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  1. #71
    Member Dudesowin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sequestered View Post
    This is my favorite thread on the web and over the past several months I've
    returned often to try and "figure out" my ISTP love interest. Yes...much to my dismay that in and of itself is a non sequitur...

    My LDR relationship with him is the strangest relationship I've ever had with
    ANYONE and yet I am drawn to it despite his seeming reticence.

    - The sex is uninhibited and very generous on his part.
    - The compliments, though rare, are genuine.
    - The witty banter is a lot of fun.
    - He's VERY "un-complicated" and doesn't ask for much, doesn't ask for anything of me really.
    - I observe that he can be very flirtatious with other women, but it's
    emotionally shallow, "means" nothing, and he takes it very lightly.
    - "What you see is what you get, take it or leave it" seems to be his attitude.
    - Definitely not perceptive to subtle hints; it's better, I have found through
    trial and error, for me to just come right out & say things, ask questions, seek clarification plain and simple.

    He is "stuck in a rut" right now and, from my perspective, severly depressed. He seems to have built a wall around himself but only won't let "me" in (that's my perception at least). His shallow online flirtations with female (and male)
    friends continue despite the depression , and he describes this as stress relief.
    Ugh you are definitely manifesting this you are practically going up to him every day like "So tell me what bad happened today" and he is all like well today it was okay... um bad though? Like how what does she mean oh what we were talking about before?

    I've been in this rut before with women relationship wise. Why are you so sadistic nibbling at "bits of his inner struggles" as you say, that's creepy as hell why are you being so emo. Everything you just said he most likely thinks about you and is trying to express sympathy for your disposition in relation to himself. If you were in anyway a good friend you would kick him while he is down and laugh about it. Or better yet just random acts of indirect violence. Show him you care with anger. Tell him you aren't taking this rubbish and will shit on his dead mama's grave if he keeps it up! He could use the Adrenaline and perhaps a few other hormones try sardines, chocolate, apples good pick me ups. Pull a few one liners from Tyler Perry's Madea. I would recommend some orchestra and symphonic metal music to get things going.
    Mastery is its own reward.

  2. #72
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    I noticed in the thread where you say what type you see the above person ending up with, the most popular answer seemed to be ISTP, so maybe there is something to this theory!

  3. #73
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    Hey all,
    So ISTPs don't like any commitments right?
    Well he used to be my friend and suddenly in 2 hours he was my bf.


    I'M STRUGGLING. A LOT

    I know they don't like to make any commitment. they live at the moment.He's always worried about me asking him for marriage.

    As an INFJ I like to make commitment. I want to be sure of the future (which I know it could not b certain but I love the sound of it) but he keeps being worried. actually we're both more worried than happy now!

    And then suddenly I just revealed my personality card and told him : I love you but I cannot say I love you unconditionally! it is a chance that i wake up one morning and decide it's over.(He's seen me in my previous relationships as my best friend! ) if only I think that the feelings are not mutual I may leave - He said he was ready for everything! as it's not that much important for him if I leave. But I just wanted to leave him -we have an argument which it leaded to our relationship - and I didn't answer him for two days and he was so nervous and sad and disappointed!

    Any suggestions guys?
    Should I leave him right now just because he doesn't like any kinda of commitment? OR should we give each other some times?


    P.S: We've been best friend for a year and a half.and by best friend I could say he's my soulmate

  4. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by Councilor View Post
    From a detached perspective of myself:
    ISTPs function by themself as a unit, and want to function as a complete unit when someone else is involved. If there is too much discord the ISTP is better of by themself.

    I hate to use the tool analogy, but there is a time, place and method for sex. It is a tool to be used as the ISTP sees fit. There may be something better to use, and there probably is. It seems unfitting when the other person wants to use the sledge, when a chisel is called for - and would be more fun.
    Yup!!

