type me and AMA

[Opal Star]

I would say that triple idealistic (1w2 - 4w3 - 7w6) fits you. SX 1 is fitting. I think that ENFP is rather fitting with your MBTI type. Your Te is too high to be your inferior function. If I had to take a stab at your instinctual variants, I’d say SX/SP.

 

[Morpeko]

Sorry, I forgot to reply to this a while ago. I'm doing so on mobile so this is gonna be a bit difficult. And my typings suck but this is how I do them.

[MENTION=32874]Vendrah[/MENTION] [MENTION=34313]RadicalDoubt[/MENTION] just retagging ya for the questionnaire XD Thank you! I also note I get xSFJ typing a lot, and I get Fi-dom often, but some say it appears I use Fe and Fi both well so it is hard to tell. XD

1. During your youth (7'ish to 18), What did you focus on the most? What activities did you like and why? What aspect of life was lax in attention?: I think as a teen I was super obsessed with some sorta interaction. I would play restaurant with my pet fish, make up characters and play all of them. My stuffed animals were a made up town with tons of differing personalities. I got into lotsa trouble online being way too open and trying to help people and got myself into some messy situations as a teen. I had a lot of self-esteem issues because no matter how hard I tried, people found me a bit eccentric and weird and didn't really want to hang out with me. And I was emotionally erratic too so I can't totally blame them. I put a lot of attention into my homework too. I got into roleplays online because I could mix my mini obsession with abnormal psychology with writing. Since I was 12 I've been writing song lyrics too and was obsessed with listening to music and celebrity gossip I prob shouldn't care about. But yeah, that's like a nutshell.

I don't know how good this question is since it focuses more on childhood and when you were still developing your functions. I think that this signifies an extroverted leading function, though. Focus on the outside world first, than inner world second. Is it Se or Ne? From this question, not quite sure.

2. You're in you senior year of high school (or whatever equivalent) and you are looking back over the last couple of years. What was your favorite aspect of the schooling experience and why? Favorite subject and why?: I was homeschooled so this is a bad question for me. XD honestly I always like in homeschooling that I could work at my pace. Like my senior year I was really good at consumer math so I worked ahead and finished 3 months early, and that gave me extra time to focus on Spanish that I was...NOT...good at. so I could get it done on time. My favorite subject in high school was prob English. toward the end I got stronger books that had stronger themes and I appreciated them more. I liked the essays. I think I realized I liked being a sort of critiquer of things like that. XD

Unrelated rant but this question sucks IMO. Academic performance itself has nothing to do with type. People think I'm ISFP but my best subjects were algebra and statistics.

3. A couple of friends call and invite you out to a restaurant. While there, you all are pleasantly conversing and one of your friends makes a comment that irked you. What are you're thoughts and how do you respond?: Oh this kind of makes me think of a realish situation. In college, I had this friend and she knew about my situation of awkwardly somehow attracting douchebag creep dudes. Anyway she invited me to this movie thing with her friends so I went and it was going well, but then she brings it up and jokes about it to all her friends there and publically humiliates me. I got really quiet the rest of the night and at the end of the movie I went and cried in the bathroom. I got pissed at her and later kinda told her off, and we never reconnected after.
For an actual irk. It depends what it is. I normally "correct" for whatever reason. Like for instance I do not like the word "Retarded" being used to describe stupid people you don't like. My eldest brother who died, his original diagnosis was mental retardation, and he had a heart of gold. So with that I absolutely hate it because it feels like when you call some asshole retarded you are insulting my dead brother. I usually gently tell people this and they don't normally use it again. Understanding is key. If they continue to disrespect my feelings though, I either will stop associating or have a sort of argument with them. I'm not exactly afraid of confrontation if it is needed.

Overlap of Fi and 1. And I think you show signs of Te throughout the questionnaire and even lower level Te here. So I don't think you're on the Fe/Ti axis even if you are aware of the feelings of others.

4. Your schooling is done and it's time to strike out into the world!! What sort of career do you want to go into and why?: My problem with careers is I want so many shiny things and I can't pick one. I started my life dreams planning to own a pet store, then I was gonna be a doctor, then I decided I wanted to be a singer, then a writer, then figured I should go to business school, thought wait Psychology major! graphic design sounded fun. Ended up starting as a Social Work major. didn't like it as well as I figured. Switched to business. hated it. Transferred colleges and switched to English. Loved it but it isn't a realistic career, I'd likely choke my students if I had any for not caring. Switched to psychology, couldn't handle the research aspect. It isn't I can't do a research paper, but its more to do anything with the major you need a masters and I am terrible at statistics and we were doing an intro to research class and all the stuff felt German and I was crying thinking ok, I need to accept, my brain doesn't do this. OH I was thinking of being a makeup artist once too. It was art, on your face! I'm not good at cutting hair though. So now I've settled for administrative specialization. It is basic office work but it'll give me a consistent routine job that I can handle. And hopefully maybe one day I can mess with all that other artsy stuff I wanted to do.

Sounds like Ne and 7. Focus on endless possibilities. As a Se user I can't really relate to thinking of careers in this way. As a kid I always focused on one thing.

5. A friend is getting married and they put you in charge of the cake. You narrowed it down to two places to make an order. The first is a bakery with whom you got a good relationship with. The other is a well-known cake maker to whom everyone goes to (your friend hints to it as well). Which one do you choose and why?: I'd likely go to the one I have a good relationship with. I have good taste and obviously trust them for a reason. Just because everyone else likes or goes to something doesn't mean you need to. Usually I find out these things are overhyped or not even that creative. The cake maker I chose would likely have more interesting designs and flavors than a mainstream designer anyway. I like a pop of unique, not a pop of "everyone else has got it."

IDK. Sounds like Fi.

