My conclusions match those of others in the thread, although I guess I'll try to give some of my reasoning.
I find it difficult to figure out your type based on the description due to your social anxiety and possible depression (expecting the worst in order to avoid disappointment). Social anxiety and depression are not exclusive to any type.
Based on
interaction style, I could narrow it down to four possibilities out of the eight introverted types.
On the directing/informing axis, you're probably informing which would make you ISFP, INFP, ISFJ, or INTP. Your need to control the outcome of interactions ("insane" fear of rejection, struggle before answering the phone if you don't know who it is, worries about how you look and come across) are all just a few indications of a "Behind the Scenes" interaction style (with a liberal dose of social anxiety). Behind the Scenes is focused on controlling interactions (as opposed to moving interactions along). Those four types all share the BtS interaction style.
Your entire introduction is heavily relationship-centered. Your relationships (and lack thereof) are the focal point. This is a strong indicator of a preference for Feeling, in my opinion. Which leaves ISFP, INFP, and ISFJ. I would lean away from SJ temperament because, according to Dr. Linda Berens, "the relationships they foster are based on bonds within a group." SJs are also fatalistic, which means they are willing to accept things the way they are, not trying to change things. Your repeated attempts to "overcome difficulties" by going to parties alone is not something I usually associate with ISFJs (whom I know and love well), but I could be wrong.
Which leaves INFP and ISFP. Everything you say in your introduction could fit either one I suppose. The difference between how these types approach relationships is that SPs are fraternal, seeking equals (friends who are like brothers and sisters, buds, pals) and NFs seek empathic, authentic relationships.
My best friend is an SFP, and when she talks about our friendship she sees me as someone great to talk to, with unique insights, and most significantly as a sister who is down for whatever. With her, there is an emphasis on camaraderie. When I think of our relationship, I see her as a fundamentally good soul who I can empathize with and understand on a deep level. I don't really think of her as a sister or a fraternal equal, and the thought of our camaraderie doesn't really make my soul quiver. Now I understand you don't feel you have any close friendships at the moment, but which type of relationship would you be more likely to seek, if you could?
Another thing is INFPs are usually more verbal than ISFPs. Even if you're not talking to a close friend or girlfriend (yet), INFPs are writing their thoughts, talking to themselves, etc. I don't know if you do any of that (keep a journal, blog, diary). It's like we have to keep track of our identity in a way. Identity and meaning are the prevailing themes with NFs in general.
Hope any of that helps.
(sorry again for all the threads)
