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Video: A Collection Of NF Consciousness: Romance, Soulmates, Intimacy, and Love

highlander

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  • Mike, an ENFP, interviews a panel representing the entire range of NF consciousness about romance, soulmates, intimacy, and love. The panel consists of Josh, an ENFJ, Angela, an ENFP, Nick, an INFJ, and Tyler, an INFP.
 

velveteen

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This reminds me of why I absolutely adore INFPs. I couldn't stand listening to the two ENFs though.

Also I think that their views and opinions should be seen as a product of their culture rather than their types. It's extremely american and not very universal at all.
 

PeaceBaby

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Watching this through the INFP lens whilst eating lunch.

I'm at the 11 minute point and I have yet to hear the INFP speak, and when he tries to speak, the others don't wait to let the thought complete itself. This seems to echo real life. I can feel he has stuff interiorly that he wants to share but is waiting for space to open up. He also doesn't have enough skill to take the floor and keep it, INFPs really have to learn to claim their moments. When I was this age, I'd be like Tyler waiting for a moment to get in there.

ENFP Mike is a ineffective interviewer however because he fails to make that space and expand the floor for the less extroverted speakers.

Now at the 17 minute mark, INFP has spoken for about 1 minute total.

20 minute mark, I'm getting really bored listening to this. All of this talk seems unimportant. Not much substance. lol there's the whole Fi it's-all-about-my-story element coming through with the ENFP, and I get where she's coming from, why it's illustrative, but it's not connected to the room.

22 minutes, Tyler is doing an INFP mediation/listening thing, drawing some concepts out of other people. Nick sure has that look of Ni dominance, processing whilst the conversation flows, coming out with something more "put together" when he does speak and I found it interesting how the E's both released the space to him a few times.

Anyways, back to work. The E's sure can dominate!
 

chickpea

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3 minutes in and i already hate josh.
 

Qlip

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3 minutes in and i already hate josh.

I'm going to listen, so I can represent as an NF. I've been waffling, I hate the NF Geeks period, especially Mike.
 

Qlip

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Hmmm, verdict... I got nothing much out of it, nor did I identify with anyone in particular, maybe because of the subject. It's not that the subject isn't potentially interesting, I think these specific discussions seem shallow or just maybe over covered in every medium we have. Needs more 4s, maybe if Tyler talked more.
 

highlander

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ENFP Mike is a ineffective interviewer however because he fails to make that space and expand the floor for the less extroverted speakers.

Now at the 17 minute mark, INFP has spoken for about 1 minute total.

Yeah, I wanted to hear the INFP talk more. I think Mike asked good questions but he did not do a good enough job of getting the INFP to talk. The other ones contributed reasonably well. One simple thing would have been to put the INFP on the left and have him talk first. The video gets better as it goes on I think and the INFJ and ENFP have a chance to elaborate more.
 

Southern Kross

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Also I think that their views and opinions should be seen as a product of their culture rather than their types. It's extremely american and not very universal at all.
I agree. My god, so American. The INFP exempt (and a handful of comments from the INFJ), the whole thing was like a brash performance and so affected it's cringe-worthy. I barely believed a word that came out of their mouths, nor did I find much meaning or insight out of their views. :shrug:

Other than the INFP, I just can't relate to them at all.



More on topic: it was interesting for me in terms of INFP behaviour. I skimmed through all your comments before watching and based on what others were saying was thinking I wasn't going to relate to him. I can be quite talkative and outspoken in those sorts of discussions, and I don't see myself as usually kind of person to get railroaded. I'm very socially avoidant, but I'm only timid and reticent in company when I'm not engaged enough (for one reason or another) - engagement always trumps my fear or discomfort.

