Jai
Active member
- Joined
- May 22, 2021
- Messages
- 304
- Enneagram
- V
It may be a bit odd for me to do one of these considering I'm pretty confident in my typings, but at the same time it's always interesting seeing how people that don't know me very well perceive me based upon the limited info a questionnaire can provide. I'm also too lazy to proofread this so keep that in mind if any typos or grammatical errors pop up.
a) I'm 19 years old; I've moved around a fair bit but the place that has most likely had the largest impact on me through its culture is the UK. It's also the country I've lived in the longest so from a more realistic standpoint it'd likely be the best choice either way. I don't have any religious or political beliefs that should have any impact on the way that I answer the questionnaire, and while there are disorders that I most likely suffer from, I haven't been officially diagnosed with anything,
b) I'm considering both INTP and INFP in MBTI, and 5w4 and 4w5 to a lesser extent in the enneagram. The former quandary is simply because I'm borderline on the T/F dichotomy; I don't have a clear preference for either regarding decision-making and from a functional perspective I can be best described as NiX anyway. With 5w4 vs 4w5, I believe myself to have the lines of movement of a 5 but the core fears/desires and behavioural traits of both 4 and 5. The combination of high neuroticism yet low agreeableness only blurs the line further.
I don't think that inherent purpose exists for one, and so it's hard for me to truly believe in an answer without it feeling somewhat contrived. After putting a lot of thought into my answer though, I think I would say that my purpose in life is to experience it fully. I don't want to restrict myself to a certain way of being, especially one not decided by myself, and limit myself as a result. It's not to say that I actively go out of my way to do everything I can while I'm alive; rather, I don't close myself off to what is perceived as negative since it's an integral part of life.
I don't have a clear answer for which sins I relate to most but for the one I relate to least, it'd likely be greed. I've never been big on material possessions, in fact I think that I'm pretty poor at appreciating things in the physical realm in general due to my detachment from the environment. As such, I've never really had any drive to acquire things and I tend to live a minimalist lifestyle instead. As for the sin I relate to most, wrath, lust, and sloth are all good candidates. My anger is pretty explosive and I don't have a lot of self-control either; that paired with the constant feeling of injustice I carry against the world can cause me to have occasional outbursts of hatred in which I want the entire world to suffer as well. This is usually a reaction against something though and in direct contrast to my usual state of indifference. Lust ties in to my poor self-control. I can have moments in which I go against my better judgement and ignore the consequences of my actions for instantaneous gratification, only to regret my decisions later. In the moment though I'm driven almost primarily by lust or desire for whatever it is that I want. I include sloth because my day-to-day life doesn't consist of much, and I like it that way. If given the option, I'd love to live a life in which I don't have to work at all and I can instead just relax and do whatever I feel is most interesting to do at any given moment.
a) I'm drawn to like-minded people: eccentric, intellectually curious, able to see the real meaning of things rather than focus on unimportant details, etc. If I was to attempt to explain what I mean through type, I'd say that INxx 5s, 4s, and 9s are the most appealing to me, since they allow me to feel understood and also provide me with a level of stimulation that I don't really get from the 'common' person if you will.
b) I haven't really thought a lot before about what sort of person is drawn to me. I think that I don't really appeal to people in general, not beyond the surface level 'Oh Koto you're so insightful and hard to figure out.' I'd guess that the people that I seek out are the same kind of people that are likely to seek me out.
c) The first thing that comes to mind are obnoxiously loud and upbeat people that constantly try and 'cheer me up' as if I'm not already in an okay mood simply because I'm quiet. People that constantly micromanage my every movement and insist that I have to do things they way that they want them to; people that are ultra-traditional and refuse any sort of change, including positive change, simply because it isn't what they're used to; people who are only concerned with keeping up with what is fashionable at the time with no regard for maintaining a consistent identity; people that are slow to catch on to anything and force me to slow down in order to accommodate their needs; the list really does go on and on.
