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  1. #11
    The Keeper Charus's Avatar
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    For more info for typing myself:

    I don't get swayed (Triggered) when in a debate, I take viewpoints with ease, as long as those viewpoints dont violate human rights or are just flat-out "You are not allowed to do this and this because I dont like it", I also get easily triggered when arguments and debates being taken into personal level and start with gaslighting, making the debate directionless and toxic to handle.

    As for how my life is swinging, I fell comfortable when there is a direction, a sense of progression and competition to shake things up, it is when I feel like the world is alive, a sense of life, it is the reason why I adored going to school, even if sometimes the atmosphere was slightly toxic at times, I still had the sense of community (Collective) and the individual (The self) living together. When I end up in times when there is no competition or progression, where I have to wander aimlessly, it is when I feel like my life is going nowhere and start to fell 'empty'.

    Yeah, I'm pretty results/reward oriented and therefore competitive, I have difficult to be laid-back and just enjoy the moment. I find myself compensating it by trying as hard as I can to dress myself as beautifully and innovative as possible, to make myself look innovative. Despite being a guy, the way I want to dress up in more of a mix of 'feminine' and edgy fashion for some reason (Though I dont have goal to be transgender, I'm masculine after all still), wanting to grow long hair, avoiding baggy, ugly clothes as much as possible, with innovation style. I find masculine 'beauty' or over-practicality shallow for some reason, since it over emphasises on muscles and no hair, which I find boring, 0 sense of style, I find myself trying to be adventurious and indulge on pleasures to fill in the lack of the old atmosphere I was so used to.

    To note out, I still go to school, but It's not the same school I used to go when I was under 'college' aged, the scale is much smaller (It's a special education school), and the progression and competition there is entirely miniscule, making my school experience lack-luster. Not to mention in older school I wasnt bounded by stupid rules that do nothing but oppress individual freedom, the emphasis on appearance rules was way less strict, less emphasis on stupid school uniforms, and also the girls used to be prettier because they werent bounded by paranoid rules that disallows them to wear revealing clothes and have their hair dropped, I tend to get heavy nostalgic feelings to those 'old times' because of that.


    I finaly figured out that I'm IxxJ, based on all this stuff, but I'm unsure whether I am ISTJ, ISFJ, INTJ or INFJ, I'm not really sure about the personality characteristic distinguishion between those types.
    * As you cross the Event Horizon of the Blackhole and fall into the Singularity core ...

    ... do not fear the Gravitational Fantasy of Horrors and Darkness...
    ... as you are facing with what you are at the core and make it your kingdom ...


    to bend the Surroundings to your will!

  2. #12
    The Keeper Charus's Avatar
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    Alright, bump.


    Here is more info to get myself typed

    1. I wish I'd able to just enjoy the simple things in life without the feel of it being draining, I just tend to retreat to my 'inner world' of imagination to just be with my thoughts, ideas, fantasies and conceptualizations, being in the physical world or in the moment can be entertaining sometimes but also draining because of that.

    2. I dont use personal values to channel my feelings, infact the assertion of personal values is not my priority. I directly channel my feelings when I feel comfortable doing so. Expressing your feelings do not need justification, it is rather an unconditional 'criteria'.

    3. Most of the time I feel comfortable when I'm part of something great, a community perhaps. When I have the sense of progression and competition going on and being on an 'adventure' is when I feel alive the most. Without it, I lack compassion to anything and that can be depressing. Just to expand on it, I felt the most alive during middle school years (When I'm 12 - 17 year old) when I felt stable and lived my life despite some of the hard ships. Now that I'm soon to finish school once and fo all, I have no idea what I want to be, what work to work in, that old sense of community, progression and competition that I had during my middle school and early high school years was gone, and now I feel empty because of that. When I went to a special education school, it never felt the same again.

    4. I'm in a quest to perfect myself, or atleast to find something 'perfect' that I feel like I'm missing something in my life or in myself. I have been called perfectionistic multiple times. My self-esteem and self-image is dependent on it and It's therefore low because of that.

    5. I tend to compensate my lack of physical stimulation by doing 'slothful' activities such as pleasure seeking; going to restaurants to eat fast food or just a walks, going to movie, and adventure trips, note that I tend to like to do such activities together with people, going out entirely alone seems boring and pointless. I tend to compensate for my lack of outer-world skills by avoiding dressing up with ugly clothes, trying to dress up as cool and innovative as possible, to look astheticaly cool and pleasing to the eyes, it is related to self-esteem also. While the innovation is great, I wish I'd be able learn some practical skills that will able to 'cooperate' with my innovation.

    6. 6. My sensory activities are rather very specified. I enjoy going to 'adventures', to walks, laser tag and similar activities. I do however hate doing sports, such as football, as I find it shallow, boring and running restlessly is what I typicaly dislike, I dont find it entertaining. I think It's rather a matter of a taste here, but I thought it might account into typing.
    * As you cross the Event Horizon of the Blackhole and fall into the Singularity core ...

    ... do not fear the Gravitational Fantasy of Horrors and Darkness...
    ... as you are facing with what you are at the core and make it your kingdom ...


    to bend the Surroundings to your will!

  3. #13
    The Keeper Charus's Avatar
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    Bump
    * As you cross the Event Horizon of the Blackhole and fall into the Singularity core ...

    ... do not fear the Gravitational Fantasy of Horrors and Darkness...
    ... as you are facing with what you are at the core and make it your kingdom ...


    to bend the Surroundings to your will!

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