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Exploring my Enneagram Type! Considering Types 4, 6 and 9

Shalimar

New member
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
12
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
"I felt disdain for others."
Unhealty 5 often fell disdain for others.
"I've often felt like I lacked something that would enable me to participate in the world and relationships as easily as everyone else."
5 fell they need an area of expertise in order to be able to interact with the world so they isolate thenselves and keep studying till they can feel they know enough to do so.
"I have noticed a pretty constant buzz of fear in the background of my life. That fear is not necessarily of anything specific, although I do find plenty of things to worry about and am often keeping a running tally of things I need to do/think about/be concerned about. I often think about something that has been on my to-do list with a sudden jolt of fear, even if taking care of that thing is 100% on schedule and it will probably all work out. I am still nervous about its existence, and its importance, and the potential threat that messing it up or forgetting it presents. Those little jolts of fear keep me motivated to handle the urgent things that I need to (but only up to a point)."
5 also deal with constant fear especially if they have a 6 wing but unlike the 6 fear of possible treats it's fear of failure and thus incompetence.
"I've also encountered the idea that 6's have a hard time making decisions or reaching conclusions that they feel confident about. I strongly identify with that. I often doubt my decisions and feel a sense of fear after making decisions because I regret being locked into something I am uncertain about. I have reached a point in my life, however, where I feel that I need to be making choices in order to get anywhere in life. I've done a lot of research and exploration to try to make choices that at least seem like safe bets or provide me with enough breathing room to escape."
Doing research in order to deal with fear is 5 trait, 6 go after support instead.
"The biggest reason is how often I choose to numb out stressful things. The best example of this is probably my work environment where I have been struggling to deal with incredible anger and frustration over the past year or so. I feel that my exemplary work has been overlooked by the people who matter, and that I am often forced to do the work of others because of a broken system. Now I, as well as several other coworkers, have expressed our frustration on numerous occasions in numerous ways. But things have not changed. To preserve my sanity, I have withdrawn probably to an extreme extent. I prefer to keep to myself and do my work, but avoid interacting with other people who are sources of anger/frustration for me. I tend to pop in my headphones and take frequent breaks between the BS to browse the internet/pinterest/other mindless pleasurable things that help me get through the day. I also tend to ignore stressful things as much as I possibly can. When I get home, I typically need extensive periods of time to zone out with tv/books/the internet/video games to recharge and decompress. That can mean that I often put off regular chores, or fail to keep on top of important things that I know won't have catastrophic consequences. Bills are often paid late because there is typically no penalty, or an acceptable penalty I can pay to preserve the peace by not thinking about it. I manage to stay mostly on top of schoolwork and other extremely important priorities/concerns (things related to my dog's health, grades, etc), but I'll avoid mentally taxing things related to goals I am pursuing (that thing I should have done early in preparation for applying to grad programs, healthcare appointments, etc) so long as they are not "urgent." I will also try to distract myself as much as possible from experiencing intensely negative emotions that stem from circumstances in my own life. For example, after my most recent break-up, I alternated between periods of intense crying/emotional wallowing and actively distracting myself by cleaning my apartment, grocery shopping, playing a game with a friend. Anything that served to level me out emotionally without requiring a lot of mental effort. I do not like to remain in a state of despair, pain, or self-loathing. I try to manage those emotions and keep moving forward. I do occasionally allow myself periods of wallowing, but they are not prolonged or crippling like they might have been in the past."
This looks like a 5 going to 7, numbing the pain is 7 behavior 9 simply refuse to even "notice" the problem.
"Sloth. I feel that I have been a victim of my own sloth in the past. During college, I felt very motivated by my goals at the time and I performed to a high level. After college, I became overwhelmed by responsibility and the burden of making some important decisions in life, and I wasted quite a bit of time being completely inert in life. My days were spent working a dead-end job that required little of me while living at my parents' home and spending all of my free time on video games. I avoided making any decisions or taking any risks and just lived for the daily pleasures I could get for probably 2 years before I was given an ultimatum that kicked my life in gear again."
More 5 going to 7.
"I am uncertain whether fear or anger is the bigger fixation for me. I have a great deal of suppressed anger and resentment, but I do not feel that I am asleep to that anger. I feel that I often express that anger, though I try to express it in a way that masks the real degree of my anger unless I am pushed to the point of explosion. I have been told that I can come across as silently seething and simmering when I am angry. I usually try to reign it in at work, but I rarely have a problem with expressing it to intimates. I know that I often give the impression of being friendly, and have been told that my anger comes as an intense surprise for others as a result. One acquaintance made a point to say that she thought it was "scary" when I was angry, even without me verbally or physically expressing that anger directly."
5 going to 8 especially the bolded parts.
"I would say that I do look for silver linings but it's less trying to turn every specific situation into a positive situation, and moreso a deeply held belief that I will figure something out; some way of coping with or responding to a situation, and that I will persevere."
Deep held belief in ones own ability to figure something out is 5 trait.
Also 5 deply fear feeling overhelmed so they save their energy A LOT.
 