I don't know if I'd say there are any traits in others that I admire too much if I'm speaking honestly. My gut instinct tells me work ethic; I consistently struggle with putting in effort into anything due to my reliance on my natural gifts. I don't think that I necessarily admire those that are able to work hard though since it's something that I make up for in other ways as previously stated, it's just something that I don't see myself being able to emulate anytime soon.
a) I have a pretty rocky relationship with anger. I've often gotten into trouble with others over my anger and I still think I'm yet to have found a way to express it healthily; I'm not a perpetually angry person by any means, though I am easily irritated/frustrated. A lot of the time it shows itself through sarcasm and biting criticism but as a child I'd tend to lash out physically since it felt as though my words weren't being understood and that there was no other way to get anyone to listen to me.
b) I think out of the five on the list, this is the emotion that I'm least acquainted with. I get embarrassed easily but that's about it; regret on the other hand is something that I feel fairly often.
c) I'm quite the fearful person, with some of my fears being strong enough to affect the way in which I live life pretty significantly. I prefer not to have to engage with my fears by any means if possible and so I run from them instead. This can be on a physical level, willingly giving my entire room up to a spider that has decided to inhabit it until it dies/someone else deals with it, or on a more abstract level, such as refusing to put myself in positions in which I will have to interact with others irl out of the fear of simply being in a social situation. I would say that the fear that holds me back most though is the fear of not being able to do things well; if I had more confidence in my ability to perform in the moment I think that I'd feel a lot better in general, but I don't, and so I spend inordinate amounts of time 'preparing' myself by studying, analysing, and building up my theoretical competence but never actually doing the thing that it is that I need to do.
d) As you may have figured out by now, I'm a pretty extreme person, and my relationship with love and passion is no exception. I'm either deeply interested in something or I have no interest in it at all. I have 'phases' in which I spend weeks or months obsessing over an interest, learning all there is to know about it, changing all my wallpapers and profile pictures to reflect it somehow, and then eventually picking up a new interest and moving on. I do have a couple long-term passions though. The main one is music; I've been deeply invested in music for as long as I can remember and would consider myself to be more of an expert than most on music theory, as well as being naturally gifted in the area, Typology is another long-standing passion, and as such I've eeked out pretty much all I can from MBTI and enneagram at this point, as well as dabbled in socionics for a while. I have this obsessive/uninterested mindset with people too; the large majority fall into the latter camp but every once in a while I find a person that I click with and end up getting to know them well in a pretty short amount of time before falling out of interest and moving on, though I don't particularly feel good about doing so, leading me to just not engage with most people anyway.
e) I'm not a fan of conflict and generally tend to avoid it if possible since assertiveness isn't my strong suit. However, if I feel strongly about something, I can become an instigator of conflict in an attempt to change someone's mind, and I can be very stubborn about it. This usually happens when it feels like someone is being illogical and wilful in their ignorance too; attempts to control me against my will are usually met with this sort of defiance as well.
I think that the theme of cycles has been fairly prevalent; the idea that certain things are bound to repeat themselves albeit in different ways is one that I can get on board with, and as someone that experiences deja vu pretty often and also seems to find themselves making the same sort of mistakes, it holds true in personal experience. The theme of identity has unsurprisingly been prominent also. A lot of my time is spent thinking about how to best define myself and what I want to be, as well as trying to find ways to individualise the intellectual if that makes sense; if I was to be cliché I'd say that I look for the beautiful in the theoretical. Patterns are the clearest example of this, patterns in maths, music, art, time, there's just something deeply satisfying about things coming together neatly, especially if they seem chaotic and unusual at first. Odd time signatures like 7/8, polyrhythms, dissonant chords, etc, are all things that I love in music and seek to understand before pilfering for my own work.
b) As I've alluded to multiple times now, I'm a musician and plan on pursuing music as a career. I'm not particularly concerned about being successful, I just want to spend my life doing something that I really care about. People like Jacob Collier and Thundercat are not only some of my favourite musicians but are also people I respect due to their dedication to their visions and ideas; it's all about the music for them, and it's all about the music for me too. It'd honestly be a dream just having the opportunity to vibe with musicians that really 'get' music. I don't really know how to explain it any better than that, I guess a pretty literal answer to the question about purpose is that I feel as though every fibre of my being exists to create and experience music.