6. You get into an argument with a friend/family member/co-worker. They criticize one of your personality traits. What would most likely be the focus of their critique?: My mom has spent years complaining I am a walking contradiction, and that I am the most directioned directionless person she has ever known. She also says I never stick to anything. I have all these things I want to do but end up not doing. She suggests I have a short attention span. My grandpa complains I am unrealistic and need to pick a career not a starving artist dream. My brother thinks I am too critical of other people. Pick 1 and run.

I think that your mixture of direction and being directionless kind of sounds like being an MBTI perceiver and a 1 at the same time. Could easily be ENFP 1.

8. A new art gallery opens up and your friend wants to go to the grand opening. Both of you analyze all the paintings and sculptures. What about these works warrants the most attention from you? Why?: That's a good question. There was a sorta art gallery once at one of the colleges, it wasn't totally that but it had people from the graphic design programs portfolio. I noticed the colors first I think. I'm very attracted to the way a color feels. I would likely look for something that sets a mood to me. I don't like throwing things in there just for it to be there. I like the aesthetic, the 'feeling" it emits. So whatever called to me. I usually am not interested in sculptures so I'd probably be over in painting.

This does not sound like Se at all to me. You're looking at things in terms of how they affect your own senses and feelings rather than looking at the object for what it is first and then assigning meanings to it later. Even ISFPs tend to be more straight to the point about it. I think this is Fi and lower level Si.

9. You have been saving up and decide to buy a new car. At the dealership, you peruse the lots. What are the criteria and factors that influence your choice? Which one would initially be your main focus?: Well first hand I don't go to a car lot without a car in mind. Those tricksters want to put you in whatever hunk of junk they need to get off the lot or the most expensive thing you will be paying off for years. I would have researched a car before I went and said what I was interested in. If he couldn't finance it, I'd wait until I had the means to get the thing I wanted. Unless it was urgent, then I may look about and pick the next best thing. I am going to test drive and likely bring someone who knows more than me. I know Commerical Tire does free inspections, so I'd likely take it there to know if it has any issues before I purchase it. I'm not really a huge car person so I'd likely just pick something that has good mileage, the drive feels nice, the radio works, and it gets me there and back. Although my dream car is a yellow VW beetle cuz its cute. But I don't know if that'll ever fly those things do need repairs kinda often... XD can't be worse thant his damn impala I have right now though... x.x I miss the Oldsmobile I had.

Whoop, here's your Te. And then the "feels nice" thing seems quite Fi as well.

 

[Morpeko]

Yeah. The other two questionnaires you did were pretty bad and don't tell me anything. Also I don't use tests to type people.

So based on that one questionnaire and my observations of you, I would say you are an ENFP. I see Ne in the lead when you're typing a lot of things and bouncing a lot of ideas together. Your Te shines when you're sharing opinions. Obviously your Fi is super strong to the point you often consider it a dom function, so I'm agreeing with Tigerfalcon that your Te is stronger than your Si to the point it's probably not your inferior function.

Also... I seriously have no idea why you're considering ISFP. Is there any reason? Because nothing you say is indicative of Se from my understanding of it and I think this is the function I understand best. In addition, I would rule the possibility of Fe out because I think Ti is very much not valued in your stack, not even as an inferior function.

For enneagram, 1 is the only option for core TBH. I think you're a 7 fix second. Have you answered any better questionnaires for enneagram? It's hard for me to tell if you're a 2 or 4 fix but I think 2 makes for the better balance in terms of triads.

 

[Red Memories]

Sorry, I forgot to reply to this a while ago. I'm doing so on mobile so this is gonna be a bit difficult. And my typings suck but this is how I do them.



I don't know how good this question is since it focuses more on childhood and when you were still developing your functions. I think that this signifies an extroverted leading function, though. Focus on the outside world first, than inner world second. Is it Se or Ne? From this question, not quite sure.



Unrelated rant but this question sucks IMO. Academic performance itself has nothing to do with type. People think I'm ISFP but my best subjects were algebra and statistics.



Overlap of Fi and 1. And I think you show signs of Te throughout the questionnaire and even lower level Te here. So I don't think you're on the Fe/Ti axis even if you are aware of the feelings of others.



Sounds like Ne and 7. Focus on endless possibilities. As a Se user I can't really relate to thinking of careers in this way. As a kid I always focused on one thing.



IDK. Sounds like Fi.



I think that your mixture of direction and being directionless kind of sounds like being an MBTI perceiver and a 1 at the same time. Could easily be ENFP 1.



This does not sound like Se at all to me. You're looking at things in terms of how they affect your own senses and feelings rather than looking at the object for what it is first and then assigning meanings to it later. Even ISFPs tend to be more straight to the point about it. I think this is Fi and lower level Si.



Whoop, here's your Te. And then the "feels nice" thing seems quite Fi as well.

So my questionaire screams Fi that is fair. XD thank you for taking the time AND ON MOBILE TOO THAT'S A PAIN.

 

[Morpeko]

Yeah. The other two questionnaires you did were pretty bad and don't tell me anything. Also I don't use tests to type people.

So based on that one questionnaire and my observations of you, I would say you are an ENFP. I see Ne in the lead when you're typing a lot of things and bouncing a lot of ideas together. Your Te shines when you're sharing opinions. Obviously your Fi is super strong to the point you often consider it a dom function, so I'm agreeing with Tigerfalcon that your Te is stronger than your Si to the point it's probably not your inferior function.

Also... I seriously have no idea why you're considering ISFP. Is there any reason? Because nothing you say is indicative of Se from my understanding of it and I think this is the function I understand best. In addition, I would rule the possibility of Fe out because I think Ti is very much not valued in your stack, not even as an inferior function.

For enneagram, 1 is the only option for core TBH. I think you're a 7 fix second. Have you answered any better questionnaires for enneagram? It's hard for me to tell if you're a 2 or 4 fix but I think 2 makes for the better balance in terms of triads.

