• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

A Girl I Know, INTP or INTJ?

Orangey

Blah
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
6,354
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
6w5
I know I've started a few of these "type this person I know" style threads lately, so I promise this will be the last one I do for a while. Anyway, my particular subject for this thread is a 23 year old woman that I know from school. We are very good friends, and I have a suspicion as to what her type is, but I'd like to see what anyone else thinks.

Some things I've observed (this is split into sections to ease reading):
  • She is very introverted. Hardly talks to people in a general setting. Reticent.
  • Can open up in a private setting with friends, though at times will still seem somewhat distant. She gets this glazed-over look in her eyes, and I know she's off somewhere else.
  • A bit blunt. Will usually say what she means, especially with people she doesn't know/like.
  • Dresses precisely, though usually in plain black/dark blue (and either no make-up or very little). Her wardrobe consists of the same style shirts/pants/jeans repeated, only some of them are different colors (though she rarely ventures into pastels). She is a fan of leather boots.
  • Others think she is cold/aloof and weird. They don't like her.
  • If you approach her, though, she is almost always personable. Has basic courtesy.
  • Has this thing where she only addresses one person at a time when speaking. A conversation may be going on between four or more people at the same time, but when she decides to participate, she directly addresses the person to whom her comment is most closely related.
  • She is shy and gets anxious before speaking. It seems like she takes a while to prepare what she's going to say, and when she says it, she does so quickly and efficiently. She doesn't like to expound afterwards. And if she is not prepared but has to speak anyway, she turns into a babbler. I can tell she is ashamed when this happens.
  • If it gets too bad, like it did during one of her class presentations, she just stops and says that she has nothing further to say. She is embarassed, but she doesn't let it affect her personally. She'll quickly laugh it off, or make a joke about how bad her presentation was, but it seems like she broods on it later anyway.


  • She can get irritable and snappy. Grumbling under her breath, it seems like anger is lurking closely under the surface.
  • She does not express enthusiasm. One of our fellow students mentioned that she had the lowest energy of anyone he'd ever known.
  • She seems unscheduled and spontaneous at times, wakes up late generally, and has a tendency to be late to class, but her car and apartment are very neatly and efficiently arranged. Very Spartan, little decoration.
  • Her humor is a mixed bag. In most formal situations (such as class) she is stone-faced and humorless. Many people comment on how she rarely laughs or smiles (or shows any emotion at all). But in more private settings, or at least with fewer people, she will let loose her odd brand of humor.
  • This involves laughing at people in the street, sneering at something stupid that someone said, or making morbid "so and so needs to be killed" jokes. She also has a cat that she has fun verbally abusing ("aww, what a little moron you are"). She doesn't seem to appreciate less "edgy" humor, or anything predictable.
  • She says she doesn't care if half of the people we work with hate her, but she is very fearful of looking stupid. She is more concerned with being perceived as smart and competent than with people personally liking her.
  • She never answers her phone. And is inconsistent returning emails.
  • Is a sensitive person, despite the bravado. This is betrayed by her nearly constant self-deprecation.


  • She does this weird thing where she pretends to still be thinking about a decision even though she has fully decided in her mind on what she's going to do. For instance, I'll ask her "what are you going to take in the fall?" and she answers, "I'm still thinking about it, but I might take such and such or such and such." This seems like she's open to suggestions, but when I answer that she should take this or that class, a lot of the time she responds by listing all of the reasons why that would be a terrible choice. To the point that I know she has already decided on something and is just feigning openness, for whatever reason.
  • For a while, she really wanted to be an artist. The idea of it intrigued her, and she is generally a great admirer of art. But when it came to her own stuff, I found that she always tended to get overly caught up in the planning stage (planning out the perfect idea or something symbolic), or focused too much on technique. She also mentioned how it was difficult for her to follow through with details enough to make a realistic style painting.
  • She is really open to different concepts and lifestyles, but she tends not to be too open when it comes to listening to others. She generally assumes that the other person is wrong or stupid, and when she feels comfortable enough to express this, it comes out as her being very critical and skeptical.
  • She is stubborn, and her parents describe her as "contrary" like it was the defining basis of her personality.
  • She can read people well, though this doesn't lead to empathizing. Although, to be fair, she does empathize with her close friends and family when she feels like it. But even in those cases, it doesn't amount to any outward action. It's usually a verbal defense of the person against a criticism, or a disgust with the cause of the other person's trouble.

Okay, I think this is enough. What do you think? My original thoughts were pointing towards INTJ, but she seems too disorganized and scattered at times to be one. But she is not as playful as many INTPs I know, and doesn't have that "in the moment" wit that they (well, we) are so famous for. So I don't know...
 
