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Please help I've been researching types for like 9 hours and my brain is melting

existnt

New member
Joined
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
2
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
???
Heya, now on... what... hour 9 of researching all the types, wings, flaws, fears, instinctual subtypes and taking hundreds of tests trying to determine what my true type is?
All I was trying to do was include my typings of different personalities in a detailed "about me" section for a highly personal job sorta deal, but though I realized I know I'm definitely an INFJ I have no idea what my definite enneagram type is.
I've gotten results such as:
9w1 sx/sp
6w7 sp/sx
4w5 so/sp
And then randomly reading into the motivations/fears aspects, I most closely associate to 5s because I am always fighting to feel capable but always under the surface feel that I am inept and unable to thrive in life. But not because I'm not good enough or less than others like 4w5 SO sometimes do, but because I don't really feel like a whole person like at all

I isolate like 5s, very much so. I find maintaining interpersonal relationships extremely exhausting as I am highly in tune with people's needs and have an intuitive understanding of people on the whole, so I tend to set high standards of people able to constantly meet those needs but then it is so exhausting that I withdraw completely and end up ignoring messaging because of the intense anxiety even thinking about how to respond to them brings.

As I said though I am highly attuned to people's needs and am always looking to create and maintain harmony, like 9s, and often lose myself in the process of trying to cater to others to make sure everyone is content and feels heard, understood, understands each other, etc.

I lose myself completely in relationships because first of all I have no real goals or direction and much prefer to either sit in a public place and melt into the background and stop thinking and dealing with my real-life problems by going into like a meditative state listening to the sounds of people passing and birds and the warmth of the sun on my face and just not be a person with a self, god the allure of oblivion or being a disembodied consciousness is so attractive.

I struggle with a great deal of depression, anxiety, loneliness, but I don't really care about either being a unique individual or conforming to societal norms? I just want to be left in peace to exist, sit outside in the grass and listen to the birds, contemplate the human condition with no real purpose other than just the deep-rooted interest in psychology, philosophy, meaning, eternity, nothingness... And then have someone to love, who is my partner, my soulmate, who I can discuss those things with and trust entirely to love me through it all and allow me to devote myself to the partnership. Though I never end up knowing or voicing my needs and stay in unhealthy relationships far too long and have huge problems with emptiness, becoming directionless and trying to numb myself from the sense of despair that comes with the end of the relationship, no longer having a future to work towards or look forward to because my only idea of the future came from the goals and dreams of the person I was with.

I end up in deep conversation with strangers a lot. I'm the kind of person who will be approached by a stranger in the bar and by the end of the night we've gone through their deepest fears, their previously unresolved conflicts etc and given them several epiphanies. That's the only way in which I can see myself enjoying being "different" or a "significant individual". I like that I see things differently because I can help someone I have just met, or known for a long time or whatever, understand themselves better and then fade away again and I'll just forever be the person who helped them see things in a new light or more clearly or whatever, but beyond that i don't have to keep the pressure of the longterm needs and responsibilities of being a close friend.
I don't need to constantly be in a friend's life to still feel like their friend.

Oh also, strong sense of guilt. Constantly. Moral compass, conscience, am I doing enough to help those I love, am I letting them down, do they know I care even though I withdraw.
Quiet, polite, well-mannered, will provide critiques or harsh truths if I feel they really need to be voiced but will still do so with caution and tact.

Anyway I'm going to stop now or I'll ramble forever. Usually I'm better at getting all the key points together but I'm so tired of thinking about this and have wasted yet another day being unproductive (but becoming extremely knowledgable in typology lmao??) so yeah if you have any specific questions please ask and otherwise just yeah please provide insight or direction cause I need to move on from this obsession and feel settled in which I am, otherwise my brain will keep on this forever. Thank you very very much in advance.
 

Luminous

༻✧✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Messages
10,235
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Welcome to the forum! Don't worry, we'll try to stop your brain melt! :D

Here's a good questionnaire, could you fill out out?
New Questionnaire To Fill Out!

If you feel up to it, you could also make a collage of images that speak to you.
 

Zodaksa98

New member
Joined
Jun 10, 2019
Messages
9
If I may join in on this discussion, I would say that you should deal with your mental health problems before attempting to type yourself. Also, you contradict yourself by saying you struggle with loneliness but also wanting to be in a strong relationship with others. You increase the pain in your life by craving those 2 contradictory things. Even if you found someone else who would want to spend all of their time contemplating meaning and nothingness, they will likely be just as unhealthy as you are.