Oh on the first part, I meant that the questionnaires themselves are bad. Not that your answers are bad, they're perfectly fine. Just unrelated to typology.

 

[Red Memories]

Yeah. The other two questionnaires you did were pretty bad and don't tell me anything. Also I don't use tests to type people.

So based on that one questionnaire and my observations of you, I would say you are an ENFP. I see Ne in the lead when you're typing a lot of things and bouncing a lot of ideas together. Your Te shines when you're sharing opinions. Obviously your Fi is super strong to the point you often consider it a dom function, so I'm agreeing with Tigerfalcon that your Te is stronger than your Si to the point it's probably not your inferior function.

Also... I seriously have no idea why you're considering ISFP. Is there any reason? Because nothing you say is indicative of Se from my understanding of it and I think this is the function I understand best. In addition, I would rule the possibility of Fe out because I think Ti is very much not valued in your stack, not even as an inferior function.

For enneagram, 1 is the only option for core TBH. I think you're a 7 fix second. Have you answered any better questionnaires for enneagram? It's hard for me to tell if you're a 2 or 4 fix but I think 2 makes for the better balance in terms of triads.

If there's some specific enneagram questions you think would be better, feel free to ask me.

I suppose I am caught in the stereotypical definition of Fi-Ne being the devil's advocate that avoids conflict and is not very blunt, where many suggest Se has more of the bluntness and less of the emotional sparing. I tend to be quite callous and cold sometimes when it comes to handling situations. I do not always hold back and I've gotten myself in trouble this way. But I hate devil's advocating. I find it stupid, pointless, and at times manipulative and degrading of the person's real feelings. I like to learn things but my values are very very firm, where often it appears Ne-Fi is more capable of adjustment. I get intolerant a lot on my windows because I have some very strong opinions and despite data, I may not change them. Some also feel I would be more Fe since I am religious (I think this is stupid BUT for the sake of it I will throw it in there) suggesting my values stem from my religious beliefs, but in reality I think my religious belief forms around my values. If that makes any sense.

I'm open to different questions also, or a specific questionaire. I cannot decipher my head type for shit. I've literally been every head type once. I always vary between 2 and 4 but I think I only resonate with the dark depressive part of E4, because E1 disintegrates to E4. My heart type I think is actually 2, I have that nature in me to try and make everything happy and peaceful and help people best I can but also the lack of reciprocation I get makes me very resentful. Which is a huge faucet of E2, the helping and then resenting because no love or care is given back.

 

[Morpeko]

I suppose I am caught in the stereotypical definition of Fi-Ne being the devil's advocate that avoids conflict and is not very blunt, where many suggest Se has more of the bluntness and less of the emotional sparing. I tend to be quite callous and cold sometimes when it comes to handling situations. I do not always hold back and I've gotten myself in trouble this way. But I hate devil's advocating. I find it stupid, pointless, and at times manipulative and degrading of the person's real feelings. I like to learn things but my values are very very firm, where often it appears Ne-Fi is more capable of adjustment. I get intolerant a lot on my windows because I have some very strong opinions and despite data, I may not change them.

Yeah. That's definitely a stereotype. Some Ne-Fi users are stubborn as fuck. But they're definitely Ne/Fi. Those functions don't really have anything to do with being a devil's advocate or whatever. If anything that's more of an enneagram thing. And all of that can be explained with 1 no matter what your functions are.

Some also feel I would be more Fe since I am religious (I think this is stupid BUT for the sake of it I will throw it in there) suggesting my values stem from my religious beliefs, but in reality I think my religious belief forms around my values. If that makes any sense.

Yeah, typing someone as Fe solely because they're religious is a fucking pile of bullshit TBH. That's what I thought about you too, it didn't seem that you've derived your values and principles from your religion, but vibe versa. I don't really think that your emphasis when forming your belief system comes from other people. (That's also why you may be a soc-blind, but I'm not quite sure about that.)

I'm open to different questions also, or a specific questionaire. I cannot decipher my head type for shit. I've literally been every head type once. I always vary between 2 and 4 but I think I only resonate with the dark depressive part of E4, because E1 disintegrates to E4. My heart type I think is actually 2, I have that nature in me to try and make everything happy and peaceful and help people best I can but also the lack of reciprocation I get makes me very resentful. Which is a huge faucet of E2, the helping and then resenting because no love or care is given back.

Yeah I really don't see much 4 in you. I haven't really seen anyone type up a convincing argument for you being 4 anyway. I can agree with that description of 2 for you, and I've leaned more toward 2 because I can see you with the 2 kind of compliance. I don't have a specific questionnaire or questions at the moment and I mostly type people through usage of triads but I don't think that will be so helpful for you since you know about it pretty well and seem to be confident about type 2 at the moment.

 

[Red Memories]

Yeah. That's definitely a stereotype. Some Ne-Fi users are stubborn as fuck. But they're definitely Ne/Fi. Those functions don't really have anything to do with being a devil's advocate or whatever. If anything that's more of an enneagram thing. And all of that can be explained with 1 no matter what your functions are.



Yeah, typing someone as Fe solely because they're religious is a fucking pile of bullshit TBH. That's what I thought about you too, it didn't seem that you've derived your values and principles from your religion, but vibe versa. I don't really think that your emphasis when forming your belief system comes from other people. (That's also why you may be a soc-blind, but I'm not quite sure about that.)



Yeah I really don't see much 4 in you. I haven't really seen anyone type up a convincing argument for you being 4 anyway. I can agree with that description of 2 for you, and I've leaned more toward 2 because I can see you with the 2 kind of compliance. I don't have a specific questionnaire or questions at the moment and I mostly type people through usage of triads but I don't think that will be so helpful for you since you know about it pretty well and seem to be confident about type 2 at the moment.

