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[ISFP] The downside of ISFP

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
ISFP
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9w1
All taken from this ISFP profile: ISFP - Introverted Feeling with Sensing
  • Unfortunately, in their desire not to influence, they often forgo expressing themselves and their wishes in favor of blending in with others.
  • It is important for them to find practical ways to express their ideals; otherwise they will keep dreaming of the impossible and accomplish very little. If they find no actions to express their ideals, they can become too sensitive and vulnerable, with dwindling confidence in life and in themselves.
  • The problem for some ISFPs is that they may feel such a contrast between their inner ideals and their actual accomplishments that they burden themselves with a sense of inadequacy. This can be true even when they are being as effective as others. They take for granted anything they do well and are the most modest of all the types, tending to underrate and understate themselves.
  • This nonimposing nature and seeming lack of direction is so much a part of ISFPs that they can easily be either overlooked or overpowered by others. In a sense, they are the most invisible of the sixteen types.
  • This type, often creative, artsy, and skilled in a variety of practical disciplines where people and nature are served, tends to be shy about offering his or her services--depriving the world of their contributions as a result. All too often, more aggressive, demanding and less capable types fill the void.
  • Both female and male ISFPs often sell themselves short. As a result, most any compliment an ISFP received can be dismissed as "not really meant" or "just an accident."

Have any of you other ISFPs experienced these sort of things? or have you recognised them in ISFPs if you're another type?
 

animenagai

New member
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Aug 22, 2008
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NeFi
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4w3
i think so. one of my best friends is an ISFP and i would say he's very dreamy for a supposedly realistic S. he's very INFP-like in his fantasies (though they all relate to real life applications), but he'll always end that talk by saying stuff like 'if only' or just a sigh. he also fantasizes about who he loves and love itself, but since he's been single for some time now after breaking up with a long time GF, he always says that he's 'dead inside'.
 

Hirsch63

New member
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Dec 4, 2007
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524
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IS??
Yes, I have experienced all of this..if I understand things that I am told by those who know me this all rings true. How about you?
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
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Yes, I have experienced all of this..if I understand things that I am told by those who know me this all rings true. How about you?

Oh yeah, at my worst all of those things probably apply, luckily those feelings are usually short lived, however since leaving university they are becoming more common.
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
Yes I've seen this in myself.

This from Lenore Thompson wiki. I've recognised in myself also.

Going too far in the introverted direction
Fi: being so concerned with maintaining the purity of your soul--e.g. your unconditional benevolence for every living thing--that you fail to do for yourself. Your own negotiating position becomes weak because you have nothing to offer but appeal to mercy. You and everyone around you is in desperate need, not because of "the system" but because you let yourself get into that position. Your social position is at the bottom, and people avoid you because they smell "loser". When weakness becomes a point of pride, not something to heal, then your values are no longer in sync with life.

The wiki is down so I linked to googles cache.

A lot of that stuff seems similar to enneagram 9 descriptions. I've found the advice for 9's useful also.
 

wolfy

awsm
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Messages
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It is important for them to find practical ways to express their ideals; otherwise they will keep dreaming of the impossible and accomplish very little.

This is the key. The same as 9's. To become active, move forward.
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
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Ever since I was introduced to those "cognitive processes", I have felt like the downside (and maybe the upside too) is the constant battle between "Fi" and "Se." It seems like, of all the functions, these can be the most at odds with each other, and since we have them as 1 and 2, it makes sense we might be the most conflicted and misunderstood people.

It explains things like why many people have said to me "you don't sound like yourself today." And I'm like "after not sounding like myself for long enough, isn't what I sound like myself?" :D
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
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9w1
Going too far in the introverted direction
Fi: being so concerned with maintaining the purity of your soul--e.g. your unconditional benevolence for every living thing--that you fail to do for yourself. Your own negotiating position becomes weak because you have nothing to offer but appeal to mercy. You and everyone around you is in desperate need, not because of "the system" but because you let yourself get into that position. Your social position is at the bottom, and people avoid you because they smell "loser". When weakness becomes a point of pride, not something to heal, then your values are no longer in sync with life.

This hits a spot I often don't like to think about but probably rings true. My standards for myself are ridiculously higher than those I accept from other people.

This is the key. The same as 9's. To become active, move forward.

Which is why my being in a rut and having little time for myself outside of menial work is bringing these feelings out I think.

Ever since I was introduced to those "cognitive processes", I have felt like the downside (and maybe the upside too) is the constant battle between "Fi" and "Se." It seems like, of all the functions, these can be the most at odds with each other, and since we have them as 1 and 2, it makes sense we might be the most conflicted and misunderstood people.