Melly382

New member
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
20
MBTI Type
INFP
Does anyone know what may have happened to the responses to this thread? There were previously several pages of responses. I came back to review them and look for insight, but they had all disappeared! :(

I welcome any new responses as well.
 

Melly382

New member
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
20
MBTI Type
INFP
Wow, how odd! Thanks for locating the right one for me Luminous. Oddly enough, I couldn't find either one through my profile either. Some weirdness is going on.
 

Melly382

New member
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
20
MBTI Type
INFP
Hi [MENTION=40005]Shalimar[/MENTION]!

Thanks so much for your response. I apologize for not responding at the time. I received a promotion that swallowed my life for a bit and I ended up having to put the Enneagram quest down to preserve my sanity haha.

"I felt disdain for others."
Unhealty 5 often fell disdain for others.
"I've often felt like I lacked something that would enable me to participate in the world and relationships as easily as everyone else."
5 fell they need an area of expertise in order to be able to interact with the world so they isolate thenselves and keep studying till they can feel they know enough to do so.
"I have noticed a pretty constant buzz of fear in the background of my life. That fear is not necessarily of anything specific, although I do find plenty of things to worry about and am often keeping a running tally of things I need to do/think about/be concerned about. I often think about something that has been on my to-do list with a sudden jolt of fear, even if taking care of that thing is 100% on schedule and it will probably all work out. I am still nervous about its existence, and its importance, and the potential threat that messing it up or forgetting it presents. Those little jolts of fear keep me motivated to handle the urgent things that I need to (but only up to a point)."
5 also deal with constant fear especially if they have a 6 wing but unlike the 6 fear of possible treats it's fear of failure and thus incompetence.
"I've also encountered the idea that 6's have a hard time making decisions or reaching conclusions that they feel confident about. I strongly identify with that. I often doubt my decisions and feel a sense of fear after making decisions because I regret being locked into something I am uncertain about. I have reached a point in my life, however, where I feel that I need to be making choices in order to get anywhere in life. I've done a lot of research and exploration to try to make choices that at least seem like safe bets or provide me with enough breathing room to escape."
Doing research in order to deal with fear is 5 trait, 6 go after support instead.
"The biggest reason is how often I choose to numb out stressful things. The best example of this is probably my work environment where I have been struggling to deal with incredible anger and frustration over the past year or so. I feel that my exemplary work has been overlooked by the people who matter, and that I am often forced to do the work of others because of a broken system. Now I, as well as several other coworkers, have expressed our frustration on numerous occasions in numerous ways. But things have not changed. To preserve my sanity, I have withdrawn probably to an extreme extent. I prefer to keep to myself and do my work, but avoid interacting with other people who are sources of anger/frustration for me. I tend to pop in my headphones and take frequent breaks between the BS to browse the internet/pinterest/other mindless pleasurable things that help me get through the day. I also tend to ignore stressful things as much as I possibly can. When I get home, I typically need extensive periods of time to zone out with tv/books/the internet/video games to recharge and decompress. That can mean that I often put off regular chores, or fail to keep on top of important things that I know won't have catastrophic consequences. Bills are often paid late because there is typically no penalty, or an acceptable penalty I can pay to preserve the peace by not thinking about it. I manage to stay mostly on top of schoolwork and other extremely important priorities/concerns (things related to my dog's health, grades, etc), but I'll avoid mentally taxing