Is he an INFJ?

[paperoceans]

I'm really bad at describing people, so please bear with me... This is a German friend who I met while I lived in Austria (if that is useful )

I am not sure whether he is an I or an E. But one thing that I know about him is that he values family life. It seems that he only spends time with his family members, whether it's traveling two hours to be with them on the weekend or going to concerts with them. He is not secretive about his them either and can be a bit judgmental. He openly shares with me his frustrations and dreams, but does seem to get a bit aggressive with other males and authority.

He remembers every single detail that I tell him. It's actually a bit odd. Something that I told him several months ago, he would bring it up again. And once again, he doesn't seem to be ashamed of his feelings and surprisingly, doesn't get frustrated when I don't express myself emotionally. So I am assuming maybe an FJ? He works as an architect and models boats or ships (I think... Ahaha). He doesn't talk much about his job, but tells me he often feels underappreciated.

He's really big into music, plays the guitar, etc. He seems a bit embarrassed by his musical talent (even though it is very good), but he's not afraid to play things for me. I really do not think that he is shy at all, just reserved.

IDK what else to add

 

[Lauren Ashley]

Not enough info, but I'm leaning towards SFJ.

 

[BlackCat]

Not enough info, but I'm leaning towards SFJ.

I agree.

 

[paperoceans]

I agree.

Wow... What else should I add? I'm new at this

 

[incubustribute]

Wow... What else should I add? I'm new at this

Well, I'm leaning towards ISFJ; he sounds an awful lot like me. But it's EXTREMELY common to have difficulty in figuring out E vs. I. The reason for this is the functions. We all have primary and auxiliary functions based on the letters. So an ISFJ would use Si primarily, and would use Fe secondarily.

"He remembers every single detail I tell him"

Very Si. Introverted sensing is concerned with perception of the inner world based on concrete sensual observation.

"He openly shares with me his frustrations and dreams,..."

Very Fe. Extroverted Feeling is concerned with judging and organizing the outer world using emotion based decision making. Fe users are very likely to tell you all day long about how they feel about something, or why something bothers them or makes them happy.

ISFJ also carries a "play it safe/be traditional" connotation with it, hence the sticking with family. Although, like you said, you're not sure about I vs. E. If he's ESFJ, he uses the same two functions, except Fe is dominant and Si is auxiliary (secondary). ESFJ tends to micro-manage everything around them, and then stand by and observe the results in a concrete manner. ISFJ tends to make observations first and perceive their inner world in detail, and then expound that outward in an emotional manner.

Ask yourself whether he tends to use Fe first, or if he tends to use Si first. If he's the type to perceive, THEN make decisions, he's (most likely) ISFJ. If he prefers to judge or make decisions first, THEN see what happens and re-evaluate, he's (most likely) ESFJ. I'm only saying this because I'm also like 99.insertarbitrarynumberofnineshere % sure that he is xSFJ.

Let me know what you think (and if I explained this well).

 

[Argus]

ISFJ.


And I read only the OP before I came to that compulsion.

 

[BlackCat]

Wow... What else should I add? I'm new at this

And don't despair just because he's your opposite. This is a theory. Not reality. In reality if you like him, enjoy your time with him, and you both just generally like each other then go for it. There is no issue.

Get to know people and get in relationships first, THEN apply type. Doing it the other way around defeats the purpose.

 

[incubustribute]

And don't despair just because he's your opposite. This is a theory. Not reality. In reality if you like him, enjoy your time with him, and you both just generally like each other then go for it. There is no issue.

Get to know people and get in relationships first, THEN apply type. Doing it the other way around defeats the purpose.

Couldn't agree more. I think it's fair to say it's pretty unethical to use a personality typing system to convince yourself either for or against dating someone before you get to know them that well. Any type can work with any type. There's some that are more likely than others, but remember - love conquers all.

 

[simulatedworld]

Well, I'm leaning towards ISFJ; he sounds an awful lot like me. But it's EXTREMELY common to have difficulty in figuring out E vs. I. The reason for this is the functions. We all have primary and auxiliary functions based on the letters. So an ISFJ would use Si primarily, and would use Fe secondarily.

"He remembers every single detail I tell him"

Very Si. Introverted sensing is concerned with perception of the inner world based on concrete sensual observation.

"He openly shares with me his frustrations and dreams,..."

Very Fe. Extroverted Feeling is concerned with judging and organizing the outer world using emotion based decision making. Fe users are very likely to tell you all day long about how they feel about something, or why something bothers them or makes them happy.

ISFJ also carries a "play it safe/be traditional" connotation with it, hence the sticking with family. Although, like you said, you're not sure about I vs. E. If he's ESFJ, he uses the same two functions, except Fe is dominant and Si is auxiliary (secondary). ESFJ tends to micro-manage everything around them, and then stand by and observe the results in a concrete manner. ISFJ tends to make observations first and perceive their inner world in detail, and then expound that outward in an emotional manner.

Ask yourself whether he tends to use Fe first, or if he tends to use Si first. If he's the type to perceive, THEN make decisions, he's (most likely) ISFJ. If he prefers to judge or make decisions first, THEN see what happens and re-evaluate, he's (most likely) ESFJ. I'm only saying this because I'm also like 99.insertarbitrarynumberofnineshere % sure that he is xSFJ.

Let me know what you think (and if I explained this well).

Yes I agree with ISFJ. Good analysis.

 

[incubustribute]

Yes I agree with ISFJ. Good analysis.

Thanks simulatedworld! I feel like I know you from somewhere...eh, I must be crazy.

 

[entropie]

You have to be careful with typing Germans, the attitude of being very reserved and traditional is something we learnt from youth.

Doesnt make us automatically SJs tho.

 

[incubustribute]

You have to be careful with typing Germans, the attitude of being very reserved and traditional is something we learnt from youth.

Doesnt make us automatically SJs tho.

Interesting take...never thought about that. I think your more pronounced preference will come out one way or the other once you get out on your own though. Parents have a tendency to stifle certain traits while growing up in order to keep us in line.

 

[entropie]

Yap, my parents got eaten and the house burnt down when I became 5 years old. Police reports claimed that only a young boy survived the "accident".

It's a lonely country...

 

[Ginkgo]

I agree on ISFJ, but according to the context of what you are writing, he could be something else.

But what do I know? I enjoy the smell of wet dogs.