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[SP] SP Dealbreakers

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Taking from the formula of the other thread, answer the following in four separate sections-

1. Your gender
2. Must haves
3. Would likes
4. Would rather not have
5. Deal Breakers
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
1. My Gender- Male.

2. Must haves-
  • MUST be smart! I have a hard time being friends with people who are your Average Joe, and I expect for someone I'm in a relationship with to be able to carry on a good conversation and hold their own.
  • Must have a sense of personal standards that they uphold for themselves. I hate feeling alienated over my opinions or having standards. I've met a surprising amount of people who really just don't give a shit; and that's not what I need, nor can I really bond with these kinds of people.
  • Must be open minded.
  • Liberal politically, as I'm pro choice, all for gay rights, and I love to spar with people over these things, but it wouldn't go down well in a relationship if we had different beliefs.
  • Must not be clingy, jaded, or let themselves get taken over by their emotions. Funnily enough these seem to be the kinds of people who fall for me.

3. Would likes-
  • Nerdy or a gamer.
  • Somewhat spiritual, or formulated religious ideas.
  • Similar sex drive to me.

3. Would Rather Not Have-

  • Sports fan
  • Smoker
  • Weighs more than me

4. Dealbreakers!

  • Drugs.
  • Manipulative attitude.
  • General sense of instability.
  • No job, no future ahead of them.
  • Not wanting to change themselves for the better.
  • The opposite of my must haves generally.
 

Randomnity

insert random title here
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
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Wait, what's the difference between must haves and dealbreakers? Those are the same thing in my book.
 

Randomnity

insert random title here
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
9,485
MBTI Type
ISTP
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6w5
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sp/sx
I'm female.

Must have:

-attractive to me
-fun to hang out with
-not a sociopath/homophobe/controlling/etc
-compatible sex drive
-willing and able to communicate effectively with me
-lives an independent adult life, supporting themselves
-mentally stable/not dramatic

The "like to have" list is crazy long. Some of the stronger ones are:

-smart
-athletic
-non-smoker
-open mind
-not religous (dealbreaker if religious enough)

That's just off the top of my head, so I probably forgot some important ones.
 

acronach

New member
Joined
May 30, 2012
Messages
304
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
interested to see more people posting in this thread
 

Poki

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2008
Messages
10,436
MBTI Type
STP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Male

Must have:
-A birth certificate stating they are female
-attractive to me
-fun to hang out with
-not a sociopath/homophobe/controlling/etc
-compatible sex drive
-willing and able to communicate effectively with me
-lives an independent adult life, supporting themselves
-mentally stable/not dramatic
- open minded

Must have
- Non-smoker
- No Drugs

:nice: Thanks Randomnity
 

KDude

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2010
Messages
8,243
What sparks you guys to list this stuff? Experience?

I think both my experience and my "fantasy" life is shot. I'm not good at coming up with particulars. I guess drug free would be good. I'm gonna steal that one.
 

Randomnity

insert random title here
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
9,485
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ISTP
Enneagram
6w5
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sp/sx
What sparks you guys to list this stuff? Experience?

I think both my experience and my "fantasy" life is shot. I'm not good at coming up with particulars. I guess drug free would be good. I'm gonna steal that one.

It's just common sense to me. I guess that comes from experience + personality + reasoning?
 

KDude

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2010
Messages
8,243
It's just common sense to me. I guess that comes from experience + personality + reasoning?

You mean common sense to everyone? Some of it is common sense maybe, but some things listed I have seen play out in likable/amusing ways. So I have a hard time calling many things dealbreakers, I guess.
 

Randomnity

insert random title here
Joined
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Messages
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You mean common sense to everyone?

Nah, just for me. I know what I like, more or less. I don't really have to think about it, I just know. So maybe common sense is a bad word. It's just what seems obvious to me, for me.
 

Orangey

Blah
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
6,354
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
6w5
I don't believe in deal breakers. In fact, I hate the entire concept of them.

Haven't any of you seen the film Ruby Sparks?
 

KDude

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2010
Messages
8,243
I don't believe in deal breakers. In fact, I hate the entire concept of them.

Haven't any of you seen the film Ruby Sparks?

I haven't seen it, but we're probably on the same page. You sound more confident in this choice though.
 

LedZeppelin33

New member
Joined
Aug 14, 2012
Messages
2
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I. My Gender: Male.

II. Must have(s):
- A Female. lol
- Good hygiene.
- She must wear sexy perfume.
- Interested in how she dresses/looks
- Intelligent but not arrogant.
- Confident but classy.
- Understanding that I may appear emotionless 83% of the time and doesn't hold it against me or takes it personally.
- Appreciates my unique ways of displaying affection towards her.
- Doesn't mind that I would prefer to make out with her versus talking/listening sometimes with/to her.
(In fact, she would digg it too.) lol
- Must be sexually adventurous with me and not a prude.
- Join me in my cleverly, random outtings at times, regardless of the time it may be, or whether we may get caught
or not.
- Good-hearted, good intentions.
- Loves and respects her family and can be able to get along, respect, and eventually care for mine as well.
- Respects my private, recharge time..even if it has been three days and she hasn't seen me or talked to me much.
- Nice Smile. *
- Isn't too uptight and doesn't take herself too seriously.
- Yes, I drive fast, not because I'm always late, but rather, everyone else either drives too slow, too stupid, or thinks
they're the only ones who can go fast. Yes, I will be careful, I Know my car, I Know what I'm doing, you Will be
safe, now let's listen to music as I push this baby towards 90+ mph. Just enjoy! lol
- Minimum, a compatible sense of humor. Make me laugh and I'll work to make you laugh harder!