The thing I usually get is that E1 cannot, in fact, be NFP. You are either ENFP or you are an E1. I think I have officially broken the system.
I have considered the possibility that I am INFP, but my E1 makes my Te look stronger than it is. At the same time I can see where I go to a sort of poor Te under stress usually, where I become more callous and harsh compared to in a normal setting my Ne will want to try to understand and my Fi does not like being so harsh with people. I can make 100 excuses for people but if I pop a fuse I become pretty nasty sometimes.

I feel like I could equally see arguments for me being Sp or So second. I do tend to notice social hierarchies and such, I am *aware* of them. But I feel like if I had to pick one, much of my behavior falls under attempting to preserve myself second, preserve my ability to be seen positively (not be a social pariah) etc. while finding people I can truly gel with.

Most people who know me I think type me as E4 because my tendency to fall into my emotional negative states very heavily and darkly, as well as my penchant for dark writing. I do not think that automatically makes you a 4.

A key feature of the 4 is a sort of jealousy. Which I think came from a previous vent I had in discord a long time ago, when I lost a friend. I brooded that I am unwanted and unaccepted by the world, no one wants me around actually, I wished I could just be like everyone else so I would fit in for once. I was quite depressed. This is where many of the E4 typings began, perhaps taken as me being jealous of those who actually are capable of fitting in. I think it was more like a...I feel like I don't belong anywhere, I don't fit anywhere, and I am not jealous like I don't wish hurtful harm on those who DO fit. I just want that for myself too, I want to be able to do that but it seems like I can't. They said this is an E4 sort of thing, but when I read E4 it seems they would moreless enjoy being so unique that they don't fit anywhere?

 

[Red Memories]

Limiting Subconscious Beliefs for type One:
• The world is imperfect.
• The world would be a better place if people were more principle-centered & acted from their
conscience.
• I’ll be condemned if I deviate from my ideals and high standards.
• I can never be out of control (or else I’ll be led astray by strong subconscious impulses and
desires).
• I’ll be severely reprimanded if I make mistakes.
• I’m responsible for making everything right.
• To be loved I must be perfect.

Core Coping Strategies for Ones: (where Ones focus their attention because of their subconscious
beliefs)
• Comparing self to others and judging self and others
• Indirectly displacing anger through correcting errors and/or championing social causes
• Discerning the “right” thing to do (working hard, being honest, moderate, thrifty, etc.)
• Getting things “right” (own inner critic berates them if they don’t)
• Being self-controlled
• Being extremely loyal
• Maintaining high standards and the utmost propriety
• Seeing the flaws – Ones have great critical powers
• Suppressing anger, real feelings and “bad” impulses
• Being ultra-responsible and reliable (“I must..., I ought to..., I should...”)

Type One with a Two-Wing: Ones with a Two-wing (1w2s) tend to take on more of the
attributes of Twos than of Nines (the other wing), although both wings (2 and 9) can influence
their personality. 1w2s tend to be more empathetic, compassionate, warm and overtly helpful
than 1w9s. Like 1w9s, they are genuinely interested in improving the world and especially
helping people. They are more willing to get passionately, hands-on involved to bring about the
changes and reforms that are important to them. They are sensitive to others needs and willingly
sacrifice their time and energy to be of assistance to people. Their high standards are nicely
tempered by humanitarianism and altruism. They are more zealous than 1w9s and can be quite
vocal and persuasive, getting others fired up to join their mission or cause. As Ones, most 1w2s
need their alone time but they are more interpersonal and energized by engaging with others
than 1w9s. Some 1w2s like to get involved in politics (especially social or sexual 1w2s) since
they have strong opinions about how to improve conditions for people, are good at debating and
have a strong desire to make a big difference with their life in service of others.
Negatively, 1w2s can be image conscious, emotionally volatile and attention seeking
(especially sexual 1w2s). They can also be rather authoritarian, controlling and self-righteous.
They can easily get frustrated with people when things aren’t working out the way they think they
“should.” They can become critical, touchy, emotional and outspoken about their discontents. At
their worst, 1w2s can become aggressive, hypocritical and volatile. They can develop
dependency in their relationships and conveniently overlook inconsistencies in their own behavior.
This wing is prevalent in sexual Ones (see the subtypes section next) although it can appear
in any of the three subtypes.

 

[Red Memories]

Type #1 Sexual Subtype
Can resemble 8s at times with their capacity to express their anger easily
Can resemble 4s at times with their longing for perfect love

Type One with an Unhealthy Connection to Type Four: When Ones deteriorate to the
negative aspects of type Four it is usually because they are confronted with the fearful recognition
that their beliefs, opinions and views about people and life may actually be wrong or at least
flawed because they aren’t working or making them happy. They may also fear ever being able
to live up to their ideal self. At this point their anxiety and stress can start to exceed their coping
strategies. They can become more self-absorbed and turn their anger inward, becoming
depressed. They can feel as though life is hopeless and meaningless as they become more
disenchanted, disillusioned and disappointed with themselves and others. They can withdraw into
romantic fantasies and long for what they don’t have and yet doubt ever being able to get it.
They can have a profound sense of dissatisfaction with people and reality the way it is. They
yearn to live in a more perfect, ideal world and yet feel helpless to do anything about it. They
become envious, comparing themselves to happy, successful people OR completely self-loathing
because they aren’t at all like their ideal self. Their idealistic expectations of others and life are
not being met either. They can become emotional, moody, socially withdrawn, painfully selfconscious, self-indulgent, hostile and stormy. At worst, they can turn their own high standards
against themselves and punish themselves for their fatally flawed self and/or “bad” behavior.

 

[Red Memories]

Limiting Subconscious Beliefs for type Two:
• It is selfish to have my own needs.
• I have to take care of others before myself.
• People need my help.
• I’m here to serve others’ needs.
• I have to earn love, approval and appreciation.
• To be loved I must be needed.

