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  1. #21
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    Hi Quick!

    To answer your questions:

    There are a few different possible goals of treatment for DID people. The one that used to be pretty much the only option in years past was called "integration", but we call it "merging" to differentiate it from a different type of integration that our therapist taught us about, which we prefer. "Merging" is basically trying to merge all of the separate parts/alters/identities back into one whole person. Back when we were misdiagnosed for nine years (from age 18 to age 27), our therapists were telling us that we had "something a little bit similar to multiple personalities" (even though they had frequent conversations with Doug, myself, and two other parts named Lilith and Heidi that we met a few years into that time period). They basically told me (Leyna), Lilith and Heidi that we were "delusions" and needed to be "merged" with Doug and/or "gotten rid of" if he was ever going to live a "normal" life. We tried to do that, but every time we thought we had succeeded, we eventually realized that we were still separate.

    Then, when we finally met a therapist who recognized that we had DID and knew how to properly treat it, he told us that he didn't believe, in his experience of about 15-20 years by that point of working with DID clients, that it was possible to truly "merge" the parts back together. That was actually a huge relief to us, because it meant that we could finally stop trying something that NEVER worked for us. But he taught us what did work, which was a different kind of "integration". He taught us that we need to learn to work together with each other, so that we are all in harmony and cooperating for the common good of helping to manage our collective life. We are all still separate in the internal world, and we always will be, but we can appear to the outside world to be one productive, functioning, "normal" person if we work at cooperating with each other. Also, a BIG part of therapy work for a DID person is working through the emotions related to the trauma that caused us to be separated in the first place. My previous therapists were so focused on "merging" us that they barely scratched the surface of our childhood traumas.

    Which leads me to your other questions... (Sorry for the length of this, but it is a LOT to explain...) DID is caused by childhood trauma (usually extreme abuse and/or neglect), and it always starts before the age of about 7 or 8. Our therapist explained to us that this is because that is the age at which a human brain is developed enough to have other ways of dealing with trauma rather than "splitting". If someone experiences extreme trauma after that age, they can develop PTSD, or other disorders, but not DID. Since DID is caused by trauma, and not by any chemical imbalance, it is not genetic, nor can it be treated by medications. However, some of the symptoms of DID can be treated by medications, such as depression, anxiety, etc. When we were misdiagnosed, our psychiatrist had us on several different medications, mostly anti-depressants and anti-psychotics. (He explained to us that anti-psychotics were used for a variety of reasons, it didn't mean that he thought we were psychotic...) After we met our current therapist (the one who diagnosed us as DID), he encouraged us to try to wean off of the drugs, because he thought we could cope without them once we learned how to cooperate with each other. He did tell us that we need to wean off of them gradually, under medical supervision, which we did. And he was right. We have not taken any psychiatric meds for probably about 11-12 years now, and we are doing fine without them.

    Oh, and your last question: Yes, some of us like classical music, especially the two parts who are older than the physical age of our body. But we also like a wide variety of other types of music, too.

    I think I've answered all of your questions... Let me know if my answers raise more questions!

    Leyna
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  2. #22
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    Crystal Winter Dream,

    Thanks for the welcome!

  3. #23
    Senior Member Quick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dougvincent1138 View Post
    Hi Quick!

    To answer your questions:

    There are a few different possible goals of treatment for DID people. The one that used to be pretty much the only option in years past was called "integration", but we call it "merging" to differentiate it from a different type of integration that our therapist taught us about, which we prefer. "Merging" is basically trying to merge all of the separate parts/alters/identities back into one whole person. Back when we were misdiagnosed for nine years (from age 18 to age 27), our therapists were telling us that we had "something a little bit similar to multiple personalities" (even though they had frequent conversations with Doug, myself, and two other parts named Lilith and Heidi that we met a few years into that time period). They basically told me (Leyna), Lilith and Heidi that we were "delusions" and needed to be "merged" with Doug and/or "gotten rid of" if he was ever going to live a "normal" life. We tried to do that, but every time we thought we had succeeded, we eventually realized that we were still separate.

