Going straight for the jugular - INFP vs ENFP

[PeaceBaby]

really the main thing that helped me was to realize how i alive i become when i'm with other people

I sometimes feel nervous thinking about going out then have generally a great time once I'm interacting. But I can't socialize for as long as some of my "obviously" extroverted friends - I need a break!

I just read this from another thread:

Fi Child
Ne Child

I do relate more to the Fi Child profile, especially wrt to the comments on criticism. But I can remember being outspoken when very young and having negative experiences with that, so in some ways I feel like I learned to keep my thoughts to myself.

...pondering some more...

Back from pondering: I don't know if it really even matters (ENFP vs INFP) - why do I want a definitive answer for something that seems more subjective than concrete? How does it change how I live my life? How does it change how I interact with myself? Because for some strange reason, it does affect the latter. I don't feel as compelled to protect myself from other people.

Let's say I am ENFP. Then I am quite a guarded extrovert, from the sounds of it.
Or let's say I am INFP. Then why do I feel discontent to be isolated from people for too long? Why do I want attention?

*sigh* shall cook dinner now ...

 

[FantailedWall]

I was a geeky intellectual teacher's pet who sought out approval continually. I can remember thinking that adults didn't know I understood their conversations but I felt that I did. (I don't know if I was right of course, but I believed I was at the time.)

Mostly, I was trying to figure out why I wasn't universally liked. I worked hard to try to please other people and to "fit in".

INFP! INFP!!
Heh. Actually, that's a lie. Us ENFPs (from my experience in...uhh...being one and from reading posts by fellow ENFPs) do seek continual approval also and often bend over backwards for others...but I wouldn't say more so than INFPs. I'm not sure whether 'the need to fit in' is more dominant in one or the other - I can see it in fellow NFPs - but I for one never cared all that much what people thought about me, in the general sense. If I care
about them, am in prolonged continual contact with them and/or respect their opinion - THEN I care.
The general population? Not so much.
Perhaps the need to 'fit in' is more prominent in INFPs?

Anyway...I digress.
I get a very 'INFP'-ness from how you've been describing yourself. I can't really be bothered quoting, but there are definite clues in 'feeling drained' when around people and such.

As an ENFP, I personally need time alone to 'centre' myself and digest what I've learnt - but only in preparation to get out there and interact! Not for any real need of 'quiet time'. (Didn't you say you've never thought of yourself as anything but an introvert? Doesn't sound ENFP-ish to me!)

(Also, I've distinctly noticed that INFPs on this forum seem to be the ones who question their type the most...)

 

[Siegfried]

Anyway...I digress.
I get a very 'INFP'-ness from how you've been describing yourself. I can't really be bothered quoting, but there are definite clues in 'feeling drained' when around people and such.

..........

(Also, I've distinctly noticed that INFPs on this forum seem to be the ones who question their type the most...)

These two points, make me really feel you are a social INFP. Feeling drained is a trait of introversion and questioning type is something we INFPs do a lot. The second part especially resonates with my experience and other INFPs I have seen on forums.

The search for who I am, is often a question most people ask, but Fi-dominants do especially, since the inner life matters a lot to us and the key part I found is when you said how you view yourself, that links well with intrapersonal Fi.

The intensity of Fi, from what I feel gives me a need to bond with others closely, I want a lot of attention from those close to me, this something I've felt a lot and find myself discontented when not being able to do so.

 

[Wild horses]

It's really strange actually because when I read your first post I got an ENFP vibe. However, subsequent posts tell me INFP... However, being an impulsive ENFP and used to living by my gut even when it's wrong... I will say ENFP!

 

[PeaceBaby]

Well, I'm still a little fishie flopping around from one side to the other today!

Siegfried, thanks for your posts. I too am 9w1 according to enneagram tests (& agree with that btw) so I would imagine we likely have much in common. Previously, I have wandered through the gc infp site. I would frequently not recognize myself there, and got to the point where I attributed that to the difference in enneagrams (lots of infp's seem to be 4 wings).

Also, I have read quite a few threads here now regarding this question I am currently swimming with (lol, I shall keep the fishie theme going). I agree I am not a typical INFP in some ways. But, if I am ENFP, I wouldn't be a typical ENFP either. For example, I work with computer programmers, and I recognize introverts when I see them! (Lots more introverts in my world than not.) Not a single one of them would think I was an introvert. But I can engage them in conversations, crack through the shell as it were.

Will keep thinking ... any more thoughts? I appreciate the brain power and instincts to help me work through the question.

 

[Siegfried]

Well, I'm still a little fishie flopping around from one side to the other today!