Core Coping Strategies for Twos: (where Twos focus their attention because of their subconscious
beliefs)
• Sacrificing their own needs to care for others
• Not recognizing that they even have needs
• Focusing on, cueing for and sensing what other’s need
• Giving (praise, affection, compliments, help, etc.) to get (love)
• “Matching.” An NLP term meaning Twos try to find commonality between them and others
• Altering and adapting themselves to be more likeable and lovable
• Suppressing negative, unpleasant and unlikable feelings
• “Mirroring” others (matching mannerisms) in conversation to create wonderful rapport
• Winning important others over with kindness, charm and seduction
• “Mind reading” (Twos often assume they know what others are thinking and feeling)

 

[Red Memories]

Type #2 Sexual Subtype
Can resemble 8s at times with their intensity and passion
Can resemble 4s at times with their yearning and longing for love

As you can see, two of these types (Sx 1 and Sx 2) both will resemble 8 and 4. It makes sense people mistype it.

 

[Red Memories]

Limiting Subconscious Beliefs for type Five:
• People are invasive and demand too much.
• It’s best to need little so I’m not dependent on anyone.
• I’m on my own in the world, separate from the environment (an outside observer).
• Allowing myself to fully feel my emotions would be unpredictable and scary.
• Knowledge will keep me safe.
• To be loved I must demonstrate my competence and knowledge.

Core Coping Strategies for Fives: (where Fives focus their attention because of their subconscious
beliefs)
• Seeking knowledge to explain life and feel safe
• Detach to observe life from an internally safe distance
• Detach from feelings to prevent emotional overwhelm
• Perceptiveness
• Natural Socratic method of questioning to get to truth
• Compartmentalize my life to protect privacy
• Being self-sufficient to limit dependency on others
• Conserving energy and withdrawing to refuel
• Minimizing physical & emotional needs to preserve personal autonomy

Type #5 Sexual Subtype
Tend to be the most friendly, affable and talkative of the three type 5 subtypes

• Like to know their partner’s personal thoughts, feelings and desires, and like sharing their
own
• Tend to be good conversationalists and advice givers (like 2s, but different energy)
• Can be patient, understanding, curious and great listeners (like 9s)
• Can be very open-hearted and merged with their partner at times (like 9s)
• Enjoy sharing secrets with their partner and trusted allies and are excellent at keeping
secrets too
• Can express their feelings especially well nonverbally, through their sensuality and
sexuality
• Often have a strong sex drive (which helps sexual 5s get involved in and stick with a
relationship)
• Trust and privacy are big issues; don’t want their partner discussing relationship issues
with other people
Negative/Depleting:
• Inner tension between wanting privacy/alone time vs. wanting intense, intimate
connection with partner
• Are looking for the ideal partner who doesn’t recoil from their intensity, social
awkwardness or shyness
• Can lack confidence in their social skills, especially when initiating contact with a romantic
interest
• Expressing feelings that occur in the moment is difficult without having time to think about
them
• Disengage from their partner to be alone after an intense engagement which can confuse
their partner
• Sometimes they can unexpectedly leave/disappear for long periods of time without any
notice
• If they feel misunderstood or rejected in any way they can become quite emotionally
distant
• At worst, can be voyeuristic, kinky, sexually perverted and/or isolate themselves from
society

 

[Red Memories]

Limiting Subconscious Beliefs for type Six:
• The world is a dangerous and threatening place.
• Most people have hidden agendas and are not to be trusted.
• My safety depends on knowing people’s intentions.
• I must rely on something (like a religion or belief system) or someone outside myself for
security.
• To be loved I must be loyal and supportive ALL the time.

Core Coping Strategies for Sixes: (where Sixes focus their attention because of their subconscious
beliefs)
• Looking for something and/or someone outside the self to believe in and put loyalty into
• Vigilance and alertness; looking for hidden agendas
• Doubt/mistrust others; Test other’s loyalty
• Question others’ intentions; Question authority
• Cope with fear by acting strong (or smart) to win support and/or by acting sexy or
coquettish to attract support
• Being dutiful and aligning with others to feel safe
• Being prepared emotionally for worst case situations
• Being warm/pleasing to disarm potential hostility
• Fitting in to society and working for common goals

Type Six with a Five Wing: Sixes with a Five wing (6w5s) tend to take on more of the
attributes of Fives than of Sevens (the other wing), although both wings (5 and 7) can influence
their personality. 6w5s tend to be more independent, idiosyncratic and serious than 6w7s. They
are less likely to go to others for reassurance or advice. They also have a better ability to focus
and concentrate than 6w7s. 6w5s are often somewhat intellectual and like to develop technical
expertise. They are great practical problem solvers, probing researchers and superb analysts.
They also make good pundits and teachers since they are usually well-read and learned. Some
6w5s are interested in history in general and their ancestry in particular. Phobic 6w5s are most
attracted to fields of knowledge that are well-established and have clearly defined guidelines,
rules and parameters such as engineering, medicine, law, mathematics, and the sciences.
Counterphobic 6w5s tend to be more antiauthoritarian and unconventional than phobic 6w5s and
may even have spiritual or metaphysical interests that are not so mainstream. 6w5s (especially
the social subtype) have a strong identification with the underdog and sometimes get involved in
political or community causes with a humanitarian ideal of championing the downtrodden or the
disadvantaged.
Negatively, 6w5s can become aloof, secretive and insecure loners. They can become too bookish
and reclusive with focused but overly narrow interests. They can be intellectually arrogant,
cynical or enigmatically cryptic. They can see the world as a dangerous place and become
suspicious of other people’s motives. They will denounce any perceived threat to their security no
matter how unwarranted it is. This can lead them to be passive/aggressive, argumentative,
rebellious, reactive and/or hostile (especially counterphobic 6w5s). At worst they can become
extremely paranoid, brood over injustices to them and become vengeful or self-destructive or
both.

