Can they mostly be SJ's ..

[Saslou]

My Mum - Outgoing, bubbly and chatty. Loves to spend money yet won't check her bank statements. People pleaser to the point where she can burn out. Likes to physically look good. Believes anti wrinkle clean will make her look younger. Not very smart but has plenty of LIFE skills. If you hurt her feelings, she'll either rip you to shreds with words (nasty) or she will retreat. Doesn't like to burden people with her problems. Very E. We have a great relationship.

My Brother - Goes out on the piss 6 nights of the week, but will always go work 5 mins after he has got in from a bender. Believes life is for living and always uses the phrase 'ahhh, it be alright'. He is sensible in the sense he got his girlfriend pregnant and brought a house to provide stability. Now he is single, very much the party animal. Can see he has feelings, but very rarely shares them with anybody. Very loyal. If the shit hits the fan, he is usually the first one to say, lets help him/her out. Very confident, loves cooking programs and DIY shows. Definitely Extrovert.

My step-dad - Loves his kids dearly, dependable, provider. Not overly smart. Quiet, will sit down and talk about your feelings but he will not really talk about his own. Loves his boy toys (42 inch TV not big enough now) .. I personally think he is a great man.

This is where i am looking at all three and thinking SJ's .. What do you think.
save the best till last.

My little sister - This girl pisses me off. Not smart/knowledgable, manipulative (will be nice when she wants something), very opinionated. Confident in a cocky way. Doesn't do feelings at all. If she see's someones faults, she will pick at it instantly. Lazy, She makes you aware she has done thing for you, like you should be grateful for it. Tut. No drive or determination to get something/anything in life. Has openly admitted she will use her dad so she can get some money out of him. Bitch. Unhealthy. Youngest of us 3 and is jealous of my relationship with mum. One on one, she can be nice if she is doing something she enjoys.

Thanks people.

 

[spirilis]

Brother sounds like an ESxP to me (dunno T/F).
Mum sounds like an SJ, not really enough information about your stepdad to say anything conclusive.

Haha, something about your little sister makes me think unhealthy NTP.

 

[Cimarron]

It's weird, because I also think my immediate family has 4 SJs out of 5 people, and the chances of that seem kind of low...but not that rare, really (especially when you consider other factors). I just hoped it wasn't bias working there. Two got SJ results from a test, and the other two I'm guessing.

 

[NewEra]

Mum - ESxP

Bro and Dad - honestly not enough info. to tell. They could both very well be SJ's but can't tell yet.

Little Sister - xxFx, but once again need more info.

 

[Saslou]

That will do, just needed a general idea. Thanks for that.

 

[ladyinspring]

I am going to say very strongly that in my opinion, most of these people are not SJs.

My Mum - Outgoing, bubbly and chatty. Loves to spend money yet won't check her bank statements. People pleaser to the point where she can burn out. Likes to physically look good. Believes anti wrinkle clean will make her look younger. Not very smart but has plenty of LIFE skills. If you hurt her feelings, she'll either rip you to shreds with words (nasty) or she will retreat. Doesn't like to burden people with her problems. Very E. We have a great relationship.

Your mother doesn't sound like an SJ. Your mother sounds very much like an SP, probably ESFP.

- likes to look good, but won't check bank accounts (SJs have responsibility as a core need, SPs have making an impact as a core need)

- doesn't burden people with her problems (SJs under stress are complainers, that is the game they play to survive)

- if you hurt her feelings, she may rip you to shreds (This is a game SPs play to survive, they get outraged)

My Brother - Goes out on the piss 6 nights of the week, but will always go work 5 mins after he has got in from a bender. Believes life is for living and always uses the phrase 'ahhh, it be alright'. He is sensible in the sense he got his girlfriend pregnant and brought a house to provide stability. Now he is single, very much the party animal. Can see he has feelings, but very rarely shares them with anybody. Very loyal. If the shit hits the fan, he is usually the first one to say, lets help him/her out. Very confident, loves cooking programs and DIY shows. Definitely Extrovert.

