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  1. #1
    Junior Member etselec's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012

    Default Hello and ESTP/INFJ compatibility question

    Hello out there. I've been studying MBTI for several years now, and I find it has helped me to relate to many people that I never could understand before. I strongly identify as INFJ. I came to the forum today to look for some insight into the ESTP guy I'm seeing. In some ways we are like the proverbial moth and flame (although when I say that to him, he asks me, "Who's the moth here and who's the flame?", to which I respond, "That's an excellent question," and grin at him.) We are drawn to each other and things can be full of fire and excitement and certainly passionate, but in other ways it's like we don't speak the same language at all. Is this thing totally doomed? Has anyone out there experienced an ESTP/INFJ relationship? Thanks for any tips!

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009


    I haven't been in many romantic relationships with ESTPs, but I'm pretty positive one of my high school girlfriends was one.

    Basically, I've noticed that ESTP and INFJs get along surprisingly (or not surprisingly) well because both types seem to value treating others respectfully, although in different ways. I think ESTP's often believe "You get what you give" in terms of personal relationships. If you give a lot to them, they will give a lot to you. INFJ's tend to give a lot, so they get a lot in return from ESTP's, and this works out well. Most ESTPs I know are male, but I find we get along well as friends. ESTP's are definitely a lot of fun to be around; there's never a dull moment with them.

    As for whether your relationship with your ESTP would work out well, I would have to say that type has somewhat limited importance in this area. Yes, two people of more compatible personality types may very well be more likely to have a long-lasting, un-obstructed relationship. However, of equal if not greater importance are things like maturation, personal development, values, interests, goals etc.

    So, basically, an INFJ and an ESTP can last forever together if they are healthy, well-functioning individuals who are willing to work and compromise together.

    However, if it's something like this: - it might not fare quite as well

    Hope this helps! Best wishes...
    A hero is someone who does the right thing without expectation of reward, just because it's the right thing to do.

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