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[ISFP] The downside of ISFP

sarah

soft and silky
Joined
Sep 3, 2008
Messages
548
MBTI Type
isfp
This is something I have often thought but don't see others express very often, its a real pain in the bum when it comes to trying to "sell" myself in job interviews.


Ha! Tell me about it! I had to force myself to learn how to speak up for my talents so I could do well in job interviews. Giving myself compliments tends to make me squirm inside. I sooooo prefer it coming from other people, and even then I tend to wonder if they really mean what they're saying -- part of me is terrified that maybe they only complimented me in order to be nice.

So here's a related question for you all:

Since it's often necessary in this world to project confidence in order to get what you want, how do you go about raising your own self-confidence level? Any favorite habits/words/phrases come to mind?


Sarah
ISFP
 

sarah

soft and silky
Joined
Sep 3, 2008
Messages
548
MBTI Type
isfp
I think that's because, as you said over here in the greatest topic ever, "Auxilliary Se is pretty visible in ISFPs because it's our preferred function for expressing ourselves in the world. We like to have an immediate impact on others just as much as the extraverts do.." So, the observable Se traits tend to be the ones focused on to differentiate SPs from other temperaments, so if we aren't showing much of those at any given time, people can confuse us for other types, like INFPs, because we have that same depth of feeling and we don't happen to be all INYOFACE at that particular time we're being observed.


Yep! Expressing Fi looks like an expression of the Idealist temperament to all those Myers Briggs and Keirsey fans who haven't figured out that half of the NFs don't even prefer Fi anyway, and wouldn't be good at it if required to use it instead of the Fe they prefer. :rolli:

Sarah
ISFP
 

Hirsch63

New member
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Dec 4, 2007
Messages
524
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IS??
Oh yeah, at my worst all of those things probably apply, luckily those feelings are usually short lived, however since leaving university they are becoming more common.

Perhaps it is that need for purpose...not neccesarily "structure" but working for something beyond self focus that leads us to sense these negative aspects of our type preferences. I wonder too if our proximity to the other preferences (for example, I am just this side of IStj or ISfj) can intensify feelings in myself (in a negative situation) that you may not percieve as intensely, even though we share preferences generally.

Being at university may have given you a fulfilling group of daily goals that kept you purposeful for others i.e. I've got to get this done and well for my prof, team, etc? Now it's just you? And the world seems to be a bit of a frustration for me as an ISfp. It seems like that is pretty typical for us generally.

If I understand the posts that I have read correctly, what you are experiencing is perfectly in line with our preferences, and we have been there too with you (and may go there again)...so, you're normal! And I assume it is early days yet for you (in your 20's?) so with the help of this data and this forum you will be able to sidestep some pitfalls that might otherwise reinforce these negative perceptions. And that is just plain good.
 

Hirsch63

New member
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Dec 4, 2007
Messages
524
MBTI Type
IS??
Yes, I've seen all of them in ISFP friend.

Also fellow ISFPs, I cannot state strongly enough how much of a help our Heart has been in guiding me along the path to MBTI understanding. Perhaps it is her ISFP friendship that gives her particular insight...Hearts kindness and patience have allowed me to find enrichment in a number of areas I may not have discovered otherwise. She is certainly one of the primary reasons I return to this forum...so blame her. :D
 

Neuro

New member
Joined
Jul 19, 2008
Messages
13
MBTI Type
INFP
let me just first say I love ISFPs. Definitely one of the types I admire the most.
My younger brother is an ISFP and I aways get the sense that he doesnt think enough of himself or his abilities. Its hard to get him to take a compliment seriously. He is great at many things and his sense of humour pwns mine and my INTP brothers but he is always saying that he is dumb and doesnt have a lot to offer. I wish you guys had just a bit more ego to understand how cool you are. In this cutthroat world we need people like you. You make others feel comfortable and accepted. In short ISFPs rock.
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
Joined
Jun 7, 2008
Messages
6,743
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ESFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx
let me just first say I love ISFPs. Definitely one of the types I admire the most.
My younger brother is an ISFP and I aways get the sense that he doesnt think enough of himself or his abilities. Its hard to get him to take a compliment seriously. He is great at many things and his sense of humour pwns mine and my INTP brothers but he is always saying that he is dumb and doesnt have a lot to offer. I wish you guys had just a bit more ego to understand how cool you are. In this cutthroat world we need people like you. You make others feel comfortable and accepted. In short ISFPs rock.

You're so right. I have not been trumpeting my own awesomeness nearly enough lately. :D
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
So here's a related question for you all:

Since it's often necessary in this world to project confidence in order to get what you want, how do you go about raising your own self-confidence level? Any favorite habits/words/phrases come to mind?


Sarah
ISFP

I often use visualization. Practice and visualization.
 

sarah

soft and silky
Joined
Sep 3, 2008
Messages
548
MBTI Type
isfp
I often use visualization. Practice and visualization.


Yeah, those help me too, especially visualizing myself doing something I want to do succesfully, so I have that mental picture cemented in my mind. I also have given "meaning" to certain objects at work and at home that I use as symbolic reminders that I don't have to live up to my worst fears, and that I've successfully done what I've wanted to do before. For some reason, I'm rarely encouraged by my past successes -- I have a tendency to tell myself that failures point to flaws in my character but that successes must be constantly proven again and again in order for them to count. (I'm guessing this is what Beebe means by the "bad parent" function, and for ISFPs that would be introverted Sensing.)

