[ESTP] Being too much of a catalyst.

[Ribonuke]

So it's recently come to my attention I have this bad habit of catalyzing conflicts.

For example: My s.o. is sometimes afraid of telling me things that might irritate me about his friends, because he's afraid I might end up addressing those friends the next time I end up seeing them. Why? Probably because I usually think if he's TELLING me about something that irritates him, he wants something done about it, but is in too much of a tenuous social position to be the one to do anything about it. I usually ask him first if I should intervene, but sometimes I end up misreading the situation and end up creating conflict that usually turns out later to have been 'completely avoidable'. (Childish Fe-fueled histrionics...bleh.)

Any other ESTPs here suffer from this problem?

 

[Santosha]

Oh I'm sure they do.
I've known more than a few estp's, and seeing the most obvious, seemingly direct response to a said problem, is the way estp will go almost every time.

However, I will ask you this question.. and please think about it for a moment before answering off the cuff. Why is it that, you think anyone else should change who they are or what they are about/want to do, because of your SO's problem with it? DO they need to change how they are operating naturally, or does your SO need to perhaps change the way he is perceiving it?