I tend to focus on them as a person I suppose, their worldview, their potential, their aptitude for certain things, etc. It's pretty much impossible for me not to categorise others as I meet them; 'what's their type, how intelligent are they, how do they differ to me, what are they likely to enjoy/dislike, can I get along with them' are all thoughts that I have and then from that I build a character model that is more often than not pretty accurate. This isn't to say that I don't change these initial impressions in time though.
I'm pretty done with humanity honestly. Most of the time I don't really feel human myself, since it's pretty inconceivable that I could be related to what I perceive as 'others' in any sort of way. I find that the general population seems to be pretty ignorant, and happy about it as well, content with keeping the status quo than pushing for anything greater. I don't think that selfishness is inherently bad, but the way the world is set up it feels as though lining one's pockets takes priority over the well-being of oneself and others, and it's just pretty depressing to look at. I've given my thoughts on the MBTI community here before and a lot of what I said there applies to pretty much all societies imo; ignorance is going to be our downfall and the few that want to prevent it aren't going to be able to persuade the many that can't even see it.
Music, typology, anime, football (soccer), basketball, chess, gaming, analytical/commentary channels on Youtube (Summoning Salt, TheRightOpinion, Philosophy Tube, etc), and cars, those are the ones I can think of currently.
I don't hang out with my friends. My closest friends are all online, none of which I've met in person, and while I do have irl friends from school and so on, I don't interact with them outside of such. I like being on my own and I tire out easily when having to deal with people irl; I'm much more easily stimulated by mental activities and puzzle-solving. It had been literal years since I left the house for any sort of social event even before the pandemic, barring sports, and even then the competition and opportunity to show my tactical prowess is what draws me to them; if I wasn't naturally athletic there would be no way that I would have made the effort to become athletic since I find other things more interesting.
It depends on the context. I don't like taking unnecessary action, and so I tend to prefer to reason things out with others and remain diplomatic. It might be stupid of me, but I assume that everyone hold some level of reasonableness, and so I can reach an agreement or conclusion with them if I can simply show them where their logic falters. Unfortunately, there are always those that are so hellbent on following their values that they ignore the truth entirely, and with people like that, reason isn't an effective tool, so I tend to just leave them be. Action is required over words in more pressing/time-sensitive matters though, such as if someone is going to commit suicide or holding someone at hostage, or even in less stressful situations such as in competition; in those instances you don't really have much time to think and so you just have to make a choice and go with it, which is why I tend to prefer to avoid those sorts of situations.
It would definitely be A, my sense of taste isn't important to me or particularly well developed and most of the time I don't even realise that I'm eating anyway since I'm thinking about other things. C would be devastating since I don't think I'd be myself without my memories, D is likely going to happen anyway but is still of more consequence than A, E would make life infinitely less interesting, and B is something that I'm not sure I'd necessarily dislike in the first place.
I'd want to avoid being like any of the people that I listed when talking about people that I'm repulsed by. It's interesting that the question points out 'you as a villain' to me since that implies that I'm already good, or that I don't have the desire to be villainous (I don't, but I don't think of things generally in terms of hero/villain or good/bad, nor am I concerned with being on either side of those dichotomies).
This is another question that I think I've already answered adequately in an earlier response.
I prefer open-endedness to structure and closure, yes. I'm a pretty lazy person overall and like to find ways of doing things that get the job done with as little effort as possible. As such, my room is generally in a state, I don't tend to organise things before starting on them, and I can procrastinate on important work if I think that I have enough time left to do it still later on. Motivation plays a key role in all of this too though, if I simply don't feel in the mood to do something then it is basically impossible to get me to do it, and motivation is a fickle mistress, so there are times in which I crank out a 10,000 word essay in a couple of days without being asked to, and times in which I put off something as simple as sweeping my room until it's literally untenable.