Type #6 Sexual Subtype
Tend to be the most openly defiant of authority of the three type 6 subtypes
Counterphobic Sexual 6s can resemble 8s; they confront their fears, talk tough and take risks
Phobic Sexual 6s can resemble 4s; they can be seductive, helpless or coquettish to win people’s
affections
Positive/Enhancing:
• Are goal-oriented, hard-working and energetic
• Keep themselves physically strong and/or physically attractive
• Lead disciplined lives that allow them to feel empowered and secure
• Can also be creative (somewhat like 4s) since they have a rich imagination and an eye for
beauty
Negative/Depleting: (for Sexual 6s that Protect Themselves with Strength):
• Try to hide their fears behind exaggerated strength (especially counterphobic 6s,
especially men)
• Have a lot of self-doubt about their sexual attractiveness and desirability
• Fear they would not be loved if others knew how much self-doubt they have
• Act strong and/or seductive but really feel insecure, fearful and self-doubting.
• Can have explosive emotional reactions when their connection with important others is
threatened can I bold this twice
• Men in particular can try to give the impression of being macho, virile, manly and tough
• Can appear intimidating, arrogant or callous as a way to get people to not mess with them
and, thus, not threaten or scare them. They’re actually afraid of scaring themselves but
don’t realize it
• They think the threat is “out there” so they take on a strong persona to match any
perceived threat
• They can invite aggressive reactions to their belligerent reactions
• Test others to appraise their character, inner strength and fortitude (like 8s do)
Negative/Depleting: (for Sexual 6s that Protect Themselves with Beauty):
• Try to hide their fears behind a mask of beauty (especially phobic 6s, especially women)
• Can have the vanity of Sexual 3s and try to become the “ideal man” or “ideal woman”
• Sexual 6s know they are hiding but are afraid to take of their mask
• Female sexual 6s, especially, play up their attractiveness as a way of attracting a partner
• Allow people to mistake their outer appearance and sexual appeal for their inner self
• Can be tough also but prefer to use their beauty to protect themselves
• Subconsciously rationalize that if you love them for their beauty then when you find out
what a nervous wreck underneath they are you might still keep them because you love
them already anyway
• At worst, both “Strength” and “Beauty” Sexual 6s can be obsessively paranoid and
depressive
• Fear their erratic, emotionally reactive defiance and lashing out has ruined their intimate
connections
• Can be self-destructive, impulsive and aggressive yet terrified of being without support

actually this makes me think I should flip to 6w5 instead.

 

[Red Memories]

Limiting Subconscious Beliefs for type Seven:
• I require numerous enjoyable outside experiences to feel fulfilled.
• Something better (more exciting, more fun) has to be just around the corner; I just
need to keep looking.
• To be loved I must keep myself positive and life “up.”

Core Coping Strategies for Sevens: (where Sevens focus their attention because of their
subconscious beliefs)
• Heightened imagination and positive, anticipatory thinking
• Keeping life upbeat, exciting and enjoyable
• Putting a positive reframe on negative experiences
• Moving on to something better when stuck in pain
• Focusing on the bright side, even in difficult situations
• Resilience – bouncing back quickly after painful incidents
• Planning ability (for pleasurable, positive experiences)
• Imagining and engaging in interesting activities
• Explaining and justifying own inappropriate behavior (rationalizing)
• Avoiding negative feelings that bring life down

Type #7 Sexual Subtype
Sexual 7s can resemble 4s in relationships because they’re both intense; both want an
extraordinary, magical relationship; both fall in love easily; both idealize & romanticize their
beloved; and both get disappointed easily

Positive/Enhancing:
• Feel drawn to anything or anyone that is unique, unusual, complex, mysterious, intense or
beautiful
• Have a wide-ranging curiosity and are often multitalented
• Are capable of bringing passion, intensity and excitement to their intimate relationship
• Are able to commit deeply in a relationship as long as they have ongoing stimulation and
variety
• When their marriage inevitably hits a difficult patch healthy 7s stay positive, talk, and
work through it
• Are able to deal with difficult, even painful, situations by choosing to see the positive that
can come from any situation
• Are resilient; they can reframe disappointments and look to future possibilities for
happiness
Negative/Depleting:
• Easily get bored with mundane reality so they embellish it with fantasy, imagination &
wishful thinking
• Can idealize a romantic interest, projecting all kinds of wonderful qualities onto him/her
that don’t exist
• Can become magnetized by and infatuated with someone they find
fascinating/intriguing/mysterious and will romanticize and fantasize about him or her as a
way to keep life exciting and stimulating
• Enjoy fantasizing about all the magical adventures and interesting conversations they
would have with their new romantic interest, even if they are married or have a partner
already
• Can fear being trapped in a relationship so often move on once the rush of initial attraction
wears off
• It was surely a Sexual 7 who said, “The grass is greener on the other side of the fence.”
• They are highly suggestible and if they don’t have good boundaries and morals they can
be promiscuous
• Some Sexual 7s can justify and rationalize anything they do for the sake of having fun
• Can fall in and out of love often, trying their best to avoid a boring life
• Can be seductive without even meaning to be
• Get disappointed when their partner doesn’t share the same zest for fun and adventure in
life as they do
• Can sometimes be fickle in fact and not just in mind; commitment can be difficult for
restless 7s
• Can have a short attention span, easily get distracted and have trouble
concentrating/getting focused
• At worst, they can become reckless thrill-seekers, needing bigger and better experiences
to get that rush of excitement they’re looking for, like a drug addict who’s built up a
tolerance and needs more
• They can completely lack discernment and get involved in risky love affairs, flirt with
danger or live on the edge in other ways to feel fully alive; excessive living can lead to
burn-out and depression

 

[Red Memories]

