Any ideas? Should I answer some questionnaire, or imaginary scenarios testing Fi/Fe?
I got these descriptions from the funkyMBTI site, I'll underline what I really relate to and do a strikethrough for the parts I really don't relate to, italics means so-so, plus added some comments in brackets to clarify more on those, etc:
Functions:
Extroverted Feeling (Fe): t̶o̶ ̶j̶u̶d̶g̶e̶ ̶s̶i̶t̶u̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶s̶ ̶b̶a̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶i̶m̶p̶a̶c̶t̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶o̶c̶i̶a̶l̶ ̶g̶r̶o̶u̶p̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶d̶i̶v̶i̶d̶u̶a̶l̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶v̶o̶l̶v̶e̶d̶,̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶o̶t̶i̶v̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶p̶e̶o̶p̶l̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶k̶ ̶t̶o̶g̶e̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶a̶c̶c̶o̶m̶p̶l̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶s̶i̶m̶i̶l̶a̶r̶ ̶g̶o̶a̶l̶s̶,̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶d̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶w̶a̶y̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶p̶e̶o̶p̶l̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶g̶e̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶r̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶s̶h̶a̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶v̶a̶l̶u̶e̶s̶.̶ Objective ethics, does not favor anyone as higher than anyone else [mostly true, but with people I see as close to myself ofc I will prioritise them higher!!]. Tends to feel what others feel [sometimes *weakly*], d̶o̶e̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶i̶m̶i̶l̶a̶r̶ ̶e̶x̶p̶e̶r̶i̶e̶n̶c̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶e̶m̶p̶a̶t̶h̶y̶. [Very rare, very hard to read into the other person and feel empathy directly that way, not really what I fall back to and it's not a good idea to do this.] General discomfort when others display inappropriate emotions in the wrong context, since the goal is to reach a similar emotional state. [Err I kinda barely pay attention to that most of the time so not really worried about that.] Uses “mirroring†of other people to bond with them. [sometimes *weakly*]
Introverted Feeling (Fi): to judge situations based on a personal system of ethics (formed of how Fi wants to be treated or its beliefs), to pursue self-understanding, and not violate an internal standard of behavior [I feel I'm not always consistent with this but I'm a nazi about consistency, so...]. Tends to judge based on “what I would do.†Subjective ethics, prioritizes a single point of view. [hell yeah] Relates to others through self-referencing, unable to understand or empathize without a personal experience or by putting themselves in someone else’s shoes. Never feels what other people feel, s̶t̶r̶o̶n̶g̶l̶y̶ ̶r̶e̶s̶i̶s̶t̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶e̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶o̶l̶d̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶o̶c̶i̶a̶l̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶t̶e̶x̶t̶; their emotions are often out of sync with the situation [well if I ACTUALLY get to have emotions of my own then yes they can be out of sync very much, otherwise they don't get in the way of weak mirroring in some cases, but usually, with my default self anyway, I just feel not much, no mirroring much or own emotions much].
And function positions:
Tertiary Fi (IXTJ): I put a lot of time and energy into activities that are important to me. I want those activities to be meaningful in some way—I want to volunteer, learn to teach others, apply my knowledge, or write on important social issues [sometimes]. I have a strong sense of what is good or bad [sometimes and then I get reallly opinionated on good/bad, not my default tho']. I want things to come out right, and will work toward that end. I am loyal to a few causes and people, because my time is valuable so I prioritize. I̶ ̶c̶h̶o̶o̶s̶e̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶b̶e̶l̶i̶e̶f̶s̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶m̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶a̶u̶t̶h̶e̶n̶t̶i̶c̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶e̶.̶ I compare all my decisions against my strong beliefs of right and wrong [sometimes but I prefer not to feel all that much with my decisions beyond a simple sense of, will this be rewarding or will this have negative consequences].
Tertiary Fi hm well yeah I think I'm not good with the authenticity feelz, that'd require feeling too much *and* own those feelings. And I just can't. Otherwise this worked ok, certain causes/people can be a good drive/motivation for spending my time. Incredibly good motivation, too good, even.
Inferior Fi (EXTJ): My beliefs are very strong, but I spend little time thinking about them. Many of them are tied to my feelings, and I’m not comfortable dwelling on my emotions. It’s easier to adopt a simple, straightforward moral code and stick to it without deviation. I̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶’̶t̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶o̶i̶n̶t̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶d̶e̶t̶e̶r̶m̶i̶n̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶w̶h̶i̶c̶h̶ ̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶s̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶i̶m̶p̶o̶r̶t̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶n̶ ̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶s̶.̶ I have a tendency to think that my values are right for others [sometimes but then at other times about other convictions I see this as a really weird and unfair approach]. I really want to do something greater than myself, and am fiercely loyal to what I believe in but I would rather donate time, energy, and money than emotional support. It’s hard for me to be loyal to people whose decisions I profoundly disagree with [well, yeah, but for some reason I still get to compulsively try and support some such people, even tho' I'm having a hard time to actually respect them let alone be loyal to them... Otoh my support in these cases is really harsh tough love so idk if anyone else would call it support Lol]. I need to respect you before I can emotionally support you in those times. Slowly, I am learning to be more tolerant and not see the world as black and white.