    Then, when we finally met a therapist who recognized that we had DID and knew how to properly treat it, he told us that he didn't believe, in his experience of about 15-20 years by that point of working with DID clients, that it was possible to truly "merge" the parts back together. That was actually a huge relief to us, because it meant that we could finally stop trying something that NEVER worked for us. But he taught us what did work, which was a different kind of "integration". He taught us that we need to learn to work together with each other, so that we are all in harmony and cooperating for the common good of helping to manage our collective life. We are all still separate in the internal world, and we always will be, but we can appear to the outside world to be one productive, functioning, "normal" person if we work at cooperating with each other. Also, a BIG part of therapy work for a DID person is working through the emotions related to the trauma that caused us to be separated in the first place. My previous therapists were so focused on "merging" us that they barely scratched the surface of our childhood traumas.

    Which leads me to your other questions... (Sorry for the length of this, but it is a LOT to explain...) DID is caused by childhood trauma (usually extreme abuse and/or neglect), and it always starts before the age of about 7 or 8. Our therapist explained to us that this is because that is the age at which a human brain is developed enough to have other ways of dealing with trauma rather than "splitting". If someone experiences extreme trauma after that age, they can develop PTSD, or other disorders, but not DID. Since DID is caused by trauma, and not by any chemical imbalance, it is not genetic, nor can it be treated by medications. However, some of the symptoms of DID can be treated by medications, such as depression, anxiety, etc. When we were misdiagnosed, our psychiatrist had us on several different medications, mostly anti-depressants and anti-psychotics. (He explained to us that anti-psychotics were used for a variety of reasons, it didn't mean that he thought we were psychotic...) After we met our current therapist (the one who diagnosed us as DID), he encouraged us to try to wean off of the drugs, because he thought we could cope without them once we learned how to cooperate with each other. He did tell us that we need to wean off of them gradually, under medical supervision, which we did. And he was right. We have not taken any psychiatric meds for probably about 11-12 years now, and we are doing fine without them.

    Oh, and your last question: Yes, some of us like classical music, especially the two parts who are older than the physical age of our body. But we also like a wide variety of other types of music, too.

    I think I've answered all of your questions... Let me know if my answers raise more questions!

    Leyna
    It's really very interesting. Thank you for answering. And ofc, I am very sorry to hear that you had to go through that kind of trauma. I have been through some trauma myself and I know it can be very difficult to sort through some of that stuff.

    I am excited to see you post elsewhere on the forum as well.
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  4. #24
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    Hello Leyna and others. I'm curious to know how you've learned to cooperate. I hope this is not too intrusive a question. How does Leyna get a turn to post on the forum and not get into a fight with another who may want to be the star of the system for the moment?

    By the way, if you want to get someone's attention on the forum, you can either 'quote' them or '@' them. You can 'quote' somebody by hitting the icon that looks like a speech bubble and writing your response in between the tags. To '@' someone, you write the at symbol and then immediately after, with no space, their username.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by awbro View Post
    Hello Leyna and others. I'm curious to know how you've learned to cooperate. I hope this is not too intrusive a question. How does Leyna get a turn to post on the forum and not get into a fight with another who may want to be the star of the system for the moment?

    By the way, if you want to get someone's attention on the forum, you can either 'quote' them or '@' them. You can 'quote' somebody by hitting the icon that looks like a speech bubble and writing your response in between the tags. To '@' someone, you write the at symbol and then immediately after, with no space, their username.
    Hi awbro,

    Don't worry, I don't think your question is too intrusive. Our therapist has taught us a lot of techniques to help us cooperate as a system better, including having "meetings" with all of us where we discuss things going on in our life, and writing contracts about problem areas in our life that we all have to sign and abide by (sort of like a "Constitution" of our system). And also, he has encouraged us to each work through our own specific traumas, which helps each of us to be better balanced emotionally as individuals, which of course helps us to be able to get along with each other better.

    We have also found that having various parts take the MBTI test helps us each to understand our individual selves better, which helps us to better understand how we can interconnect our individual strengths and weaknesses to help each other out.

    As to your other question about other parts getting jealous of me, Leyna, because I'm the one doing the posting in this group... That's not really an issue, because the only reason I have been doing the posting is because I am the one who is the most excited about this group and the MBTI. I'm also the one who is most excited about wanting to educate others about DID. However, I do sometimes get over-zealous and stress myself out by doing too much and at the same time worrying that I'm not doing enough. A while back one of the others in our system, Lynn, (one of our protector parts) basically told me that I need to take a vacation in the internal world for a while, so I did. It wasn't a punishment, but more like she was telling me "Take a break. You deserve it. We can handle it for a while." Lately I've been feeling like I might need to take a break again soon. I've been stressing myself out, and causing us to have headaches. Actually, when I read the profile for my personality type, The Advocate (INFJ), it said that we sometimes need to take a break from the world to de-stress and decompress. One advantage to having DID is that while I'm taking a break, the others can run our life, so we don't have to totally take a break from all of our daily responsibilities.