However after watching the video, I thought if it were me I would be just as quiet as that INFP, because there just wasn't enough to engage my Ne; to spark my mind into gear and incite the desire to speak. Often I'm just busy listening, thinking things through, deciding if I agree or disagree or if what they're saying meshes with my experiences/observations, and generally waiting for Ne to really kick in, that sometimes I don't even realise how quiet I'm being. And because the thoughts in my head are just as loud and active as the conversation going on, I often forget others aren't hearing anything from my end. I think it may have been much the same with him. The discussion was so vague and lacking depth, it was only when specific and/or stimulating questions/points were raised, or there was something to vibe off that he spoke up. Even then, the things he expressed seemed to be more about showing empathy for and mirroring the others' tone, feelings and ideas, than expressing his own. It makes me think that I must come off like that a lot and that it would look like being railroaded or being shut off, when it's something else entirely. :thinking:

Nick sure has that look of Ni dominance, processing whilst the conversation flows, coming out with something more "put together" when he does speak and I found it interesting how the E's both released the space to him a few times.
Yes, I also observed that. He was by far the most orderly in how he spoke.
 

Forever_Jung

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Man, I've seen videos with Josh before, and I dislike him more every time I watch him. He thinks he's so priceless, but he just strikes me as obnoxious.

I thought it was interesting that the INFP asked questions, as a way of getting involved. He seemed more on-point than Mike, as an interviewer.

Nick made the most sense, even if I didn't necessarily like/agreed with what he said. Angela was an inoffensive speaker, but mostly blathered on about nothing. These people aren't very insightful or interesting.

They all talked so much and said so little.
 

PeaceBaby

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engagement always trumps my fear or discomfort.

Agreed. (But you and I are social-dominant - I wonder if other INFPs would feel the same?)

However after watching the video, I thought if it were me I would be just as quiet as that INFP, because there just wasn't enough to engage my Ne; to spark my mind into gear and incite the desire to speak.

That's a good point. I think he alternated between wanting to speak yet finding no insertion point and "zoning out" (even though he was still listening) when it was clear that 1.) the extroverts dominated the floor and 2.) the stuff being discussed was insubstantial.

Even then, the things he expressed seemed to be more about showing empathy for and mirroring the others' tone, feelings and ideas, than expressing his own. It makes me think that I must come off like that a lot and that it would look like being railroaded or being shut off, when it's something else entirely.

Hmm yes, it is a "something else" - it looks from on the outside (as you say) being railroaded and shut-off, and that's a pressing point for me because what shows on the outside is what most people are judging on. "The squeaky wheel always gets the grease" - certainly there are times when circumstances leverage better to our strengths, but that kind of situation can be problematic. If one was viewing the video without a lens to the inner space, you might think the guy was either stupid, ineffective or just had nothing original to say, or worse, was withholding to be contrary, almost mocking. By extension, it unfortunately shows how INFPs are sometimes not regarded as someone to take into account or make space for - like, there's no consequence to not making space for us. When the INFJ spoke, it wasn't that the extroverts were engaged by his words, they made space and relinquished the floor. The body language of each turned more submissive, less dominant. It was as though they didn't dare butt in lol! That did not happen when the INFP spoke, perhaps because he's "nice" and doesn't appear pissed when he's interrupted (not that the INFJ appeared that way either, but I sense history there). It would have required a much more concentrated burst of Ne in that situation to grab some time anyway and as you say, there wasn't much to ping off.

Anyway, just some thoughts. Learning how to create balance for ourselves as well as for others is an important skill. I can get so good at mediating I even forget what my opinion is and I really relish an opportunity to speak when the topic is interesting and I have something to say. I was a bit surprised the ENFP didn't try at least once to do that. Maybe the value is in seeing the dynamic play out like reality anyway.

eta: I guess how I think in these situations is that I'm listening to everyone else, giving them the courtesy of my attention, and then politely waiting reciprocally for my turn to speak. This assumes that the others talking understand that they are the recipient of that energy and have a self-awareness that everyone "should" be heard, has an opinion, even if it's only to express they don't have much of an opinion on the topic atm. So, when the people you're talking with don't recognize that, or are too self-absorbed to "get" that, it can be disappointing. When in a group, I try to pay attention to everyone, and some people assume this is because they must be rivettingly interesting, but no, it's because I value hearing everyone speak and can focus even if very bored. This can occasionally lead to misunderstandings too.

eta2: I seem to have a lot to say about this!
 