Inferior Fi, this was very ok lol minus the lack of prioritising. Lack of good decisions, especially lack of decisiveness, now that's a problem with some people lool. I get really harsh in the worst cases. Like I said, tough love af. Thanks.
And I don't even know *WHY* I have the compulsion to err, support those people. When they are just that bad, then it causes just a load of frustration to myself and to them too, lol. Jk, sometimes it helps them but then I just feel I don't get enough out of supporting them and then I move on. It's like I look for some emotional reward with it and so if I don't get it I move on after a while from that person. It gets old being able to "trash" the person... not the emotional reward I really want. If I do get that emotional reward then it's heaven though ... and it's usually the people who are not AS hopeless as some others or at least I try to ignore how hopeless they are lol? Because I get to be made to feel good by them otherwise and they know how to hide their worst moves/thinking/decisions from me perhaps. And I don't get AS harsh with those people, let alone "trash" them, but I'm still very tough with them when I see it as needed.
edit: At my worst ever, I did stop being able to prioritise the causes/people. It felt really "un-rewarding" too to be like that. I got no enjoyment from the interactions even where I usually do get some. I don't understand why I was like that. I hope I never get to waste time like that again. Plus it really backfired on me. Also yeah, more dark shit, if I get into doing all this support thingy a lot, I don't think it ever ended all that well eventually. Especially in that case where I didn't even prioritise. Felt shallow, disconnected and it was not rewarding and was totally pointless eventually but I just didn't stop until it was too much of a disaster eventually. :???: I didn't feel I was being truly myself anymore.
Tertiary Fe (EXTP): I̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶d̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶e̶a̶s̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶n̶e̶c̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶p̶e̶o̶p̶l̶e̶ and make friends. I̶’̶m̶ ̶g̶o̶o̶d̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶s̶m̶o̶o̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶s̶ ̶o̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶w̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶p̶e̶o̶p̶l̶e̶,̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶w̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶ ̶a̶c̶c̶o̶m̶p̶l̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶g̶e̶t̶h̶e̶r̶.̶ ̶Y̶o̶u̶’̶r̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶d̶o̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶ ̶g̶o̶o̶d̶ ̶j̶o̶b̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶;̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶’̶r̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶n̶a̶t̶u̶r̶a̶l̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶,̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶!̶ ̶I̶’̶m̶ ̶g̶l̶a̶d̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶f̶o̶r̶t̶a̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶m̶e̶.̶ [whoa, alien to me, talking like this neat and smooth or care to try] I like you too. I know how you feel, and I’m sorry this is happening to you. [sometimes I do say this alright, not so hard at times, I get to feel it weakly and, thus, it's not so fake then] Tell me how I can help, so I’m not just sad on your behalf. I feel like I need to take care of you, and be responsible for you. If you mess with someone I love, I will kick your butt; do you hear me? Hey, do you want to talk about how you feel? I can share some stuff about myself, too, if it makes you feel better. [I definitely do have all these motivations *if* it is about a person very important to me but I can't and won't speak of this, let alone this smoothly. Though the "will kick your butt" yeah that works lol] People find me friendly and enthusiastic [sometimes, more often in the past... now it's incredibly hard].
This Tertiary Fe is too smooth and works too well for my abilities lol & I'd feel totally fake trying to say these things. It conflicts with my thinking processes. Sometimes it's ok from others for a short time, well only rarely ok, but even then please don't overdo it, it gets too personal then.
Inferior Fe (IXTP): I want to help you, but I’m not sure what to say to make you feel better. I feel protective of you [I don't *feel* it but my actions do prove this like I said above; I can say "I'll kick your butt, but I do not feel the protectiveness emotionally, uh"], and I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but sometimes I do. I would never admit it in a million years, but I care how you see me and I̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶e̶n̶c̶o̶u̶r̶a̶g̶e̶m̶e̶n̶t̶. The more I respect you, the more hurt I am if you ignore or belittle me. [yup!!!] That being said… I really don’t understand why you’re making such emotional decisions! [sometimes but this kind of thinking like this about other people is usually alien to me; I'm more like I'm like this in behaviour by easily invalidating feelings of people without even trying to, but I do not care to consciously think this about people, it seems unfair to uh, look down on other people's ability like this].
Overall the Inferior Fe seems like really dismissive of people's emotions, and I don't relate to that in this condescending way. I'm more consciously dismissive of my own than other people's lol. I don't find it ok to be like this to other people (and as for my own feelings, I just don't care for most of it). But I get consciously dismissive of other people's too sometimes if it's like too much sensitiveness. Not consciously I do easily invalidate the feelz of people. The encouragement thing made no sense. I'm more like I encourage others with uh, a mix of tough love and optimism sorta lol, I don't need that done to me, I do it to myself I guess. And where I said I don't judge "emotional decisions" consciously like this... I meant that I look more on the pragmatic side and evaluate the decisions that way (like see at Inferior Fi above)... or I just never think consciously that oh these were emotional decisions? What I judge consciously though is the pragmatic ability, not the ability to be stoic when needed.
