[ESFP] ESFP with extremely strict parents?

[shanix]

I am an 17 years old female ESFP, 7w6. I have really strict parents!!!(that restricts my use of Se). They do not allow me to go clubbing, house parties, stay out later than 12 am or anything related. But those are things I reaaaaaaaaaaaaally want to do. Therefore, I am behaving like an an MBTI without the use of Se functions.

Also, as they are really strict, I got sent to an (academically) good school where nobody parties or clubs, so I can't find friends that share the same interests as me. I only have a bunch of superficial friends who chats about homework, everyday life etc

Things I really want to be doing but not allowed are : partying, clubbing, drugs, sex etc. But due to parental restrictions and lack of like-minded friends, I can't do any of those. I feel restrained and sometimes depressed, even feeling like I'm wasting away by youth not doing those fun activities. My parents only supports activities that are 'harmless' in nature, like shopping, sports, food, movies etc, and I have done all those 'harmless' activities 100092341843 times, I feel really bored.

Also, my infp friend is skeptical of me being an esfp as she said all the esfp people she knows of (mainly celebrities) are hardcore partiers and have a lot of sex, vastly different from what I portray, so I'm kinda suspicious if the site typed me wrongly too.

TLDR, An ESFP girl who loves and wants to party and go to clubs/music festivals but are restricted by strict parents

 

[Yama]

Your parents don't sound strict at all to me. They're just being regular parents. You are 17, which means you are legally a minor (and thus still a "child"). I'm baffled as to why you're surprised that they won't let you go clubbing and go to large house parties and have sex and do drugs when you're not an adult yet. That's really just... that's not strict, that's practical and looking out for your best interests.

Why would you feel like you're wasting your life away because you can't do those things yet? You've got less than a year until you're legal age and can then do whatever you want. You're so young. You haven't even lived a quarter of your life yet. Believe me, you're not wasting anything.

Your INFP friend also has a super skewed and stereotypical view of ESFPs.

Since I'm assuming you're looking for "advice" or something (nothing was actually stated other than your story), I guess my advice to you would just be to chill for a bit. You don't have much longer before you're free to do all those things to your heart's content, and it really is in your best interest to listen to your parents. They aren't being any "stricter" than a regular parent. Actually, they don't sound strict at all. It's not strict that your parents don't want you, a minor, to have sex and do drugs. That's just logical and honestly, I'd be worried if they didn't care about these things.

 

[INTJ123]

You would most likely send yourself into a downward spiral of drugs, sex, partying, and ultimately ending up as a low life stripper. My old esfp male friend had more liberal parents and he's now a warehouse worker with no high school diploma..... constantly whining about how much he hated his life, it got so bad I had to say goodbye, he became toxic.

You can still have plenty of great sex in your 20's, after you secure yourself a decent life.

 

[Ribonuke]

I wouldn't say your parents are particularly strict in comparison to most, but depriving an xSxP of their Se can make them feel incomplete and therefore not function as well.

I myself was pretty much denied the party life in high school; yet I also denied it of myself for the above posters' reasons. I had remembered reading from a young age that the Prefrontal Cortex of the brain, which is essential for decision-making, is not fully developed until around the age of 18 and older. For this reason, I decided I'd wait a while before learning to drive/party/drugs/etc. That came to me around college.

Try to hang in there! You'll thank yourself later.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

Why not engage Se in other ways.... singing or music or sports or art or cooking, etc? Se isn't just about sex, drugs, parties, and such.....

 

[Yama]

I had remembered reading from a young age that the Prefrontal Cortex of the brain, which is essential for decision-making, is not fully developed until around the age of 18 and older.

It's actually around 25; even more reason to wait before making risky decisions

 

[Captain_Invincible]

Dude, I myself am coming an adult this year, and I alone can think of several reasons why your parents aren't allowing you to do those things aged 17 on a regular basis under their roof:

• They don't want you to come home impregnated with a child, as a child.
• They don't want to send you to hospital to get your stomach pumped from irresponsible drinking.
• They don't want you to become laid on at house parties.
• They don't want you to become deaf from too much loud music.
• Etc.

Hey, I myself am only realising now how much of a waste of time most of these activities are, if they occur on a regular basis. How much money they waste also. Yes, parties are fine once in a while, as is drinking and the occasional screw. If you're really bored of the sensible things, and doing those activities they suggest, why don't you try something out of the box like Zorbing? I've heard that's fun as hell, and replenishes Se levels. How about clay pigeon shooting? You still get to shoot things, only in a safe environment without harming anyone.

You need to find other outlets for your Se, as the posters above have pointed out, or you'll regret it. You don't need to conform to all the bullshit you see on TV, or be pressured into doing a lot of the bullshit most people your age do. You need to find something fun which makes you happy, even if it's something as simple as reading a book, going for a long, relaxing walk, or just catching up with friends at the park. After all, the best things in life are free.

Yes, I get crazy impulses at times. Yes, I want to do things which satisfy me at the expense of others, but I have learned how to control my Se, and use it to my advantage to get things done (even if it takes a little force sometimes). You too need to control your Sensations/ Impulses and not let them control you. I know it's hard at first, but once you grab life by the lapels and make her your bitch, things become a lot easier to control.

Good luck in finding the right outlets for your crazy Se

 

[ceecee]

I am an 17 years old female ESFP, 7w6. I have really strict parents!!!(that restricts my use of Se). They do not allow me to go clubbing, house parties, stay out later than 12 am or anything related. But those are things I reaaaaaaaaaaaaally want to do. Therefore, I am behaving like an an MBTI without the use of Se functions.

