[ISFP] ISFP and hiding emotions

[NYmac86]

I know this is a certain skill given the nature of some ISFP's. One girl I believe to be an ISFP and do this so well has somewhat of a rough background which is even more mystifying how I assume she feels very intense about certain matters but has a detached air that is almost unsettling to me. From a fellow ISF but VERY J, how exactly do you guys/girls do it? Can you put it into words?

It's comical at the cost of spontaneity in gaining solid grounding that ISFJ's at least in my opinion are the exact opposite in this sense and are the first to instinctively have a sour face.

 

[Quinlan]

I will not express my emotions for fear of getting an emotional reaction from others, my own feelings are easy to process and are turned inwards (Fi duh) but emotional outbursts from others are extremely unsettling so I generally avoid expressing things that might generate an emotional response.

Directing emotions inward is easy.

 

[Dali]

Many a time something happens and people around me are all aflutter about it when I... simply don't see where the problem/issue is or, if there is one and there is a solution, I concentrate on the solution rather than stewing upon it.

In addition, what may come across as me hiding my emotions may simply be my being my easygoing cant-be-bothered self.

I wouldn't know whether this is a general type thing but I'm fatalistic about a lot of things.

 

[Sunshine]

Emotions? I don't have any. I accidentally lost them.

Oh wait look! I think I found one!............................^

 

[sarah]

I will not express my emotions for fear of getting an emotional reaction from others, my own feelings are easy to process and are turned inwards (Fi duh) but emotional outbursts from others are extremely unsettling so I generally avoid expressing things that might generate an emotional response.

Directing emotions inward is easy.

I'm pretty emotionally transparent. However, if the environment I'm in feels hostile, and if I have reason to think people seeing my emotional state would just use that to manipulate or hurt me, then I clam up. Like Quinlan says, it's easy to turn one's emotions inward. For me, this means I "check out" of the situation. I just refuse to get involved in anything more than I can help. Either I sit there and think all by myself, or I put my emotions on hold in order to get through the situation as soon as possible, so I can be alone again to contemplate how I feel.

Sarah
ISFP

 

[wolfy]

I don't hide my emotions I just don't feel the need to share them. Big shows of emotion are to be honest, pretty scary.

 

[Hirsch63]

I'll often keep my emotions in check as a means of managing social interaction i.e. if I add my (volatile) ingredients to the mix, what will the reaction be? Probably not worthwhile. I'll try to save or use my emotions for situations that matter. Most people seem to be intuitive enough to not press me for a response that would border on or be purely emotional like anger. When I am emotional at least in a negative sense (which is not often) it is because someone has accidentally(?) hit a nerve and I cannot marshall my restraint fast enough to be refective about the outcome of my reaction.

Avoidance is another sort of instinctive method of keeping my emotional state even. If I simply avoid situations that are likely to upset my life, I have managed to remove a stressful stimulus that would have simply drained valuable resources better spent elsewhere. Of course there is a real drawback in this, in terms of missed personal growth from working out confrontations. I would often rather study how others resolve conflict and see if it is a method that I would find sensible to adopt.

I believe that I am fairly free with what would be described as positive emotions. When these "positive" emotions are not returned in kind, I can take it as a sort of affront and then take a mental note not to spend my energy in that direction again.

Perhaps part of what drives our personality preferences is the percieved need (gained through nature/nurture?) to avoid conflict, retaining control of (our)volatile reactions?

 

[SaltyWench]

I hide my emotions when I know that expressing them will cause something negative. It's unhealthy, really... but I do. Except in situations where I couldn't care less about the ramifications... then I just state my point of view as a fact and get it over with.

 

[beyondaurora]

I hide my emotions when I feel that a situation is futile. If there is absolutely no way that I can get my point across to someone, when they're just too set in their ways, I'll get quiet and stop trying to communicate. But (and this is a big BUT!), there sometimes comes a point where I no longer can withhold my emotions, and I just explode! So imagine months of living with a roommate who quietly smiles and nods at you when you complain about everything and then the day she moves out she absolutely unleashes on you about what a !@#$%* you are! :redface:

Edit: Just wanted to add also that I hide my emotions a lot at work. For example, I absolutely adore my boss, but I've certainly never told him that, and if I ever did, I'd probably bake him a sugar-free cake (he's diabetic) and leave it on his desk so he finds it when I'm not present. Then when he did thank me, I'd downplay it and say something like, "yeah, I'm practicing my baking skills for the holidays". I am extremely professional, always separating my work persona from my private one.

