Burning Paradigm
Vibe Curator & Night Owl
- Joined
- May 16, 2020
- Messages
- 2,142
- MBTI Type
- ENTP
- Enneagram
- 731
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/so
While I’m confident in my Enneagram tritype and instincts now (s/o to [MENTION=35566]Luminous[/MENTION], [MENTION=34313]RadicalDoubt[/MENTION], and others), I’m still having trouble deciphering and figuring out my MBTI type. I might add a video if I get around to it, because sometimes face-to-face interaction can provide additional cues into cognitive processes that text doesn’t. Much appreciation in advance (I know it's long, but I try to be detailed)!
Personal concepts (This is my longest section)
1. What is beauty? What is love? I think physical beauty (in a person, picture, etc.) comes from a place of authenticity. I don’t know what it is, but for me, if someone’s a genuine, authentic, confident person, that makes them all the more beautiful outwardly as well (but, that’s not to say I ignore physical attractiveness; I’m human after all *wink*). Similarly, the best photographs are crisp, clear, and convey the photographer’s sense of connection to the environment or scene at that moment (but, I hate family photo albums, if I’m being honest haha). On a more abstract level, beauty is anything that evokes within you a desire to change yourself or the world around you or challenges in thinking.
2. What are your most important values? Two (sort of) disclaimers: 1) My values are something I’ve discovered more over time through reading and reflection or personal experience; even if I can’t verbalize or summarize them succinctly, they’re something I feel deeply. 2) Regardless of the values I espouse, I believe it’s important to live an ethically consistent life, an area where I’ve fallen painfully short many times. That being said, I’d say my top most important values are compassion, inclusion/firm rejection of bigotry, optimism, and empiricism. By empiricism, I mean it’s important to have values that are backed by reason and evidence; this means being open to the possibility of being wrong and modifying your beliefs over time in the face of new evidence. Sometimes, the latter is more difficult to do when you have a defining framework about how something works or what’s the right thing to do, and I’ve had problems with that in the past lol.
3. Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place? Oooooh boy, has this been a trip. Currently, I feel comfortable identifying myself as part of religious identity (not disclosing), but it was an interesting journey. I’m in my early 20s, but I became an atheist early on in high school; I felt religion was an enslaving institution, one from which logic and reason were absconded and people were judged and moralized for petty errors and human nature. While I have religious parents and they are good people, I formed this judgment by reading and absorbing ideas. To me, it just seemed that religion, by its nature, made an absolutist claim on the world and formed toxic in-groups and out-groups at best. Long story short, what changed was starting my actual exploration of different religions and recognizing the nuances within the original religious texts and the diversity of interpretation. Additionally, I go to school in a college town, so the vibes of my faith’s community there were different and largely free of the cultural and interpersonal baggage back home. While the sense of community is nice, my progressive interpretation of the faith sometimes puts me at odds with some of my peers, but I prefer honest (but respectful) disagreement.
4. Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you? I understand the necessity of war in the abstract for defensive purposes; but, in my view, most wars have been anything but “defensiveâ€. In the past, it was acceptable to wage war with overt imperial or conquest ambitions. In the modern-day, most wars and military actions are waged under the pretense of national security. But, “national security†as it’s practiced today has three problems: 1) It doesn’t address real security threats; 2) It believes all issues can be solved through military means, even though military institutions themselves would often disagree; 3) It fabricates or manufactures security threats to target a certain demographic, give politicians the image of being “tough and decisiveâ€, and/or protect the ruling class. In a more formal power role (in business, elected officials, etc.) the restraint the person in power uses or the decisions they make reflect the decision maker's character (e.g. if you make the tough decision to lay off employees, but compassionately explain and offer yourself as a resource, that speaks volumes). But, to me, power is also in part about the image and values you project, and that can occur in a formal or informal roles. When we discover and live out/advocate our values, that represents a sort of personal power as well in terms of setting an example for others or overcoming obstacles.
Interests
5. What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why? Politics, social issues, religion, spirituality; I want to know what my friends and circles think about the world around us. Sports, because I like the analytics and human interest sides of it. While I enjoy interacting and helping friends with personal issues or feelings, I have trouble reciprocating and articulating these feelings myself.
6. Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body? I like talking about it on the abstract, larger level (e.g. how health policy can affect health outcomes, interesting advances in medical technology, etc.). I don’t care for talking about diets; I just end up feeling bad that I should be living a more nutritious life.
7. What do you think of daily chores? I hate them with a burning passion, and yet I can’t stand my personal space not being clean or livable. Most of the time, I distract myself by listening to music and dancing while doing chores, and that makes it more enjoyable.
8. Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome. In recent years, I think I’ve been more drawn to nonfiction books on history, politics, and science, but I’ll talk about some of my favorite fiction. The Alienist and its sequel The Angel of Darkness are fantastic historical thrillers. I felt like I was absorbed within the political, social, and intellectual environments of late 19th-century New York, at time an observer and at times an active participant in catching serial killers. I really like novels that can cross genres or push genre boundaries; to me, there’s no better genre for that than historical fiction. Some other books I’d classify as genre-bending historical fiction are Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, For Whom The Bell Tolls, War and Peace, The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, The Golem and the Jinni and The Underground Railroad. I also like James Michener’s novels; very interesting to see the panoramic history of a place through the eyes of a family or other descendants. Other “classics†I like are 1984, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Dracula, Lord of the Rings, and Anna Karenina (Confession: I’ve struggled with Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, and other British “classic†writers). I also recently finished The Autobiography of Malcolm X and came away fascinated and uncomfortable; I saw the unfiltered evolution of a misunderstood, controversial figure in Malcolm X while my own views on race and civil rights in America were challenged.
9. What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why? I’ve cried or felt deep sorrow when: 1) in a confrontation with someone who I feel has disrespected or frustrated me, or 2) I think about such a tragic situation where nothing can be done to help the person (either someone I know or something I’ve read about). What makes me smile is when I suddenly see the larger picture behind something, understand a concept I had difficulty comprehending before, or have a reason to feel optimistic about the future of own my own life or something I’m part of (like a community or organization I’m part of).
10. Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging? Mmmm, this is a tough one. I feel a greater sense of belonging within intimate friend circles or in groups/organizations where I feel like I have great personal influence. But, in almost every group, I feel a little bit like a contrarian (never on purpose) or outsider at one point or another. I think I’ve gotten along with different (but largely homogenous) groups of people in my life and had many varying interests; so, I always feel like an “odd-one-out†in some respect (whether or not that’s true). While I sometimes wish I didn’t feel that way, I see it as a sign that my thinking, experiences, and opinions are truly my own, if that makes sense.
Evaluation & Behaviour
11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself? 1) I have the mouth of a sailor lmao; what constitutes “bad language†is relative, but I can sprinkle one too many “fucks†and “shits†loosely in casual conversation. Truthfully, I don’t think that’s changing anytime soon. 2) I’m okay with criticism of my work, but I can be reactive or sensitive at the moment to personal criticism I feel is unfounded or coming from bad faith. 3) I don’t like how I shift wildly between being apathetic to certain tasks and perfectionistic in others; 4) Similarly, I switch between being nonchalant and guilty when I feel I’ve done something that violates my values or principles.
12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself? What people have told me: 1) I’m an able, charismatic public speaker. 2) I’m good at switching “on†and “offâ€, the former being my normally laid-back, goofy personality, the latter the ability to be a competent, unifying leader when need be. 3) I’m easy and non-judgmental to talk to (interpret as you will). What I like about me is a little different: 1) I can hold my own in a discussion, knowing how to acknowledge or even concede to opposing points without conceding the integrity of the argument; 2) I try to be understanding of where the other person’s coming from in disagreements (for the most part); 3) I can balance out having fun while not crossing any personal boundaries or moral limits; 4) I try to show my utmost gratitude when someone helps me out, especially because I usually try to solve my problems myself and I’m cognizant of imposing on someone’s time.
13. In what areas of your life would you like help? I suppose relationship and dating would be one area; I’ve had a bumpy history at relationship attempts, usually because of rejection on the other end or going on dates that prove mind-numbing. I attribute this to high ideals and expectations/an impatience to reach that ideal phase that I get burned out or bored. Additionally, being in my 20s, there’s still a more than needed self-consciousness about attractiveness, yada yada.
14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it. Yeah, when I listen to the same 50 songs on Spotify for an extended period of time.