Siegried, thanks for your posts. I too am 9w1 according to enneagram tests (& agree with that btw) so I would imagine we likely have much in common. Previously, I have wandered through the gc infp site. I would frequently not recognize myself there, and got to the point where I attributed that to the difference in enneagrams (lots of infp's seem to be 4 wings).

Also, I have read quite a few threads here now regarding this question I am currently swimming with (lol, I shall keep the fishie theme going). I agree I am not a typical INFP in some ways. But, if I am ENFP, I wouldn't be a typical ENFP either. For example, I work with computer programmers, and I recognize introverts when I see them! (Lots more introverts in my world than not.) Not a single one of them would think I was an introvert. But I can engage them in conversations, crack through the shell as it were.

Will keep thinking ... any more thoughts? I appreciate the brain power and instincts to help me work through the question.

Lol, hmmm. Thats interesting. You must be really close to the border between introversion or extroversion either way, I think. Whatever the case you sound special. I can often feel like I could be more extroverted, if I was in right circumstances. I've contemplated if its more to do with being similar INFJ, Fe is people orientated but the person is still introverted.

"They can be very much involved in the world of people, as well as quiet, imaginative, and in their own world"

Profile by Sandra Krebs Hirsch and Jean Kummerow


My personal take is a person can be almost an ambivert, if in between, still will have a stronger preference though but thats mixing MBTI with my own views, lol.

 

[scattershot]

I'm thinking INFP because you said you were drained by socializing. Being able to filter what you say is also not something I'd ever associate with an ENFP. The whole world usually knows what we're thinking, whether we want to tell 'em or not. "Oops...why did I just say THAT?..."

I'm gonna be lazy and just link to another recent INFP/ENFP discussion 'cause a lot of the analysis would be the same here - http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/what-s-my-type/12978-infp-enfp-intp.html

How much "alone time" would a typical ENFP desire?

I don't think it's how much that makes the difference, it's the reasons for needing alone time. Check out this thread - http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nf-idyllic/13088-infp-vs-enfp-reasons-needing-time-alone.html

Or let's say I am INFP. Then why do I feel discontent to be isolated from people for too long?

Because introversion isn't an all or nothing deal. Being introverted doesn't mean you never, ever want to be around people, just that you don't want to be around them 24/7.

 

[Jeremy]

Siegried, thanks for your posts. I too am 9w1 according to enneagram tests (& agree with that btw) so I would imagine we likely have much in common. Previously, I have wandered through the gc infp site. I would frequently not recognize myself there, and got to the point where I attributed that to the difference in enneagrams (lots of infp's seem to be 4 wings).

Also, I have read quite a few threads here now regarding this question I am currently swimming with (lol, I shall keep the fishie theme going). I agree I am not a typical INFP in some ways. But, if I am ENFP, I wouldn't be a typical ENFP either. For example, I work with computer programmers, and I recognize introverts when I see them! (Lots more introverts in my world than not.) Not a single one of them would think I was an introvert. But I can engage them in conversations, crack through the shell as it were.

Will keep thinking ... any more thoughts? I appreciate the brain power and instincts to help me work through the question.

One thing that I've learned about the MBTI is that there's no such thing as a "typical" anything. There are types, but the boxes that hold those types are pretty large. You can be in a "box" and still not see the other people in the box because they're all huddled in the center, and you're huddled near the door to the box that says "ENFP" (or in my case "INTP").

Now, I'm going to take a leap here and say that you are most likely an INFP, mostly because of the fact that you are so worried about the question. From what I've seen, INFPs have this tendency, because as we may lack structure in other areas of their lives, to have closure in everything that is internal; the internal judging function wants to know everything it can. Otherwise, it keeps coming up. "Well darnit, maybe I am a T", "Well I could be an S..." If you don't feel like you have enough information to tell one from the other, and can never settle on one over the other, and you actually worry and wonder about that, I would say that you are most likely an "I". A more extroverted person would be more likely to let the idea shrug off.

 

[PeaceBaby]

You guys are fabulous - I love all this feedback, it's great!

Siegfried - love that word "ambivert" - an oxymoron in a word. LOL!

scattershot - read the reasons for needing alone time thread - when I feel buzzed from being around people, it makes me feel like I am spinning out of control. Don't like the feeling, so I see it as a negative, and want to return to center. In all fairness tho, I identify more with INFP.

Jeremy - love the "big box" idea. I do feel near the door LOL on the E/I thingy! And it does annoy me (not "worry" me so much as annoys me) - I do want a definitive answer!

I am working my way back to INFP - but I still love me either way

 

[Siegfried]

You guys are fabulous - I love all this feedback, it's great!

Siegfried - love that word "ambivert" - an oxymoron in a word. LOL!

scattershot - read the reasons for needing alone time thread - when I feel buzzed from being around people, it makes me feel like I am spinning out of control. Don't like the feeling, so I see it as a negative, and want to return to center. In all fairness tho, I identify more with INFP.