Also, as they are really strict, I got sent to an (academically) good school where nobody parties or clubs, so I can't find friends that share the same interests as me. I only have a bunch of superficial friends who chats about homework, everyday life etc

Things I really want to be doing but not allowed are : partying, clubbing, drugs, sex etc. But due to parental restrictions and lack of like-minded friends, I can't do any of those. I feel restrained and sometimes depressed, even feeling like I'm wasting away by youth not doing those fun activities. My parents only supports activities that are 'harmless' in nature, like shopping, sports, food, movies etc, and I have done all those 'harmless' activities 100092341843 times, I feel really bored.

Also, my infp friend is skeptical of me being an esfp as she said all the esfp people she knows of (mainly celebrities) are hardcore partiers and have a lot of sex, vastly different from what I portray, so I'm kinda suspicious if the site typed me wrongly too.

TLDR, An ESFP girl who loves and wants to party and go to clubs/music festivals but are restricted by strict parents

This must be terrible for you. Poor baby.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

Unfortunately, when we are 17, we rarely have the wisdom to realize our parents want to protect us in their own way.

Se is not doing shit or destructive things, or treating your body like garbage !

Se must allow to develop creativity from the inside to the outside.

I think the image of drugs and sex is much more attractive to you, mainly if you are still a virgin and have had no experience at all.

Innocence makes you dream without much awareness.

In every excess of pleasure, there is a big danger waiting for you baby !

 

[Cygnus]

How many dupes is DJA gonna make before he finally runs out of proxies?

 

[SearchingforPeace]

I had emotionally neglectful parents. I could do whatever I wanted. They didn't care. They were uninvolved in my life. I had nothing to rebel against, which is an important aspect of becoming an adult. You really should feel lucky they care as much as they do.....

 

[geedoenfj]

Why do you think they don't allow you to do these things? Because they CARE! They could let you mind your own business as you're becoming an adult and just get in a dark dark way of life and lose your future, you wanna have drugs and sex and drink? That's not what life is about! Let me tell you something to give you a proof..
Don't listen to those who waste their time doing these things.. Tell them that you think it is ridiculous, meanwhile you set a goal for your life and go after it you can party and have fun occasionally at a reasonable limits, and wait 10 years from now to see wether those who still think drugs and sex etc. are a good ideas are succeeding life or failing and you decide yourself, just try to imagine your life doing what you think your parents are being ridiculously strict about like ten years from now and you'll see it's going nowhere.. Anytime you think of that, you just have to put that dark picture in your mind..
You think those celebrities set a good example of how a human being should live?! Then you're so wrong.. They eventually pull them selves together and get to the right path.. Or else they lose all what they gain, at the end of the day..
I love to have fun and hang out with people and go to parties, but I know my limits and never lose control over myself..
Believe me I'm a mother myself and hitting my thirties and I know how your parents feel, even if they emotionally neglectful like my parents THEY CARE, and if you happen to become a parent yourself in the future, you'd know how it is like to be a parent, you people will never be able to reward them for what they do to you EVER..

 

[Hawthorne]

Your parents are very low quality.

Did you keep the original manual? If you paid for the extended warranty, you've got until 21 to swap them out at no cost to you. Iirc, the standard warranty only covers you until 16.

Only other thing you can do is write a letter to corporate but the most you'll get are a few fair-weather friend coupons.

Sorry OP, hope it gets better for you.

 

[TSDesigner]

You're not worried about STD's?

STD FACTS & STATISTICS:

* 1 in 2 sexually active young people will get an STD by the age of 25
* Less than half of adults 18-44 have been tested for an STD other than AIDS.
* HPV is one of the most common: 14 million infected per year
* Herpes simplex 2: 776,000 infected per year (genital herpes)
* Hepatitis B is one of the least common, but can destroy your liver and cause other health problems
* As many as 1 in 5 Americans have genital herpes
* Up to 90% of those with herpes are unaware they have it.
* Untreated STD can cause infertility in women
* Only 54% of college students use condoms during vaginal intercourse, 29% anal, 4% oral
* 60% of women would still have sex even if partner refused to wear a condom.
* Half of new infections occur in people 15-24 yrs old
* Condoms lower risk of STD's, but is not 100% protection:
lowers herpes risk by 30%
HPV risk by 50-70%, but doesn't protect women at all
chlamydia 50%
gonorrhea 50%
syphilis 50%
* 16% of Americans between 14-49 are infected with genital herpes
* 48% of all black women between 14-49 are infected with genital herpes
* 39% of blacks are infected with genital herpes
* 12% of whites are infected with genital herpes
* 19 million new herpes infections every year. No cure for it.
* 70% of people have herpes, but only 1/3 of them have breakouts
* herpes simplex 2 is the one that causes genital warts
* Chlamydia infection rates per 100,000 population
Asians: 112.9
Whites: 179.6
Hispanics: 380.3
Blacks: 1229.4
Similar ratios of infection for all other STD's, i.e. Asians least, Blacks most
* Spanking and alienation from parents increase likelihood of risky sexual behavior
* 56% of men & women admit to having cheated
* 18% of married people cheated at least once
* 31% of ALL women say they wouldn't tell a future partner if they had a sexual disease. This rises to 65% for single women. These statistics are self reported, so the real statistic is probably higher.

HPV

* Human papilloma virus (HPV) is a very common STD, at 14.1 million new infections per year. In most people it will cause no symptoms. In some people it will cause warts or lesions, which may turn into cancer. HPV causes cancers of the throat, anus and penis as well as causing genital warts
* male condom use may reduce the risk for genital human papillomavirus (HPV) infection but provides a lesser degree of protection compared with other sexual transmitted diseases because HPV also may be transmitted by exposure to areas (e.g., infected skin or mucosal surfaces) that are not covered or protected by the condom.