Hey,
I'm trying to type myself or at least get a closer look at what my type may be and cos I totally believe the Enneagram is a formidable tool to spot one's tendencies. I am here giving lots of details on my life if this can be of help to you and if you wished to give a hand on my trying to type myself.
I think I may be a type 3. It's been 2 years that I went through a huge life crisis, questioning my self, my life, my feeling I sacrificed myself to fill the - supposed - demands and needs of others then at the cost of having time to get to spot whom I am and what I'd like. So I'm just out of these 2 years where I corrected some stuff that I felt were too much for my shoulders and I'm left with still a need and a strong belief there is room for improvement.
The last 2 years that I also took off work I took them with the goal of nailing what in my life got me to feel so anxious, almost paranoid that I was consistently under the spotlight, wanted, and guilty that I could not answer all demands (I was workholic in the sense that I woke up at 4 a.m went to bed at 11 p.m just before going off for 2 years). Of course since then I nailed I'm no center of the universe and if I guess others do appreciate here and then a hand or piece of advice from me they most of the time have their own lives and stuff to think and aren't "always" looking at me hoping I fill what they are missing.
What makes me believe and have difficulty at the same time typing myself as a 3 is I can sense that I was for long an unhealthy type so it's hard to see my pattern in this context. And since I'm healthier, well, it's to feel I can take on many different personalities just like an actor puts on various outfits but with the question for me: what then is the "true me" with no make-up and no outfit, is there even such a thing?
I still tend to believe and sense I must be a type 3 most of the time (all I do I do to "improve myself" with goals and deadlines, included social withdrawal from society, well let's say rather partial isolation was consciously made so as to screen my inner self and sort out what caused me what I had identified as social issues back then). I think many of my hyper closed friends are types 2 with whom friendships have lasted longest with intense deep talks and them being all about sesking love and being loved where I on the other hand don't seek love, I know I am loved, my issue is more I doubt I can find a place where I can stay where I can be useful for long cos it tires me a lot to give give give and sometimes I'd like to rest. And guilt arises from having to tell I need to rest in places I'd like to keep investing. Fearing I won't be understood and rejected as "unproductive" Even if I have no doubts I'm full of qualities, it's more that I'd like to find a place where my qualities 'that I have not all nor enough identified, I find' can be valued and wanted.
I find my life is a huge success for myself. I had periods where I was overtly concerned about the state of the world, overtly giving to causes, trying to change my way of working my job to fit ethics I thought were missing (also judgemental back then). The success of my life I attribute to having done my best in various domains and got to try so many various situations. This "success" maybe not be considered as such in 2019 public eye but I also would have so much to tell about all I did in so many domains in my life that the idea of doing so to show how "succesful" I may be tires me a lot, feels vain too - Former me used to tell a lot about what i was on and about to any person wanted to hear or I suspect maybe not too lol - and also cos there is so much more to create and do and achieve that talking about past achievements in my own eyes and perhaps also objectively - plurilingualism, well-travelled, knowledgeable in a great number of domains, etc. - can be a loss of time)
I find I lived it all a lot in the last 15 years (I'm 30), that I'd like to reexperience some crazy things I enjoyed (which may not be socially that amazing but these simple things I loved), and that I'd like to create some more nice experiences but if I were to die tomorrow I can say I got perhaps to live most of what a human being may want in a human life. At least, how I define it.
So here I don't know if this thinking according to my own standards is more 4. I have some degrees but I dropped some others that were socially rewarding cos I felt tired to only value myself through studies (had done it most of my life) and wished to value myself through a real concrete job. Then I feel I overworked for the first few years of concrete job (just like I had at school, then studies) and there again I felt I was missing something in being so involved at work so I isolated myself and overinvested self-development and inner self study and there again I felt it was amazing but I needed now to reinvest all domains at a time with average energy (instead of only focusing on one domain with all resources) Domains like work, health, psychee, frienships, family, some hobbies, some community volunteering and my job
That's it for how I went through life and if you ever get through all the details I purposefully gave if they can ever help, thank you and thank you if you can also give some feedbacks on the typing thing, it may really help me.
