[ISFP] Dealing with ISFP's

[greenfairy]

I LOVE LOVE LOVE ISFPs. Even the ones I'm not sure about.

meee tooo

Although I don't have enough experience with them to be able to assess the situation. The responses so far seem to be on target. I admit, if this happened to me I would find it very confusing. I think I would ask feeling type questions and try to emphasize nonverbally that I was trustworthy and into them. In my limited experience I find they like to be listened to. And they seem to like to be hugged a lot, but that could go for many types, and you say you do that.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

I love/hate them. For reals.

Can be the sweetest people but also can be crazy as fuck.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

Like tonight, my wife is filling out paperwork for our son's school. So she asks where the closest hospital is. I take a moment to think about it. She gets impatient.
Her: "you're just sitting there spacing out. If you're not gonna help, then just go away!"
Me: "I was thinking about it. Sorry, it was taking a moment because I couldn't remember and I'm really tired."
Her: "Whatever, you were spacing out like you've been doing lately. You were being a space cadet and you've been one for the last couple of days."
Me: "Yeah, I'm really tired from working all day [been up since 5 AM] and I haven't had a lot of sleep lately but I do want to help. I'll go look up local hospitals on my computer."
Her: "Just forget it! I'll fucking take care of it. Go back to spacing out."
Me: "I really do wanna hel--"
Her: "FUCK! I said I'll deal with it! Just leave me alone! I don't want to fight with you!"
Me: "I'm just trying to help. You're fighting me! Just let me look them up so it's one less thing you have to do!"
Her: "I've said like FIVE times I'll get it. ARRRGHHHH!"

 

[Jeffster]

How do you know she's ISFP?

 

[wolfy]

How do you know she's ISFP?

Because she is crazy and all isfp are crazy. Sweet madness.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

Because she's tested ISFP and of all the types it seems to fit her best.

btw, I'm sorry if I offended any ISFP members.

In her defense, she has had a long and stressful week. When she gets stressed she starts to lose control of her "filter", as she likes to call it. I also can be an intolerable douche.

 

[Jeffster]

Actually, I was talking to Arendee. But thanks for the responses.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

Because she is crazy and all isfp are crazy. Sweet madness.

Troof.

 

[Standuble]

How come having a relationship with an ISFP is like reliving the notebook?

Can someone explain this to me?

Is it possible to meet an ISFP who doesn't flip out when things are getting interesting? My experience is telling me its impossible.

I have a question for you mate. Are you sure you're not the problem here? From what I have read you keep going for "type 4" girls and by the looks of this ISFP girls as well and it keeps falling apart. You criticise them for a pattern of bad experiences but if you assume enneagram and MBTI are bullshit (a reasonable conclusion) then the only constant (apart from them being women) is you. If an output keeps fucking up over and over you have to stop and check it isn't an internal fault as well.

I'm going to be honest with you here. If I were an ISFP woman I would not be pleased with having you as a partner. I may have been lured in by your bad boy demeanour or any charm techniques you pulled out but when the judgement clouding passions had eased the Fi's evaluations would come to the forefront. Now as they would be Se-aux it's probably a stretch for them to look over at you in bed as soon as they wake up and ask "do I want to spend the next twenty years with this guy" but it's not for them to ask a) is this guy as attractive as I thought he was? b) do I love him/still love him? c) Is he the sort of person I want in my life? Of course if the answer is no to either of the above questions then the relationship's cohesiveness would come apart like a house of cards on a wobbly table.

I suggest you give up on feelers or at least Fi feelers. You should try an istp chick or something. The example on the front page suggests that the mentioned movie had become entangled to the self and its experiences. There is a logic behind it but it's like a huge web. If you can't follow the nuances and conceive of what the model may be like in your mind then you are unlikely to satisfy them.

 

[Azure Flame]

Like tonight, my wife is filling out paperwork for our son's school. So she asks where the closest hospital is. I take a moment to think about it. She gets impatient.
Her: "you're just sitting there spacing out. If you're not gonna help, then just go away!"
Me: "I was thinking about it. Sorry, it was taking a moment because I couldn't remember and I'm really tired."
Her: "Whatever, you were spacing out like you've been doing lately. You were being a space cadet and you've been one for the last couple of days."
Me: "Yeah, I'm really tired from working all day [been up since 5 AM] and I haven't had a lot of sleep lately but I do want to help. I'll go look up local hospitals on my computer."
Her: "Just forget it! I'll fucking take care of it. Go back to spacing out."
Me: "I really do wanna hel--"
Her: "FUCK! I said I'll deal with it! Just leave me alone! I don't want to fight with you!"
Me: "I'm just trying to help. You're fighting me! Just let me look them up so it's one less thing you have to do!"
Her: "I've said like FIVE times I'll get it. ARRRGHHHH!"

lmao. that sounds exactly like my experience. The thing is, I never really find it offensive, its just kinda funny to just sit there and watch where it goes.