 

[Thursday]

I don't hide my emotions I just don't feel the need to share them. Big shows of emotion are to be honest, pretty scary.

either that or tacky - maybe insincere

 

[Jeffster]

I don't try to hide my emotions. What would be the point in that?

There are times when I temper my emotions for practical reasons, like not yelling at my boss when he says or does something stupid, but I don't think I ever try to hide them, that just seems like a useless source of stress.

 

[wolfy]

Originally Posted by wolfy
I don't hide my emotions I just don't feel the need to share them. Big shows of emotion are to be honest, pretty scary.

either that or tacky - maybe insincere

Sometimes tacky sometimes insincere. Depends on the person. The reason I don't is because I feel it's self indulgent. Unless it's a strong relationship you are opening yourself up too much.

 

[heart]

Sometimes tacky sometimes insincere. Depends on the person. The reason I don't is because I feel it's self indulgent. Unless it's a strong relationship you are opening yourself up too much.

I am not ISFP but I agree. It's unseemly and invasive to the people around you. Unless it's some disaster ( a real one ) and one is simply overcome and then people should allow that person the diginity of privacy.

Once I saw on the news where a man was standing outside his home which had been burned to the ground and he realized his mother-in-law had been trapped inside and he started shouting "Oh my God! Oh MY God!" and fell to his knees crying. The news played that clip over and over and over and over. It seemed very exploitive to that man. I got into a rather heated debtate with co-workers over that. One said "But I need that rush from seeing other people's emotions. I like when the news shows us stuff like that." I said, read fiction and leave people to their own privacy.

 

[wolfy]

Once I saw on the news where a man was standing outside his home which had been burned to the ground and he realized his mother-in-law had been trapped inside and he started shouting "Oh my God! Oh MY God!" and fell to his knees crying. The news played that clip over and over and over and over. It seemed very exploitive to that man. I got into a rather heated debtate with co-workers over that. One said "But I need that rush from seeing other people's emotions. I like when the news shows us stuff like that." I said, read fiction and leave people to their own privacy.

It's disgusting how news tv exploits emotions like this. Using peoples fear to hook them in. :steam:

 

[chris1207]

Yeah, it's definitely wrong to exploit situations like that. That being said I'm the exact opposite in many respects from the people who've posted here. I love stirring up emotions and riding them like waves. It's exciting and it helps keep me from being overly bored. I sometimes say the most asinine things to get a rise out of my INTJ friends. Emotional manipulation is a convenient way to maintain control of the world around me.

 

[heart]

^ It's also a good way to get people to try and avoid you at all costs.

 

[Skyline]

I tend to hold back my emotions. If I share them, it's usually only with people that are very close to me that I feel comfortable with. I'm also not good at expressing myself without trying to think over what words I want to use. These days I try to pay attention to become more assertive about saying what's going on inside of me without feeling embaressed about it or thinking it's not important. Usually I don't quickly feel the need for it on a day to day basis (I'd rather share personal thoughts etc.), but sometimes situations require to share some stuff ..

I also agree with some people here saying when other people get into huge personal emotional displays, it can bother. For me, it usually bothers me if it's the wrong moment and place. Makes it kinda uncomfortable. Usually I'm just not fond of judgemental, monumental or slacking displays of personal feelings or thoughts in general. Why the serious drama?... Guess I'm moved by it easily

 

[Sunshine]

I tend to hold back my emotions. If I share them, it's usually only with people that are very close to me that I feel comfortable with. I'm also not good at expressing myself without trying to think over what words I want to use. These days I try to pay attention to become more assertive about saying what's going on inside of me without feeling embaressed about it or thinking it's not important. Usually I don't quickly feel the need for it on a day to day basis (I'd rather share personal thoughts etc.), but sometimes situations require to share some stuff ..

I also agree with some people here saying when other people get into huge personal emotional displays, it can bother. For me, it usually bothers me if it's the wrong moment and place. Makes it kinda uncomfortable. Usually I'm just not fond of judgemental, monumental or slacking displays of personal feelings or thoughts in general. Why the serious drama?... Guess I'm moved by it easily

I identify with everything you said. Word for word.

 

[Frankie-NOTRUST-]

To me, i just don't want to start something because people will usually over react and i prefer things stay chill .

plus its tacky, jerry springer status.

 

[King sns]

This is one trait I have that is isfp ish. When I am feeling very strongly about something, (and that emotion is bad), all systems shut down and I turn into a blank, no-personality rock. Its an automatic reaction and I don't know why it happens. If I try to express my feelings I don't know where to start, so I just remain silent. Then people have to have a guessing game with me. And its one thing I hate about myself.

Its bad for communication!!