People & Interactions
15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with? I dislike: 1) People who are just critical no matter what; one of my roommates last summer was this guy who was a die-hard Marxist-Leninist. ANY time you talked to him about politics or agreed with something he said, he’d criticize you for not agreeing his way. When you asked “What do you want to do about it?â€, he’d just find a way to turn it back on criticizing you while claiming he was critiquing your ideas. 2) People who are brash and arrogant in general. I'm drawn to humble, self-deprecating, grounded people. These types of people tend to bring out the best in me and encourage me to work for the good of something larger than myself. If it weren't for this attitude, I wouldn't have answered my purpose question the way I did.
16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner? Sex, heard it’s pretty dope
A part of me wants to just have sex for the hell/thrill of it, but the other part of me wants to have it with someone I have a deep-seated connection to/relationship with. The latter is better in the long-term, but the inner conflict remains. In a partner, I want someone who shares my sense of humor and I can laugh with, shares at least some of my interests, and can talk about more difficult or confusing personal subjects with.
17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why? Coming from a background, as many have, where there was more emphasis on traditions, I want my child to not be afraid to acknowledge rather than suppress their feelings (esp. if it’s a son; men struggle with this more on average, I feel like) and to be a lifelong learner. One thing my dad did was read to me, give me a lot of books, and take me to museums as a kid; I want to replicate that aspect of parenting.
18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction? I think it depends on the belief: If it’s the nuances of taxation or something brought up in good faith, I bring up my counterpoint, usually in the form of a question. If it’s something outrageously bigoted, I withdraw and question the friendship before challenging the belief later on (I’m learning to be more direct in challenging these types of sentiments with recent events in the world).
19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one. I can’t say how people as a whole see me, but I don’t think it’s too different from my responses to Q11 and Q12.
20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them? Truthfully, I’ve made most of my friends through formal groups i.e. school and organizations within school. But, the ones I’ve cultivated long-term friendships with, I switch between acting goofy/joking around and talking about our thoughts on the wider world around us.
21. How do you behave around strangers? It’s weird; I’m more reserved around large groups of strangers if it’s a party or something but have little issue speaking/making announcements in front of crowds of strangers. Usually, I’m more comfortable talking to strangers in a more one-on-one way (e.g. introducing myself if someone sits next to me in class, introducing myself to newcomers in a group I’m established in, or introducing myself as a newcomer to someone in an unfamiliar setting like a party).
Personal concepts (This is my longest section)
1. What is beauty? What is love? I think physical beauty (in a person, picture, etc.) comes from a place of authenticity. I don’t know what it is, but for me, if someone’s a genuine, authentic, confident person, that makes them all the more beautiful outwardly as well (but, that’s not to say I ignore physical attractiveness; I’m human after all *wink*). Similarly, the best photographs are crisp, clear, and convey the photographer’s sense of connection to the environment or scene at that moment (but, I hate family photo albums, if I’m being honest haha). On a more abstract level, beauty is anything that evokes within you a desire to change yourself or the world around you or challenges in thinking.
2. What are your most important values? Two (sort of) disclaimers: 1) My values are something I’ve discovered more over time through reading and reflection or personal experience; even if I can’t verbalize or summarize them succinctly, they’re something I feel deeply. 2) Regardless of the values I espouse, I believe it’s important to live an ethically consistent life, an area where I’ve fallen painfully short many times. That being said, I’d say my top most important values are compassion, inclusion/firm rejection of bigotry, optimism, and empiricism. By empiricism, I mean it’s important to have values that are backed by reason and evidence; this means being open to the possibility of being wrong and modifying your beliefs over time in the face of new evidence. Sometimes, the latter is more difficult to do when you have a defining framework about how something works or what’s the right thing to do, and I’ve had problems with that in the past lol.
3. Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place? Oooooh boy, has this been a trip. Currently, I feel comfortable identifying myself as part of religious identity (not disclosing), but it was an interesting journey. I’m in my early 20s, but I became an atheist early on in high school; I felt religion was an enslaving institution, one from which logic and reason were absconded and people were judged and moralized for petty errors and human nature. While I have religious parents and they are good people, I formed this judgment by reading and absorbing ideas. To me, it just seemed that religion, by its nature, made an absolutist claim on the world and formed toxic in-groups and out-groups at best. Long story short, what changed was starting my actual exploration of different religions and recognizing the nuances within the original religious texts and the diversity of interpretation. Additionally, I go to school in a college town, so the vibes of my faith’s community there were different and largely free of the cultural and interpersonal baggage back home. While the sense of community is nice, my progressive interpretation of the faith sometimes puts me at odds with some of my peers, but I prefer honest (but respectful) disagreement.
4. Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you? I understand the necessity of war in the abstract for defensive purposes; but, in my view, most wars have been anything but “defensiveâ€. In the past, it was acceptable to wage war with overt imperial or conquest ambitions. In the modern-day, most wars and military actions are waged under the pretense of national security. But, “national security†as it’s practiced today has three problems: 1) It doesn’t address real security threats; 2) It believes all issues can be solved through military means, even though military institutions themselves would often disagree; 3) It fabricates or manufactures security threats to target a certain demographic, give politicians the image of being “tough and decisiveâ€, and/or protect the ruling class. In a more formal power role (in business, elected officials, etc.) the restraint the person in power uses or the decisions they make reflect the decision maker's character (e.g. if you make the tough decision to lay off employees, but compassionately explain and offer yourself as a resource, that speaks volumes). But, to me, power is also in part about the image and values you project, and that can occur in a formal or informal roles. When we discover and live out/advocate our values, that represents a sort of personal power as well in terms of setting an example for others or overcoming obstacles.
Interests
5. What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why? Politics, social issues, religion, spirituality; I want to know what my friends and circles think about the world around us. Sports, because I like the analytics and human interest sides of it. While I enjoy interacting and helping friends with personal issues or feelings, I have trouble reciprocating and articulating these feelings myself.
6. Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body? I like talking about it on the abstract, larger level (e.g. how health policy can affect health outcomes, interesting advances in medical technology, etc.). I don’t care for talking about diets; I just end up feeling bad that I should be living a more nutritious life.
7. What do you think of daily chores? I hate them with a burning passion, and yet I can’t stand my personal space not being clean or livable. Most of the time, I distract myself by listening to music and dancing while doing chores, and that makes it more enjoyable.
8. Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome. In recent years, I think I’ve been more drawn to nonfiction books on history, politics, and science, but I’ll talk about some of my favorite fiction. The Alienist and its sequel The Angel of Darkness are fantastic historical thrillers. I felt like I was absorbed within the political, social, and intellectual environments of late 19th-century New York, at time an observer and at times an active participant in catching serial killers. I really like novels that can cross genres or push genre boundaries; to me, there’s no better genre for that than historical fiction. Some other books I’d classify as genre-bending historical fiction are Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, For Whom The Bell Tolls, War and Peace, The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, The Golem and the Jinni and The Underground Railroad. I also like James Michener’s novels; very interesting to see the panoramic history of a place through the eyes of a family or other descendants. Other “classics†I like are 1984, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Dracula, Lord of the Rings, and Anna Karenina (Confession: I’ve struggled with Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, and other British “classic†writers). I also recently finished The Autobiography of Malcolm X and came away fascinated and uncomfortable; I saw the unfiltered evolution of a misunderstood, controversial figure in Malcolm X while my own views on race and civil rights in America were challenged.
9. What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why? I’ve cried or felt deep sorrow when: 1) in a confrontation with someone who I feel has disrespected or frustrated me, or 2) I think about such a tragic situation where nothing can be done to help the person (either someone I know or something I’ve read about). What makes me smile is when I suddenly see the larger picture behind something, understand a concept I had difficulty comprehending before, or have a reason to feel optimistic about the future of own my own life or something I’m part of (like a community or organization I’m part of).
10. Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging? Mmmm, this is a tough one. I feel a greater sense of belonging within intimate friend circles or in groups/organizations where I feel like I have great personal influence. But, in almost every group, I feel a little bit like a contrarian (never on purpose) or outsider at one point or another. I think I’ve gotten along with different (but largely homogenous) groups of people in my life and had many varying interests; so, I always feel like an “odd-one-out†in some respect (whether or not that’s true). While I sometimes wish I didn’t feel that way, I see it as a sign that my thinking, experiences, and opinions are truly my own, if that makes sense.