Last edited:

Orangey

Blah
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
6,354
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
6w5

You think so? What about the lateness and scattered behavior? I've seen the way she organizes her work...it starts off good, but she loses interest and things get messy (and she doesn't care). She doesn't have daily routines or anything like that, and I'll be damned if I ever see her with a list.
 

Thursday

Earth Exalted
Joined
Mar 14, 2008
Messages
3,960
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
You think so? What about the lateness and scattered behavior? I've seen the way she organizes her work...it starts off good, but she loses interest and things get messy (and she doesn't care). She doesn't have daily routines or anything like that, and I'll be damned if I ever see her with a list.

Have you ever seen her lash out like raising her voice or throwing something ?
 

Orangey

Blah
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
6,354
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
6w5
Have you ever seen her lash out like raising her voice or throwing something ?

When I finally saw her in her family setting, yes, but even then it only happened a couple of times. Before that, never. Well, there are always these little times that she gets irritated and grits her teeth like it's very difficult to hold back the anger. She did it to one of her students- he was being obstinate and insubordinate, and she burst out (not loudly, but curtly) in an irritated, quick, extremely sarcastic remark.

Oh, and when driving, she can get really nasty. She says and does all sorts of aggressive things to other drivers (though admittedly, it's usually always deserved.)
 

Economica

Dhampyr
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
2,054
MBTI Type
INTJ
INTJ. The social ineptitude coupled with arrogance, the purposefulness, the babbling... INXJs can be haphazard in daily routines (late, scattered, etc.) and can lack follow-through on projects. Assuming your description is accurate (points for describing her behavior in such concrete detail!), I'd put good money on INTJ. A terribly unhappy INTJ, incidentally. :sad:

Oh, and this is something I always wonder about when I read these typing threads: Have you considered, you know, asking her? :rolleyes:
 

Thursday

Earth Exalted
Joined
Mar 14, 2008
Messages
3,960
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
When I finally saw her in her family setting, yes, but even then it only happened a couple of times. Before that, never. Well, there are always these little times that she gets irritated and grits her teeth like it's very difficult to hold back the anger. She did it to one of her students- he was being obstinate and insubordinate, and she burst out (not loudly, but curtly) in an irritated, quick, extremely sarcastic remark.

Oh, and when driving, she can get really nasty. She says and does all sorts of aggressive things to other drivers (though admittedly, it's usually always deserved.)

INTJ
 

Orangey

Blah
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
6,354
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
6w5
INTJ. The social ineptitude coupled with arrogance, the purposefulness, the babbling... Assuming your description is accurate (points for describing her behavior in such concrete detail!), I'd put good money on INTJ.

Thanks for the input :). The stuff in the description consists of her most obvious traits, and I've even discusses some of these with mutual friends (who agreed). So I think they're pretty accurate.

About her arrogance...the thing is, while she is generally contrary and can be stubborn, she also has an undercurrent of self-doubt. She has to be absolutely sure about what she's saying before she says it or argues about it, so she rarely seems wrong. But when she is, she is deeply ashamed about it. She hates to be wrong, or to look like she doesn't know what she's talking about. Is that more INTJ or INTP, do you think?

Oh, and Thursday, thanks also for your input!
 

Thursday

Earth Exalted
Joined
Mar 14, 2008
Messages
3,960
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
The more you utter, the more INTJ she gets.
 

Economica

Dhampyr
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
2,054
MBTI Type
INTJ
About her arrogance...the thing is, while she is generally contrary and can be stubborn, she also has an undercurrent of self-doubt. She has to be absolutely sure about what she's saying before she says it or argues about it, so she rarely seems wrong. But when she is, she is deeply ashamed about it. She hates to be wrong, or to look like she doesn't know what she's talking about. Is that more INTJ or INTP, do you think?

It's INTJ all the way. :yes: See my post about INTJ vulnerability here.
 

Usehername

On a mission
Joined
May 30, 2007
Messages
3,794
  • She does this weird thing where she pretends to still be thinking about a decision even though she has fully decided in her mind on what she's going to do. For instance, I'll ask her "what are you going to take in the fall?" and she answers, "I'm still thinking about it, but I might take such and such or such and such." This seems like she's open to suggestions, but when I answer that she should take this or that class, a lot of the time she responds by listing all of the reasons why that would be a terrible choice. To the point that I know she has already decided on something and is just feigning openness, for whatever reason.


  • INTJ.

    I think what she's doing in the above quote is just the INxJ having looked at everything from every angle out of a necessity to feel settled...
    She sees so many + and - for each side that she knows she might change her mind with new information.