Healthy people do not deliberate on things like that all the time and it's certainly not helping with your low self esteem. I'd suggest trying to find the root of your guilt and confronting it. This can help your mental issues dissipate. Realize that you are limitless and your self-worth. You can be great if you allow yourself to be. This post reeks of toxic sense of self. You'll call out people if they they're being horrible, but won't voice your own issues when in a toxic relationship?

Seems like a fair bit of trauma at some point. All I can really suggest is for you to use that ability of yours to see from different perspectives and realize that you have control of the happiness in your life. My parents abandoned me in LA when I was 16 years old and I could have just destroyed my life. Instead, I read all that I could at the local library about economics and business.It took a very long time to find my way through the underbelly of such.a seedy city, but I had confidence in myself. 4 years later, I am now in college and have an apartment. Nothing is out of reach.

If I had to take a guess: IXFJ
 

Jaguar

Active member
Joined
May 5, 2007
Messages
20,647
Go study for nine more hours. *cracks whip*

Welcome to the forum.
 

Luminous

༻✧✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Messages
10,235
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Heya, now on... what... hour 9 of researching all the types, wings, flaws, fears, instinctual subtypes and taking hundreds of tests trying to determine what my true type is?
All I was trying to do was include my typings of different personalities in a detailed "about me" section for a highly personal job sorta deal, but though I realized I know I'm definitely an INFJ I have no idea what my definite enneagram type is.
I've gotten results such as:
9w1 sx/sp
6w7 sp/sx
4w5 so/sp
And then randomly reading into the motivations/fears aspects, I most closely associate to 5s because I am always fighting to feel capable but always under the surface feel that I am inept and unable to thrive in life. But not because I'm not good enough or less than others like 4w5 SO sometimes do, but because I don't really feel like a whole person like at all

I isolate like 5s, very much so. I find maintaining interpersonal relationships extremely exhausting as I am highly in tune with people's needs and have an intuitive understanding of people on the whole, so I tend to set high standards of people able to constantly meet those needs but then it is so exhausting that I withdraw completely and end up ignoring messaging because of the intense anxiety even thinking about how to respond to them brings.

As I said though I am highly attuned to people's needs and am always looking to create and maintain harmony, like 9s, and often lose myself in the process of trying to cater to others to make sure everyone is content and feels heard, understood, understands each other, etc.

I lose myself completely in relationships because first of all I have no real goals or direction and much prefer to either sit in a public place and melt into the background and stop thinking and dealing with my real-life problems by going into like a meditative state listening to the sounds of people passing and birds and the warmth of the sun on my face and just not be a person with a self, god the allure of oblivion or being a disembodied consciousness is so attractive.

I struggle with a great deal of depression, anxiety, loneliness, but I don't really care about either being a unique individual or conforming to societal norms? I just want to be left in peace to exist, sit outside in the grass and listen to the birds, contemplate the human condition with no real purpose other than just the deep-rooted interest in psychology, philosophy, meaning, eternity, nothingness... And then have someone to love, who is my partner, my soulmate, who I can discuss those things with and trust entirely to love me through it all and allow me to devote myself to the partnership. Though I never end up knowing or voicing my needs and stay in unhealthy relationships far too long and have huge problems with emptiness, becoming directionless and trying to numb myself from the sense of despair that comes with the end of the relationship, no longer having a future to work towards or look forward to because my only idea of the future came from the goals and dreams of the person I was with.

I end up in deep conversation with strangers a lot. I'm the kind of person who will be approached by a stranger in the bar and by the end of the night we've gone through their deepest fears, their previously unresolved conflicts etc and given them several epiphanies. That's the only way in which I can see myself enjoying being "different" or a "significant individual". I like that I see things differently because I can help someone I have just met, or known for a long time or whatever, understand themselves better and then fade away again and I'll just forever be the person who helped them see things in a new light or more clearly or whatever, but beyond that i don't have to keep the pressure of the longterm needs and responsibilities of being a close friend.
I don't need to constantly be in a friend's life to still feel like their friend.

Oh also, strong sense of guilt. Constantly. Moral compass, conscience, am I doing enough to help those I love, am I letting them down, do they know I care even though I withdraw.
Quiet, polite, well-mannered, will provide critiques or harsh truths if I feel they really need to be voiced but will still do so with caution and tact.

