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[ISFP] Your experiences with ISFP women?

Lia_kat

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Romantic relationships, friendships, co-workers, etc.

The positive? Negative? Is there anything in particular that you remember?

Share anything you like.

:)
 

SearchingforPeace

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married to one. complicated. intense. passionate. difficult. confusing. amazing. exhausting. not for the faint of heart or anyone looking for an easy relationship.
 

Tilt

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Adventurous, whirlwind of emotion, artsy, colorful word usage in written and verbal expression, in the moment, caring. At least with my friend.
 
Last edited:

Lia_kat

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I find it interesting that the first two posts are by ENFJs... Hmm... :coffee:
 

Mal12345

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My ISFP wife has turned out to be more practical than me, and more street savvy. She's moody but she thinks I'm the moody one so that makes us even. Her family is everything to her, and she can't stand losing a loved one. I believe she takes it as personal failure, and also misses the companionship - abandonment issues. She's sensuous and would love to party if she could. She's a rather aggressive driver. She doesn't match the Keirsey "Artisan" stereotype at all, but she loves nature and animals (except cats). She does like to play with words. She has no interest in any of my intellectual pursuits, but once in a great while she will ask me a question about certain abstract subjects accompanied by a wide-eyed expression of wonderment. But normally she is simply skeptical about or indifferent to intellectual things. She is dismissive of typology altogether.

My ISFP wife is more of a free-range kind of parent. And although her oldest daughter requires various psychotropic drugs in order to maintain, I know that my wife considers them to be an evil necessity. She would rather keep the wildcat on a loose leash than tame it altogether. Or to put it another way, a little chaos and occasional heartache is preferable to her than putting an end to what makes her daughter a person by drugging her into non-existence (such as with Seroquel). But when I Google "ISFP free spirit" all I find is crap about artists being free spirits. My wife is not an artist, she is a free spirit who wants to experience existence, listen to wind chimes, get excited over a little thunder and lightning, eat tasty food, preferably not in a crowd, but not alone either. Preferably with those she loves.
 

SearchingforPeace

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My ISFP wife has turned out to be more practical than me, and more street savvy. She's moody but she thinks I'm the moody one so that makes us even. Her family is everything to her, and she can't stand losing a loved one. I believe she takes it as personal failure, and also misses the companionship - abandonment issues. She's sensuous and would love to party if she could. She's a rather aggressive driver. She doesn't match the Keirsey "Artisan" stereotype at all, but she loves nature and animals (except cats). She does like to play with words. She has no interest in any of my intellectual pursuits, but once in a great while she will ask me a question about certain abstract subjects accompanied by a wide-eyed expression of wonderment. But normally she is simply skeptical about or indifferent to intellectual things. She is dismissive of typology altogether.

My ISFP wife is more of a free-range kind of parent. And although her oldest daughter requires various psychotropic drugs in order to maintain, I know that my wife considers them to be an evil necessity. She would rather keep the wildcat on a loose leash than tame it altogether. Or to put it another way, a little chaos and occasional heartache is preferable to her than putting an end to what makes her daughter a person by drugging her into non-existence (such as with Seroquel). But when I Google "ISFP free spirit" all I find is crap about artists being free spirits. My wife is not an artist, she is a free spirit who wants to experience existence, listen to wind chimes, get excited over a little thunder and lightning, eat tasty food, preferably not in a crowd, but not alone either. Preferably with those she loves.

That all sounds very similar to my ISFP wife.....
 

Lia_kat

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Hmm... I keep reading that ISFPs have no interest in intellectual pursuits... I relate to everything else about the type except that. I very much enjoy philosophical, deep intellectual discussions, reading about different subjects, etc.
 

Lia_kat

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she is a free spirit who wants to experience existence, listen to wind chimes, get excited over a little thunder and lightning, eat tasty food, preferably not in a crowd, but not alone either. Preferably with those she loves.

Love that! :D
 

Mal12345

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Mal12345

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Interesting. Does that change my typing at all?