    I've noticed from another INTJ that regardless of what positive side you bring up, they'll counter that with the negative of that opinion. It's not intentional, I don't think it's a game with her. She probably just wants to highlight things evenly, unconsciously. I notice I do this as well, and I have to make an effort to not bring up the negatives to balance positive "what if" scenarios.
 

pippi

New member
Joined
Sep 6, 2008
Messages
735
MBTI Type
xxxx
You think so? What about the lateness and scattered behavior? I've seen the way she organizes her work...it starts off good, but she loses interest and things get messy (and she doesn't care). She doesn't have daily routines or anything like that, and I'll be damned if I ever see her with a list.

I was late for work every day for two years when I hated my boss. I never make lists and hate daily routines. INTJs have external structure (Te) but internally we are scattered and disorganized (Ni).

I wouldn't rule out ISTJ from your description, but nothing you wrote sounded like Ne so INTP is probably out.
 

Orangey

Blah
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
6,354
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
6w5
Oh, and this is something I always wonder about when I read these typing threads: Have you considered, you know, asking her? :rolleyes:

I have. She says that she tested as an INTP when she took it in college, which was part of the reason that I wondered whether she was INTP or INTJ.

It's INTJ all the way. :yes: See my post about INTJ vulnerability here.

Thanks for the link. She does resemble the behavior you describe, especially with her parents. For instance, they always tease her about stuff like, "remember that one time you said or did this ridiculous thing? Haha!" And she gets visibly irritated and usually sneers and walks away or changes the subject. Or says something nasty back. She's not that touchy with me or our other friends, though. When she's wrong around us, she'll usually admit it in a graceful manner, and then identify where she went wrong and why.

INTJ.

I think what she's doing in the above quote is just the INxJ having looked at everything from every angle out of a necessity to feel settled...
She sees so many + and - for each side that she knows she might change her mind with new information.

I've noticed from another INTJ that regardless of what positive side you bring up, they'll counter that with the negative of that opinion. It's not intentional, I don't think it's a game with her. She probably just wants to highlight things evenly, unconsciously. I notice I do this as well, and I have to make an effort to not bring up the negatives to balance positive "what if" scenarios.

You're right, this is probably what she is doing. I should've known since I do something similar, but don't usually express it externally.

I was late for work every day for two years when I hated my boss. I never make lists and hate daily routines. INTJs have external structure (Te) but internally we are scattered and disorganized (Ni).

I wouldn't rule out ISTJ from your description, but nothing you wrote sounded like Ne so INTP is probably out.

Eh, I think the disorganization is why she tests P. But if you insist that these are not signs of being an NP, then I guess I have no more reservations about her being an INTJ. And the reason I don't think ISTJ is because she is bent on breaking and bending all of the rules in the department (well, at least she says so). I didn't think an ISTJ would really be that interested in rebelling.
 

Wiley45

New member
Joined
Mar 3, 2009
Messages
669
MBTI Type
INFP
I'm kinda laughing here, because I was going to post a question about this really cool girl I know, and your OP description of your friend is almost identical to what mine would be! I guess I got my question answered too. Weird. :D
 

INTPatricia

New member
Joined
Jun 7, 2009
Messages
65
MBTI Type
intj
I know I've started a few of these "type this person I know" style threads lately, so I promise this will be the last one I do for a while. Anyway, my particular subject for this thread is a 23 year old woman that I know from school. We are very good friends, and I have a suspicion as to what her type is, but I'd like to see what anyone else thinks.

Some things I've observed (this is split into sections to ease reading):
  • She is very introverted. Hardly talks to people in a general setting. Reticent.
  • Can open up in a private setting with friends, though at times will still seem somewhat distant. She gets this glazed-over look in her eyes, and I know she's off somewhere else.
  • A bit blunt. Will usually say what she means, especially with people she doesn't know/like.
  • Dresses precisely, though usually in plain black/dark blue (and either no make-up or very little). Her wardrobe consists of the same style shirts/pants/jeans repeated, only some of them are different colors (though she rarely ventures into pastels). She is a fan of leather boots.
  • Others think she is cold/aloof and weird. They don't like her.
  • If you approach her, though, she is almost always personable. Has basic courtesy.
  • Has this thing where she only addresses one person at a time when speaking. A conversation may be going on between four or more people at the same time, but when she decides to participate, she directly addresses the person to whom her comment is most closely related.
  • She is shy and gets anxious before speaking. It seems like she takes a while to prepare what she's going to say, and when she says it, she does so quickly and efficiently. She doesn't like to expound afterwards. And if she is not prepared but has to speak anyway, she turns into a babbler. I can tell she is ashamed when this happens.
  • If it gets too bad, like it did during one of her class presentations, she just stops and says that she has nothing further to say. She is embarassed, but she doesn't let it affect her personally. She'll quickly laugh it off, or make a joke about how bad her presentation was, but it seems like she broods on it later anyway.