Z Buck McFate

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I'm on board with those who have said they don't relate much to what is being said. It seemed to be more about the subculture they are part of than their 'type'. (Granted I'm hard of hearing and couldn't make out much of what either INFx contributed- some voices sound too garbled to me, regardless of volume- but based on what I did hear. Also, I only watched half of it.)

I do think it would be interesting to watch a video of these different types with older people though. with a slightly less homogeneous group.
 

Southern Kross

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Agreed. (But you and I are social-dominant - I wonder if other INFPs would feel the same?)
I wonder that too.

That's a good point. I think he alternated between wanting to speak yet finding no insertion point and "zoning out" (even though he was still listening) when it was clear that 1.) the extroverts dominated the floor and 2.) the stuff being discussed was insubstantial.
You said this better than I did - yes, the need for a "insertion point" is very much what I was getting at.

By extension, it unfortunately shows how INFPs are sometimes not regarded as someone to take into account or make space for - like, there's no consequence to not making space for us. When the INFJ spoke, it wasn't that the extroverts were engaged by his words, they made space and relinquished the floor. The body language of each turned more submissive, less dominant. It was as though they didn't dare butt in lol! That did not happen when the INFP spoke, perhaps because he's "nice" and doesn't appear pissed when he's interrupted (not that the INFJ appeared that way either, but I sense history there). It would have required a much more concentrated burst of Ne in that situation to grab some time anyway and as you say, there wasn't much to ping off.
I think they gave the INFJ space because he gave the impression that he has something to particular to communicate; a specific thought that had to be completed all the way through to have meaning. Whereas the INFP was more "vibey" in what he talked about. Like I said, he seemed to be mirroring what others and take that as a vague leaping off point, which is something others are more prone to interrupt - in a way he kinda invited people to interrupt him. It seemed like he was more driven by relational building than saying something particular he felt/thought. This is very surprising seeing as most people think of these traits as being reversed in INFJs and INFPs. Also interesting was that the ENFxs were far more self-absorbed than the INFxs, when the stereotype is generally the opposite.

Also it was interesting that the only 2 that asked questions of the others were the INFxs. And I liked that the INFJ made an effort to include the INFP - he was the only one that did so.

I can get so good at mediating I even forget what my opinion is and I really relish an opportunity to speak when the topic is interesting and I have something to say. I was a bit surprised the ENFP didn't try at least once to do that. Maybe the value is in seeing the dynamic play out like reality anyway.
I would have thought the ENFJ would have facilitated more too...

eta: I guess how I think in these situations is that I'm listening to everyone else, giving them the courtesy of my attention, and then politely waiting reciprocally for my turn to speak. This assumes that the others talking understand that they are the recipient of that energy and have a self-awareness that everyone "should" be heard, has an opinion, even if it's only to express they don't have much of an opinion on the topic atm. So, when the people you're talking with don't recognize that, or are too self-absorbed to "get" that, it can be disappointing. When in a group, I try to pay attention to everyone, and some people assume this is because they must be rivettingly interesting, but no, it's because I value hearing everyone speak and can focus even if very bored. This can occasionally lead to misunderstandings too.
I also get annoyed when people don't give others a chance to speak, especially if they're the quiet and courteous type, and will try to give them an opening if I can - but I'm not as much of a mediator in this way as you are. I only be that attentive if the social imbalance is uncomfortably apparent or if I'm bored by the topic/situation. Being bored sometimes drives me to ask questions and dig through a subject until I salvage something engaging, useful or meaningful out of it; with the secondary benefit of doing other people the courtesy of showing respect and interest in them. I'm probably less polite about waiting long periods for my turn; if I want to say something I'll say it.

Also if there's one way I vary from that INFP guy is that I would be making more flippant and sarcastic remarks. However, he may have been thinking them to himself, judging by the occasional grin on his face. ;)

eta2: I seem to have a lot to say about this!
Yeah, me too! The meta dynamics turned out to be far more interesting that the actual content of conversation. :D
 
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