things related to goals I am pursuing (that thing I should have done early in preparation for applying to grad programs, healthcare appointments, etc) so long as they are not "urgent." I will also try to distract myself as much as possible from experiencing intensely negative emotions that stem from circumstances in my own life. For example, after my most recent break-up, I alternated between periods of intense crying/emotional wallowing and actively distracting myself by cleaning my apartment, grocery shopping, playing a game with a friend. Anything that served to level me out emotionally without requiring a lot of mental effort. I do not like to remain in a state of despair, pain, or self-loathing. I try to manage those emotions and keep moving forward. I do occasionally allow myself periods of wallowing, but they are not prolonged or crippling like they might have been in the past."
This looks like a 5 going to 7, numbing the pain is 7 behavior 9 simply refuse to even "notice" the problem.
"Sloth. I feel that I have been a victim of my own sloth in the past. During college, I felt very motivated by my goals at the time and I performed to a high level. After college, I became overwhelmed by responsibility and the burden of making some important decisions in life, and I wasted quite a bit of time being completely inert in life. My days were spent working a dead-end job that required little of me while living at my parents' home and spending all of my free time on video games. I avoided making any decisions or taking any risks and just lived for the daily pleasures I could get for probably 2 years before I was given an ultimatum that kicked my life in gear again."
More 5 going to 7.
"I am uncertain whether fear or anger is the bigger fixation for me. I have a great deal of suppressed anger and resentment, but I do not feel that I am asleep to that anger. I feel that I often express that anger, though I try to express it in a way that masks the real degree of my anger unless I am pushed to the point of explosion. I have been told that I can come across as silently seething and simmering when I am angry. I usually try to reign it in at work, but I rarely have a problem with expressing it to intimates. I know that I often give the impression of being friendly, and have been told that my anger comes as an intense surprise for others as a result. One acquaintance made a point to say that she thought it was "scary" when I was angry, even without me verbally or physically expressing that anger directly."
5 going to 8 especially the bolded parts.
"I would say that I do look for silver linings but it's less trying to turn every specific situation into a positive situation, and moreso a deeply held belief that I will figure something out; some way of coping with or responding to a situation, and that I will persevere."
Deep held belief in ones own ability to figure something out is 5 trait.
Also 5 deply fear feeling overhelmed so they save their energy A LOT.

I hadn't considered type 5, though perhaps that is due to some of the stereotypes of 5-ness. I also generally think that I have such high level of comfort with my emotional states in all their highs and lows that I haven't been able to relate to how type 5 is described as being avoidant of overwhelming emotions. I have tended to test as 6w5 from time to time so perhaps that w5 could account for some of these behaviors in me if I am indeed a type 6. And while I do a lot of research and preparation for things that I am uncomfortable with, uncertain of, or fearful of, I've never really felt the need to be an "expert." I do feel a strong need to be competent at whatever I am invested in and to be seen as competent. I take pride in, and can be quite competitive with others when it comes to competency, but I can't say that I've ever been driven to master something for its own sake or a sense of security that comes from mastering it.
 

Luminous

༻✧✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Messages
10,230
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
The search function doesn't work properly on the forum. Hopefully it will once the forum is updated.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,226
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I merged the two threads so no responses would be lost.
 
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