  • She can get irritable and snappy. Grumbling under her breath, it seems like anger is lurking closely under the surface.
  • She does not express enthusiasm. One of our fellow students mentioned that she had the lowest energy of anyone he'd ever known.
  • She seems unscheduled and spontaneous at times, wakes up late generally, and has a tendency to be late to class, but her car and apartment are very neatly and efficiently arranged. Very Spartan, little decoration.
  • Her humor is a mixed bag. In most formal situations (such as class) she is stone-faced and humorless. Many people comment on how she rarely laughs or smiles (or shows any emotion at all). But in more private settings, or at least with fewer people, she will let loose her odd brand of humor.
  • This involves laughing at people in the street, sneering at something stupid that someone said, or making morbid "so and so needs to be killed" jokes. She also has a cat that she has fun verbally abusing ("aww, what a little moron you are"). She doesn't seem to appreciate less "edgy" humor, or anything predictable.
  • She says she doesn't care if half of the people we work with hate her, but she is very fearful of looking stupid. She is more concerned with being perceived as smart and competent than with people personally liking her.
  • She never answers her phone. And is inconsistent returning emails.
  • Is a sensitive person, despite the bravado. This is betrayed by her nearly constant self-deprecation.


  • She does this weird thing where she pretends to still be thinking about a decision even though she has fully decided in her mind on what she's going to do. For instance, I'll ask her "what are you going to take in the fall?" and she answers, "I'm still thinking about it, but I might take such and such or such and such." This seems like she's open to suggestions, but when I answer that she should take this or that class, a lot of the time she responds by listing all of the reasons why that would be a terrible choice. To the point that I know she has already decided on something and is just feigning openness, for whatever reason.
  • For a while, she really wanted to be an artist. The idea of it intrigued her, and she is generally a great admirer of art. But when it came to her own stuff, I found that she always tended to get overly caught up in the planning stage (planning out the perfect idea or something symbolic), or focused too much on technique. She also mentioned how it was difficult for her to follow through with details enough to make a realistic style painting.
  • She is really open to different concepts and lifestyles, but she tends not to be too open when it comes to listening to others. She generally assumes that the other person is wrong or stupid, and when she feels comfortable enough to express this, it comes out as her being very critical and skeptical.
  • She is stubborn, and her parents describe her as "contrary" like it was the defining basis of her personality.
  • She can read people well, though this doesn't lead to empathizing. Although, to be fair, she does empathize with her close friends and family when she feels like it. But even in those cases, it doesn't amount to any outward action. It's usually a verbal defense of the person against a criticism, or a disgust with the cause of the other person's trouble.

Okay, I think this is enough. What do you think? My original thoughts were pointing towards INTJ, but she seems too disorganized and scattered at times to be one. But she is not as playful as many INTPs I know, and doesn't have that "in the moment" wit that they (well, we) are so famous for. So I don't know...


not an intp...she cares what people think, sounds competitive, stubborn, decisive. don't forget that introverts and intuitives are disorganized in their outer world but are organized internally with ideas. i don't pick up my phone either...that is an IXTX thing, I think: as introverted thinkers, we reject the interruption and don't care about the other persons feelings over our own.

okay...my two cents.
 

Salomé

meh
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,527
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I wouldn't rule out INTP. Quite a lot of that sounds like me. Ne isn't always visible to others. I take it from the way you describe her, she isn't a friend? Maybe you're not seeing all of her?
  • Is a sensitive person, despite the bravado. This is betrayed by her nearly constant self-deprecation.
I don't understand your reasoning there. Why does self-deprecation imply sensitivity?
  • She does this weird thing where she pretends to still be thinking about a decision even though she has fully decided in her mind on what she's going to do. For instance, I'll ask her "what are you going to take in the fall?" and she answers, "I'm still thinking about it, but I might take such and such or such and such." This seems like she's open to suggestions, but when I answer that she should take this or that class, a lot of the time she responds by listing all of the reasons why that would be a terrible choice. To the point that I know she has already decided on something and is just feigning openness, for whatever reason.
I do that all the time. It's reflexive for me to adopt an opposing viewpoint. Doesn't mean she's made up her mind or is "feigning openness". I know this frustrates people but I don't really understand why. I get accused of contrariness too.
The artistic inclination but difficulty with follow through. The stubbornness and dismissiveness. A lot of this I can identify with. She seems too passive and unstructured to be INTJ to me.
 
Top