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Help, pls. INFJ or INFP?

cacaia

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Ok, so I will answer one of the questionnaires I found on the forum...Your support will be much appreciated! I am tired of being confused about what I use that is most dominant, yet have the opposite functions show up on online tests. Help, please! Am I INFP or INFJ?

1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?
There are many descriptions which alienate me from the types I typed as. When taking function tests, I usually score the highest on NI and Fe. The latest score was : Ni>fe=ne>ti>fi>se>si=te ....When I answer a question, someone attributes my answer to Fi and say that I don't use Fe. I am deeply confused.

2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?
That's a tough question. I think it's a shame to not have purpose in your life. I struggle to understand people who are selfish, who do not finish school and do not improve themselves; people who are not organ donors (they're not going to use their organs when they die, so why not let someone else that needs it have it???)
I guess the short answer is: I yearn to help and inspire as many people as possible before I die. I yearn to help the next generation be better than this generation, and take care of the Earth's issues and the people and animals that live herein. And I hope other people will do the same after I am gone.

3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.
I don't think I understand this question- finest as in externally? Or finest as in psychologically?
Externally- When I had a healthy weight and would dress up and go to art shows. Psychologically- When I was balanced, acted as an example of what I wanted to change in the world (vegetarian, recycling lady, picking up trash at the beach, etc).

4) What makes you feel inferior?
I'm not a T dom. I have dyscalcula. I am not as articulate as I would like to be in person (but in writing, I definitely am). I can't stand up for myself in an aggressive way, so people mistake me for a pushover.

5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)
I usually consider the people or animals my decision will affect. I weigh the pros and cons very carefully, and then make a decision about what is best for most people or animals in that given situation.

6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome?
I guess the emphasis is to get it done. I noticed that, as a teacher, I enjoy watching the thought process of my students way more than my colleague, who jumps in and adds her own hand to the students' work so that it looks a certain way (to her liking). I would never do that. If it looks like crap, at least the kid was still making connections and learning. If I jump in, it becomes about me, not the kid. I guess my emphasis is the process of the project? I also don't tend to do it by the book at all- I prefer the guesswork, the trying of one thing or another until it works.

7) Describe a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it?
This is probably the toughest question LOL. When I was in nature, by myself, feeling the power of the forest, and being in absolute awe of everything surrounding me, how everything is interconnected, and what a true miracle it is that we can all be this connected, from the smallest little atom to the biggest burning stars. It is almost a spiritual feeling- it makes you feel drunk with awe. It makes you think of all the gods and goddesses- old and new- and understand them.

8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you?
I am a visual learner. When studying, I often write what I need to learn down on pencil, go over it with pen (so I can re read everything I wrote) and then, usually during the test, I remember the answer by visualizing what I wrote. I love charts, as they give me visual information.

9) How organized do you think of yourself as?
Not that organized, though I cannot stand living in a messy house. My husband can have piles and piles of stuff, books and computer parts everywhere, and this drives me NUTS- Though I usually can't keep everything as tidy as I would like (because I don't live alone), I need to be able to see the floor and have a designated place for everything. I am also the only person who manages our files here at home.

10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?
I guess I try to see the principles behind it to see if they make sense and THEN I check to see if there is literature or research about it.

11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?
I guess I need to make sure everyone is feeling OK and comfortable (psychologically- I do not like to necessarily take physical care of people). I will always believe what I think it's right, but I won't necessarily speak my mind at all times for the sake of the group, unless something really offensive is happening.

12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?
I prefer one on one communications and I mostly am impulsive and speak before thinking.

13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?
I have no idea. I truly do not know. But I think that if there is no absolute danger, words speak more than actions.

14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?
I will probably stay in, unless I am really excited about the outing OR if my friends really need me there for emotional support. But mostly I will stay in, especially after a long day of work.

15) How do you act when you're stressed out?
Inwardly, I get frustrated. Outwardly, I remember to breathe and I try to talk in as much a calm voice as I can. This happens with people outside of my family. My immediate family knows me inside out, and I would probably be short with them, apologizing when I am calmer again. I also binge eat, and if I continue to be stressed out after that, I start to blame myself for the littlest things.

16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people?
I have a hard time with people who are selfish and put themselves first; I do not like harsh people who call others "weak" for having a calmer way about them; I hate people who want to have control and use their power to undermine those who are more fragile (children, the elderly, animals, etc). I also do not like people who think their religion is right and try to convert others as opposed to keeping an open mind.