It's whichever one you identify most strongly with. You could be an intellectual sensualist, or a sensual intellectualist. Perhaps you like to play with words as well as with ideas. But in the long run it's your choice to identify with just one or to make it IXFP which is a real type in some circles.
 

cascadeco

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Hmm... I keep reading that ISFPs have no interest in intellectual pursuits... I relate to everything else about the type except that. I very much enjoy philosophical, deep intellectual discussions, reading about different subjects, etc.

I agree some of it might have to do with not being an extreme S, and being more in the middle on the dichotomy.

I also have this idea though that some of it is tied to values -- ie valuing intellectual pursuits / finding that important.

Also too I think it could be tied to ones upbringing / circle of friends (which...ties to values).

Many of my friends are pretty intellectual, very smart, open people. I think partly tied to this, and partly tied to the fact that I was good at school and pursued a technical/science degree (though not doing that anymore /moved away from it), for a long while when I was younger I would have identified strongly with being 'intellectual'. I read a lot of philosophy, some various other non-fiction books, at the time. Too, I thought NOT being intellectual was lesser. So there was a ton of self judgment going on. It's only now that I realize I really don't care or prefer for any of that. Now that I'm open to my preferences and I don't have the self judging going on, I can definitively say I'm not really into delving into all of it. I actually related a lot to how Mal described his wife. As 'simple' as it is, I really do get excited about the 'little' things in life - good food, beautiful ambience (him even mentioning windchimes made me smile), the other things he mentioned.

Like I said, I DO have friends who very much do this, and I DO find our convos interesting, but comparatively speaking, I'm nowhere near how they are, and whereas I might in passing enjoy those conversations, I don't immerse myself in it in my free time or as my career like they do. (Not saying this holds true for you, btw :))
 

Lia_kat

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It's whichever one you identify most strongly with. You could be an intellectual sensualist, or a sensual intellectualist. Perhaps you like to play with words as well as with ideas. But in the long run it's your choice to identify with just one or to make it IXFP which is a real type in some circles.

Thank you for the insight! That's so interesting, I didn't even know that was a possibility.

I agree some of it might have to do with not being an extreme S, and being more in the middle on the dichotomy.

I also have this idea though that some of it is tied to values -- ie valuing intellectual pursuits / finding that important.

Also too I think it could be tied to ones upbringing / circle of friends (which...ties to values).

Many of my friends are pretty intellectual, very smart, open people. I think partly tied to this, and partly tied to the fact that I was good at school and pursued a technical/science degree (though not doing that anymore /moved away from it), for a long while when I was younger I would have identified strongly with being 'intellectual'. I read a lot of philosophy, some various other non-fiction books, at the time. Too, I thought NOT being intellectual was lesser. So there was a ton of self judgment going on. It's only now that I realize I really don't care or prefer for any of that. Now that I'm open to my preferences and I don't have the self judging going on, I can definitively say I'm not really into delving into all of it. I actually related a lot to how Mal described his wife. As 'simple' as it is, I really do get excited about the 'little' things in life - good food, beautiful ambience (him even mentioning windchimes made me smile), the other things he mentioned.

Like I said, I DO have friends who very much do this, and I DO find our convos interesting, but comparatively speaking, I'm nowhere near how they are, and whereas I might in passing enjoy those conversations, I don't immerse myself in it in my free time or as my career like they do. (Not saying this holds true for you, btw :))

You always have such wonderful, well-written posts! Thank you.:)

My parents raised me to put education as top priority but it was easy because I was already highly gifted as a child, reading full paragraphs and books at age four and being #1 in all of my classes. I was born wth a love of learning so even in middle school I would read encyclopedias just to feed that thirst for knowledge. As I got older, it's was not as intense but I still kept that immense curiosity and desire to learn about different subjects and have intellectual discussions. I don't necessarily seek them out though... It's more like if I have that connection with someone that's great, if not no big deal because I can also keep myself entertained with my own research and questions (reason why I became a part of this forum lol). And honestly I get much more excited and happy about the little things too, like you and Mal said... the windchime comment made me smile too!! :wubbie:
But I'm not sure how much it's just me vs. being both N & S vs. my upbringing... Or maybe it's a combination of all of them...
And now that I think about it, being in the middle is probably why I had a hard time deciding between INFP and ISFP.
 

