Well now I'm just confused

[briochick]

Ok, I used to be sure that I was an INFJ. Esp as a teen, and even after going over the whole Kirskey thing with my family, it seemed I was an INFJ. Now, not so much though, and I've started to score INFP. Here's the problem. I'm much more outgoing and verbal and talkitive than either the INFP or the INFJ. BUT, only when I'm around one or two people. Around three, four, twenty and I clam up. And, even though I'm fine being a teacher I rarely go out in the evening, resent if anyone breaks into my mornings and hide for most of the weekends (except for going to church, which is necessary as much as I don't want to see people at that point). Still, quite outgoing with that stuff and willing to try new things.

Then the INFP description says that "my" type is quite about when other people have different opinions/ethics than the INFP. Obviously they've never met me. I'm much more ENFJ in that. I won't hide that I disagree with you, and if I do (which I feel like I do often) I feel deeply guilty about it, for not spreading what is 'right'.

Like the INFJ I have a strong sense of good vs. evil and I base a lot off of instincts and have had visions and stuff.

Also (and I'm not sure that this would be INFJ or INFP) I experience all emotions with almost violent intensity. I was a cutter for a time because of it, because what I felt was so strong (and often so anxty) that I could not express it. Also, esp when I'm in a stressed environment I feel other people's emotions *like* they're my own.

But I brood. But I can be really goofy and people often say that I'm alternately mature and deep and excitable and childlike.

And being around even moderately sized groups seriously overwhelms me.

And I think conveying information and insight is really important.

And I think self-understanding and improvement is key, because how can you understand anyone else or improve the world if you can't even do that for yourself?

*sigh* I'm confused.

 

[Nat]

Maybe this site could help you out. In particular, take a look at the option in the top corner for 'J/P discussion' and 'introverted extraverts'.

Here's the problem. I'm much more outgoing and verbal and talkitive than either the INFP or the INFJ. BUT, only when I'm around one or two people.

I think that this is more typical of introverts - to be more outgoing/talkative with less people.

 

[briochick]

Maybe this site could help you out. In particular, take a look at the option in the top corner for 'J/P discussion' and 'introverted extraverts'.

I think that this is more typical of introverts - to be more outgoing/talkative with less people.

Thanks. I checked out the site.

I think then that my major issue comes between the J and the P (and perhaps I'm not informed enough but so far what I've read hasn't solidified one or the other for me). Though, I noticed on the website that you referred me to that the author found many INFPs (even ones with J tendencies) were ADD (which I am, er, as far as anyone might believe that ADD is a 'disorder' that needs fixing and therefore medically diagnose it as such). Uh, but some of the descriptors for INFP are simply *not* me, and never *have* been me.

For example (from a few different infp descriptions):

"One might say they see life through rose-colored glasses." (seriously? And *that* would be why I'm bloody terrified of being in relationships? because of my eternal optimism?)

"INFPs have the ability to see good in almost anyone or anything. Even for the most unlovable the INFP is wont to have pity." (ok, everyone has good in them, but *not* everyone deserves pity. People make choices, some deserve scorn, especially when those choices hurt innocents)

"INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease." (ha, I *wish* that were the case. I freaking talk ALL THE TIME. It's like this voice in my head screaming at me to shut up, but I don't. My friends say I'm an ok listener but they don't come to me when they need to vent so I have to disagree. And, and I'm accused of being "judgmental" and "seeing people's flaws" and stuff like that)

"Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion." D Now, while I don't always know the depth of my own feeling, and can often get entirely overwhelmed by it if I do, I am rarely reserved in expressing emotion. In fact I think some of the more ST types probably think I emote WAY too much)

"INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong" (uh, huh? In a lot of conflicts neither is right or wrong, but in a lot someone is in the wrong, because there is right an wrong in the universe so it's quite possible, probable even to be in the wrong, and when someone is...they should change)

"INFPs make very good mediators" (really? because I have a tendency to ask parties if they realize how stupid/prejudice/something they're being and how that attitude will get them nowhere. I thought mediators were supposed to be totally supportive of everyone)

"INFPs do not like to deal with hard facts and logic." (What? huh? Since when exactly? Facts and logic are *important*. Without them you live on this intense roller coaster existence that begins to feel like being on a tornado after eating a chili-dog. Duh. Plus, they can seriously help you in understanding stuff and thus being able to improve it. I also acknowledge that later the analysis says some infps have developed the skill of logic)

"They may be awkward and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally" (Obviously they never met me. But then having an ENFJ father who would make everything you said/thought/did invalid unless you could and would fight for it, and an ISTfJ mother who is pretty dense about feelings unless you express them I could have just developed that....a lot)

"Accordingly, they have a great deal of tolerance and acceptance dealing with people who might encounter negative judgment from society in general." (again, I'm a Christian so everything is filtered through that. I don't just tolerate someone because other people won't. In fact, I'm aware that I can be *quite* intolerant of people)

"May blame their problems on other people" (that's not true. I'm more than capable of blaming myself for my problems. Most of them are my fault anyway. In fact, I'd say I tend toward blaming *everything* on myself)

"May be oblivious to their personal appearance, or to appropriate dress"(what?! I resent that, seriously. It's uncommon that I don't know appropriate dress for a situation. Sometimes I don't care....but that's a different matter.)

Right, so those are my grievances with the INFP profiles.