Morpeko
Noble Wolf
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2017
- Messages
- 5,413
- MBTI Type
- LEFV
- Enneagram
- 461
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
I’d appreciate being typed in any system. MBTI, enneagram, instinctual variants, socionics, Hogwarts houses, temperaments, anything you can throw at me. (Note: I am definitely most interested in enneagram and variants.)
I filled out a couple of questionnaires here. I appreciate any feedback!
(P.S. if you respond to my questionnaire and you have one up I’ll reply to yours as well in detail, just let me know.)
I'm also willing to answer any further questions, or even questionnaires if you have any good ones. I'll probably ask follow-up questions if I get some sort of interesting type suggestion.
RadicalDoubt Questionnaire
I’m skipping the context questions because I don’t find them relevant, but I am a young adult and in case cultural values do matter, I am of Asian descent and living in the United States.
That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I believe that life inherently has no purpose and people construct purposes for themselves. Be it through their families, or careers, or passions, or spirituality.
Meanwhile, I cannot find anything that makes me want to keep living. Sure, I have passions and such, but they cannot take the place of a purpose in my life. I sort of feel like a piece of trash randomly floating around without any meaning. I’d love to change that outlook, but living in a world such as this one just seems utterly pointless to me.
I relate most to wrath. I am a very vengeful and bitter person. I believe I have a lot to be angry about in my life.
Envy is a close second. The grass is always greener and it always seems like to me that everyone’s lives are way better than mine. I tend to focus on these shortcomings and become angry at others just because they have more than me. Then I perceive my life to not be worth living because I’m far behind in life than everyone else.
I don’t really relate to greed. I’m quite ambitious and there are some things I really want in life, but I wouldn’t stoop down so low to achieve those things.
I’m most drawn to people with similar interests and passions. I can get along with different personalities as long as we have some common foundational topic to discuss.
No one is ever really drawn to me. Except maybe online… so random Internet introverts. We wouldn’t even talk in person.
That would be most people.
But really, the most repulsive people to me are fake. Those who knowingly pretend to be someone they’re not. Especially if I can tell that they’re lying outright to my face.
Charisma. It almost seems like people are born with that… and I just wasn’t. I’m closed-off and unlikable and I don’t make very good first impressions. Despite my social anxiety, I’ve trained myself to get better at small talking over the years, but I’m still not very charismatic. I do admire some people who are good at talking but I can’t seem to become more like them.
Innovation. It would be so cool if I could come up with new ideas and be able to present them to the public, but I am not that creative. Even when I try to brainstorm new ideas and other things, mine are never interesting or have already been done.
Anger is a pretty big part of my life. I’m angry about nearly everything in some way. I guess I deal with two forms of anger regularly. First are my daily irritations that piss the fuck out of me but I get over quickly. Makes my blood boil but I cook down nearly as quickly.
However, I am also a very vengeful person. Whenever I perceive some form of “injustice†done to me (i.e. bullying, someone messing with a loved one, etc.) I will harbor a grudge for years. I’ve been mad at certain things for over ten years and whenever I think about it I’m still almost as mad (if not more) as I was when it happened.
I don’t really have a good way of dealing with my anger besides stewing in it. Sometimes it spills out and I accidentally take it out on the people around me even though they don’t deserve it. Sometimes I have a bunch of revenge fantasies that I rarely ever do. Mostly it just consumes a lot of my energy and I’m left miserable.
Shame is a large part of my life, and integral to my identity. I find myself to be very flawed as a person, I am deeply embarrassed of who I am. I want to be perfect but I am far from it.
I’m not sure how to deal with my shame as it has been internalized too deeply, but it usually manifests as self-deprecation and victimization. I’ve tried adapting to become a less shameful person, but I am terrible at changing, so I’ve given up on that. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to accept myself because the shame is too much.
I’m a very fearful person. A ton of things give me anxiety. Especially anything to do with social situations or the potential of me failing.
I think I can deal with fear a lot better than shame or anger, though. I like to prepare for the worst and to troubleshoot. I read and read and read about these problems to gather as much information as I can. I constantly search for guidance and assurance from trusted sources that I am heading toward the right path (and I sound like a stereotype for a specific enneagram head type right now, I know).
I don’t really know what love is. I don’t believe I’ve ever fallen in love. I care deeply about several people in my immediate family, though. I’m not sure I can love anyone unless I knew they unconditionally loved me back. But what do I know? I’ve never been given the chance.