Evaluation & Behaviour
11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself? 1) I have the mouth of a sailor lmao; what constitutes “bad language†is relative, but I can sprinkle one too many “fucks†and “shits†loosely in casual conversation. Truthfully, I don’t think that’s changing anytime soon. 2) I’m okay with criticism of my work, but I can be reactive or sensitive at the moment to personal criticism I feel is unfounded or coming from bad faith. 3) I don’t like how I shift wildly between being apathetic to certain tasks and perfectionistic in others; 4) Similarly, I switch between being nonchalant and guilty when I feel I’ve done something that violates my values or principles.
12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself? What people have told me: 1) I’m an able, charismatic public speaker. 2) I’m good at switching “on†and “offâ€, the former being my normally laid-back, goofy personality, the latter the ability to be a competent, unifying leader when need be. 3) I’m easy and non-judgmental to talk to (interpret as you will). What I like about me is a little different: 1) I can hold my own in a discussion, knowing how to acknowledge or even concede to opposing points without conceding the integrity of the argument; 2) I try to be understanding of where the other person’s coming from in disagreements (for the most part); 3) I can balance out having fun while not crossing any personal boundaries or moral limits; 4) I try to show my utmost gratitude when someone helps me out, especially because I usually try to solve my problems myself and I’m cognizant of imposing on someone’s time.
13. In what areas of your life would you like help? I suppose relationship and dating would be one area; I’ve had a bumpy history at relationship attempts, usually because of rejection on the other end or going on dates that prove mind-numbing. I attribute this to high ideals and expectations/an impatience to reach that ideal phase that I get burned out or bored. Additionally, being in my 20s, there’s still a more than needed self-consciousness about attractiveness, yada yada.
14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it. Yeah, when I listen to the same 50 songs on Spotify for an extended period of time.
People & Interactions
15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with? I dislike: 1) People who are just critical no matter what; one of my roommates last summer was this guy who was a die-hard Marxist-Leninist. ANY time you talked to him about politics or agreed with something he said, he’d criticize you for not agreeing his way. When you asked “What do you want to do about it?â€, he’d just find a way to turn it back on criticizing you while claiming he was critiquing your ideas. 2) People who are brash and arrogant in general. I'm drawn to humble, self-deprecating, grounded people. These types of people tend to bring out the best in me and encourage me to work for the good of something larger than myself. If it weren't for this attitude, I wouldn't have answered my purpose question the way I did.
16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner? Sex, heard it’s pretty dope
A part of me wants to just have sex for the hell/thrill of it, but the other part of me wants to have it with someone I have a deep-seated connection to/relationship with. The latter is better in the long-term, but the inner conflict remains. In a partner, I want someone who shares my sense of humor and I can laugh with, shares at least some of my interests, and can talk about more difficult or confusing personal subjects with. 17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why? Coming from a background, as many have, where there was more emphasis on traditions, I want my child to not be afraid to acknowledge rather than suppress their feelings (esp. if it’s a son; men struggle with this more on average, I feel like) and to be a lifelong learner. One thing my dad did was read to me, give me a lot of books, and take me to museums as a kid; I want to replicate that aspect of parenting.
18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction? I think it depends on the belief: If it’s the nuances of taxation or something brought up in good faith, I bring up my counterpoint, usually in the form of a question. If it’s something outrageously bigoted, I withdraw and question the friendship before challenging the belief later on (I’m learning to be more direct in challenging these types of sentiments with recent events in the world).
19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one. I can’t say how people as a whole see me, but I don’t think it’s too different from my responses to Q11 and Q12.
20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them? Truthfully, I’ve made most of my friends through formal groups i.e. school and organizations within school. But, the ones I’ve cultivated long-term friendships with, I switch between acting goofy/joking around and talking about our thoughts on the wider world around us.
21. How do you behave around strangers? It’s weird; I’m more reserved around large groups of strangers if it’s a party or something but have little issue speaking/making announcements in front of crowds of strangers. Usually, I’m more comfortable talking to strangers in a more one-on-one way (e.g. introducing myself if someone sits next to me in class, introducing myself to newcomers in a group I’m established in, or introducing myself as a newcomer to someone in an unfamiliar setting like a party).