Anyway I'm going to stop now or I'll ramble forever. Usually I'm better at getting all the key points together but I'm so tired of thinking about this and have wasted yet another day being unproductive (but becoming extremely knowledgable in typology lmao??) so yeah if you have any specific questions please ask and otherwise just yeah please provide insight or direction cause I need to move on from this obsession and feel settled in which I am, otherwise my brain will keep on this forever. Thank you very very much in advance.

This part seems rather 2-ish.

These parts seem rather 9-ish. Particularly 9sx-ish.

I hope you fill out the questionnaire and do a collage as they will help in typing you further. :)
 

Luminous

༻✧✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Messages
10,235
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
If I may join in on this discussion, I would say that you should deal with your mental health problems before attempting to type yourself. Also, you contradict yourself by saying you struggle with loneliness but also wanting to be in a strong relationship with others. You increase the pain in your life by craving those 2 contradictory things. Even if you found someone else who would want to spend all of their time contemplating meaning and nothingness, they will likely be just as unhealthy as you are.

Healthy people do not deliberate on things like that all the time and it's certainly not helping with your low self esteem. I'd suggest trying to find the root of your guilt and confronting it. This can help your mental issues dissipate. Realize that you are limitless and your self-worth. You can be great if you allow yourself to be. This post reeks of toxic sense of self. You'll call out people if they they're being horrible, but won't voice your own issues when in a toxic relationship?

Seems like a fair bit of trauma at some point. All I can really suggest is for you to use that ability of yours to see from different perspectives and realize that you have control of the happiness in your life. My parents abandoned me in LA when I was 16 years old and I could have just destroyed my life. Instead, I read all that I could at the local library about economics and business.It took a very long time to find my way through the underbelly of such.a seedy city, but I had confidence in myself. 4 years later, I am now in college and have an apartment. Nothing is out of reach.

If I had to take a guess: IXFJ

This post isn't helpful. You are making tons of assumptions about the OP based on very little information. The bolded makes no sense whatsoever. Struggling with loneliness means one wants to have deeper relationships.

The idea that people have complete control over the happiness in their lives is bullshit. Good for you if you did raise yourself up by your bootstraps. But look, you clearly, very clearly, have different desires and goals and fears than the OP.
 

Zodaksa98

New member
Joined
Jun 10, 2019
Messages
9
This post isn't helpful. You are making tons of assumptions about the OP based on very little information. The bolded makes no sense whatsoever. Struggling with loneliness means one wants to have deeper relationships.

The idea that people have complete control over the happiness in their lives is bullshit. Good for you if you did raise yourself up by your bootstraps. But look, you clearly, very clearly, have different desires and goals and fears than the OP.

I apologize if my comments were inflammatory, I was just pointing out what I observed. And I wasn't clear in that first highlighted section. The assumptions I made are all things OP stated having and I connected the dots. In psychology, those mental/social issues they suffer from are often connected but I admit I could be off the mark in some area. Not completely wrong though. I meant that it is going to be impossible for the OP to reach the happiness they want(which is substantial relationships)if they want to spend their time isolated and pondering dark things but also craving affection. Unfortunately, living life to it's maximum and being an observer/philosopher full time is very difficult. Look through history and see that Buddha, Nietzsche. Socrates, Sartre, and Camus struggled with relationships too because you must be engaged in the moment.

OP is letting people use and discard them and I have the utmost respect for even posting this out in the public. The fact that they can point that out means they can overcome it with enough elbow grease. They have the strength to break it because people full of that much love are stronger than they think more often than not. This is a kind soul not seen too often and I know my delivery may have seemed acidic, but don't disregard the message because of that. I think this is an awesome person. I just wanted to lend my own help in my own way.

I will hold firm that we can all change our reality by shifting control into ourselves whether you think that's possible or not. There are starving kids smiling and there are millionaires drowning in depression. Do not let trauma define you. Define your trauma on your own terms.

Again OP, do not look at this as an argument, these are 2 more people who care about your well-being. We just have a difference in opinion on how to convey that.

I meant my post to give encouragement to OP but if it comes off as just disrespectful, I'll gladly remove it.
 