Passion is something else. I dive in deep into my favorite interests. I want to absorb every part of them. I become obsessed with activities and certain things to the point they become a part of me. And I don’t have any regrets.
Life is just one big conflict after another. I have no choice but to deal with it. I go through phases of dealing with them head-on because I know that’s what I must do, and retreating to hide because I’m too afraid to do anything or find myself too incapable to do so. I am both fight, and flight/freeze.
Longing is probably the biggest theme. I think that my life could be so much more than it currently is. I always want more than what I have and envy those who have what I want. Even when I get what I want, I find more things to desire. I’ve had people tell me that I’m blessed in what I have, but I can’t help but fixate on the ways I perceive myself to be cursed.
I filled out a couple of questionnaires here. I appreciate any feedback!
(P.S. if you respond to my questionnaire and you have one up I’ll reply to yours as well in detail, just let me know.)
I'm also willing to answer any further questions, or even questionnaires if you have any good ones. I'll probably ask follow-up questions if I get some sort of interesting type suggestion.
RadicalDoubt Questionnaire
1) Context:
a) What is your age range and general location (Country so that cultural values can be taken into account)? Do you have any impairments that may affect the way that you answer this questionnaire? Any religious or political beliefs (or anything else along those lines) that also might have an effect?
b) Which types are you currently considering? Why are you considering them and why haven’t you decided on one?
I’m skipping the context questions because I don’t find them relevant, but I am a young adult and in case cultural values do matter, I am of Asian descent and living in the United States.
2) What do you deem as your purpose in life?
That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I believe that life inherently has no purpose and people construct purposes for themselves. Be it through their families, or careers, or passions, or spirituality.
Meanwhile, I cannot find anything that makes me want to keep living. Sure, I have passions and such, but they cannot take the place of a purpose in my life. I sort of feel like a piece of trash randomly floating around without any meaning. I’d love to change that outlook, but living in a world such as this one just seems utterly pointless to me.
3) Of the seven deadly sins, which one(s) do you relate to the most and the least and why?
I relate most to wrath. I am a very vengeful and bitter person. I believe I have a lot to be angry about in my life.
Envy is a close second. The grass is always greener and it always seems like to me that everyone’s lives are way better than mine. I tend to focus on these shortcomings and become angry at others just because they have more than me. Then I perceive my life to not be worth living because I’m far behind in life than everyone else.
I don’t really relate to greed. I’m quite ambitious and there are some things I really want in life, but I wouldn’t stoop down so low to achieve those things.
4) Analyzing your relationships with others, briefly describe:
a) The type of people you are drawn to
I’m most drawn to people with similar interests and passions. I can get along with different personalities as long as we have some common foundational topic to discuss.
b) The type of people who are drawn to you
No one is ever really drawn to me. Except maybe online… so random Internet introverts. We wouldn’t even talk in person.
c) The type of people you are repulsed by
That would be most people.
But really, the most repulsive people to me are fake. Those who knowingly pretend to be someone they’re not. Especially if I can tell that they’re lying outright to my face.
5)What are the traits in others that you admire but you cannot emulate yourself? Elaborate.
Charisma. It almost seems like people are born with that… and I just wasn’t. I’m closed-off and unlikable and I don’t make very good first impressions. Despite my social anxiety, I’ve trained myself to get better at small talking over the years, but I’m still not very charismatic. I do admire some people who are good at talking but I can’t seem to become more like them.
Innovation. It would be so cool if I could come up with new ideas and be able to present them to the public, but I am not that creative. Even when I try to brainstorm new ideas and other things, mine are never interesting or have already been done.
6) Describe your relationship with the following:
a) Anger
Anger is a pretty big part of my life. I’m angry about nearly everything in some way. I guess I deal with two forms of anger regularly. First are my daily irritations that piss the fuck out of me but I get over quickly. Makes my blood boil but I cook down nearly as quickly.
However, I am also a very vengeful person. Whenever I perceive some form of “injustice†done to me (i.e. bullying, someone messing with a loved one, etc.) I will harbor a grudge for years. I’ve been mad at certain things for over ten years and whenever I think about it I’m still almost as mad (if not more) as I was when it happened.
I don’t really have a good way of dealing with my anger besides stewing in it. Sometimes it spills out and I accidentally take it out on the people around me even though they don’t deserve it. Sometimes I have a bunch of revenge fantasies that I rarely ever do. Mostly it just consumes a lot of my energy and I’m left miserable.
b) Shame
Shame is a large part of my life, and integral to my identity. I find myself to be very flawed as a person, I am deeply embarrassed of who I am. I want to be perfect but I am far from it.