17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people?
I love to talk philosophy, quantum physics, discuss books I've read, discuss articles, politics, history. I love talking about the well being of others, sharing funny or cute stories of what kids have said or celebrate people for their amazing thoughts and actions that are admirable.

18) What kind of things do you pay the least attention to in your life?
Fashion. Make up. Sports. Drab talk such as house decorating and buying things. Brangelina and all the tabloid trash out there. Stuff people consider cool, sexy, etc. Shallow and not intellectual enough stuff.

19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? ? What would your friends never say about your personality ?
My friends say that I am happy go lucky, a friendly person, and very sweet and caring. This surprises me, because I sometimes feel selfish and a real bitch to others, though they don't perceive it that way. If I am angry and confront someone, people don't perceive it as a confrontation. Also, I value my time with my books. If people interrupt me when I am reading or thinking, or if they keep coming at me talking about something they did and then another thing and then another, it is really annoying. I am annoyed all the time, in fact, by things others aren't that annoyed about. I must mask it well, though, because people don't seem to perceive it. I guess people would never say that I am unkind.Once I made a moderately centrist comment about how some people shouldn't mooch off the government if they did not really need help, and someone thought my FB account was hacked because of that comment :D

20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing?
Meditating. Being one with nature. And, or course, reading. Maybe working on my novel.Watching happy endings (but not really being part of it).
 

cascadeco

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I'm not sure why people don't think you are Fe/FJ - and I also just saw a type thread you made a few months ago and the consensus was Fe. I don't see anything that seems anti-INFJ. You seem very externally oriented towards others and prioritizing the group/others. And, if you relate and test as Fe moreso (which in itself is rare on this forum, even with many FJ's), then there you go.
 

cacaia

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I'm not sure why people don't think you are Fe/FJ - and I also just saw a type thread you made a few months ago and the consensus was Fe. I don't see anything that seems anti-INFJ. You seem very externally oriented towards others and prioritizing the group/others. And, if you relate and test as Fe moreso (which in itself is rare on this forum, even with many FJ's), then there you go.

Thanks, Cascadeco. Sometimes it is maddening when people say things which clash with what I test as;-)
I want to make of my type, too, for well being purposes. I need to be able to nip unhealthy behaviors in the bud....I guess I need to just accept that I truly am INFJ and that will be that...
 

cascadeco

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Thanks, Cascadeco. Sometimes it is maddening when people say things which clash with what I test as;-)
I want to make of my type, too, for well being purposes. I need to be able to nip unhealthy behaviors in the bud....I guess I need to just accept that I truly am INFJ and that will be that...

Part of the problem is that things aren't terribly objective when it comes to typing; so everyone will have an opinion. Too, I think it can be common to think that one thing someone writes reflects X function and only X function - whereas the reality is that a) While it might indicate that function, that doesn't mean the person still isn't another type (Meaning: everyone can and will utilize every function in certain situations or at certain times); or b) that function might not be the *only* possibility and it could be another two different functions that are going on; it might be much more complicated than what appears on the surface. Things like that.

Also, regarding Fi/Fe specifically, that's really muddy. Like I said earlier, I'd say many/most INFJ's on this site have related moreso to Fi descriptions than Fe (thus the fact that you relate to Fe says a lot) --- so there's nothing out there that says Fe users won't still have their own sets of values and beliefs, interests, passions, and the like, or that Fe users are incapable of setting their own boundaries/asserting their own needs or holding fast to those beliefs. (INTP's often 'relate' a lot more to Fi vs Fe as well).

I'm not in a position to 'know' what your type is; all I'm saying is that nothing you wrote goes against INFJ, and to me had more of an emphasis on what Fe is traditionally understood to be. Additionally, INFJ's often have a pretty deep emotional well and are often extremely introspective and that includes looking at and trying to know their own internal state - which some might think is Fi-ish. I'd say you're exhibiting the 'pattern' of what used to happen early on in the forum -- pretty much every INFJ back then (including myself) would eventually become very confused with Fi/Fe, and while when joining the site were very clear that they were FJ in preference, that quickly disintegrated once functions came into play. Functions are a mess. ;)
 

robert666

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I want to make of my type, too, for well being purposes. I need to be able to nip unhealthy behaviors in the bud....
If you want to nip your unhealthy behaviours in the bud wouldn't you be able to do that anyway? Why do you need to know your type for that? What if type yourself wrong and nip the wrong behaviours? After all millions of people work on their unhealthy behaviours without knowing their type.