Luminous

༻✧✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Messages
10,235
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I apologize if my comments were inflammatory, I was just pointing out what I observed. And I wasn't clear in that first highlighted section. The assumptions I made are all things OP stated having and I connected the dots. In psychology l, those issues they suffer from are often connected but I admit so could be off the mark in some area. Not completely wrong though. I meant that it is going to be impossible for the OP to reach the happiness they want(which is substantial relationships)if they want to spend their time isolated and pondering dark things but also craving affection. Unfortunately, living life to it's maximum and being an observer/philosopher full time is very difficult. Look through history and see that Buddha, Nietzsche. Socrates, Sartre, and Camus struggled with relationships too because you must be engaged in the moment.

OP is letting people use and discard them and I have the utmost respect for even posting this out in the public. The fact that they can point that out means they can overcome it with enough elbow grease. They have the strength to break it because people full of that much love are stronger than they think more often than not. This is a kind soul not seen too often and I know my delivery may have seemed acidic, but don't disregard the message because of that. I think this is an awesome person. I just wanted to lend my own help in my own way.

I will hold firm that we can all change our reality by shifting control into ourselves whether you think that's possible or not. There are starving kids smiling and there are millionaires drowning in depression. Do not let trauma define you. Define your trauma on your own terms.

Again OP, do not look at this as an argument, these are 2 more people who care about your well-being. We just have a difference in opinion on how to convey that.

I meant my post to give encouragement to OP but if it comes off as just disrespectful, I'll gladly remove it.

I very much appreciate your clarification. Even if we disagree, I am glad we can do so in a friendly manner. And so I welcome you to the forum too! :)
 

Obfuscate

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 20, 2016
Messages
1,907
MBTI Type
iNtP
Enneagram
954
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
i'm feeling lazy, but i will say that the most important aspect to examine when typing via enneagram is core fear... the other aspects are helpful, but the most surefire way to be certain is to see what makes you uncomfortable...
 

Red Memories

Haunted Echoes
Joined
Jun 3, 2017
Messages
6,315
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
215
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I have found thus far if you read a type description and go "EW GOD WHHY" cringing it is probably because you are that type.

*how I found my 4 fix*

anywhooo I see 92x... hard to see a head type exactly at the moment but to be honest some aspects sound pretty 7ish to me. I lean on 927 Sx/So at the moment. But a full questionnaire would help.

also welcome! I've been in this hole since I was 14...I'm 21 now...good luck...
 

Peter Deadpan

phallus impudicus
Joined
Dec 14, 2016
Messages
8,883
My very premature guess is 6 Sp/Sx. There were some social elements but they seem pseudo-social instinctually. 6s by nature have a "moving toward" tendency with regard to people, but social-blind 6s are not inherently skilled at this, but eventually become painfully aware of this deficit which leads to guilt.

This quote is of particular interest:

I am always fighting to feel capable but always under the surface feel that I am inept and unable to thrive in life

There are different ways to read this, but the sentiment itself is 6-ish. 6s feel that they are ill-equipped to deal with life, like they are lacking some internal strength or anchoring. It could also be read as a withdrawn type (4, 5, 9), but mostly 5 because 5s feel overwhelmed by human-ing and instead prefer to learn how to survive on their own.

Interestingly though, Sp/Sx is the most ineffectual or turned-in-on-oneself instinctual combination. There is no social orientation to pull themselves outward, AND it's contra-flow, which really just means that the order itself doesn't serve to meet the needs of the primary instinct. What I mean is that Sp/Sx is primarily focused (subconsciously) on preserving the self (Sp), resources, finances, health, safety, boundaries, etc. Sx conversely is focused on psychic/intimate/sexual nudity (think figuratively more than literally to get the basic idea of it), so unlike Sp, which is basically a wall, Sx is about penetrating boundaries as if they aren't even there.

Moving on, the second instinct is used to serve the needs of the first, so as you can see, using Sx to permeate through boundaries in order to achieve a sense of security/secure boundaries doesn't really flow well.

For comparison, Sp/So uses the social sphere to secure personal needs. These are the people on Facebook who are always asking things like "Does any one of my friends have a power washer I can borrow?" or "Can someone watch the kids for a couple hours tomorrow? I'll pay you in baked goods and garden goodies!" These people are comfortable asking for and giving help because the instinct with the least amount of pressure is Social (it's neither the life source or the neglected area). As you can see, that would be a very useful strategy for survival (and is not surprisingly the most common instinctual stack).

I wanted to write more but I'm tired and ineffectual regardless of type and so I must stop. :happy2:
 

Peter Deadpan

phallus impudicus
Joined
Dec 14, 2016
Messages
8,883
(My second guess is 9, still social-blind, but people tend to project what type they want to be, so I try to read past the wording of certain things)

A questionnaire or video would be helpful.
 

