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  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    Question Please help I've been researching types for like 9 hours and my brain is melting

    Heya, now on... what... hour 9 of researching all the types, wings, flaws, fears, instinctual subtypes and taking hundreds of tests trying to determine what my true type is?
    All I was trying to do was include my typings of different personalities in a detailed "about me" section for a highly personal job sorta deal, but though I realized I know I'm definitely an INFJ I have no idea what my definite enneagram type is.
    I've gotten results such as:
    9w1 sx/sp
    6w7 sp/sx
    4w5 so/sp
    And then randomly reading into the motivations/fears aspects, I most closely associate to 5s because I am always fighting to feel capable but always under the surface feel that I am inept and unable to thrive in life. But not because I'm not good enough or less than others like 4w5 SO sometimes do, but because I don't really feel like a whole person like at all

    I isolate like 5s, very much so. I find maintaining interpersonal relationships extremely exhausting as I am highly in tune with people's needs and have an intuitive understanding of people on the whole, so I tend to set high standards of people able to constantly meet those needs but then it is so exhausting that I withdraw completely and end up ignoring messaging because of the intense anxiety even thinking about how to respond to them brings.

    As I said though I am highly attuned to people's needs and am always looking to create and maintain harmony, like 9s, and often lose myself in the process of trying to cater to others to make sure everyone is content and feels heard, understood, understands each other, etc.

    I lose myself completely in relationships because first of all I have no real goals or direction and much prefer to either sit in a public place and melt into the background and stop thinking and dealing with my real-life problems by going into like a meditative state listening to the sounds of people passing and birds and the warmth of the sun on my face and just not be a person with a self, god the allure of oblivion or being a disembodied consciousness is so attractive.

    I struggle with a great deal of depression, anxiety, loneliness, but I don't really care about either being a unique individual or conforming to societal norms? I just want to be left in peace to exist, sit outside in the grass and listen to the birds, contemplate the human condition with no real purpose other than just the deep-rooted interest in psychology, philosophy, meaning, eternity, nothingness... And then have someone to love, who is my partner, my soulmate, who I can discuss those things with and trust entirely to love me through it all and allow me to devote myself to the partnership. Though I never end up knowing or voicing my needs and stay in unhealthy relationships far too long and have huge problems with emptiness, becoming directionless and trying to numb myself from the sense of despair that comes with the end of the relationship, no longer having a future to work towards or look forward to because my only idea of the future came from the goals and dreams of the person I was with.

    I end up in deep conversation with strangers a lot. I'm the kind of person who will be approached by a stranger in the bar and by the end of the night we've gone through their deepest fears, their previously unresolved conflicts etc and given them several epiphanies. That's the only way in which I can see myself enjoying being "different" or a "significant individual". I like that I see things differently because I can help someone I have just met, or known for a long time or whatever, understand themselves better and then fade away again and I'll just forever be the person who helped them see things in a new light or more clearly or whatever, but beyond that i don't have to keep the pressure of the longterm needs and responsibilities of being a close friend.
    I don't need to constantly be in a friend's life to still feel like their friend.

    Oh also, strong sense of guilt. Constantly. Moral compass, conscience, am I doing enough to help those I love, am I letting them down, do they know I care even though I withdraw.
    Quiet, polite, well-mannered, will provide critiques or harsh truths if I feel they really need to be voiced but will still do so with caution and tact.

    Anyway I'm going to stop now or I'll ramble forever. Usually I'm better at getting all the key points together but I'm so tired of thinking about this and have wasted yet another day being unproductive (but becoming extremely knowledgable in typology lmao??) so yeah if you have any specific questions please ask and otherwise just yeah please provide insight or direction cause I need to move on from this obsession and feel settled in which I am, otherwise my brain will keep on this forever. Thank you very very much in advance.
    Likes Zodaksa98 liked this post

  2. #2
    ∂ιѕﻭяα¢є∂ ¢σѕмσηαυт Luminous's Avatar
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    Welcome to the forum! Don't worry, we'll try to stop your brain melt!

    Here's a good questionnaire, could you fill out out?
    New Questionnaire To Fill Out!

