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[ISTP] ISTPs--Shy, Socially Anxious, Reserved?

mcmartinez84

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2007
Messages
650
MBTI Type
ISTP
Shy, Socially Anxious, or Reserved?

Sometimes all three! But usually just reserved. I try not to be though, cause then people sometimes think you're implicitly aggreeing with them, or else read into silence in all sorts of other strange ways.

Agreed! With all of it! Other people reading into shit I do or don't do pisses me off, so sometimes I lay down the word. Generally I'm reserved. People have to ask me questions and strike my interest for me to speak up. I usually assume that anything I have to say isn't interesting to those around me (that is, if I don't know them well).

Meeting someone unexpectedly often throws me.:doh:

lol, me too.
 

substitute

New member
Joined
May 27, 2007
Messages
4,601
MBTI Type
ENTP
My best friend in the universe is an ISTP. I wouldn't say 'shy' was a word that really comes to mind about him. Reserved perhaps, but not shy - shy is my sister, who's been known to go a long distance just to do a certain thing, and then seriously consider going back just because when she gets there, it isn't immediately apparent which door to go through and she won't ask the receptionist or whatever. THAT is shy.

My ISTP wouldn't have any trouble with asking strangers for the time/a light/directions etc. and when it's non-strangers at a dinner party, but people he's still not very familiar with, he's still fine to ask them to pass the corkscrew or any question he feels like asking (unlike my sister, who'd go without wine rather than ask for the corkscrew).

But on the other hand, he can sometimes be a bit overly self-effacing, needlessly so, when he talks. I think he thinks he's less bright than he is in reality (he is very bright), and sometimes assumes that whoever's in the room is bound to be cleverer than him, so I often see him venturing opinions or information, then sorta trying to dismiss his own words as if applying 'attack first' to himself, like he's sure everyone'll think he's stupid or wrong or whatever.

Particularly if a 'big word' is involved in articulating his ideas - he'll say the word perfectly, and I know that the only way to make him keep talking is if I show no reaction whatsoever to his use of this word. And whilst in normal circumstances I wouldn't even notice, it's hard not to notice or react when I can see that he's suddenly all nervous and looking at me like he's trying to see if I'm inwardly laughing at him for pronouncing it wrongly or something. And it's weird cos I've never ever corrected him once. He's rarely ever needed it and as often as not he can correct me. But I have to just not even blink and act like I haven't noticed he used a big word, if I want him to just carry on with what he was saying (which I do).

And he stops himself talking all the time, starts telling himself to shut up right when he's really starting to open up and pique people's fascination.

I dunno, it's like he has a self-destruct mechanism: he believes everyone thinks he's dumb, but then he creates a viscious circle by not letting himself say anything that would prove otherwise.

He's still a top dude though. I mean he really knows his stuff.
 

JustDave

New member
Joined
Jan 20, 2008
Messages
992
MBTI Type
xNTP
Shy? Only when tired and I don't want to deal with people.

Socially anxious? Not really, but I hate crowds.

Reserved? Very much so. However, I'm always polite.
 

luminous beam

♪♫♪♫♪♫
Joined
Feb 12, 2008
Messages
744
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
2w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
<3 sorry, i still very much so appreciate, admire and like ISTPs :)
 

yepISTP

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2008
Messages
3
Shy-I would say definitely not. I think of shyness as being nervous or having a lack of self confidence. Most of the time when ISTPs appear shy, they just don't really want to meet people.

Sociall Anxious-Perhaps a little bit? I am somewhat anxious, but only if I'm around a large group of people I don't know.

Reserved-Definitely.
 

pardo

New member
Joined
May 24, 2008
Messages
51
MBTI Type
istp
I've been very shy (almost social phobic) in the past, I mostly overcame it a few years ago, but I'm still somewhat restrained in many situations. I view it as a problem of mine, not a temperament trait, and I *hate* it because it prevents me from doing things I'd like to do.

On the other hand, even now that I've won most of my past problems, I still simply don't enjoy big companies, parties and such, I often prefer to see my (few) friends one at a time rather than all together. I usually avoid meeting new people because they distract me from the task at hand and/or from my hobbies (<-which is also the main reason why I've always avoided being too socially involved). So yes I'm very reserved.

Maybe it has something to do with having both INTP and ISTP traits.
 

yukino2002

New member
Joined
Sep 6, 2008
Messages
10
MBTI Type
ISTP
Like most of the replies here, I'd say that I'm more reserved than anything else.

I can be socially anxious if I am in a group situation where I do not know anyone. But also that can usually prod me to try and find someone I can relate with.

I think I probably appear shy, only because I don't like going through the social niceties of small talk and the initial phases of meeting someone new.
 

mcmartinez84

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2007
Messages
650
MBTI Type
ISTP
I think I probably appear shy, only because I don't like going through the social niceties of small talk and the initial phases of meeting someone new.

:steam: I hate social rules. Small talk = awful. I don't remember most people I only small talk with.
 

yukino2002

New member
Joined
Sep 6, 2008
Messages
10
MBTI Type
ISTP
:steam: I hate social rules. Small talk = awful. I don't remember most people I only small talk with.

Same conversation - different person. Meh.

If only there was some sort of obvious indicator that would tell you which people would be interesting to talk to and which people would end up boring you to no end.
 

