[ESTP] ENFP + ESTP seeming like a great match!!!

[Alonahood]

Hi,
I (think) I'm an ENFP but am not 100% sure yet. However for the sake of clarity I am calling myself ENFP as I think I am most suited for the characteristics it includes.
Anyway I am dating an ESTP 8w7 and a very intense one at that!
It's going amazing so far, we have a very intense connection on quite a deep level and an extremely strong initial attraction too. His explanation for him approaching me was that he "felt a vibe off me that he's never felt before" which is why he continued to pursue me. We get along like bread and butter, and we're both quite emotionally private however it's as if neither of us ever need to express it through words because it's just something we both feel. We both love going out and doing things together, which always seems to involve alcohol:hi: we just love to have fun! He loves the fact that I have a bit of an attitude towards him and my fierce independence and self assurance. Anyway what I'm trying to get at is that I've dated 2 ENTP's previously and this is my first ESTP and it's by far the most vibrant, colourful and deep relationship I've ever had. We make each other feel alive, awake.
I've done loads of research into the ENFP/ESTP (romantic) convo and have only really found a very negative attitude to this.
Apparently ESTP's are too "blunt" and " direct" for the over-sensitive ENFP's however this is not the case for me and my ESTP, sometimes I even find that I am too direct and open about my thoughts with him haha. That's not to say he hasn't upset me every now and again but I get over things quickly.

Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone has had experience and/or observed an ENFP/ESTP relationship, whether it be good or bad. I want to hear your stories!!

By the way as mentioned before, I have been typed as ENFP 7w8 however I'm not 100% sure as I relate very strongly to ENTP also, maybe this could be the reason for my getting along so well with my ESTP??

Any insight/opinions/further questions are welcome and appreciated!!

 

[sne.ed]

ENFPs are intriguing and I find I learn a lot from them. I usually go to them to see if I am being too much of an asshole to someone...they have the F I lack. Unfortunately, it's that F that would never work for me in a relationship...I have tried but the combo just doesn't work for me as an ESTP.


But I am a firm believer that you can make most relationships work if you are willing to put in the time and effort...

Good luck!


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[dee_mc]

YESS, I've only read negative things on the match but
I'm an ENFP seeing an ESTP, and when I found out his type, I kind of felt off about it because the types don't generally see eye to eye. I feel like the general consensus is that ENFPs and ESTPs aren't really a good match. And after observing my relationship with my ESTP, I've learned that 1) any types can find common ground and 2) we are more alike than we are different. So my observations (both contradicting and matching type tendencies)

1. ESTPs aren't likely to talk about emotions, and normally, he isn't really. But the reason we became close in the first place was because he confided in me about his deepest fears about life, even though we'd only just met. Which seems kind of atypical of an ESTP. I think though that being an ENFP, with similar fears, being empathetic and understanding, he felt he could trust me. We don't talk about stuff at that depth much, but he says I'm one of the few people he can trust with that kind of information
2. We're both very go with the flow and independent which works amazingly well. He is a musician and is such a hard worker and puts in the time to succeed. Similarly, I am a freelance videographer and put a lot of time into my career too. Neither of us are particularly needy, and are understanding when the other is putting time into their work. We are able to support each other because of the shared passion for something artistic, but also he motivates me because of his work ethic - which ENFPs can be a little more scattered with.
3. For an ESTP, he seems more in tune with his emotions than most. His Instagram posts for example are always kind of cheesy captions about how much he loves the person in the picture with him (and even make ME cringe). Sometimes I wonder if he's really an ESTP because he can be very romantic, and I am actually more reserved with pet names and baring my emotions. That isn't because I don't feel strongly for him, but maybe moreso because he doesn't really get it when I bare my emotions. So I do so sparingly. That said, for an ENFP, I am actually getting more in touch with my logical side. When a difficult situation arises, I am pretty quick to want to cry and talk about it, but also learning to think more rationally right after. More recently I try to think "what is the most practical and productive use of my time to overcome this".
4. We don't have deep conversations in the way that I have with INFJs (who I always feel like are my soulmates!), but if we do it's less about ideas and more about histories. So we won't discuss the meaning of life, but rather about how he lost his mom and what she was like.
5. For an ENFP, I am learning how to be more in the moment and less in my head so much. He is great at getting me out of my head and teaching me to just take life as it comes, and not dwell on the things that cause me anxiety. For an ESTP, he is respectful of abstractions. They don't hold his interest for too long, but he doesn't necessarily look down on them. Interestingly enough, for instance, he is religious, and I am not - which from what I've read, is atypical for each of our types.

After reading this it doesn't really sound like I'm an ENFP or he an ESTP haha. But that's because I was moreso focusing on the ways that contradict what's typical of each type or the pairing of the types.

In the end
We share an excitement for novelty and adventure, appreciation for music, ambitious and love to travel, optimistic outlooks on life, a belief that things happen for a reason, silly sense of humour, spontaneous and unpredictable

We differ in that I am idea-focused, and he is action-focused, that I am sensitive and he is matter-of-factly, that I am future-oriented, and he is more in the moment. I kind of think a lot of these differences can be learning opportunities more than detrimental however. And outside of personality, we share a lot more in terms of personal interests and upbringing and dreams that keep us together. In the end, I guess I'm trying to say that any two types can learn to love each other, and that compatibility is only part of the battle of a relationship