    If you feel up to it, you could also make a collage of images that speak to you.
    ƒ O ᖇ G E ᗪ I ᑎ ƒ I ᖇ E ★
    -: ✦ :-

    h n g ⊱ 9✶S✶5✶X✶2 ⊰ g h t
    -: ✦ :-
    ★ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴇᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴇʟꜱ★

  3. #3
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    Ahh thank you! Yes I will do both now

  4. #4

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    If I may join in on this discussion, I would say that you should deal with your mental health problems before attempting to type yourself. Also, you contradict yourself by saying you struggle with loneliness but also wanting to be in a strong relationship with others. You increase the pain in your life by craving those 2 contradictory things. Even if you found someone else who would want to spend all of their time contemplating meaning and nothingness, they will likely be just as unhealthy as you are.

    Healthy people do not deliberate on things like that all the time and it's certainly not helping with your low self esteem. I'd suggest trying to find the root of your guilt and confronting it. This can help your mental issues dissipate. Realize that you are limitless and your self-worth. You can be great if you allow yourself to be. This post reeks of toxic sense of self. You'll call out people if they they're being horrible, but won't voice your own issues when in a toxic relationship?

    Seems like a fair bit of trauma at some point. All I can really suggest is for you to use that ability of yours to see from different perspectives and realize that you have control of the happiness in your life. My parents abandoned me in LA when I was 16 years old and I could have just destroyed my life. Instead, I read all that I could at the local library about economics and business.It took a very long time to find my way through the underbelly of such.a seedy city, but I had confidence in myself. 4 years later, I am now in college and have an apartment. Nothing is out of reach.

    If I had to take a guess: IXFJ

  5. #5
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Go study for nine more hours. *cracks whip*

    Welcome to the forum.
    It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.

  6. #6
    ∂ιѕﻭяα¢є∂ ¢σѕмσηαυт Luminous's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by existnt View Post
    Heya, now on... what... hour 9 of researching all the types, wings, flaws, fears, instinctual subtypes and taking hundreds of tests trying to determine what my true type is?
    All I was trying to do was include my typings of different personalities in a detailed "about me" section for a highly personal job sorta deal, but though I realized I know I'm definitely an INFJ I have no idea what my definite enneagram type is.
    I've gotten results such as:
    9w1 sx/sp
    6w7 sp/sx
    4w5 so/sp
    And then randomly reading into the motivations/fears aspects, I most closely associate to 5s because I am always fighting to feel capable but always under the surface feel that I am inept and unable to thrive in life. But not because I'm not good enough or less than others like 4w5 SO sometimes do, but because I don't really feel like a whole person like at all

    I isolate like 5s, very much so. I find maintaining interpersonal relationships extremely exhausting as I am highly in tune with people's needs and have an intuitive understanding of people on the whole, so I tend to set high standards of people able to constantly meet those needs but then it is so exhausting that I withdraw completely and end up ignoring messaging because of the intense anxiety even thinking about how to respond to them brings.

    As I said though I am highly attuned to people's needs and am always looking to create and maintain harmony, like 9s, and often lose myself in the process of trying to cater to others to make sure everyone is content and feels heard, understood, understands each other, etc.

    I lose myself completely in relationships because first of all I have no real goals or direction and much prefer to either sit in a public place and melt into the background and stop thinking and dealing with my real-life problems by going into like a meditative state listening to the sounds of people passing and birds and the warmth of the sun on my face and just not be a person with a self, god the allure of oblivion or being a disembodied consciousness is so attractive.

    I struggle with a great deal of depression, anxiety, loneliness, but I don't really care about either being a unique individual or conforming to societal norms? I just want to be left in peace to exist, sit outside in the grass and listen to the birds, contemplate the human condition with no real purpose other than just the deep-rooted interest in psychology, philosophy, meaning, eternity, nothingness... And then have someone to love, who is my partner, my soulmate, who I can discuss those things with and trust entirely to love me through it all and allow me to devote myself to the partnership. Though I never end up knowing or voicing my needs and stay in unhealthy relationships far too long and have huge problems with emptiness, becoming directionless and trying to numb myself from the sense of despair that comes with the end of the relationship, no longer having a future to work towards or look forward to because my only idea of the future came from the goals and dreams of the person I was with.