I’m not sure how to deal with my shame as it has been internalized too deeply, but it usually manifests as self-deprecation and victimization. I’ve tried adapting to become a less shameful person, but I am terrible at changing, so I’ve given up on that. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to accept myself because the shame is too much.
c) Fear
I’m a very fearful person. A ton of things give me anxiety. Especially anything to do with social situations or the potential of me failing.
I think I can deal with fear a lot better than shame or anger, though. I like to prepare for the worst and to troubleshoot. I read and read and read about these problems to gather as much information as I can. I constantly search for guidance and assurance from trusted sources that I am heading toward the right path (and I sound like a stereotype for a specific enneagram head type right now, I know).
d) Love/passion
I don’t really know what love is. I don’t believe I’ve ever fallen in love. I care deeply about several people in my immediate family, though. I’m not sure I can love anyone unless I knew they unconditionally loved me back. But what do I know? I’ve never been given the chance.
Passion is something else. I dive in deep into my favorite interests. I want to absorb every part of them. I become obsessed with activities and certain things to the point they become a part of me. And I don’t have any regrets.
e) Conflict
Life is just one big conflict after another. I have no choice but to deal with it. I go through phases of dealing with them head-on because I know that’s what I must do, and retreating to hide because I’m too afraid to do anything or find myself too incapable to do so. I am both fight, and flight/freeze.
7) What are some of the themes that have played a prominent role in your life (ie. A struggle you’ve been unable to conquer, etc)?
Longing is probably the biggest theme. I think that my life could be so much more than it currently is. I always want more than what I have and envy those who have what I want. Even when I get what I want, I find more things to desire. I’ve had people tell me that I’m blessed in what I have, but I can’t help but fixate on the ways I perceive myself to be cursed.
8) What is your area of work/study? Why did you choose this and would you change it? If so, what would be your ideal?After a few changes in my course of study, I graduated college with a bachelor of arts in marketing and communications. I chose this after not knowing what I wanted to do my first couple of years and settling on accounting, but then realized that accounting made me really want to kill myself. So I wouldn’t have to tack on an extra year I needed to take something within the business program, and marketing seemed least shitty. I pursued a focus in communications to cultivate my love for writing. My degree is alright, I just wish I never tried accounting.
Currently, I work as a reports analyst for a security company. This job is completely fine with me, I’m honestly just happy that I have a secure job in this current “climate.†I don’t intend to stay here forever, of course, but it could be a good stepping stone to other career paths in the future. I’d love to be a book editor someday.
9) When meeting a new person, what do you tend to focus on?
I focus on myself… How the person is treating me. If they don’t afford me the decency and respect that I try to afford everyone I first meet, they aren’t worth speaking to and I will be riled up about the meeting for a while. I also focus a lot on my anxiety about meeting a new person, because this is always a scary thing to do.
10) How do you feel about humanity as a whole? What do you feel are some of the biggest problems the human race faces and why?
Humanity disgusts me. I find humans to be inherently evil, selfish, and oppressive of the weak and vulnerable, as part of human nature. What irks me even more is when they try to cover it up with good deeds, political activism and any seemingly artificial “concern†for others. I think these kinds of people keep pretending progress is happening, but it isn’t, or like progress can happen, but I know it won’t. I’m also not a fan of “sheep†thinking.
I like (very few individuals), but when people are put together in groups, it just sits the wrong way with me.
11) What are some of your hobbies and interests?
Music: I love to sing (even though I dislike my voice). I get obsessive about my favorite bands and songs, playing them to the high heavens. Keeping track of every piece of music that I listen to and what I think about it.
Martial arts: I practice krav maga and I’m obsessed. I do it as much as I can and it energizes me. I’m trying to master it as best I can before I move onto other fighting styles, but I love reading about any form of martial arts.
Writing: You probably can’t tell from this questionnaire, but I’m really into creative writing. I absolutely love writing poetry and short stories. It’s probably the most effective way I can express myself, which is necessary since sometimes I have a hard time translating my thoughts into spoken words.
12) How do you usually “hang out†with your friend(s)? When answering, think about what activities you tend to choose, whether you hang out with one person at once or many, whether or not you initiate the interaction.
What friends?
Any IRL social interaction I can get is a blessing that rarely occurs, and I never initiate. So, I usually hang out with people through online means of communication.
13) What is more important, actions or words? Why?
I think both are important, but I place more emphasis on action.