Sarah
ISFP
 

wolfy

awsm
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Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
I have a tendency to tell myself that failures point to flaws in my character but that successes must be constantly proven again and again in order for them to count.

Sarah
ISFP
I've been thinking about this and your previous question.
I've found thinking about it this way helps:

I learn. If you invest your ego that way nobody can take that away not even you. Even if you screw up you learn. So think I am a learner.

Keep fluid. Do things because you like to. Objective standards in performance have there place. But always think I do this because I like to. Nobody can say what you do and don't like. Only you can.

I am responsible. Responsibility looks forward blame looks back. So taking responsibility means to me keeping my eye on the objective and being fluid in approach. The balls in my end of the court so to speak.

In MBTI jargon.
Invest in values you control. Fi. Subjective values.
Be fluid in your approach to the world. Se.

Hope that makes sense.
 

sarah

soft and silky
Joined
Sep 3, 2008
Messages
548
MBTI Type
isfp
I've been thinking about this and your previous question.
I've found thinking about it this way helps:

I learn. If you invest your ego that way nobody can take that away not even you. Even if you screw up you learn. So think I am a learner.

Keep fluid. Do things because you like to. Objective standards in performance have there place. But always think I do this because I like to. Nobody can say what you do and don't like. Only you can.

I am responsible. Responsibility looks forward blame looks back. So taking responsibility means to me keeping my eye on the objective and being fluid in approach. The balls in my end of the court so to speak.

In MBTI jargon.
Invest in values you control. Fi. Subjective values.
Be fluid in your approach to the world. Se.

Hope that makes sense.


It certainly does! Thanks for sharing.. Whenever I feel tempted to compare myself with others (which is constantly), it helps to tell myself that there really are no impossible, set-in-stone standards that have to be met in order for ME to feel happy about my own work -- unless I choose to sabotage my own happiness by making up those impossible standards.

Sarah
ISFP
 

Lexlike

New member
Joined
Jul 8, 2008
Messages
149
MBTI Type
InTP
Enneagram
4w5
Reading the downisdes of ISFP, i recognized some of my downsides... afterwards i ve read more information about and I also seemed to have many things in common with the ISFP type even though i consider myself still a NT.
I must add that I m acutally a strong Introvert and Perciever but my intuition and thinking judgment is really balanced, so no wonder. So are many ISFPs are also Ennegram 4 type... what do you think?
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
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So are many ISFPs are also Ennegram 4 type... what do you think?

I don't know, but so far I haven't seen anything that makes me "Ennegram" isn't just bunk.
 

sarah

soft and silky
Joined
Sep 3, 2008
Messages
548
MBTI Type
isfp
Reading the downisdes of ISFP, i recognized some of my downsides... afterwards i ve read more information about and I also seemed to have many things in common with the ISFP type even though i consider myself still a NT.
I must add that I m acutally a strong Introvert and Perciever but my intuition and thinking judgment is really balanced, so no wonder. So are many ISFPs are also Ennegram 4 type... what do you think?


This is timely.. I was just reading about enneagram types yesterday, and came to the conclusion that type 4 fits most of my lifelong issues -- coveting other people for what I think they have and I lack, or trying to spice up my life by creating high-impact emotional states instead of just living with my real feelings and trying to be considerate of others' as well. I have no doubt this is the reason why a couple of my love relationships when I was in my 20s failed, and that this is what one guy meant when he said that I was self-absorbed (the other was too "nice" at the time to say what was wrong, but I figured it out years later). I missed out on taking advantage of opportunities I could have enjoyed because I kept feeling I was lacking something necessary in order to be able to take advantage of them, or feeling I was wasn't predestined to have those experiences and enjoy them. Whever I did get what I wanted, I was haunted with the fear that maybe I just got lucky and that I didn't deserve that success.

At any rate, awareness is good, and it's helped me realize how happiness is a choice, and that I can choose to either nurture it or sabotage it.

One quote that's stuck with me for a while now and which really helps to center me is: "It's a sign of maturity when you begin to fall out of love with your own drama."

Sarah
ISFP
 

anainani

New member
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
65
MBTI Type
isfp
Thanks a lot, everyone. I like this thread. I've had to deal with most of the negative things mentioned here.
I'll try to contribute something sometime later.
Oh, and about Enneagram...It was helpful for me. Main thing I got from it was what wolfy's signature says ;) I was confused about my type there too. Both 4 and 9 seem to fit ok, but I think I'm a 9.
 

JRT

New member
Joined
Dec 5, 2008
Messages
168
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
9
Wow that sums up my weaknesses right there. I always tend to sell myself short when I do something well. I think I tend to be overlooked aswell especially now with my new job I work remotely for a Large IT company so when I go to the office for training or something a lot of my co workers go up and chat with my project specialists and managers but I don't. I tend to do my own thing. I love being an ISFP but there are some things I could work on! :)

As far as Enneagram types I am a type 9

Oh and has anyone heard of Breathe Me By Sia? You should watch it I think it has strong Fi traits YouTube - Sia - Breathe Me
 

anainani

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Oct 20, 2008
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isfp
JRT, ahhh, I love that song! I hadn't heard it before.
 

King sns

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haha...Awesome. Definitely can relate.


I hate how the buckcherry and shania twain songs are playing over and over in my head. It is a constant battle of who can be louder and play more often . Its total conflict all the time.
 
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