    Anyway, I feel like I'm way over-explaining again. I tend to do that a lot LOL! I hope my explanation has helped you to understand us and me a little better.

    Leyna

    Ps Thanks for the advice on posting!
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  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quick View Post
    It's really very interesting. Thank you for answering. And ofc, I am very sorry to hear that you had to go through that kind of trauma. I have been through some trauma myself and I know it can be very difficult to sort through some of that stuff.

    I am excited to see you post elsewhere on the forum as well.
    Thanks, Quick!

    So far this thread has kept me busy answering everyone's questions, but we hope to start posting on other threads and/or start our own threads soon! Not that I'm complaining about everyone asking questions. I'm glad everyone is curious and wanting to learn more about DID! There is far too much misunderstanding, misinformation and stigma about DID out there, so I enjoy doing whatever I can to educate people and help them to understand the truth about it.

    Leyna
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  7. #27
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    Leyna, may I ask why you skipped me? :c

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Norexan View Post
    I will say that you are probably INFP <= "I am all the types at ones." Some Fi-Ne or Ne-Fi getting wrong... (self illusions of multiple possibilities)
    Hi Norexan,

    We do have at least two INFP's in our system, Doug and Lilith. However, we also have at least two INFJ's, one ENFJ, four ENFP's, one ESFJ, one ENTJ, one ISFP, one ISFJ, one INTJ, one INTP, and one ENTP. (I say "at least" because only 16 out of our 70 parts have taken the test so far.)

    If you are trying to say what I think you are trying to say, that we are really one person that is deluding himself into thinking that he has DID, you are not only incorrect, but very rude and offensive. I wouldn't presume to tell you that I know you better than you know yourself after only reading a brief description of yourself and never having met you in person.

    We have had a long journey to the point we are at today, where we can accept and be okay with the fact that we are DID. That journey has included self-cutting, thoughts of suicide, hospitalization, medication, and more than one therapist telling me (Leyna) to my face that I am not real and that I need to be "gotten rid of" for Doug to be able to be "normal". When we finally met a therapist who understands DID and acknowledges that we don't have to try to "merge" back into one whole person to be able to be a happy, healthy human being, we made more real progress in our first six months with that therapist than we did in the previous nine years with five different therapists who refused to believe that we had DID. I am not telling you all of this to make you feel sorry for me. I don't want or need your pity. I just want you to understand that I know for a fact that our DID is not a delusion, and there is nothing you can do to convince me otherwise, so don't even try.

    Sincerely,

    Leyna
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  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever View Post
    Hi Leyna and Doug, it is me Forever, I am sorry you feel split from yourself in many ways. I act a different way almost everyday irl and sometimes on here.. so maybe not so much of split personality.. but I ride an emotional rollercoaster everyday.

    to each every one of you.
    I just saw your second post asking why I skipped you. Sorry, I wasn't trying to offend you. It's just taking me a while to reply to everyone's posts.

    Thank you for your kind words! I've heard other people say as well that everyone acts differently at times and is similar in some ways to DID. There are some similarities, but DID is a LOT more complex than just acting differently in different situations. But it sounds like you understand the fact that it is not the same, so don't worry, I'm not mad at you. Like I said, I appreciate your kind words to me! Almost everyone in this group has been very kind, welcoming and accepting of me/us, which we really appreciate a lot!

    Leyna
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  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by dougvincent1138 View Post
    I just saw your second post asking why I skipped you. Sorry, I wasn't trying to offend you. It's just taking me a while to reply to everyone's posts.

    Thank you for your kind words! I've heard other people say as well that everyone acts differently at times and is similar in some ways to DID. There are some similarities, but DID is a LOT more complex than just acting differently in different situations. But it sounds like you understand the fact that it is not the same, so don't worry, I'm not mad at you. Like I said, I appreciate your kind words to me! Almost everyone in this group has been very kind, welcoming and accepting of me/us, which we really appreciate a lot!

    Leyna
    Thanks for making sure you got to me! Much appreciated!

    Would you Leyna say you're the dominant personality for real life as well or just in terms for this account/internet?
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