OrangeAppled

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I get along pretty well with them, as a rule. I would say I have very natural friendships with xxFP women. ISFPs in general don't seem to jump to negative conclusions or get hung up on propriety, which creates a pleasant atmosphere for me.

When I first got into MBTI, I realized how many Fi-doms I knew and excitedly assumed they were INFP, but then I realized they were mostly ISFP. But it shows how I more readily relate to them & how there can be more mutual sympathy compared to most people. So I would say they remind me of myself, with some key differences that can be hard to put my finger on without going into cliches of cerebral/abstract vs more present-oriented.

If I have any frustrations, they may mirror my own flaws, such as being too indecisive. There is some short-sightedness that can annoy me too. Sometimes they seem "slow" to me, but I am NOT talking about their intelligence. Like, they have a more relaxed pace that can exasperate me because I am more restless to move forward and probably more high-strung for it. ISFPs seem to think I need to chill out a bit, and I am annoyed at how long they seem to take to respond or to facilitate positive change (which I see looming and up for grabs if you just get out of your comfort zone). To me, they seem to look to the next immediate step and not far beyond. I can see how that makes you a more chill person though :D .
 

great_bay

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ISFP's have all of my function in reverse order. I always thought they were mysterious people who I can never understand. I meet some ISFP's that were like Marilyn Monroe that were outgoing and sexy like and ones that were completely introverted like ISFP Harry Potter that were quiet. I don't really like the Marilyn Monroe types too much all myself/:dry:
 

ayoitsStepho

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I get along pretty well with them, as a rule. I would say I have very natural friendships with xxFP women. ISFPs in general don't seem to jump to negative conclusions or get hung up on propriety, which creates a pleasant atmosphere for me.

When I first got into MBTI, I realized how many Fi-doms I knew and excitedly assumed they were INFP, but then I realized they were mostly ISFP. But it shows how I more readily relate to them & how there can be more mutual sympathy compared to most people. So I would say they remind me of myself, with some key differences that can be hard to put my finger on without going into cliches of cerebral/abstract vs more present-oriented.

If I have any frustrations, they may mirror my own flaws, such as being too indecisive. There is some short-sightedness that can annoy me too. Sometimes they seem "slow" to me, but I am NOT talking about their intelligence. Like, they have a more relaxed pace that can exasperate me because I am more restless to move forward and probably more high-strung for it. ISFPs seem to think I need to chill out a bit, and I am annoyed at how long they seem to take to respond or to facilitate positive change (which I see looming and up for grabs if you just get out of your comfort zone). To me, they seem to look to the next immediate step and not far beyond. I can see how that makes you a more chill person though :D .

My family gets so mad at me because I move slower and it takes me more time to make decisions and come to conclusions. The reality is that whenever I have to move faster than what is natural for me, it stresses me out. I've learned to work through the stress but I still cannot stand it. I can only handle so much information at one time with a calm mind. The future stresses me out so I HAVE to take it one step at a time.
There are things that I don't think I should have to move quickly through as well. For example, my family sucks their food down and within 15 minutes their on to the next thing. I like to sit and enjoy my food. If there are people around me then I like talking and just being comfortable. I've been known to sit at a dinner table for 45 minutes or more when everyone else is already finished.

I view my brain like a conveyor belt. It moves at a certain pace and everything works together to create a product. It can move faster but things are probably going to get jammed up or the machine will get over heated. When I move quickly, I tend to make more mistakes and I don't have a proper handle of my stress. I WISH I could be faster and more forward thinking :cry:
 
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