With regards to finding your type, what is your criteria for accepting that you are a certain type? Is it enough for someone else to say that you are type X and you accept it? Or do you have to understand everything in detail yourself? Or is there some other criteria?
 

cascadeco

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If you want to nip your unhealthy behaviours in the bud wouldn't you be able to do that anyway? Why do you need to know your type for that? What if type yourself wrong and nip the wrong behaviours? After all millions of people work on their unhealthy behaviours without knowing their type.

So true.
 

cacaia

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Part of the problem is that things aren't terribly objective when it comes to typing; so everyone will have an opinion. Too, I think it can be common to think that one thing someone writes reflects X function and only X function - whereas the reality is that a) While it might indicate that function, that doesn't mean the person still isn't another type (Meaning: everyone can and will utilize every function in certain situations or at certain times); or b) that function might not be the *only* possibility and it could be another two different functions that are going on; it might be much more complicated than what appears on the surface. Things like that.

Also, regarding Fi/Fe specifically, that's really muddy. Like I said earlier, I'd say many/most INFJ's on this site have related moreso to Fi descriptions than Fe (thus the fact that you relate to Fe says a lot) --- so there's nothing out there that says Fe users won't still have their own sets of values and beliefs, interests, passions, and the like, or that Fe users are incapable of setting their own boundaries/asserting their own needs or holding fast to those beliefs. (INTP's often 'relate' a lot more to Fi vs Fe as well).

I'm not in a position to 'know' what your type is; all I'm saying is that nothing you wrote goes against INFJ, and to me had more of an emphasis on what Fe is traditionally understood to be. Additionally, INFJ's often have a pretty deep emotional well and are often extremely introspective and that includes looking at and trying to know their own internal state - which some might think is Fi-ish. I'd say you're exhibiting the 'pattern' of what used to happen early on in the forum -- pretty much every INFJ back then (including myself) would eventually become very confused with Fi/Fe, and while when joining the site were very clear that they were FJ in preference, that quickly disintegrated once functions came into play. Functions are a mess. ;)

If you want to nip your unhealthy behaviours in the bud wouldn't you be able to do that anyway? Why do you need to know your type for that? What if type yourself wrong and nip the wrong behaviours? After all millions of people work on their unhealthy behaviours without knowing their type.

With regards to finding your type, what is your criteria for accepting that you are a certain type? Is it enough for someone else to say that you are type X and you accept it? Or do you have to understand everything in detail yourself? Or is there some other criteria?

Great questions.
I am extremely preoccupied about mistyping and then nipping the wrong behaviors. Hence trying to find my true type.
I guess my criteria falls under your second statement, the one about having to understand everything myself. But also, from an external view, how am I perceived by others? Does it match what I discover about myself?
I really shouldn't bother, for I think i will never find the answer. And worse- I probably will look the answer straight in the face and keep searching, because, what if it's not the answer? :doh:I annoy myself sometimes.
 

robert666

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Great questions.
I am extremely preoccupied about mistyping and then nipping the wrong behaviors. Hence trying to find my true type.
I guess my criteria falls under your second statement, the one about having to understand everything myself. But also, from an external view, how am I perceived by others? Does it match what I discover about myself?
I really shouldn't bother, for I think i will never find the answer. And worse- I probably will look the answer straight in the face and keep searching, because, what if it's not the answer? :doh:I annoy myself sometimes.

I'd like to point out that you can understand everything about yourself without ever knowing about personality types. Also your type doesn't explain everything about you, there is also your life experience to take into account. So if you are only focused on personality types to explain everything about you then you may be making it more difficult for yourself.

As far as considering how you are perceived by others, keep in mind that the people who type you here know very little about you. Lots of them don't even know their own types and are here trying to get help to figure it out, but they are quite happy to type you. That's like you sitting in the doctor's waiting room and getting diagnosed by the other patients who are also waiting. How seriously can you take that? You'd be better off getting feedback from people that you know well and comparing it to what you know about yourself.