I've recognised these conflicts and contradictions within myself for a while now, mbti helps explain it a bit.
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
Ever since I was introduced to those "cognitive processes", I have felt like the downside (and maybe the upside too) is the constant battle between "Fi" and "Se." It seems like, of all the functions, these can be the most at odds with each other, and since we have them as 1 and 2, it makes sense we might be the most conflicted and misunderstood people.

It explains things like why many people have said to me "you don't sound like yourself today." And I'm like "after not sounding like myself for long enough, isn't what I sound like myself?" :D

Can you explain a little more how they can be at odds please. :nerd:
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
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sx
From here


Introverted feeling strives for an inner intensity that is unrelated to any external object. It devalues objective reality and is rarely displayed openly. When it does appear on the surface, it generally seems negative or indifferent. The focus of such feeling is upon inner processes and latent, primordial images. At its extreme, it may develop into mystical ecstasy.

The introverted feeling type is brooding and inaccessible, although may also hide behind a childish mask. Such a person aims to be inconspicuous, makes little attempt to impress and generally fails to respond to the feelings of others. The outer, surface appearance is often neutral, cold and dismissive. Inwardly, however, feelings are deep, passionately intense, and may accompany secret religious or poetic tendencies. The effect of all this on other people can be stifling and oppressive.

vs.

Extraverted sensation strives for intensity of experience derived from concrete objects and physical activities. Consciousness is therefore directed outward to those objects and activities that may be expected to arouse the strongest sensations.

The extraverted sensation type is a realist who seeks to experience as many concrete sensations as possible - preferably, but not necessarily, ones that are pleasurable. These experiences are seen as ends in themselves and are rarely utilized for any other purpose.If normal, such persons are sensualists or aesthetes who are attracted by the physical characteristics of objects and people. They dress, eat and entertain well, and can be very good company. Not at all reflective nor introspective, they have no ideals except sensory enjoyment. They generally mistrust inner psychological processes and prefer to account for such things in terms of external events (e.g., they may blame their moods on the weather). If extreme, they are often crudely sensual and may exploit situations or others in order to increase their own personal pleasure.

I've highlighted the parts that seem especially contradictory to me. But I sum it up as basically "I must do what is right" vs. "If it feels good, do it." It's like constantly shooting at a target, where sometimes a forcefield stops the shot, and sometimes it gets through.
 

wolfy

awsm
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I see what you mean.

My thinking is that introverted feeling acts as a governor on extraverted sensation, preventing you from going too far with it. Maybe even preventing you from getting the most out of yourself.
You run into problems when you go too far in the introverted direction. Which is the more natural thing to do as our dominant function is introverted.

ISFP Personal Growth

I agree with this page that the key to unlocking the potential of an ISFP is in developing extraverted sensation.

What do you guys think?
 

Quinlan

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Reading those descriptions it's not surprising that we can have deep bonds to the external world (nature).

What do you guys think?

This is what I need now, never seem to have enough time for it though;

Simply the act of "creating" will be a fulfilling source of renewal and refreshment to the ISFP. An ISFP should allow himself or herself some artistic outlet, because it will add enrichment and positive energy to their life.
 

sarah

soft and silky
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Sep 3, 2008
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548
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isfp
Have any of you other ISFPs experienced these sort of things? or have you recognised them in ISFPs if you're another type?

My answers are in red ('cause red's my favorite color)...

Unfortunately, in their desire not to influence, they often forgo expressing themselves and their wishes in favor of blending in with others. Sometimes, yeah, but usually if I'm in a situation where I don't care all that much about making an impact in. I really have this desire to get noticed even if I don't do or say much at all.

It is important for them to find practical ways to express their ideals; otherwise they will keep dreaming of the impossible and accomplish very little. If they find no actions to express their ideals, they can become too sensitive and vulnerable, with dwindling confidence in life and in themselves.
*sigh* Yes.. I wish it weren't so true!

The problem for some ISFPs is that they may feel such a contrast between their inner ideals and their actual accomplishments that they burden themselves with a sense of inadequacy. This can be true even when they are being as effective as others. They take for granted anything they do well and are the most modest of all the types, tending to underrate and understate themselves.
SO true. I'm constantly comparing my accomplishments with others', and devaluing my own talents if someone else's accomplishments get more attention from others. I wish I could just Make Myself Stop Doing This. I also take myself for granted way too much. If I find something easy to do, I think everybody in the world must equally find it just as easy.