Limiting Subconscious Beliefs for type Three:
• My worth depends on my achievements.
• True feelings are not to be expressed if they make you look bad.
• My value is dependent on the positive regard of others.
• It’s important to present a winning image.
• It’s up to me to “make it” in life.
• To be loved I must be successful, a winner.
Core Coping Strategies for Threes: (where Threes focus their attention because of their
subconscious beliefs)
• Intense focus on tasks, goals, achievement, and success
• Manage time for maximum efficiency and productivity
• Work exceptionally hard and compete to be the best
• Can be extremely focused and work diligently
• Know how to present something in a compelling and acceptable way
• Repress feelings for maximum performance and results
• Present a winning personality that people will admire
• Meet challenges by being extremely adaptable. Threes adjust their behavior and affect
to meet expectations and succeed

Type #3 Sexual Subtype
Can resemble Sexual 6s because both are interested in strength (physical and/or intellectual) and
beauty
Positive/Enhancing:
• Know how to look attractive: they workout, eat right, pay attention to style and grooming,
etc.
• Skilled at one-to-one relating because they are authentic and real rather than pretentious
• Some choose work that helps others become more attractive
• Ambitious and hard working
Negative/Depleting:
• Feel the need to be the ideal gender role model for their culture
• Want desperately to be perfect and ideal in every way but can’t play the different roles
simultaneously
• Try to allure and impress a romantic interest with their charisma, magnetism, success and
confidence
• Want to be envied for having a picture perfect relationship with a successful, attractive,
prestigious mate
• Cultivate whatever qualities valued others find appealing and desirable
• Seductive; desire to be valued, wanted and desired
• Alter their behavior in any way necessary to keep their partner interested in them
• Fear being able to live up to the image they are projecting (like Sexual 2s)
• Fear being rejected (like 2s and 4s)
• Crave yet fear intimacy due to hidden feelings of undesirability (like Sexual 2s and 4s)
• Identify strongly with their image; can be show-offs
• Pursue sexual conquests subconsciously believing they will bolster their self-esteem; they
don’t
• At worst, can be vindictive, promiscuous, jealous, exhibitionistic or even rageful

 

[Red Memories]

Limiting Subconscious Beliefs for type Four:
• I’m missing something vitally important that would make me whole and complete; I
just need to find it.
• I’m different (more flawed) than other people.
• Others have happier, more fulfilling lives than I do.
• To be loved I must be unique, special and distinctive.
• Others fit in better than I do.
• Nobody really understands me.

Core Coping Strategies for Fours: (where Fours focus their attention because of their subconscious
beliefs)
• Searching for the ideal (partner, job, body,...., life) that will compensate for what the
Four feels is missing inside
• Overusing imagination to fantasize about ideal situations
• Feeling superior (to those less deep and/or sensitive)
• Emphasizing uniqueness (which has the nasty side effect of distancing themselves from
others and creating tension in relationships)
• Identifying the self with ever-changing feelings and moods
• Tuning in to inner states and feelings to actualize the self
• “Mismatch.” An NLP term meaning Fours look for and notice what is NOT present in
any experience; what’s missing
• “Polarize.” An NLP term meaning contrary/polar opposite thinking

Negatively, 4w3s can be painfully self-conscious and insecure. Feeling defective and
flawed inside, they work hard to prove their self-worth. They want recognition for their unique
work but they can also struggle with issues of low self-esteem and inferiority. No matter their
success, they always feel their work could have been done better. They can have a dual
personality. They crave social acceptance so they can be funny, sociable and bubbly out in public
– almost seeming like Sevens – but then go home to loneliness or a dissatisfying love
relationship. They put a lot of effort into their personal appearance and self-presentation,
wanting to be noticed. They can still be hard-working and more practical than 4w5s but they can
also be extravagant with money (especially if they are a Vata dosha type) to compensate for
subconscious feelings of low self-worth. They often want to be seen as cultured, sophisticated,
high class, elegant, refined or elite. They can be melodramatic, grandiose, narcissistic, disdainful
and/or competitive. Craving love and romance and being highly sensual, they can sometimes
find themselves involved in messy love triangles. Negative 4w3s can sometimes experience
strong feelings of jealously, envy, unrequited love, vengefulness, and/or hatred.

Type #4 Sexual Subtype
Can resemble 8s at times when they are feigning self-confidence, being intense, diminishing
others to make themselves seem important and over-stepping their boundaries
Tend to be the most extroverted, or at least assertive, of the three type 4 subtypes (also most
envious)
Positive/Enhancing:
• When healthy, are capable of truly admiring and deeply loving their partner
• Extremely accepting of other people’s individuality and right to express themselves
• Can engage with people deeply, authentically and passionately
• Can develop excellent communication and interpersonal relationship skills
• Able to be extremely open-hearted, compassionate and loving toward all sentient beings
Negative/Depleting:
• Long for a soul mate to come along and sweep them off their feet; to save them from an
ordinary life
• Tend to be especially attracted to people who are distant or unavailable
• Can have unrealistically high expectations of their partner to fit their ideal fantasy of a
mate
• Can have intense romantic and sexual longings; easily get infatuated with a romantic
interest
• Can be tender, vulnerable and sweet but also competitive, demanding, aggressive and
pushy
• Unconsciously yearning for the ideal partner perpetuates familiar feelings of lost love in
childhood
• Their love life can be tempestuous, dramatic, turbulent, stormy, etc. – they can
reject/disdain their partner by focusing on the flaws but then miss the great qualities and
want him/her back
• Strong fears of rejection and abandonment; sexual 4s have serious doubts about their
desirability
• Can be seductive, sexual, jealous and possessive (like 2s); relationship problems cause
depression
• Can be envious of people who seem more fulfilled and happy in their love life
• Can be competitive with any rivals that might threaten their romantic relationship
• Can envy or resent the very qualities in their mate they originally admired or wanted in
themselves
• At worst, get so emotionally distraught over love gone wrong that they kill themselves
and/or their lover

 

[Red Memories]