Jeremy - love the "big box" idea. I do feel near the door LOL on the E/I thingy! And it does annoy me (not "worry" me so much as annoys me) - I do want a definitive answer!

I am working my way back to INFP - but I love me either way

Hahaha. Ambivert, it truly is an oxymoron.

Yep, its important to love yourself, no matter whether you're ENFP or INFP, be who you feel you are.

 

[scattershot]

scattershot - read the reasons for needing alone time thread - when I feel buzzed from being around people, it makes me feel like I am spinning out of control. Don't like the feeling, so I see it as a negative, and want to return to center. In all fairness tho, I identify more with INFP.

Yeah, sounds more like INFP. And hell yes you should still love yourself. INFPs are awesome too.

 

[PeaceBaby]

INFPs are awesome too.

You know, this has been a fascinating exercise. Am I ENFP or INFP? Who knows? As I mentioned a post or two before, I am leaning towards my initial typing of INFP. And I do relate to portions of the ENFP profile - especially regarding the Ne / impressions from people, and the communication aspects. But if getting toads of energy from people is generically the key criteria for being E, I am just not a revved-up, get super-energy from social interaction, be on a people-high kind of gal. I do love people, so I sure would be happy if they added more energy to me than I usually spend on them.

That being said - there's no such thing as one size fits all, and I have used some of the stereotypes of type to limit me as opposed to liberate me. And that's a great take-away for me.

So, any more thoughts/impressions are welcome. I am not closing the book on the topic; I bet I'll still wonder about it from time to time! I just appreciate that I can throw some of my ideas out there, and there are folks here who take the time to offer some thoughtful responses!

You all (wanted to use that icon LOL!)

 

[Elfboy]

what are you worst at? sensing (Si) or Thinking (Te). I know I'm ENFP because I have a decent Te but my Si SUCKS (Si is the worst function of ENFPs while Te is the worst for INFPs) It's hard to tell sometimes though. ENFPs (and ENTPs) tend to have a strong introverted side because because we are dominant intuitives and usually extremely intellectual (personally I can hang out with ESFPs and go crazy for hours and 10 minutes later discuss philosophy or economics with an INTJ) we also need much more time alone than most extroverts (even more than some ISs). Likewise INFPs can be seen as extroverts because (like all NPs) they love to talk.

 

[Into It]

Sound like an INFP to me, which is like winning the MBTI lottery. Well...it may not be the best type to be, but I consistently find they they are the best type to be with.

I think INFPs and ENFPs can be very hard to tell apart. Harder than with other EvI distinctions, for some reason. But I don't know any ENFP's who would say "I wish I got more energy from people than I spend on them." I suppose anything's possible, but that's a strange, foreign statement to me, and the ENFP's I know in person would agree. I guess what I mean about the EvI is That INTPs and ENTPs look very different to me. ESFJ's and ISFJ's look very different to me. But INFPs look like ENFPs who spend a little less time with people, in my experience....

 

[Into It]

what are you worst at? sensing (Si) or Thinking (Te). I know I'm ENFP because I have a decent Te but my Si SUCKS (Si is the worst function of ENFPs while Te is the worst for INFPs) It's hard to tell sometimes though. ENFPs (and ENTPs) tend to have a strong introverted side because because we are dominant intuitives and usually 1extremely intellectual (personally I can hang out with ESFPs and go crazy for hours and 10 minutes later discuss philosophy or economics with an INTJ) we also need much more time alone than most extroverts (even more than some ISs). 2Likewise INFPs can be seen as extroverts because (like all NPs) they love to talk.

1. N's are more inclined to be intellectual, because that involves dealing with intangibles, but I wouldn't say the EN would have any reason to be more intellectual than an IN, (or of course, that any type should be more smart than any other, I feel obligated to explain...)

2.Loving to talk has nothing to do with Ne (NP). INTP's don't mince words, case in point.

 

[Avocado]

i wasn't sure when i joined either. it is tricky because there are so many similarities and if you just read one you take what fits and discard the rest but everyone here helped me figure out that i was an enfp because i really do come alive when i'm with other people. they give me energy and i feel motivated to do things...when i'm alone i'm seriously lazy.

another helpful point that a member by the name of heart helped me with...she asked how i do with dark emotions...and supposedly infp's are much more comfortable with them then enfp's...i very much try to be happy all the time and create that kind of environment around me....anther thing was that...i don't really think before i speak or write...it kind of all happens at once...and i'm ridiculously expressive...everyone always knows what i'm feeling...good or bad...it's pretty embarrassing actually...she described it as what's suppose to be on the inside is on the outside...and it's totally true.

Yes, EVERYBODY KNOWS my feelings.