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Can't figure out my type, keep going in a never ending cycle

parkalop

New member
Joined
Dec 19, 2019
Messages
23
- To clarify I've researched and looked at a multiple typology systems and just when I think I've discovered a final conclusion, I honestly don't even trust myself to really type myself anymore and I thing on a subconscious level I probably intentionally over value certain aspects of myself to alleviate certain weakness's of myself not just as a way to discover a glimpse of my true personality of maybe simply a persona that I've veiled over myself, maybe it's a portion of my psyche that naturally defends against the truth as a way of maintaining some level of internal sanity within myself. I don't really know anymore.

-Honestly I've always wanted to craft an identity of myself despite what temperance my brain might be naturally inclined to adhere to, Hence why when I was younger I would detach myself from reality and pretend to be characters or just create characters of my own to mask myself as. This isn't in the traditional sense of a normal child, I would believe I was the character and subjectively lens the world through what my cultivated character would be like. In some ways I admire typology as a foot stone for the eventual truth for what could be the mind but nothing more not a final conclusion of the patterns of the human brain only what we can currently observe, strangely enough however I think some inner part of me revolts in disgust at typology as whole as I'm afraid that my mind is only one set of dichotomies and it terrifies me that i'm limited(I know it's a strange fear).

- I've been typed a lot of things, INTP, ENTP, ISTP, INFP, ENTJ, INTJ, basically everything but ESTJ,ESFJ, and ISTJ most of these typing's occurred on an voice call, if it helps I do have ADHD. I used to have and still to a mild degree have anger issues, when I go into an outburst I normally calm myself down after a short period of time and go back to normal hence why I thought Se could be a possibility because of that but then I looked at shadow functions and realized that I may not be Ne Polr.

-Tell me what functions you identify throughout the text sorry if it seems a bit disjointed. When I was a child I was extremely optimistic about everything around me heck school up until 3rd grade was a sanctuary through my lens. I was always asking questions about the world around me but was usually rejected by many of my other students I quickly morphed when I learned of how poor the school system was as a whole transforming into the cynical and slightly neurotic self that I am now.

-I've always found strange comfort in intangible ideas and concepts like Lovecraft novels and eldritch horror. I was never truly terrified but more or less granted with the clarity of openness and the pursuit for mystery as I realized that the pursuit of knowledge is basically an endless sea.
 
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