III. Would likes:

- Brunette w/ Hazel eyes
- Between 5' 0" and 5' 10"
- She has some money I can hold on to. lol

IV. Would rather not have:

- Stuck up individual.
- Structured and not flexible.
- Takes things too seriously, causes scenes when every little thing goes "off plan".
- Rude more than 60 % of the time.
- Unapologetic when she makes mistakes, above apologies or being wrong.
- Inconsiderate of me/ my private time/ my differences and inconsiderate of others and their own style.
- Severe narrow-mindedness is a turn off.
- I'm vulgar, so when you say something that is inappropriate, whether to me or someone else, that is saying
something.
- Animal cruelty.
- Child neglect/neglect.
- Someone who does not depend on me or others for all of their fun. Knows how to entertain herself too.
- Neediness is not needed.
- Someone who ignores me or takes me for granted.
- Someone who takes what I say and understands it differently than the way I meant it. Reads into things too much.

V. Deal Breakers:

- Bad hygiene. lol
- Croc sandals.
- And hippies..-.-.
(Just kidding) lol
 

StephMC

Controlled Mischief
Joined
Mar 2, 2009
Messages
1,044
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sp/sx
Nice thread idea, [MENTION=5627]BlackCat[/MENTION] :yes:

1. Your gender: Female
2. Must haves:
  • Open-minded and accepting/caring of people from all walks of life.
  • A strong desire to grow/learn/better themselves.
  • Adventurous, and enjoys both initiating something adventurous, and following along with my adventures
  • Compatible sex drive (Shouldn't we just assume this is a must for all SPs though? :D )
  • Active/exercises and/or generally just takes care of their body/health. People that trash their bodies (all the time, at least) aren't attractive to me.
  • Has their own hobbies/interests they would enjoy sharing with me if I took an interest (and vice versa)
  • Someone I can generally laugh and have fun with
  • Someone with depth and enjoys the occasional deep conversation. Someone interested in who I am, and what I have to say (and vice versa, of course)
3. Would likes:
  • Be able to adjust and enjoy themselves to most settings -- whether chilling out at home, going out to have a crazy night, be able to hang out with any type of crowd
  • Someone able to pull me out of my shell when I disappear into introvert land -- so probably someone a little more extroverted than I am
  • Someone assertive, and able to handle conflicts well
4. Would rather not have:
  • Smoker
  • Pot head
  • Argumentative/confrontational
  • Someone overly sensitive or easily offended
  • Someone who wants to have TOO many serious/deep conversations :mellow:
5. Deal Breakers:
  • Really negative and/or judgmental
  • Has a strong, unhealthy addiction of any kind and is unwilling to work on it
  • Excessively shallow and/or materialistic
  • Narcissistic
 

ChocolateMoose123

New member
Joined
Oct 4, 2008
Messages
5,278
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
1. I'm female
2. Must haves: Have to have a good time with them. Compatible sex drive. Medium sociability. Able to try new things easily. Supportive of my efforts. Attractive to me. We both would be financially independent from one another.

3. Would like: him to be non judgemental about casual marijuana use. Athletic lifestyle is a +. Someone who can get along with my friends isn't necessary but a bonus.

4. Would rather not have and Deal Breakers are the same to me: someone extremely money/status driven. Drug user (other than casual mj use) Cigarette smoker. Heavy drinker ( getting shitfaced every weekend). Superficial values.
 

KDude

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2010
Messages
8,243
3. Would like: him to be non judgemental about casual marijuana use. Athletic lifestyle is a +.

BobMarleyPlayingSoccer.jpg
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
Joined
Jun 7, 2008
Messages
6,743
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx
1. My Gender- Male.

2. Must haves-
  • MUST be smart! I have a hard time being friends with people who are your Average Joe, and I expect for someone I'm in a relationship with to be able to carry on a good conversation and hold their own.
  • Must have a sense of personal standards that they uphold for themselves. I hate feeling alienated over my opinions or having standards. I've met a surprising amount of people who really just don't give a shit; and that's not what I need, nor can I really bond with these kinds of people.
  • Must be open minded.
  • Liberal politically, as I'm pro choice, all for gay rights, and I love to spar with people over these things, but it wouldn't go down well in a relationship if we had different beliefs.
  • Must not be clingy, jaded, or let themselves get taken over by their emotions. Funnily enough these seem to be the kinds of people who fall for me.

3. Would likes-
  • Nerdy or a gamer.
  • Somewhat spiritual, or formulated religious ideas.
  • Similar sex drive to me.

3. Would Rather Not Have-

  • Sports fan
  • Smoker
  • Weighs more than me

4. Dealbreakers!

  • Drugs.
  • Manipulative attitude.
  • General sense of instability.
  • No job, no future ahead of them.
  • Not wanting to change themselves for the better.
  • The opposite of my must haves generally.

Very NF list there!


Taking from the formula of the other thread, answer the following in four separate sections-

1. Your gender
2. Must haves
3. Would likes
4. Would rather not have
5. Deal Breakers

Wait, so 5 different things in four separate sections? This is like one of those algebra problems I used to hate in school. ;) I had to follow two different links to find out what this was really about, but here goes...

1. Rap (if you don't get that joke, search for the Weird Al Eminem interview on Youtube.)

2. A pulse, sense of humor, a moral code that forbids killing or abusing people

3. Cash money, cooking skills, nice smile, curves, likes to laugh, likes to travel, likes kids, affectionate, enjoys oldies music

4. Contagious diseases, drug/alcohol abuse habits, inability to control the volume of her voice, constant profanity, frequent shedding of skin/hair, bad taste in music

5. Having a plan to poison me in my sleep, stalker ex-boyfriend/husband, current husband, constant need to scream "THE FERRETS ARE COMING" at the top of her lungs, always covered in insects, member of the Obama campaign
 
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