Wishing you the best
Lena
I'm trying to type myself or at least get a closer look at what my type may be and cos I totally believe the Enneagram is a formidable tool to spot one's tendencies. I am here giving lots of details on my life if this can be of help to you and if you wished to give a hand on my trying to type myself.
I think I may be a type 3. It's been 2 years that I went through a huge life crisis, questioning my self, my life, my feeling I sacrificed myself to fill the - supposed - demands and needs of others then at the cost of having time to get to spot whom I am and what I'd like. So I'm just out of these 2 years where I corrected some stuff that I felt were too much for my shoulders and I'm left with still a need and a strong belief there is room for improvement.
The last 2 years that I also took off work I took them with the goal of nailing what in my life got me to feel so anxious, almost paranoid that I was consistently under the spotlight, wanted, and guilty that I could not answer all demands (I was workholic in the sense that I woke up at 4 a.m went to bed at 11 p.m just before going off for 2 years). Of course since then I nailed I'm no center of the universe and if I guess others do appreciate here and then a hand or piece of advice from me they most of the time have their own lives and stuff to think and aren't "always" looking at me hoping I fill what they are missing.
What makes me believe and have difficulty at the same time typing myself as a 3 is I can sense that I was for long an unhealthy type so it's hard to see my pattern in this context. And since I'm healthier, well, it's to feel I can take on many different personalities just like an actor puts on various outfits but with the question for me: what then is the "true me" with no make-up and no outfit, is there even such a thing?
I still tend to believe and sense I must be a type 3 most of the time (all I do I do to "improve myself" with goals and deadlines, included social withdrawal from society, well let's say rather partial isolation was consciously made so as to screen my inner self and sort out what caused me what I had identified as social issues back then). I think many of my hyper closed friends are types 2 with whom friendships have lasted longest with intense deep talks and them being all about sesking love and being loved where I on the other hand don't seek love, I know I am loved, my issue is more I doubt I can find a place where I can stay where I can be useful for long cos it tires me a lot to give give give and sometimes I'd like to rest. And guilt arises from having to tell I need to rest in places I'd like to keep investing. Fearing I won't be understood and rejected as "unproductive" Even if I have no doubts I'm full of qualities, it's more that I'd like to find a place where my qualities 'that I have not all nor enough identified, I find' can be valued and wanted.
I find my life is a huge success for myself. I had periods where I was overtly concerned about the state of the world, overtly giving to causes, trying to change my way of working my job to fit ethics I thought were missing (also judgemental back then). The success of my life I attribute to having done my best in various domains and got to try so many various situations. This "success" maybe not be considered as such in 2019 public eye but I also would have so much to tell about all I did in so many domains in my life that the idea of doing so to show how "succesful" I may be tires me a lot, feels vain too - Former me used to tell a lot about what i was on and about to any person wanted to hear or I suspect maybe not too lol - and also cos there is so much more to create and do and achieve that talking about past achievements in my own eyes and perhaps also objectively - plurilingualism, well-travelled, knowledgeable in a great number of domains, etc. - can be a loss of time)
I find I lived it all a lot in the last 15 years (I'm 30), that I'd like to reexperience some crazy things I enjoyed (which may not be socially that amazing but these simple things I loved), and that I'd like to create some more nice experiences but if I were to die tomorrow I can say I got perhaps to live most of what a human being may want in a human life. At least, how I define it.
So here I don't know if this thinking according to my own standards is more 4. I have some degrees but I dropped some others that were socially rewarding cos I felt tired to only value myself through studies (had done it most of my life) and wished to value myself through a real concrete job. Then I feel I overworked for the first few years of concrete job (just like I had at school, then studies) and there again I felt I was missing something in being so involved at work so I isolated myself and overinvested self-development and inner self study and there again I felt it was amazing but I needed now to reinvest all domains at a time with average energy (instead of only focusing on one domain with all resources) Domains like work, health, psychee, frienships, family, some hobbies, some community volunteering and my job
That's it for how I went through life and if you ever get through all the details I purposefully gave if they can ever help, thank you and thank you if you can also give some feedbacks on the typing thing, it may really help me.
Wishing you the best
Lena