HomeSlice

New member
Joined
Aug 27, 2008
Messages
14
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
If only there was some sort of obvious indicator that would tell you which people would be interesting to talk to and which people would end up boring you to no end.
yes.
yessss. YES
small talk is utterly useless, puts me to sleep, plz talk about something cool like blowing shit up or running away from the canine unit, even if its a lie i don't care it's interesting, thank you.
 

Kleinheiko

New member
Joined
Aug 9, 2008
Messages
47
MBTI Type
IxTP
Enneagram
9w1
I can be really interesting when I first meet a few people, because I don't really expect to see them again (loosens my inhibitions.) I can hog the center of the conversation, and entertain a group of people for a whole evening. Then the next time I see these people, I turn out to actually be a really "boring" person. That's when I become socially anxious and reserved, when I think that people are expecting me to be somebody I'm really not. I think If I make the tiniest mistake, new friends and acquaintances will not like me anymore. I simply wait and listen to the conversation until I have the chance to throw in a quick one liner or some interesting fact.
 

Colors

The Destroyer
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
1,276
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
That's SO true about me. Mind-reading, quite. I don't know though. People don't seem to like either me. I'm too aggressive or too quiet- nobody's fooled either way.
 

Winz

New member
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Aug 31, 2008
Messages
90
MBTI Type
ISTP
Shy? kinda, yes. Socially anxious? does Social Phobia count? 'cause if so, then yes :p Reserved? definitely.
 

lauranna

Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2008
Messages
764
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I would say sometimes i appear shy. But it is usually if i am not in the mood to meet people. I do get a bit anxious if i meet someone unexpectedly and out of context and have been known to ignore people i have met before if i bump into them out of context. (like in the supermarket or somewhere) Not because i have forgotten them but because i have a momentary panic when i recognise them because i thought i was alone and i'm thinking. Or obviously not alone as such but alone as in anonymous. Amongst strangers. And talking to them would be like way too much effort if i wasn't expecting it.

On the other hand, in a social situation i am expecting i am confident, reserved if i don't know people, but not averse to conversation. And talkative, fun and chatty with people i do.

So i do not experience social anxiety as such.
Only Unexpected social anxiety when they try and interrupt my alone time.
I generally get along well with most people and people who don't know me well would entirely misread my personality type as i can do a very good impression of an EF when i want to.
In a work type social situation, with people i don't know well, i tend to be quiet and reserved and listening and throw in witty one liners.
 

Anja

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May 2, 2008
Messages
2,967
MBTI Type
INFP
My ISTP son is truly my Enigma. I rarely know what's going on in his head but I know that he's thinking deep thoughts which he seldom chooses to share.

He has a diagnosed case of Social Anxiety Disorder.

Very quiet, but a true barrel o' laffs. He watches a group he is in and slips in little clever quips and unless you're listening closely you'll miss the joke.

He has the power of invisibility and can enter and leave a room with no one noticing. When he was little, someone was always saying, "Hey! Where did Matt go?"

Edit: The family was once eating in a restaurant together and the waitress nearly sat in his lap to attract his attention. She eavesdropped and picked up his name so every time she came to the table, she'd adress him, doin' the eye thing and the whole nine yards.

We were all going, "Matt, Matt. Ask her for her phone number."

He said he couldn't tell whether she liked him or not!
 
Last edited:

Grayscale

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Dec 20, 2007
Messages
1,965
MBTI Type
ISTP
plz talk about something cool like blowing shit up or running away from the canine unit

:devil:

My ISTP son is truly my Enigma. I rarely know what's going on in his head but I know that he's thinking deep thoughts which he seldom chooses to share.

...

Very quiet, but a true barrel o' laffs. He watches a group he is in and slips in little clever quips and unless you're listening closely you'll miss the joke.

He has the power of invisibility and can enter and leave a room with no one noticing. When he was little, someone was always saying, "Hey! Where did Matt go?"

sounds exactly like i was when i was a kid. :)
 

burkeus

Permabanned
Joined
Sep 2, 2008
Messages
83
MBTI Type
ENTP
But it shows me that he doesn't allow intamacy with anyone.

I'm pretty sure he could if he really wanted to. Perhaps he just doesn't want to be one of the ordinary folks.
 

yepISTP

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Joined
Jul 28, 2008
Messages
3
Edit: The family was once eating in a restaurant together and the waitress nearly sat in his lap to attract his attention. She eavesdropped and picked up his name so every time she came to the table, she'd adress him, doin' the eye thing and the whole nine yards.

We were all going, "Matt, Matt. Ask her for her phone number."

He said he couldn't tell whether she liked him or not!


This sounds oddly familiar.

Although normally I'm a pretty good judge of people I am AWFUL at judging their interest in me. ESPECIALLY if it has to do with romantic interest/attraction but even friendship some too.

Any istps feel like this? Is this a typical trait?
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
This sounds oddly familiar.

Although normally I'm a pretty good judge of people I am AWFUL at judging their interest in me. ESPECIALLY if it has to do with romantic interest/attraction but even friendship some too.

Any istps feel like this? Is this a typical trait?

Sounds familiar, but I'm not ISTP...
 

millerm277

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Joined
Feb 1, 2008
Messages
978
MBTI Type
ISTP
Although normally I'm a pretty good judge of people I am AWFUL at judging their interest in me. ESPECIALLY if it has to do with romantic interest/attraction but even friendship some too.

Yeah. It's probably let to me missing a few opportunities there. Often...I have to get told by either the person I'm interested in or by someone else before I make a move, because I don't pick up on it, or I'm too reluctant otherwise, because of not being very certain.
 
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