I don't really tend to think about comfort much at all. As I said, I'm pretty detached from my environment and body, sometimes I think I have a literal diminished capacity for experiencing and enjoying physical stimuli, and so I'm often told by others that I need to look after myself better, and that binging anime for 24 hours isn't going to be good for my health in the long run. It's not like I'm not aware that my habits are bad for me, but I don't have the dedication to improve on them, so what ends up happening is that I sort myself out for a few days before relapsing and going back to staying up late and eating sweets. My body enables this behaviour too, since I don't put on weight or show signs of deterioration; I know it'll catch up on me someday but I'll just sit and worry about it rather than do anything about it for now. As for creating comfort, I feel comfortable when I feel free, so by simply chilling out and doing whatever I feel like doing, I maintain that freedom and comfort that I enjoy.
a) I'm 19 years old; I've moved around a fair bit but the place that has most likely had the largest impact on me through its culture is the UK. It's also the country I've lived in the longest so from a more realistic standpoint it'd likely be the best choice either way. I don't have any religious or political beliefs that should have any impact on the way that I answer the questionnaire, and while there are disorders that I most likely suffer from, I haven't been officially diagnosed with anything,
b) I'm considering both INTP and INFP in MBTI, and 5w4 and 4w5 to a lesser extent in the enneagram. The former quandary is simply because I'm borderline on the T/F dichotomy; I don't have a clear preference for either regarding decision-making and from a functional perspective I can be best described as NiX anyway. With 5w4 vs 4w5, I believe myself to have the lines of movement of a 5 but the core fears/desires and behavioural traits of both 4 and 5. The combination of high neuroticism yet low agreeableness only blurs the line further.
I don't think that inherent purpose exists for one, and so it's hard for me to truly believe in an answer without it feeling somewhat contrived. After putting a lot of thought into my answer though, I think I would say that my purpose in life is to experience it fully. I don't want to restrict myself to a certain way of being, especially one not decided by myself, and limit myself as a result. It's not to say that I actively go out of my way to do everything I can while I'm alive; rather, I don't close myself off to what is perceived as negative since it's an integral part of life.
I don't have a clear answer for which sins I relate to most but for the one I relate to least, it'd likely be greed. I've never been big on material possessions, in fact I think that I'm pretty poor at appreciating things in the physical realm in general due to my detachment from the environment. As such, I've never really had any drive to acquire things and I tend to live a minimalist lifestyle instead. As for the sin I relate to most, wrath, lust, and sloth are all good candidates. My anger is pretty explosive and I don't have a lot of self-control either; that paired with the constant feeling of injustice I carry against the world can cause me to have occasional outbursts of hatred in which I want the entire world to suffer as well. This is usually a reaction against something though and in direct contrast to my usual state of indifference. Lust ties in to my poor self-control. I can have moments in which I go against my better judgement and ignore the consequences of my actions for instantaneous gratification, only to regret my decisions later. In the moment though I'm driven almost primarily by lust or desire for whatever it is that I want. I include sloth because my day-to-day life doesn't consist of much, and I like it that way. If given the option, I'd love to live a life in which I don't have to work at all and I can instead just relax and do whatever I feel is most interesting to do at any given moment.
a) I'm drawn to like-minded people: eccentric, intellectually curious, able to see the real meaning of things rather than focus on unimportant details, etc. If I was to attempt to explain what I mean through type, I'd say that INxx 5s, 4s, and 9s are the most appealing to me, since they allow me to feel understood and also provide me with a level of stimulation that I don't really get from the 'common' person if you will.
b) I haven't really thought a lot before about what sort of person is drawn to me. I think that I don't really appeal to people in general, not beyond the surface level 'Oh Koto you're so insightful and hard to figure out.' I'd guess that the people that I seek out are the same kind of people that are likely to seek me out.
c) The first thing that comes to mind are obnoxiously loud and upbeat people that constantly try and 'cheer me up' as if I'm not already in an okay mood simply because I'm quiet. People that constantly micromanage my every movement and insist that I have to do things they way that they want them to; people that are ultra-traditional and refuse any sort of change, including positive change, simply because it isn't what they're used to; people who are only concerned with keeping up with what is fashionable at the time with no regard for maintaining a consistent identity; people that are slow to catch on to anything and force me to slow down in order to accommodate their needs; the list really does go on and on.