Wow, this is most certainly not an SJ at all. SJs are about "belonging, duty, responsibility." Nearly every sentence you wrote about him screams "Not SJ." Again, I would say probably an SP, but definitely not an SJ.

Your dad could be SJ.

My little sister - This girl pisses me off. Not smart/knowledgable, manipulative (will be nice when she wants something), very opinionated. Confident in a cocky way. Doesn't do feelings at all. If she see's someones faults, she will pick at it instantly. Lazy, She makes you aware she has done thing for you, like you should be grateful for it. Tut. No drive or determination to get something/anything in life. Has openly admitted she will use her dad so she can get some money out of him. Bitch. Unhealthy. Youngest of us 3 and is jealous of my relationship with mum. One on one, she can be nice if she is doing something she enjoys.

Your sister sounds like an unhealthy SP, trying to make an impact in negative ways because she can't do it in positive ways. She may not be an SP, but she is definitely not an SJ.

You might be interested in reading "Survival Games Personalities Play" by Eve Delunas. This is very useful for understanding personalities when they are unhealthy. It is also a great way to find concrete examples of the temperaments, both healthy and unhealthy. Your sister is playing SP survival games - con artist, being shocking, delinquency.

 

[CJ99]

Your mum and bro sound like SPs to me.

Your sis sounds like an NTP or maybe an STP.

Don't know about your step-dad. You made him sound a bit NT in the ENTP Kids thread.

 

[Snow Turtle]

Mother - EXFX - More likely to be ESFP if you don't identify with her as an ESFJ.
Brother - ESTP (This one was the easiest, could be ENTP.)
Dad - Not enough information apart from IXXJ, the thing is that being a dad will make him appear more guardian, stable or provider so he could be any IXXX.

Sister - Not enough information to make any real conclusion. You can chalk down those traits to most unhealthy individuals. Not to mention there's the whole element of why? Why is she the way she is?

 

[Saslou]

You might be interested in reading "Survival Games Personalities Play" by Eve Delunas. This is very useful for understanding personalities when they are unhealthy. It is also a great way to find concrete examples of the temperaments, both healthy and unhealthy. Your sister is playing SP survival games - con artist, being shocking, delinquency.

Thanks for that. I'll keep my eyes peeled for that book.

Your mum and bro sound like SPs to me.

Your sis sounds like an NTP or maybe an STP.

Don't know about your step-dad. You made him sound a bit NT in the ENTP Kids thread.

I an not sure my sis is NTP .. Maybe STP then.
My step dad does love all things space and technology, i do see though the difference in personalities between those two. I'll read up ISTP's and see what it says.

Sister - Not enough information to make any real conclusion. You can chalk down those traits to most unhealthy individuals. Not to mention there's the whole element of why? Why is she the way she is?

I don't think that girl could sit down and figure herself out to be honest. Its like she has got a chip on her shoulder. She just seems very angry with everyone. She is spoilt rotten by my mum (guilt on mums part), she has so many nice things, but still its not enough for her. I have taken a step back recently and just paid attention, not retaliated. Still, She is the only one of the 3 of us still living at home, She gets all my mums attention, but still if i nip round which isn't that often, she is jealous that i am with mum and not her.
She is almost 18 years old, tut. lol.
I am going to look into ENFP .. and see if any bells start ringing.

Definately going to look for that book though. Cheers peeps. x

 

[Sentura]

sister definitely sounds ESFP (cue paris hilton)

 

[Saslou]

^^ Oh god help me .. hehe.

Just brought that book from amazon .. How much .. $40 .. I hope it is worth it.

 

[NewEra]

Yeah, the sis sounds more F than T to me.

 

[ladyinspring]

^^ Oh god help me .. hehe.

Just brought that book from amazon .. How much .. $40 .. I hope it is worth it.

