Video: INFJs, is this how you process emotions?

[highlander]

I thought this was a really interesting story about how INFJs process their own emotions. They are super gifted at understanding others but it takes them a while to understand how they feel about things themselves.

 

[Fidelia]

Sounds pretty spot on for me. Often even once I identify why I'm upset though it's not enough to categorize it, decide what to do and move on. Unless there's some conscious way to temper or address the emotion involved in a conscious way, it often comes back to bite me. I think a lot of my unprocessed emotions have been thought about and talked about but are still affecting me physically and emotionally In ways that initially confuse me till I figure out what's going on. I definitely identify though with not feeling attached to my feelings or being 100% sure why I'm upset and how to address it.

I also feel annoyed at having to use up so much physical and emotional energy on figuring it out. Initially it's easier to accommodate than to deal with other people's wild card reactions when I say what I want. Longterm though, I don't think it's that good for me to do that. Working on what to do about that now.

I find I need to initially observe my own self through writing about it and reading what I wrote or telling someone and using their reaction to help me even understand what merits the most weight in my feelings and what is transient, as well as getting to the heart of what's upsetting me. I can't seem to do it first hand at all.

 

[Jellyfish1234]

I'm still in the process of being typed by the lovely people here but I/they think I am INFJ and I relate to this so I just thought I'd respond. This is very much me. It's something I'm going through right now actually, for the past few months; I've felt as if something isn't quite right, and have been acting differently and having strange thoughts, but I'm not sure why. I don't know whether I'm depressed or nervous about moving house or whether it's because of other things in my life or what, and I'm waiting for that moment where I finally understand what's wrong.

I've experienced this before, too. Last year I felt something was wrong but I couldn't quite figure out what. Then one day I was sat in a cafe with my Mother and decided to talk to her about it to see if we could figure out why I was feeling odd and acting weirdly. Then midway through the conversation I suddenly thought, "I bet I'm upset because my friend has been really depressed recently and I'm taking in all his problems as well as my own and it's weighing me down without me realizing." Suddenly I felt really emotional and my eyes started watering and I kind of knew that that was what was wrong.

I've had other situations like that, too. So yeah, as a potential INFJ I certainly identify with this. I like to think I'm good at understanding others' emotions and thoughts but when it comes to myself I'm not that great. And if I'm not INFJ, then another type can go through this too I suppose haha.

 

[Norrsken]

The codependency thing spooked me because that is exactly what I go through with pretty much all of my personal relationships with everybody in my daily life. It definitely hurts me when somebody doesn't appreciate what I do for them and then I lose myself in thinking what I've done wrong that sometimes it really just isn't my fault and I need to let people be and let them pick their own choices. It definitely gets better the older I get, but I do sometimes think about it and then I feel a flash of pain inside my chest because I couldn't be somebody's savior, or something. I turn myself into a martyr and I even felt proud of such title at one point when I was younger, which is kind of pathetic now that I think about it.

Woman in the video is seriously me and I'm glad that there are others who are like me. Finding love for ourselves, I think, is a problem for many Fe-users. The Ni-Ti part in her video definitely describes me to a T, with the whole "I am going to envision that this and that is going to happen" and then when it turns out we are wrong, we completely fall apart, so to speak. This happens a lot when I make plans with somebody I care about and it just couldn't manifest the way I desire them to be, and I become incredibly upset. But then I try to look at it from their perspectives, though it has gotten me in situations where people take advantage of it and that just can't go on, you know? But yes, this woman sounds so much like me and the emotional processes that I go through in those situations. Even the way she talks and describe things is exactly the way I talk in real life. Great video and thank you, [MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION].

 

[Ene]

I think she is pretty much spot on. Sometimes, I don't really know what I'm feeling.