I don't know if I'd say there are any traits in others that I admire too much if I'm speaking honestly. My gut instinct tells me work ethic; I consistently struggle with putting in effort into anything due to my reliance on my natural gifts. I don't think that I necessarily admire those that are able to work hard though since it's something that I make up for in other ways as previously stated, it's just something that I don't see myself being able to emulate anytime soon.
a) I have a pretty rocky relationship with anger. I've often gotten into trouble with others over my anger and I still think I'm yet to have found a way to express it healthily; I'm not a perpetually angry person by any means, though I am easily irritated/frustrated. A lot of the time it shows itself through sarcasm and biting criticism but as a child I'd tend to lash out physically since it felt as though my words weren't being understood and that there was no other way to get anyone to listen to me.
b) I think out of the five on the list, this is the emotion that I'm least acquainted with. I get embarrassed easily but that's about it; regret on the other hand is something that I feel fairly often.
c) I'm quite the fearful person, with some of my fears being strong enough to affect the way in which I live life pretty significantly. I prefer not to have to engage with my fears by any means if possible and so I run from them instead. This can be on a physical level, willingly giving my entire room up to a spider that has decided to inhabit it until it dies/someone else deals with it, or on a more abstract level, such as refusing to put myself in positions in which I will have to interact with others irl out of the fear of simply being in a social situation. I would say that the fear that holds me back most though is the fear of not being able to do things well; if I had more confidence in my ability to perform in the moment I think that I'd feel a lot better in general, but I don't, and so I spend inordinate amounts of time 'preparing' myself by studying, analysing, and building up my theoretical competence but never actually doing the thing that it is that I need to do.
d) As you may have figured out by now, I'm a pretty extreme person, and my relationship with love and passion is no exception. I'm either deeply interested in something or I have no interest in it at all. I have 'phases' in which I spend weeks or months obsessing over an interest, learning all there is to know about it, changing all my wallpapers and profile pictures to reflect it somehow, and then eventually picking up a new interest and moving on. I do have a couple long-term passions though. The main one is music; I've been deeply invested in music for as long as I can remember and would consider myself to be more of an expert than most on music theory, as well as being naturally gifted in the area, Typology is another long-standing passion, and as such I've eeked out pretty much all I can from MBTI and enneagram at this point, as well as dabbled in socionics for a while. I have this obsessive/uninterested mindset with people too; the large majority fall into the latter camp but every once in a while I find a person that I click with and end up getting to know them well in a pretty short amount of time before falling out of interest and moving on, though I don't particularly feel good about doing so, leading me to just not engage with most people anyway.
e) I'm not a fan of conflict and generally tend to avoid it if possible since assertiveness isn't my strong suit. However, if I feel strongly about something, I can become an instigator of conflict in an attempt to change someone's mind, and I can be very stubborn about it. This usually happens when it feels like someone is being illogical and wilful in their ignorance too; attempts to control me against my will are usually met with this sort of defiance as well.
I think that the theme of cycles has been fairly prevalent; the idea that certain things are bound to repeat themselves albeit in different ways is one that I can get on board with, and as someone that experiences deja vu pretty often and also seems to find themselves making the same sort of mistakes, it holds true in personal experience. The theme of identity has unsurprisingly been prominent also. A lot of my time is spent thinking about how to best define myself and what I want to be, as well as trying to find ways to individualise the intellectual if that makes sense; if I was to be cliché I'd say that I look for the beautiful in the theoretical. Patterns are the clearest example of this, patterns in maths, music, art, time, there's just something deeply satisfying about things coming together neatly, especially if they seem chaotic and unusual at first. Odd time signatures like 7/8, polyrhythms, dissonant chords, etc, are all things that I love in music and seek to understand before pilfering for my own work.
b) As I've alluded to multiple times now, I'm a musician and plan on pursuing music as a career. I'm not particularly concerned about being successful, I just want to spend my life doing something that I really care about. People like Jacob Collier and Thundercat are not only some of my favourite musicians but are also people I respect due to their dedication to their visions and ideas; it's all about the music for them, and it's all about the music for me too. It'd honestly be a dream just having the opportunity to vibe with musicians that really 'get' music. I don't really know how to explain it any better than that, I guess a pretty literal answer to the question about purpose is that I feel as though every fibre of my being exists to create and experience music.
I tend to focus on them as a person I suppose, their worldview, their potential, their aptitude for certain things, etc. It's pretty much impossible for me not to categorise others as I meet them; 'what's their type, how intelligent are they, how do they differ to me, what are they likely to enjoy/dislike, can I get along with them' are all thoughts that I have and then from that I build a character model that is more often than not pretty accurate. This isn't to say that I don't change these initial impressions in time though.