Oh dear, now I feel pretty responsible.

I do think the book could help you not only understand your sister, but also to figure out how best to deal with her. Much of the book focuses on SPs because Dr. Delunas says most of her therapy cases start with SPs being brought in by loved ones. The way SPs/Artisans/Improvisers behave tends to get an instant reaction from people, good or bad.

And your mother reminds me of my mother and my closest female friends (all of whom are ESFPs). It is true that a people-pleaser could be an ESFJ, but the whole "rip you to shreds or retreat" response to being hurt is very reminiscent of most of the ESFPs I have known. Whereas my brother, who is an ESFJ, is more apt to complain or give a long lecture when he thinks what you are saying is inappropriate. He also does not really tend to think in terms of "you hurt me". He is extremely forgiving of even the most hurtful actions by others. He may be the kind of person who has resentments but doesn't know it. He is apt to turn it on himself and believe he did something wrong in the situation. Whereas ESFPs are very aware of when they have resentments, and they are more likely to blame someone else than themselves.

I could go even deeper into this if you want. I am personally very invested and interested in the distinctions between SJs and SPs, as I have known and loved quite a few of both. I also think SPs can raise quite a lot of trouble when they're unhealthy, more than any of the others, they can bring others down with them. Both of my parents are SPs, most of my friends have been SPs, and I believe your mother, brother, and sister are undoubtedly SPs.

I must also say you are really, really good at describing people. This is the easiest time I have ever had of typing people because your concrete, to-the-point descriptions make it really easy to put theory into practice.

 

[Saslou]

Oh dear, now I feel pretty responsible.

I do think the book could help you not only understand your sister, but also to figure out how best to deal with her. Much of the book focuses on SPs because Dr. Delunas says most of her therapy cases start with SPs being brought in by loved ones. The way SPs/Artisans/Improvisers behave tends to get an instant reaction from people, good or bad.

And your mother reminds me of my mother and my closest female friends (all of whom are ESFPs). It is true that a people-pleaser could be an ESFJ, but the whole "rip you to shreds or retreat" response to being hurt is very reminiscent of most of the ESFPs I have known. Whereas my brother, who is an ESFJ, is more apt to complain or give a long lecture when he thinks what you are saying is inappropriate. He also does not really tend to think in terms of "you hurt me". He is extremely forgiving of even the most hurtful actions by others. He may be the kind of person who has resentments but doesn't know it. He is apt to turn it on himself and believe he did something wrong in the situation. Whereas ESFPs are very aware of when they have resentments, and they are more likely to blame someone else than themselves.

I could go even deeper into this if you want. I am personally very invested and interested in the distinctions between SJs and SPs, as I have known and loved quite a few of both. I also think SPs can raise quite a lot of trouble when they're unhealthy, more than any of the others, they can bring others down with them. Both of my parents are SPs, most of my friends have been SPs, and I believe your mother, brother, and sister are undoubtedly SPs.

I must also say you are really, really good at describing people. This is the easiest time I have ever had of typing people because your concrete, to-the-point descriptions make it really easy to put theory into practice.

Lol .. I do have a knack of not mincing my words, not sure yet if that is a good thing or bad.

The book will be a good read so i am sure i will enjoy it. Don't worry . I was hoping it would help me understand myself better. I am not looking for perfection and i am always open to new ideas, but i know some of the things i do may be classed as unhealthy. I don't know ...

Yeah your brother's actions are pretty much spot on with mine especially the turning things on himself and forgiving even the craziest things. .

I have always had a good relationship with my mother but there have been times where she is unable to see things from any other perspective. I just put it down to her being stubborn. Now things are so much better. We confide in each other now (that might be to me lowering my walls though) and i try to get her to rationalise some of her reasoning. Its nice that we can both benefit from each other.

lol .. So we may all be S .. my poor youngest son NT, there has to be at least one black sheep.

Thank you.