    I end up in deep conversation with strangers a lot. I'm the kind of person who will be approached by a stranger in the bar and by the end of the night we've gone through their deepest fears, their previously unresolved conflicts etc and given them several epiphanies. That's the only way in which I can see myself enjoying being "different" or a "significant individual". I like that I see things differently because I can help someone I have just met, or known for a long time or whatever, understand themselves better and then fade away again and I'll just forever be the person who helped them see things in a new light or more clearly or whatever, but beyond that i don't have to keep the pressure of the longterm needs and responsibilities of being a close friend.
    I don't need to constantly be in a friend's life to still feel like their friend.

    Oh also, strong sense of guilt. Constantly. Moral compass, conscience, am I doing enough to help those I love, am I letting them down, do they know I care even though I withdraw.
    Quiet, polite, well-mannered, will provide critiques or harsh truths if I feel they really need to be voiced but will still do so with caution and tact.

    Anyway I'm going to stop now or I'll ramble forever. Usually I'm better at getting all the key points together but I'm so tired of thinking about this and have wasted yet another day being unproductive (but becoming extremely knowledgable in typology lmao??) so yeah if you have any specific questions please ask and otherwise just yeah please provide insight or direction cause I need to move on from this obsession and feel settled in which I am, otherwise my brain will keep on this forever. Thank you very very much in advance.
    This part seems rather 2-ish.

    These parts seem rather 9-ish. Particularly 9sx-ish.

    I hope you fill out the questionnaire and do a collage as they will help in typing you further.
    ƒ O ᖇ G E ᗪ I ᑎ ƒ I ᖇ E ★
    -: ✦ :-

    h n g ⊱ 9✶S✶5✶X✶2 ⊰ g h t
    -: ✦ :-
    ★ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴇᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴇʟꜱ★
    Likes RadicalDoubt liked this post

  7. #7
    ∂ιѕﻭяα¢є∂ ¢σѕмσηαυт Luminous's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zodaksa98 View Post
    If I may join in on this discussion, I would say that you should deal with your mental health problems before attempting to type yourself. Also, you contradict yourself by saying you struggle with loneliness but also wanting to be in a strong relationship with others. You increase the pain in your life by craving those 2 contradictory things. Even if you found someone else who would want to spend all of their time contemplating meaning and nothingness, they will likely be just as unhealthy as you are.

    Healthy people do not deliberate on things like that all the time and it's certainly not helping with your low self esteem. I'd suggest trying to find the root of your guilt and confronting it. This can help your mental issues dissipate. Realize that you are limitless and your self-worth. You can be great if you allow yourself to be. This post reeks of toxic sense of self. You'll call out people if they they're being horrible, but won't voice your own issues when in a toxic relationship?

    Seems like a fair bit of trauma at some point. All I can really suggest is for you to use that ability of yours to see from different perspectives and realize that you have control of the happiness in your life. My parents abandoned me in LA when I was 16 years old and I could have just destroyed my life. Instead, I read all that I could at the local library about economics and business.It took a very long time to find my way through the underbelly of such.a seedy city, but I had confidence in myself. 4 years later, I am now in college and have an apartment. Nothing is out of reach.

    If I had to take a guess: IXFJ
    This post isn't helpful. You are making tons of assumptions about the OP based on very little information. The bolded makes no sense whatsoever. Struggling with loneliness means one wants to have deeper relationships.

    The idea that people have complete control over the happiness in their lives is bullshit. Good for you if you did raise yourself up by your bootstraps. But look, you clearly, very clearly, have different desires and goals and fears than the OP.
    ƒ O ᖇ G E ᗪ I ᑎ ƒ I ᖇ E ★
    -: ✦ :-

    h n g ⊱ 9✶S✶5✶X✶2 ⊰ g h t
    -: ✦ :-
    ★ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴇᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴇʟꜱ★
    Likes Zodaksa98, Peter Deadpan liked this post

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Luminous View Post
    This post isn't helpful. You are making tons of assumptions about the OP based on very little information. The bolded makes no sense whatsoever. Struggling with loneliness means one wants to have deeper relationships.