If you are looking to get a better understanding of personality types then there are plenty of sub-forums here that you can peruse through to get information on functions and dichotomies.
 

cacaia

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Part of the problem is that things aren't terribly objective when it comes to typing; so everyone will have an opinion. Too, I think it can be common to think that one thing someone writes reflects X function and only X function - whereas the reality is that a) While it might indicate that function, that doesn't mean the person still isn't another type (Meaning: everyone can and will utilize every function in certain situations or at certain times); or b) that function might not be the *only* possibility and it could be another two different functions that are going on; it might be much more complicated than what appears on the surface. Things like that.

Also, regarding Fi/Fe specifically, that's really muddy. Like I said earlier, I'd say many/most INFJ's on this site have related moreso to Fi descriptions than Fe (thus the fact that you relate to Fe says a lot) --- so there's nothing out there that says Fe users won't still have their own sets of values and beliefs, interests, passions, and the like, or that Fe users are incapable of setting their own boundaries/asserting their own needs or holding fast to those beliefs. (INTP's often 'relate' a lot more to Fi vs Fe as well).

I'm not in a position to 'know' what your type is; all I'm saying is that nothing you wrote goes against INFJ, and to me had more of an emphasis on what Fe is traditionally understood to be. Additionally, INFJ's often have a pretty deep emotional well and are often extremely introspective and that includes looking at and trying to know their own internal state - which some might think is Fi-ish. I'd say you're exhibiting the 'pattern' of what used to happen early on in the forum -- pretty much every INFJ back then (including myself) would eventually become very confused with Fi/Fe, and while when joining the site were very clear that they were FJ in preference, that quickly disintegrated once functions came into play. Functions are a mess. ;)

I'd like to point out that you can understand everything about yourself without ever knowing about personality types. Also your type doesn't explain everything about you, there is also your life experience to take into account. So if you are only focused on personality types to explain everything about you then you may be making it more difficult for yourself.

As far as considering how you are perceived by others, keep in mind that the people who type you here know very little about you. Lots of them don't even know their own types and are here trying to get help to figure it out, but they are quite happy to type you. That's like you sitting in the doctor's waiting room and getting diagnosed by the other patients who are also waiting. How seriously can you take that? You'd be better off getting feedback from people that you know well and comparing it to what you know about yourself.

If you are looking to get a better understanding of personality types then there are plenty of sub-forums here that you can peruse through to get information on functions and dichotomies.

You are right. Thank you.
 

wildmoon

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I get an INFJ vibe from the way you write, although I'm not sure why. You seem like an INFJ to me.
 

cacaia

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I guess this is what I had in mind, kind of, with also the questionnaire I answered above....

People Don't Actually Know Themselves Very Well - The Atlantic - Pocket

I also was hoping INFPs and INFJs would check this post out and, by reading this questionnaire, go- "yes, this resonates with me", or "this is exactly how I think, too"....
I dunno, some camaraderie in a world that I consider crazy and confusing. Anyway. Thanks to those of you who have read this post, and for those of you that gave input.
 

Turi

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Which do you resonate with more, P or J?
It's that simple. The MBTI does not in any way shape nor form actually test for any functions-in-attitudes.

Seriously, P or J. That's it.
 

cacaia

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Part of the problem is that things aren't terribly objective when it comes to typing; so everyone will have an opinion. Too, I think it can be common to think that one thing someone writes reflects X function and only X function - whereas the reality is that a) While it might indicate that function, that doesn't mean the person still isn't another type (Meaning: everyone can and will utilize every function in certain situations or at certain times); or b) that function might not be the *only* possibility and it could be another two different functions that are going on; it might be much more complicated than what appears on the surface. Things like that.

Also, regarding Fi/Fe specifically, that's really muddy. Like I said earlier, I'd say many/most INFJ's on this site have related moreso to Fi descriptions than Fe (thus the fact that you relate to Fe says a lot) --- so there's nothing out there that says Fe users won't still have their own sets of values and beliefs, interests, passions, and the like, or that Fe users are incapable of setting their own boundaries/asserting their own needs or holding fast to those beliefs. (INTP's often 'relate' a lot more to Fi vs Fe as well).