I’m tired of people lying to me and breaking promises. I’ve heard too many words that weren’t followed up by actions, and I just can’t trust what most people say anymore.
However, words on their own can be very powerful. That’s why books are so important. Although I suppose writing is an action…
I think actions themselves speak a lot louder than most words, which is why I place more emphasis on them. I’m a quiet person and I’ll try to keep to my word as best as I can. I try to be honest about what I say and make sure that it matches up to what I do.
14) Oh dear, you’ve been cursed by a witch! It’s ok though, you get a choice on which curse you will receive. Will you choose….
a) To never be able to experience the sensation of taste
b) To be immortal
c) To lose your memories
d) To be poor for the rest of your life
e) Or to never experience passion
Elaborate on why!
A couple of these curses actually seem like blessings. C sounds tempting, because in a way, losing my memories would allow me to start life over as a new person. I wouldn’t remember anything that makes me feel ashamed of myself and thus hinders me from accomplishing more in life. However, if I never experienced the sensation of taste, I wouldn’t go through phases of gluttony and I’d only have to eat to survive. This doesn’t sound bad at all, not nearly as bad as any other option here. I’d pick A.
B sounds like the worst possible option. I barely like living right now, I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I could never die. D just sounds like suffering for the rest of my life, everyone knows how much torture it is to be poor. I’m not rich right now but I appreciate living comfortably. I wouldn’t want E either, because my passions are a big thing keeping me from going absolutely insane and I don’t know what I’d do without them.
15) What do you hope to avoid being? If it helps, describe a person who embodies what you avoid/you as a villain, ect.
Fake, unreliable, shallow, easily blinded by authority and the things that people say to me.
16) How do you relate to obsession? Do you tend to "merge" with others or your interests? How do you feel about the idea of doing this?
I am easily obsessed. I think I’ve discussed it a bit in my previous answers.
I do “merge†with my interests; my interests are more than just interests to me and I don’t see the point in living if I do not live like this.
I am stuck between sp/sx and sx/sp as my variants. I’ve had more people tell me that I seem more like an sp-dom, but a couple of online friends into typology have told me that I radiate sx. I think I am very sx in my interests but not so much within people. So I’m curious about what people think especially about my variants and will answer any follow-up questions about that.
17) Organized or messy? Plans and blueprints or impulse and surprises? What are your preferences and tendencies?
Not a huge fan of MBTI dichotomy, but I’m right on the cusp of J and P. I’m equal parts organized and messy, they just show up in different parts of my life. My car looks like a dumpster, but I have a really elaborate system of keeping track of all the music I’ve listened to and how I would personally rate them on a scale of 1-10. I like making plans for big things, but doing little things on impulse.
18) How do you subjectively view comfort and how do you create comfort in your life and surroundings?
Comfort means that I feel free of pain, and also I feel that I belong. I thus try to situate myself in situations where this definition applies. I don’t really make new surroundings as much as I try to find ones that suit me. For example, I retreat to my house or car whenever I need comfort because they are familiar to me. Or I go somewhere that I find fun, like the martial arts school.
Mayflower Questionnaire
1. During your youth (7'ish to 18), What did you focus on the most? What activities did you like and why? What aspect of life was lax in attention?
I focused on school, fun, and my family the most. I liked the academic aspect of school because I was good at it without having to study really. Fun for me was video games, mostly. And for my younger years, playing with random toys, anything from Legos to Barbies. I also liked writing a lot even back then. My family were the only people I could rely on, so I focused on them too.
My (nonexistent) social life was lax in attention. During my youth, I was an outcast and that did not sit well with me. I was either bullied or ignored by my peers. If someone somehow did hang out with me, they would soon betray/leave me, or otherwise treat me poorly. I had no true friends during this time. And I had no idea to change this. I still don’t.
2. You're in your senior year of high school (or whatever equivalent) and you are looking back over the last couple of years. What was your favorite aspect of the schooling experience and why? Favorite subject and why?
My senior year of high school was notably less shitty than my previous high school experience because I moved to an alternative school for gifted children and they accepted me more. Back then, I was pretty happy about the change. It was nice to not be treated like trash on a daily basis.
My favorite subject was actually math. Statistics in particular. No basis other than it came naturally to me. None of my high school classes particularly intrigued me.
3. A couple of friends call and invite you out to a restaurant. While there, you all are pleasantly conversing and one of your friends makes a comment that irked you. What are your thoughts and how do you respond?