This nonimposing nature and seeming lack of direction is so much a part of ISFPs that they can easily be either overlooked or overpowered by others. In a sense, they are the most invisible of the sixteen types. I don't think I'm invisible, but I've had a problem for as long as I can remember with other people ripping off my ideas and getting attention and credit for them because they're better at promoting my ideas than I am. I hate that!

This type, often creative, artsy, and skilled in a variety of practical disciplines where people and nature are served, tends to be shy about offering his or her services--depriving the world of their contributions as a result. All too often, more aggressive, demanding and less capable types fill the void.

Yeah, oddly enough, despite being known as the "artsy" person in most social situations, I don't jump right in and say, "Ooo, people, look what I'm gonna do for you!!!" I tend to wait until I'm asked for help, which means sometimes someone else will immediately offer up lame designs and ideas and everybody goes along with that, while I sit there wishing I were "asked" for my contribution. I even have publically supported other people's lame artistic ideas because I didn't want to hurt their feelings by saying I could do better than that. :(


Both female and male ISFPs often sell themselves short. As a result, most any compliment an ISFP received can be dismissed as "not really meant" or "just an accident." [/QUOTE] *sigh* I'm really training myself to just simply say "thank you, that's very kind of you to tell me" when I get a compliment, because I hate it when I give someone a genuine compliment and they blow it off, or belittle my taste by laughing at whatever I've just said I admired about them.


Sarah
ISFP
 

sarah

soft and silky
Joined
Sep 3, 2008
Messages
548
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isfp
Ever since I was introduced to those "cognitive processes", I have felt like the downside (and maybe the upside too) is the constant battle between "Fi" and "Se." It seems like, of all the functions, these can be the most at odds with each other, and since we have them as 1 and 2, it makes sense we might be the most conflicted and misunderstood people.


I see what you mean -- on the one hand we've got this drive to experience the world without pre-judging in order to experience the most out of life, and yet we can't seem to do anything without filtering it through our set of values. So sometimes I feel the need to check out of the world temporarily in order to sort out and prioritize my values FIRST before jumping into a new experience. (That's one reason I wondered for so long about whether I was an SP or not -- many descriptions seem to cater to the dominant Se types.)

Sarah
ISFP
 

Quinlan

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If I find something easy to do, I think everybody in the world must equally find it just as easy.

This is something I have often thought but don't see others express very often, its a real pain in the bum when it comes to trying to "sell" myself in job interviews.

I agree and relate to all of your points, love your honesty.

Try this book Quinlan. The war of art.

Cheers Wolfy, will do.
 

sarah

soft and silky
Joined
Sep 3, 2008
Messages
548
MBTI Type
isfp
I see what you mean.

My thinking is that introverted feeling acts as a governor on extraverted sensation, preventing you from going too far with it. Maybe even preventing you from getting the most out of yourself.
You run into problems when you go too far in the introverted direction. Which is the more natural thing to do as our dominant function is introverted.

ISFP Personal Growth

I agree with this page that the key to unlocking the potential of an ISFP is in developing extraverted sensation.

What do you guys think?

Yeah. I think the personalitypage people are right on. When I was a kid, I spent far too much time thinking about what I cared about and not enough time actually doing many of the things I said I cared about.

I'd also like to throw in a bit of Ni in the mix too, because I think it helps me actually create more opportunities for action if I have a sense of what I'd like to be doing in the near future -- as opposed to just choosing from whatever mediocre options might be available today.

Sarah
ISFP
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
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sx
(That's one reason I wondered for so long about whether I was an SP or not -- many descriptions seem to cater to the dominant Se types.)

I think that's because, as you said over here in the greatest topic ever, "Auxilliary Se is pretty visible in ISFPs because it's our preferred function for expressing ourselves in the world. We like to have an immediate impact on others just as much as the extraverts do.." So, the observable Se traits tend to be the ones focused on to differentiate SPs from other temperaments, so if we aren't showing much of those at any given time, people can confuse us for other types, like INFPs, because we have that same depth of feeling and we don't happen to be all INYOFACE at that particular time we're being observed.

At least that's my take on it, because, you know, I've become like a frickin expert in the last 4 months or so. ;)
 

wolfy

awsm
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Yeah. I think the personalitypage people are right on. When I was a kid, I spent far too much time thinking about what I cared about and not enough time actually doing many of the things I said I cared about.

I'd also like to throw in a bit of Ni in the mix too, because I think it helps me actually create more opportunities for action if I have a sense of what I'd like to be doing in the near future -- as opposed to just choosing from whatever mediocre options might be available today.

Sarah
ISFP

Yeah I can see how I rely on Ni also. Good point.
 
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