[MBTI General] Shy

[Quinlan]

I'm fairly socially awkward and reserved which leads me to shy away from people at times.

 

[Sunshine]

I'm fairly socially awkward and reserved which leads me to shy away from people at times.

Same.

I relax and open up a little if everyone around me is kind and friendly though.

On the whole I'm very shy though. Not that that stops me. If underneath my layer of shyness is a desire to go to whatever social event then I go. I used to let my shyness rule me but the more I face my shyness head on and the more I'm around people the less shy I get and the better I feel.

Slightly OT comment: I think that for those of us who are shy to an extreme (I used to be) that if we're at a point in which we aren't going to be comfortable around strangers any time soon that it's a good idea for us to accept it. One of my major problems when dealing with my shyness years ago was that I didn't accept it about myself. I rejected it. But later on I realized that I needed to accept it and it felt so much better. When I was in a situation that caused me to feel shy I would internally aknowledge my shyness and tell myself that it was ok for me to feel that way. That really helped.

 

[Pancreas]

As a child I was the epitome of shy. Now I'm more reserved, but usually only noticeably so in situations where I feel under pressure to adhere to some sort of social expectation (job interviews, meeting distant relatives, etc).

 

[King sns]

I'm shy when I meet people for the first time so I just smile and giggle a lot until I know them

 

[Poki]

I am always told that I am very quiet. Its a combination of shy, ISTP, and introvert. When I first meet you its that I am shy. After that if I have no interest in the topic at hand my ISTP personality just zones me out. If I am interested my introvertedness keeps me in my head about what is being said. So I really dont say much unless I know you, I like you, and we have common interests.

 

[Walking Tourist]

I am shy when I'm in a large group or when I meet people for the first time, too. I tend to giggle a lot as well. Once I get to know people, they probably wonder what happened to the quiet giggler. I can be a motormouth and I am not at all reserved. On the other hand, I am not a gregarious take-the-initiative in social situations type of person so I suppose that's what makes me an introvert.
I'd love to have feedback.
(I tend to pout when I feel ignored...)

I'm shy when I meet people for the first time so I just smile and giggle a lot until I know them

 

[Mallow]

With individuals, once I get to know them a bit, no.
With groups, always, there is too much happening for me to focus on and I'm not good at seeing a group of people as a kind of single entity like some people seem to be able to do, and relate in that way to it.

 

[Walking Tourist]

Tell me more about how you see a group.
I see too many people, hear too much noise (especially when there are a lot of competing conversations... and I can't filter out background noise so I get overstimulated)... and it's just too chaotic for me.

With individuals, once I get to know them a bit, no.
With groups, always, there is too much happening for me to focus on and I'm not good at seeing a group of people as a kind of single entity like some people seem to be able to do, and relate in that way to it.

 

[JRT]

Well my job doesn't really give me the option to be shy so i'd have to say no! But I hate going to clubs (unless there's good music) and parties and even some family events..but you put me in a training room and it's all eyes on me

 

[Mallow]

Tell me more about how you see a group.
I see too many people, hear too much noise (especially when there are a lot of competing conversations... and I can't filter out background noise so I get overstimulated)... and it's just too chaotic for me.

Pretty much the same way you do.
But when I was instructed on giving speeches, etc, I was told to imagine that everyone is just a pumpkin and you're talking to a field of pumpkins, or a bunch of ants.
I suppose it was meant to calm anxiety but it never worked for me.

When the attention of a group of people is on me I wilt like the wallflower that I am.
If they wish to see me in full bloom they must do so out of the corners of their eyes when the group's attention is primarily focused on something else.

 

[JRT]

Pretty much the same way you do.
But when I was instructed on giving speeches, etc, I was told to imagine that everyone is just a pumpkin and you're talking to a field of pumpkins, or a bunch of ants.
I suppose it was meant to calm anxiety but it never worked for me.

When the attention of a group of people is on me I wilt like the wallflower that I am.
If they wish to see me in full bloom they must do so out of the corners of their eyes when the group's attention is primarily focused on something else.

I never got that either...like imagine they're all in their underwear or something..I don't know but when I look at my students or audience I see people as they are..meh must be the S in me. The only way I got better was in training for my job we would give presentations every day. Starting around 3 minutes long and the last one was infront of my divisions project specialists along with the rest of the class. So the only way to get better is do it over and over. Something that helps me is that when i'm training I always think that they want information and need this information in order to do their jobs so that makes me feel better.