Limiting Subconscious Beliefs for type Eight:
• The world is a hard and unjust place.
• Emotional need is equated with weakness.
• Only the strong survive.
• It’s not safe to show softness or vulnerability.
• The powerful take advantage of the innocent.
• I must always be in control of my environment.
• To be loved I must be strong and self-reliant.
Core Coping Strategies for Eights: (where Eights focus their attention because of their
subconscious beliefs)
• Naturally noticing who has the power and who’s in control
• Imposing their will and truth on others (to stay in control)
• Having a strong sense of self and being self-assertive
• Fighting perceived injustices
• Being strong, and forceful if necessary, to gain respect
• Having a high threshold for pain
• Being fearless, tenacious, decisive and authoritative
• Denying any personal vulnerability or weakness
• Taking control of everything and everyone
• Protecting the weak, innocent and disadvantaged

Type #8 Sexual Subtype
Tend to be the most energetic, intense, assertive and excessive of all the Enneagram types
Positive/Enhancing:
• Can be one of the most devoted, big-hearted and loving types once they trust their
partner
• Truly want to have a partnership of equality where they don’t feel the need to control and
possess
• Want to know everything about their partner – body, mind and soul; no secret is too
sacred
• An honest fight/argument that brings out the truth allows Sexual 8s to feel closer to their
partner
• Can surrender control and be genuinely soft, vulnerable and tender with their partner once
they have won their partner’s loyalty and affections and have no fear of being betrayed
• Some Sexual 8s like a partner to be strong and direct, to stand his/her ground against the 8
• Other Sexual 8s like a more withdrawn type of partner that they can mold
• Are very protective of their partner
• Are charismatic, passionate and truthful
Negative/Depleting:
• Inner tension between wanting to connect with my partner on a deep level vs. needing to
stay in control
• Tend to take charge of their partner’s life; want to possess him/her; feel the impulse to
command/boss
• For all their bravado, Sexual 8s actually have a deep fear of rejection which is why they
feel the need to possess and control their partner in the first place
• Tend to be lusty in love; can be competitive, impulsive and impatient too
• Like a good heated debate or argument every once in a while with their partner
• Get angry when their partner makes an important decision without consulting the 8 first
• Get angry when their partner withholds information from the 8 during a fight/argument.
Sexual 8s want their partner to be direct and honest and not withhold their thoughts or
emotions from them
• Tend to be assertive and confrontational in relationships; prefer intense relationships to
comfortable ones
• Can be extremely suspicious and fear betrayal
• Tend to demand loyalty and attention from their partner; can act parental or superior at
times
• Tend to question and test their partner’s motives and actions in the beginning stages of
the relationship
• Won’t let down their guard or relax their control in a relationship until they know it is safe
to do so
• Can have a very difficult time letting go of a relationship once it is over
• Once they have fallen in love with their partner Sexual 8s can become codependent and/or
jealous
• At worst, can completely control and dominate their partner and isolate him/her from
other people
• At worst, can be abusive, vengeful, sadistic or even commit crimes of passion

 

[Red Memories]

Limiting Subconscious Beliefs for type Nine:
• The world won’t value my efforts.
• My presence/participation in the world is unimportant.
• Having my own agenda disrupts harmony with others.
• Getting angry disconnects and isolates me from people.
• If I assert myself I will destroy my relationships.
• To be loved I must forget myself.
Core Coping Strategies for Nines: (where Nines focus their attention because of their subconscious
beliefs)
• Going along with others’ agendas
• Seeing everyone else’s point of view
• Maintaining comfortable, predictable routines
• Retreating to the safety of their imagination under stress
• Resisting over-influence from the environment
• Pleasing, harmonizing and accommodating to avoid conflict
• Containing their own energy and anger
• Minimizing hopes and expectations (that way they can’t be disappointed)
• Being passive-aggressive rather than directly confronting
• Being undemanding
• Dissociating from threatening events

Type #9 Sexual Subtype
Can resemble 4s at times because they often romanticize and idealize their partner, long for love
when without a partner, can be melancholic, and yearn for deep intimacy, even oneness, with
their partner.
Positive/Enhancing:
• Are passionate about life
• They foster a sense of unity and deep connection with people they are close to (like their
partner, parents, children, friends, pets, etc.), and for some their spiritual teacher or even
All That Is
• They are easily influenced by the people around them so they like to make people happy
so that they can stay happy (and avoid any kind of conflict)
Negative/Depleting:
• It is easy for them to “lose themselves” in their partner because tension dissolves when
they do
• Since Sexual 9s can feel lost without a partner, they believe they find their personal
identity by merging their life with their partner’s; “my life” becomes “our life,” but at the
cost of their independence
• By focusing so much of their energy on their partner they conveniently forget about
themselves and don’t have to worry about dealing with their repressed anger, anxiety or
other instinctive energies
• They can lack a strong, unchanging sense of self and often live vicariously through others
• Easily swayed by other people, some Sexual 9s don’t take responsibility for their own
choices and blame their partner or other people when things go wrong
• They can long for the ideal romantic union with a partner
• Easily get depressed and feel disillusioned when relationship problems come up
• They hate their partner making demands of them and will often be stubborn as a mule, or
withdraw silently, or go along with the request outwardly to avoid conflict but inwardly be
annoyed/mad
• Are attracted to a strong, decisive, assertive partner that makes them feel more alive and
secure but don’t like it when their assertive partner is impatient or aggressive with them
• They sometimes have inner tension between wanting to merge vs. wanting to keep their
autonomy
• They would sometimes like to be more independent and get in touch with their true
desires and vitality
• At worst, they can feel alone, lost, dissociated from others and themselves

okay these flaws of Sx9 attack me but I'm obviously not a 9 wtf

 

[Red Memories]

excuse me now while I go have an identity crisis pertaining to how attacked I feel by the negatives of E9 when I have never ever in a thousand years considered myself an E9.

What if I have lied to myself.