I'm pretty done with humanity honestly. Most of the time I don't really feel human myself, since it's pretty inconceivable that I could be related to what I perceive as 'others' in any sort of way. I find that the general population seems to be pretty ignorant, and happy about it as well, content with keeping the status quo than pushing for anything greater. I don't think that selfishness is inherently bad, but the way the world is set up it feels as though lining one's pockets takes priority over the well-being of oneself and others, and it's just pretty depressing to look at. I've given my thoughts on the MBTI community here before and a lot of what I said there applies to pretty much all societies imo; ignorance is going to be our downfall and the few that want to prevent it aren't going to be able to persuade the many that can't even see it.
Music, typology, anime, football (soccer), basketball, chess, gaming, analytical/commentary channels on Youtube (Summoning Salt, TheRightOpinion, Philosophy Tube, etc), and cars, those are the ones I can think of currently.
I don't hang out with my friends. My closest friends are all online, none of which I've met in person, and while I do have irl friends from school and so on, I don't interact with them outside of such. I like being on my own and I tire out easily when having to deal with people irl; I'm much more easily stimulated by mental activities and puzzle-solving. It had been literal years since I left the house for any sort of social event even before the pandemic, barring sports, and even then the competition and opportunity to show my tactical prowess is what draws me to them; if I wasn't naturally athletic there would be no way that I would have made the effort to become athletic since I find other things more interesting.
It depends on the context. I don't like taking unnecessary action, and so I tend to prefer to reason things out with others and remain diplomatic. It might be stupid of me, but I assume that everyone hold some level of reasonableness, and so I can reach an agreement or conclusion with them if I can simply show them where their logic falters. Unfortunately, there are always those that are so hellbent on following their values that they ignore the truth entirely, and with people like that, reason isn't an effective tool, so I tend to just leave them be. Action is required over words in more pressing/time-sensitive matters though, such as if someone is going to commit suicide or holding someone at hostage, or even in less stressful situations such as in competition; in those instances you don't really have much time to think and so you just have to make a choice and go with it, which is why I tend to prefer to avoid those sorts of situations.
It would definitely be A, my sense of taste isn't important to me or particularly well developed and most of the time I don't even realise that I'm eating anyway since I'm thinking about other things. C would be devastating since I don't think I'd be myself without my memories, D is likely going to happen anyway but is still of more consequence than A, E would make life infinitely less interesting, and B is something that I'm not sure I'd necessarily dislike in the first place.
I'd want to avoid being like any of the people that I listed when talking about people that I'm repulsed by. It's interesting that the question points out 'you as a villain' to me since that implies that I'm already good, or that I don't have the desire to be villainous (I don't, but I don't think of things generally in terms of hero/villain or good/bad, nor am I concerned with being on either side of those dichotomies).
This is another question that I think I've already answered adequately in an earlier response.
I prefer open-endedness to structure and closure, yes. I'm a pretty lazy person overall and like to find ways of doing things that get the job done with as little effort as possible. As such, my room is generally in a state, I don't tend to organise things before starting on them, and I can procrastinate on important work if I think that I have enough time left to do it still later on. Motivation plays a key role in all of this too though, if I simply don't feel in the mood to do something then it is basically impossible to get me to do it, and motivation is a fickle mistress, so there are times in which I crank out a 10,000 word essay in a couple of days without being asked to, and times in which I put off something as simple as sweeping my room until it's literally untenable.
I don't really tend to think about comfort much at all. As I said, I'm pretty detached from my environment and body, sometimes I think I have a literal diminished capacity for experiencing and enjoying physical stimuli, and so I'm often told by others that I need to look after myself better, and that binging anime for 24 hours isn't going to be good for my health in the long run. It's not like I'm not aware that my habits are bad for me, but I don't have the dedication to improve on them, so what ends up happening is that I sort myself out for a few days before relapsing and going back to staying up late and eating sweets. My body enables this behaviour too, since I don't put on weight or show signs of deterioration; I know it'll catch up on me someday but I'll just sit and worry about it rather than do anything about it for now. As for creating comfort, I feel comfortable when I feel free, so by simply chilling out and doing whatever I feel like doing, I maintain that freedom and comfort that I enjoy.