I'm not in a position to 'know' what your type is; all I'm saying is that nothing you wrote goes against INFJ, and to me had more of an emphasis on what Fe is traditionally understood to be. Additionally, INFJ's often have a pretty deep emotional well and are often extremely introspective and that includes looking at and trying to know their own internal state - which some might think is Fi-ish. I'd say you're exhibiting the 'pattern' of what used to happen early on in the forum -- pretty much every INFJ back then (including myself) would eventually become very confused with Fi/Fe, and while when joining the site were very clear that they were FJ in preference, that quickly disintegrated once functions came into play. Functions are a mess. ;)

I get an INFJ vibe from the way you write, although I'm not sure why. You seem like an INFJ to me.
Thanks. This is helpful.
I like your "Almost too Ti to function", bti.:thumbup:. I sometimes feel like I am "almost too Ni to function":)
 

Luminous

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My responses are in blue.

cacaia;3124179[B said:
2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?[/B]
That's a tough question. I think it's a shame to not have purpose in your life. I struggle to understand people who are selfish, who do not finish school and do not improve themselves; people who are not organ donors (they're not going to use their organs when they die, so why not let someone else that needs it have it???)
I guess the short answer is: I yearn to help and inspire as many people as possible before I die. I yearn to help the next generation be better than this generation, and take care of the Earth's issues and the people and animals that live herein. And I hope other people will do the same after I am gone.

My answer to this question would be much more centered on my self, something along the lines of grand sweeping love. And I'd probably mention how I wanted to help people and animals, but it would be focused on a smaller scale. Now these differences could just be differing values (if we were both INFPs) or they could be instinctual variant differences (I'm sx/sp, you're so/sp).

5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)
I usually consider the people or animals my decision will affect. I weigh the pros and cons very carefully, and then make a decision about what is best for most people or animals in that given situation.

I wouldn't make a decision based on what is best for most people or animals, but rather what I think is right. That may coincide with what is best for the most, but it also might not. I would not easily sacrifice one for many. Similar comments as above, in regards to whether this is Fi vs Fe, Fi vs Fi with differing values, or sx/sp vs so/sp.

7) Describe a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it?
This is probably the toughest question LOL. When I was in nature, by myself, feeling the power of the forest, and being in absolute awe of everything surrounding me, how everything is interconnected, and what a true miracle it is that we can all be this connected, from the smallest little atom to the biggest burning stars. It is almost a spiritual feeling- it makes you feel drunk with awe. It makes you think of all the gods and goddesses- old and new- and understand them.

I love being in nature also, though I don't concentrate so much on the interconnectedness, but on just being in the moment and enjoying all the beauty and wonder.

11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?
I guess I need to make sure everyone is feeling OK and comfortable (psychologically- I do not like to necessarily take physical care of people). I will always believe what I think it's right, but I won't necessarily speak my mind at all times for the sake of the group, unless something really offensive is happening.

The latter answer in the question is more important to me than the former, though they are both important. I do strive to help people. But there are values I have to follow.

12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?
I prefer one on one communications and I mostly am impulsive and speak before thinking.

In general, I think before speaking. I prefer one on one, but also enjoy some groups.

13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?
I have no idea. I truly do not know. But I think that if there is no absolute danger, words speak more than actions.

I like to know where I'm jumping before I leap.

15) How do you act when you're stressed out?
Inwardly, I get frustrated. Outwardly, I remember to breathe and I try to talk in as much a calm voice as I can. This happens with people outside of my family. My immediate family knows me inside out, and I would probably be short with them, apologizing when I am calmer again. I also binge eat, and if I continue to be stressed out after that, I start to blame myself for the littlest things.

The bolded sounds like inferior Se.

I can relate to a lot of what you say. And I can sympathize with trying to figure out INFJ vs INFP (I tend to get INFJ on dichotomy based tests). I strongly identify with Fi, and Ne. I can see myself use Fe. But Ni is an area where I just have a difficult time seeing myself use it very much. Would comparing your use of those functions be helpful? Like, do you see yourself use Ne a lot? Do you get excited about possibilities? Could you brainstorm for a long time about something you find exciting?

I would guess that you're INFJ, because I think your answers do seem more Fe than Fi, and Ni than Ne, but I could be wrong. :)
 

cacaia

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Thanks, Luminous, I definitely appreciate your answers! To answer your Ne question, I like new possibilities, but it does get overwhelming if there are too many...also, brainstorming is great, but in short spurts. If there are just too many ways to see a situation and everyone has an opinion with no consensus, brainstorming becomes a nightmare😋 Especially if I feel strongly about an idea and others don't see it my way...
 
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