great if you brought out the F in a T person. Good luck

 

[SillySapienne]

Sacrebleu!!!

How can one possibly confuse these types?!?!?

 

[HappyHeart]

Thanks everyone for your feedback. SillySapienne - I can usually figure someone's type out, but I think it is more difficult with super reserved people, especially when you're getting to know them in a romantic context. He might just be showing me more of his emotionality because he's into me. Then again, he could be more of an F by nature. It's just hard to tell...he's just not an open book.

 

[SillySapienne]

The T/F dichotomy is expressed must accesibly/readily via the eyes.

What do his eyes say/express.

A thought:

It's interesting when T eyes go F, and when F eyes go T.

 

[HappyHeart]

His eyes are definitely F when we're close and I guess they're more T when we're not. But it's tough to say because he's such a guy's guy that I think that even if he were predominantly an F, he would be more inclined to show his T side to the world. Whatever he is, he's special -- guess that's all that matters.

 

[SillySapienne]

Whatever he is, he's special -- guess that's all that matters.

 

[jixmixfix]

The T/F dichotomy is expressed must accesibly/readily via the eyes.

What do his eyes say/express.

A thought:

It's interesting when T eyes go F, and when F eyes go T.

How can you tell if someone has T eyes or F eyes?

 

[SillySapienne]

F eyes absorb and transmit, T eyes absorb and omit.

 

[jixmixfix]

F eyes absorb and transmit, T eyes absorb and omit.

you mean T people would basically have less emotional reactions?

 

[SillySapienne]

you mean T people would basically have less emotional reactions?

Pretty much, yep.

 

[Heinel]

So can the transmit thing be learned? I think I need it.

 

[jixmixfix]

Pretty much, yep.

I would say i'm more stoic and less emotional...but i do react to something when i see it emotionally for example when someone makes me laugh, or or something is on my mind I'll smile.

 

[SillySapienne]

So can the transmit thing be learned? I think I need it.

I think if you let yourself let go of your Ti, and allow yourself to truly be in the moment, yeah, your eyes will transmit more.

 

[SillySapienne]

I would say i'm more stoic and less emotional...but i do react to something when i see it emotionally for example when someone makes me laugh, or or something is on my mind I'll smile.

Well, y'all still have blood pumping through your veins.

You have feewings, too, they're just harder to get at and ascertain.

 

[HappyHeart]

jixmixfix - You've almost got me convinced that my guy is an ISTP because I can see his F side most when we're physically close and when he's laughing with me or someone else.

I like what was said about F eyes transmitting and T eyes omitting. I would also add that F eyes seem to be "softer" than T eyes, if that makes any sense. Perhaps because the person is feeling open and connected at that moment - there's just a softness to that.

 

[SillySapienne]

jixmixfix - You've almost got me convinced that my guy is an ISTP because I can see his F side most when we're physically close and when he's laughing with me or someone else.

Have you yet to get one angry/mad...

:horor:

I would also add that F eyes seem to be "softer" than T eyes, if that makes any sense. Perhaps because the person is feeling open and connected at that moment - there's just a softness to that.

Fo sho!

 

[jixmixfix]

jixmixfix - You've almost got me convinced that my guy is an ISTP because I can see his F side most when we're physically close and when he's laughing with me or someone else.

I like what was said about F eyes transmitting and T eyes omitting. I would also add that F eyes seem to be "softer" than T eyes, if that makes any sense. Perhaps because the person is feeling open and connected at that moment - there's just a softness to that.

Well don't get the impression that T's are robots and F's are sensitive. Although that is a stereotype I can tell you that I am an emotional person I mainly make my decisions on a logical basis sometimes impulsive . Also I usually don't react emotionally to the external before I think things through.