    +100

  5. #75
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    I like to fuck a woman's mind before I fuck her body. I like when she plays hard to get (but I also don't like it)
    Likes GirlSmartStreet liked this post

  6. #76
    Member GirlSmartStreet's Avatar
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    ooo... let's see. if I were a man--and also if i see my istp guy friends...
    an intelligent and smart woman will be very attractive. The fierce and bold that pretty assured with what they are into will be great too. i will like any woman who can excite me whenever she can. but i can consider any woman as long as they respect my interests, hobbies, and personal space.

    For sex, it depends. I will sometimes consider sex as casual sex. But of course, istp can feel something special if the woman he is having sex with is really his type. It can be emotional if istp doing it with the right woman.
    Likes I, Tonya liked this post

  7. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by grendiecat View Post
    So little out there on this--yes, ISTPs are painfully irresistible but what makes them tick romantically--what are they really looking for in a woman and is sex really so purely physical, not so emotional for them? I'm an ENFJ (though almost an ENFP).
    I'm an INFJ but my SO is an ISTP..

    Speaking of purely my SO but wondering if it applies to all ISTPs:

    I think he is capable of deep and profound emotions but he buries them deep away, most of the time writing off emotion as "useless" and hardly ever expresses his emotions unless we reach a crisis point (i.e. someone dies or our relationship is in turmoil). He likes tangible things, logic.. things he can see, touch, feel (with his hands).. He doesn't want to make a decision based on emotion alone, he wants to know the facts.

    I don't think sex is unemotional for him, there are many times he is selfless in the bedroom or emotionally involved. But I do think he does what feels good physically for him. I think he likes to give back in the bedroom too, nothing is sexier (for most of us anyway) than the other person being into it. But I think he is capable of having "emotionless" sex or hookups, etc. whereas I am not. I have very little to no desire to have a one night stand, but I know from his history that he's capable of it/enjoys it (but he does prefer longterm relationships). In a relationship/our relationship though, I think sex is probably the one place where he does allow himself to feel a little more emotion than he would on a day to day level, at least that's what I feel from him at times. He can be very loving and tender in that respect when most other times he is not or not as much. In the beginning he even tried tantra with me and that was amazing. There have been many times where I initiated more of a "sex for the sake of sex" type of rendezvous (try kinkier stuff?? lol) and he seemed almost offended and told me he wanted to make love to me.

    As far as romance- he is not very romantic in the stereotypical way. I think he gets flowers and chocolate and cards for valentines day because he knows he will be in trouble if he doesn't and he just wants to make me happy.. He told me once that Valentine's Day was stupid, lol. He's definitely not sappy or emotional or romantic in that sense. His way of being romantic/showing he cares is by doing things for me. He holds my hand a lot. He cuddles me at night. I got mad at him once in a fight (he was in the doghouse so to speak, screwed up), and yelled at him "do something, anything to show me you care and that you're sorry" so he put shelves in my closet for me. (I had been asking for months) That's just his way, and I appreciate him for that, actually.

    As far as what they are looking for in a woman, I think they need physical attraction. I'm sure some type of emotional/mental connection needs to be there too.. but I think it starts on a physical plane for him. I think some things he wished were different about me is that I was less sensitive, less in my head/overthinking, less intuitive/believing in things that cant be seen (he doesn't mind that as much when it comes to spiritual stuff, but more so when I know he's not being totally forthcoming with me or when I have a "hunch" about something but I can't necessarily give him the facts to back it up..)...

  8. #78
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    Commitments have never scared me. Being trapped is a different story. Commitment is not trapped, its a choice.

    I was asked if i was a romantic by someone and i dont even think i know what romantic is. I thougt about it and said...no, i am better at seduction side of things. Which she could see, and i asked GF and she agreed.

    Love is easy for me as i just dont surround myself by people i dont love. I dont see a point to

    I have never been friedzoned outside of situation...basically either i am taken or they are taken at the time. I build up slowly on people, the longer a person knows ne the more they usually like me. Im an easy person to get along with and leave people wanting more because i just want different then that person offers in my life.
    Likes I, Tonya liked this post

  9. #79
    Junior Member Gustavo's Avatar
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    I have no problem in showing affection, although I prefer to do it physically.

    I like intensity

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