 

[Mal12345]

9 months.

That was 9 months of hugging and anything more than that was flipout worthy. And telling her I liked her was against the rules. *shoots self*

lmao, looking back the whole thing was ridiculous. The reason I bring this up is because she just texted me last night to see how I was doing after 6 months of not talking to one another. Apparently her reason for fighting with me that one day was so... I wouldn't be her friend anymore.... because she cared about me and she hurts people or some shit.

I'm like... wait what?

Ignore the ISFP bullshit and research "introjection."

 

[skylights]

Like tonight, my wife is filling out paperwork for our son's school. So she asks where the closest hospital is. I take a moment to think about it. She gets impatient.
Her: "you're just sitting there spacing out. If you're not gonna help, then just go away!"
Me: "I was thinking about it. Sorry, it was taking a moment because I couldn't remember and I'm really tired."
Her: "Whatever, you were spacing out like you've been doing lately. You were being a space cadet and you've been one for the last couple of days."
Me: "Yeah, I'm really tired from working all day [been up since 5 AM] and I haven't had a lot of sleep lately but I do want to help. I'll go look up local hospitals on my computer."
Her: "Just forget it! I'll fucking take care of it. Go back to spacing out."
Me: "I really do wanna hel--"
Her: "FUCK! I said I'll deal with it! Just leave me alone! I don't want to fight with you!"
Me: "I'm just trying to help. You're fighting me! Just let me look them up so it's one less thing you have to do!"
Her: "I've said like FIVE times I'll get it. ARRRGHHHH!"

Haha, aw. My Te gets nasty when I'm tired, too.

 

[Mal12345]

Because she is crazy and all isfp are crazy. Sweet madness.

Typism alert!

 

[wolfy]

Typism alert!

 

[RK LK]

Ever seen the notebook?

Ok real life example. We go out to dinner at this bar together wearing leather jackets. her hands are all over me, we sit down under the neon lights looking out the window at the street drinking our beers together and toast to looking forward to a good year. We cuddle up some, it was the perfect night. I told her she's a lot of fun to spend time with and she returned the compliment and we just sat together in silence with her head on my shoulder for 30 minutes or so. We get back to her place, she invites me in, we sit on the couch together. She asks me if I ever saw this one movie. I said, "I've never seen that one before." She freezes and gives me this death glare and says, "do you even want to?" I look up at her confused and say, "I'd love to." Then she just walks over to the sink and sits there brooding. Then she comes back over and sits down on the couch and starts telling me about how she lost her parents and 4/5's of her family is dead and this and that and then suddenly she's giving me this lecture on how I should tell my family I love them and the whole time I'm just like "wtf is going on?" and then she gets in a pissy mood and goes to her room and tells me to sleep on the couch.

lol. Night ruined. And this happened like 4 times in a row until I eventually gave up.

I've experienced this with 1 other ISFP as well. I also read that ESI's tend to do this in socionics because "they are unsure of their feelings" and push people away when they get too close.

So my question is, how am I supposed to deal with this behavior?

Your lack of empathy is outstanding . Truly incredible. I'm not sure if this is even serious or not. It's completely strange most people have glossed over this most obvious point. Look, she was interested in you, but then she realized that you had no empathy, and then lost interest. It was that simple. If what this girl said is true, about her family dying and everything, then she probably has some deep emotional issues and is looking for someone sensitive enough to share this kind of personal information. What exactly was going through your head when she told you this stuff? Did you feel any sympathy or sadness for her? Did you imagine what it would be like to have nearly all your family die? Did you think she was lying or exaggerating? Did you just not care at all? What exactly were you thinking?

Honestly bro, you could have easily got here to calm down if you would of just asked her about her family, instead of just being like 'wtf why you so emotional hur-dur". Yeah sometimes ISFPs can get emotional for no reason, but it seems pretty obvious why she was acting the way she did. She was just looking for someone to comfort her. Is that to hard to understand?

Sorry for the rant. Just letting off some steam.

 

[cina]

so what happened with you and her? are you guys still talking?