 

[frenchkiss]

I am shy.

It sort of waxes and wanes, though. There have been periods in my life where I have been very outgoing. It all seems to depend on how often I get out there and socialize. There more I do it, the more outgoing I become, and the more I spend time by myself the more I mold back into shyness.

Something that helps me is that when i'm training I always think that they want information and need this information in order to do their jobs so that makes me feel better.

When I used to do public speaking for my job, this is the exact same thing that helped me, too. Like I am just the receptacle or whatever.

 

[Walking Tourist]

I used to be too shy to sing in recitals.
I was told to imagine the audience dressed in nothing but their underwear. That didn't work. The thought of all of those people sitting in the audience, dressed in nothing but their drawers made me laugh really hard. I can't sing and laugh simultaneously.
What did work for me was removing my glasses. The audience turned into a big faceless blur. Surely, I could sing to a blur. Nobody was making faces so it was quite all right.
Eventually, though, I turned into a ham and started to like performing for an audience.

Pretty much the same way you do.
But when I was instructed on giving speeches, etc, I was told to imagine that everyone is just a pumpkin and you're talking to a field of pumpkins, or a bunch of ants.
I suppose it was meant to calm anxiety but it never worked for me.

When the attention of a group of people is on me I wilt like the wallflower that I am.
If they wish to see me in full bloom they must do so out of the corners of their eyes when the group's attention is primarily focused on something else.

 

[JRT]

I used to be too shy to sing in recitals.
I was told to imagine the audience dressed in nothing but their underwear. That didn't work. The thought of all of those people sitting in the audience, dressed in nothing but their drawers made me laugh really hard. I can't sing and laugh simultaneously.
What did work for me was removing my glasses. The audience turned into a big faceless blur. Surely, I could sing to a blur. Nobody was making faces so it was quite all right.
Eventually, though, I turned into a ham and started to like performing for an audience.

I used to be shy aswell and my piano teacher thought I was being disrespectful because I just wouldn't go and she fired me lol.

 

[Walking Tourist]

Oh my!
Fired by a piano teacher!
Do you have another one who understands about shy people???

I used to be shy aswell and my piano teacher thought I was being disrespectful because I just wouldn't go and she fired me lol.

 

[JRT]

Oh my!
Fired by a piano teacher!
Do you have another one who understands about shy people???

I know isn't that awful? And she would always come into this store I would work at and be fake nice and be like are you still playing piano?? And I told her No . I've stopped playing piano although you never know I may pick it up again one day

 

[NewEra]

I am shy.

It sort of waxes and wanes, though. There have been periods in my life where I have been very outgoing. It all seems to depend on how often I get out there and socialize. There more I do it, the more outgoing I become, and the more I spend time by myself the more I mold back into shyness.

Yeah I'm the same way. Shy if I'm alone for a while, but when I hang out with people more and more, not shy.

 

[Skyline]

I'm shy. Today a nice teacher asked me if I'm shy. I answered with a convinced 'yes'. He said :
"People who are shy, always think others are thinking things about them. when really other people don't care about other people other than themselves and so mostly think about themselves".
Like the chaotic sentence?

Anyways, the point is he made a point. And I'm sticking to it.
Personal note: It's good to find peeps who understand & inspire. Btw, he is shy too, that's why he brought it up.

 

[Kasper]

"People who are shy, always think others are thinking things about them. when really other people don't care about other people other than themselves and so mostly think about themselves".

Don't agree with the first part of that. I consider myself pretty shy in some situations but I'm well aware that most other people are too wrapped up in their own concerns to give a shit

 

[Skyline]

Don't agree with the first part of that. I consider myself pretty shy in some situations but I'm well aware that most other people are too wrapped up in their own concerns to give a shit

It's good you're always aware of that,then. I know what you mean, I don't always have to think people are thinking things about me when I am being shy, yet I can and sometimes do have the tendency to feel watched (& maybe judged) by people - and I don't get that when I'm Not being shy & self-aware together.
....So maybe it's the shyness + self awareness (+ Insecurity?) that can give the feeling of being thought of/"watched"/judged/...