I can’t imagine being in a restaurant with multiple friends, but yikes. I’d be annoyed and I’d probably point out that I thought the comment was shitty. If my friend wants to make an argument about it, I’d probably start ghosting them for a while. Depending on how irksome the comment was, and whether my friend were willing to apologize (yes, I recognize it could be my fault, but I ain’t apologizing), I’d probably start hanging out with them eventually. If not, then that sucks.
4. Your schooling is done and it's time to strike out into the world!! What sort of career do you want to go into and why?
Like I said earlier, I’d love to be an editor. Writing is one of my passions, but I wouldn’t want a career in it because I’d enjoy it a lot less. I think that editing is close enough to my passion for me to enjoy it, but not too close that I’d start associating writing with work. I hope that makes sense; for an aspiring writer, I’ve never been the best at expressing myself coherently.
Basically, I want a job that makes me enough to live comfortably (I don’t need to be rich), but doesn’t make me want to kill myself. I think professional editing can do that if I work for the right company.
5. A friend is getting married and they put you in charge of the cake. You narrowed it down to two places to make an order. The first is a bakery with whom you got a good relationship with. The other is a well-known cake maker to whom everyone goes to (your friend hints to it as well). Which one do you choose and why?
I don’t know. The thing that matters most is how much I enjoy the taste of the cake. I can’t tell how good the cake would taste based on how these two options are described. A good relationship with the owner shouldn’t matter, nor the reputation. And I’d honestly probably be too dumb to get the hint my friend suggested unless they explicitly said it. So really, my answer would be whichever cake I think tastes better. There is no chance of me finding them to taste exactly the same in quality. Sorry for the cheap answer.
6. You get into an argument with a friend/family member/co-worker. They criticize one of your personality traits. What would most likely be the focus of their critique?
Whenever this happens, I usually get accused of being stubborn. I have a hard time understanding others’ points of view. I won’t get it unless they explain it in a way that makes sense to me (and even then, I usually won’t agree). This makes me difficult to get along with during arguments and such, and frustrates family members a lot.
7. It's New Years! You and your friends are out and about after a party. Being drunk, one of your friends suggests to do something....'questionable' (Nothing serious. I.e, drugs, escort, etc.). What are your thoughts and how do you respond?
First of all, I can’t really imagine myself going to a New Year party with friends. Anyway, I don’t really have anything against “victimless†crimes so I wouldn’t really judge my friend for wanting to do drugs or an escort. However, I’m stuck in my ways easily so I’d probably be too scared to try any drugs. Now an escort… I’ve been tempted to try that anyway because I think I’m headed toward being a permavirgin and an escort seems like a less anxiety-inducing way. I’d probably chicken out and leave if I were given the option.
8. A new art gallery opens up and your friend wants to go to the grand opening. Both of you analyze all the paintings and sculptures. What about these works warrants the most attention from you? Why?
I’m honestly not very deep when it comes to paintings and sculptures. I often fail to grasp the deeper meaning, so I judge visual art by how they look. I am most attracted to art that presents a similar aesthetic to what is ideal in my mind. So I would pay most attention to art that is gothic and dark, I understand it much better.
9. You have been saving up and decide to buy a new car. At the dealership, you peruse the lots. What are the criteria and factors that influence your choice? Which one would initially be your main focus?
Sounds fun. First of all, I’d have to look into the price, which would be my main focus. I definitely don’t want to buy a car that’s out of my price range. I’d have to check out some different cars and compare the sort of features each vehicle has to offer, and probably test out my top few choices.
To verify my choices, since I’m not a car expert, I’d honestly read opinions of people who are more into cars online if possible, or ask people I know in person about cars. I wouldn’t trust the salesman since I know he really wants to sell these cars and would probably say anything.
10. Yep, you now have a kid (sex of your choosing)! Years pass and they are now 15 years old. You notice their personality traits are the complete opposite of how you were when at their age. Describe how they are. Describe the possible conflicts that would arise between both of you due to differing temperaments.
My kid would be a confident little lady(or man)killer. They’d love themself even more than I could as a parent. They’d have a lot of friends and romantic relationships, yet they would feel completely secure in bravely and independently making their own decisions. They wouldn’t rely so much on the words of others; therefore, the tiniest bit of criticism wouldn’t crush them like it has crushed me.
I’m not sure how the conflicts would be. Since I’ve always been quite reactive, I’d imagine that my kid would be less so. And they’d also be more understanding than I am of people different than myself. If my kid were the complete opposite of me, they’d know best for themself and probably even help me to see the errors of my ways.