    The idea that people have complete control over the happiness in their lives is bullshit. Good for you if you did raise yourself up by your bootstraps. But look, you clearly, very clearly, have different desires and goals and fears than the OP.
    I apologize if my comments were inflammatory, I was just pointing out what I observed. And I wasn't clear in that first highlighted section. The assumptions I made are all things OP stated having and I connected the dots. In psychology, those mental/social issues they suffer from are often connected but I admit I could be off the mark in some area. Not completely wrong though. I meant that it is going to be impossible for the OP to reach the happiness they want(which is substantial relationships)if they want to spend their time isolated and pondering dark things but also craving affection. Unfortunately, living life to it's maximum and being an observer/philosopher full time is very difficult. Look through history and see that Buddha, Nietzsche. Socrates, Sartre, and Camus struggled with relationships too because you must be engaged in the moment.

    OP is letting people use and discard them and I have the utmost respect for even posting this out in the public. The fact that they can point that out means they can overcome it with enough elbow grease. They have the strength to break it because people full of that much love are stronger than they think more often than not. This is a kind soul not seen too often and I know my delivery may have seemed acidic, but don't disregard the message because of that. I think this is an awesome person. I just wanted to lend my own help in my own way.

    I will hold firm that we can all change our reality by shifting control into ourselves whether you think that's possible or not. There are starving kids smiling and there are millionaires drowning in depression. Do not let trauma define you. Define your trauma on your own terms.

    Again OP, do not look at this as an argument, these are 2 more people who care about your well-being. We just have a difference in opinion on how to convey that.

    I meant my post to give encouragement to OP but if it comes off as just disrespectful, I'll gladly remove it.
    Likes Luminous liked this post

  9. #9
    ∂ιѕﻭяα¢є∂ ¢σѕмσηαυт Luminous's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zodaksa98 View Post
    I apologize if my comments were inflammatory, I was just pointing out what I observed. And I wasn't clear in that first highlighted section. The assumptions I made are all things OP stated having and I connected the dots. In psychology l, those issues they suffer from are often connected but I admit so could be off the mark in some area. Not completely wrong though. I meant that it is going to be impossible for the OP to reach the happiness they want(which is substantial relationships)if they want to spend their time isolated and pondering dark things but also craving affection. Unfortunately, living life to it's maximum and being an observer/philosopher full time is very difficult. Look through history and see that Buddha, Nietzsche. Socrates, Sartre, and Camus struggled with relationships too because you must be engaged in the moment.

    OP is letting people use and discard them and I have the utmost respect for even posting this out in the public. The fact that they can point that out means they can overcome it with enough elbow grease. They have the strength to break it because people full of that much love are stronger than they think more often than not. This is a kind soul not seen too often and I know my delivery may have seemed acidic, but don't disregard the message because of that. I think this is an awesome person. I just wanted to lend my own help in my own way.

    I will hold firm that we can all change our reality by shifting control into ourselves whether you think that's possible or not. There are starving kids smiling and there are millionaires drowning in depression. Do not let trauma define you. Define your trauma on your own terms.

    Again OP, do not look at this as an argument, these are 2 more people who care about your well-being. We just have a difference in opinion on how to convey that.

    I meant my post to give encouragement to OP but if it comes off as just disrespectful, I'll gladly remove it.
    I very much appreciate your clarification. Even if we disagree, I am glad we can do so in a friendly manner. And so I welcome you to the forum too!
    ƒ O ᖇ G E ᗪ I ᑎ ƒ I ᖇ E ★
    -: ✦ :-

    h n g ⊱ 9✶S✶5✶X✶2 ⊰ g h t
    -: ✦ :-
    ★ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴇᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴇʟꜱ★

  10. #10
    c'est la vie Obfuscate's Avatar
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    i'm feeling lazy, but i will say that the most important aspect to examine when typing via enneagram is core fear... the other aspects are helpful, but the most surefire way to be certain is to see what makes you uncomfortable...
    " 'Cause life's a game, life's a joke
    Fuck it, why not go for broke?
    Trade in all your chips and learn how to be free
    Why abstain? Why jump in line?
    We're all living on borrowed time
    So do what you like
    And we'll like what you do when you do it
    And if they don't that's fine
    Fuck 'em!"
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