Luminous

༻✧✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Messages
10,235
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
My very premature guess is 6 Sp/Sx. There were some social elements but they seem pseudo-social instinctually. 6s by nature have a "moving toward" tendency with regard to people, but social-blind 6s are not inherently skilled at this, but eventually become painfully aware of this deficit which leads to guilt.

This quote is of particular interest:



There are different ways to read this, but the sentiment itself is 6-ish. 6s feel that they are ill-equipped to deal with life, like they are lacking some internal strength or anchoring. It could also be read as a withdrawn type (4, 5, 9), but mostly 5 because 5s feel overwhelmed by human-ing and instead prefer to learn how to survive on their own.

Interestingly though, Sp/Sx is the most ineffectual or turned-in-on-oneself instinctual combination. There is no social orientation to pull themselves outward, AND it's contra-flow, which really just means that the order itself doesn't serve to meet the needs of the primary instinct. What I mean is that Sp/Sx is primarily focused (subconsciously) on preserving the self (Sp), resources, finances, health, safety, boundaries, etc. Sx conversely is focused on psychic/intimate/sexual nudity (think figuratively more than literally to get the basic idea of it), so unlike Sp, which is basically a wall, Sx is about penetrating boundaries as if they aren't even there.

Moving on, the second instinct is used to serve the needs of the first, so as you can see, using Sx to permeate through boundaries in order to achieve a sense of security/secure boundaries doesn't really flow well.

For comparison, Sp/So uses the social sphere to secure personal needs. These are the people on Facebook who are always asking things like "Does any one of my friends have a power washer I can borrow?" or "Can someone watch the kids for a couple hours tomorrow? I'll pay you in baked goods and garden goodies!" These people are comfortable asking for and giving help because the instinct with the least amount of pressure is Social (it's neither the life source or the neglected area). As you can see, that would be a very useful strategy for survival (and is not surprisingly the most common instinctual stack).

I wanted to write more but I'm tired and ineffectual regardless of type and so I must stop. :happy2:

I think that depends largely on how introverted and withdrawn they are. My bf is likely sp/so, and he is basically a hermit who rarely asks anyone for anything.
 

Peter Deadpan

phallus impudicus
Joined
Dec 14, 2016
Messages
8,883
I think that depends largely on how introverted and withdrawn they are. My bf is likely sp/so, and he is basically a hermit who rarely asks anyone for anything.

I more just meant it as an example. I actually have a friend in particular that I was thinking of when I wrote this who seems to be 6w7 Sp/So. She does this stuff allllll the time.

I think a 5 Sp/So would be more career focused in terms of the social realm, as in perhaps only being "social" when it benefits their professional/material security. 5 Sp is The Hermit after all.
 
Joined
Aug 7, 2019
Messages
775
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
-
I have no comment on enneagram or socionics. INFJ is a rare type. But I think so, judging solely by your posting, you have extroverted feeling as one of the psychological functions in your psyche. Your brain is "melting"? may be it is an exhaustion. I often hear this grievance from an extroverted feeler dominant-introverted sensing type.
You should visit a psychiatry to get some counselling or psychotherapy before the depression gets more severe. Depression could seriously lead to suicide. I found a type that I idenfity as an INFJ has an unconscious aptitude in fine art: painting, carving. You should try doing some arts but for doing so you have to be successful in dealing with the unconscious side. You should pursue your interest in those fields that you mentioned. It should be easier since the era of free e-books than in the past.
 

Doctor Cringelord

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2013
Messages
20,567
MBTI Type
I
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I have found thus far if you read a type description and go "EW GOD WHHY" cringing it is probably because you are that type.

*how I found my 4 fix*

anywhooo I see 92x... hard to see a head type exactly at the moment but to be honest some aspects sound pretty 7ish to me. I lean on 927 Sx/So at the moment. But a full questionnaire would help.

also welcome! I've been in this hole since I was 14...I'm 21 now...good luck...

Perhaps if they're well-written type profiles. The problem is many aren't well written at all. Sometimes people write them in ways (likely unintentionally, but the bias still shows) where they play up the strengths of their own types and those similar to them, whilst exaggerating more of the weaknesses and the stereotypes associated with types less similar to their own type. This is likely why everyone seems to believe they're an INFJ upon first discovering MBTI online.
 
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