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[ESFP] ESFP... not too social?

phoenix13

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This is branching off the "Nonsocial ENFPs" thread.

ENFPs are considered by some the most introverted of the extroverts. Introverted Feeling seems to be partially responsible. ESFPs also have Fi as their auxiliary function.

So, here's my question to ESFPs and those who know ESFPs: Are you nonsocial? Do you ever find yourself shying away from small talk, meeting new people, and non-stop partying?

Any and all responses are greatly appreciated. :D
 

Haphazard

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I've heard that Ne also makes people seem somewhat introverted. Even though it's 'extroverted perception,' it's still internalizing information to make connections.

Se, I guess, wouldn't be like that.

Then again, you never know until you ask...
 

Jae Rae

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I have a very good friend who's ESFP and she's always up for a party. She chats with everyone, runs late because she can't stop talking, loves to go out to coffee or meals with friends, makes large dinners for them, etc. She's a Waldorf teacher who eats lunch with her kids. She loves meeting new people and is overall a very social person.

Jae Rae
 

nozflubber

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bah misread!!1.....

EDIT: I don't think ESFPs have problems dealing and coping with their feelings that an ENFP might have. An ENFP needs thick skin, but I see ESFP as being better grounded in RATIONAL extraversion
 
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phoenix13

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You lost me. What is this "rational extroversion?"

and while we're at it, what is this "internalization" of extraverted perception? Ne is not processed/internalized; its contents are, by Fi. What I mean is, I don't think Ne is that deep... OK, I guess I'm saying it's not introverted. BLEHHH!!! *squish* <---my brain
 

nozflubber

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Now that you ask, I really don't know. I'll reflect on it a bit, but basically what I think I mean is not letting the grotesqueries(sp) of the social world wound you emotionally, leading some social settings to be aversive stimulii
 

SillySapienne

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I've heard that Ne also makes people seem somewhat introverted. Even though it's 'extroverted perception,' it's still internalizing information to make connections.
This is true, (for me at least), when in super-duper analysynthesis mode and in the wrong company (which is often), I tend to STFU and KSTM (keep shit to myself). :D

Edit: Sorry for being off topic. :/
 

phoenix13

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Hmmmmm, rational as in not colored by introverted feeling? In strict Jungian terms: not colored by our rational function (see what I did there? woot!).

...but that's not what makes ENFPs (ok, just me) withdraw. Or at least, it's not the primary reason. Bad people are a pain in the ass, and probably piss us off more than most, but it's not like I have to hide in my igloo to escape the evil in the world...

nevertheless, my intuition sees a grain of truth in that. Maybe I'll reflect on it as well...

EDIT: I'm totally being off topic as well... :banned:

So, to bring it back (loosely), why the hell would Se be more resiliant against Fi's intrusions? Is Se-fueled Fi a different brand altogether? Does the content that it processes affect the process itself? What is the meaning of life? ...K, I'm done.
 

SillySapienne

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basically what I think I mean is not letting the grotesqueries(sp) of the social world wound you emotionally, leading some social settings to be aversive stimulii
Yes, social settings affect me immensely, and I do find some of them to be grotesque, or eerie, or sad to the point of being slit-your-wrist worthy. So yeah, my room is quite the friendly place! :)


:doh: Off topic again, sorry!
 

phoenix13

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Oh, and thanks Jae Rae for answering the question. OK, I'm really done now.
 

nozflubber

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"Bad people are a pain in the ass, and probably piss us off more than most"

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of prolly hehe
 

"?"

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What some may find of interest is that Jung describes Ne and Se as being almost identical in nature:
But since intuition, in the extraverted attitude, has a prevailingly objective orientation, it actually comes very near to sensation; indeed, the expectant attitude towards outer objects may, with almost equal probability, avail itself of sensation. Hence, for intuition really to become paramount, sensation must to a large extent be suppressed. I am now speaking of sensation as the simple and direct sense-reaction, an almost definite physiological and psychic datum. This must be expressly established beforehand, because, if I ask the intuitive how he is [p. 463] orientated, he will speak of things which are quite indistinguishable from sense-perceptions. Frequently he will even make use of the term 'sensation'. He actually has sensations, but he is not guided by them per se, merely using them as directing-points for his distant vision. They are selected by unconscious expectation. Not the strongest sensation, in the physiological sense, obtains the crucial value, but any sensation whatsoever whose value happens to become considerably enhanced by reason of the intuitive's unconscious attitude. In this way it may eventually attain the leading position, appearing to the intuitive's consciousness indistinguishable from a pure sensation. But actually it is not so.
What Jung does describe is Ne's need for seeing the possibilities of a situation, whereas Se needs to see the concrete opportunities. I see this distinction in my ENFP son and ESFP daughter, but both have a tendency toward introversion at times.
 

gabso

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all my life id never really found a social situation that i didnt feel drawn to, however after a loss in my family and a subsequent move overseas, I lost a bit of social confidence/felt a bit lost, and felt for the first time that i wasn't completely comfortable around these new people.

of course, i think i wouldn't say that i was shy.. just not my usual self.

so i think esfps do sometimes feel introverted, especially if they lose confidence, as most of our self worth is generated by those around us rather than internally (i feel anyway).

however, once things smooth out a bit, we're back to our usual habits ;)
 

King sns

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all my life id never really found a social situation that i didnt feel drawn to, however after a loss in my family and a subsequent move overseas, I lost a bit of social confidence/felt a bit lost, and felt for the first time that i wasn't completely comfortable around these new people.

of course, i think i wouldn't say that i was shy.. just not my usual self.

so i think esfps do sometimes feel introverted, especially if they lose confidence, as most of our self worth is generated by those around us rather than internally (i feel anyway).

however, once things smooth out a bit, we're back to our usual habits ;)

Definately. Non-socialness happens sometimes. It is almost always circumstancial, resulting from an even that demeans my confidence. I know this happens to me often enough, but I can't think of any good examples.
 

ColonelGadaafi

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It depends on if the effort is given. Im much more absent-minded when Introverted-feeling is triggered, which is more then often, hence my belief in my introversion. However when in not in clear-minded state to delve into introspection, the dominant function kicks in.
 

Chimerical

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I've known a few INTJ's that lacked confidence in what they had to say.
I've known a great deal of ESFP's that were afraid to be social.
I knew an ENTP that was scared of the concept of being better than someone else.
and various other "contradictions".

One of the ESFP's had lazy eye, and wasn't the most attractive girl I've met. Then the other was a man who'd be pampered and babied his entire life and wasn't too well aware of the social standards that are actually needed. So he was a socially akward ESFP.

both were depressed as all hell, from my perspective at least, because they never got what they wanted most. But the ESFP who was the semi-ugly girl seemed to be a little more developed in her INTJ side than any other ESFP I've met. As much as a person hates to be alone, if you're alone enough you start getting used to it.
 

me_plus_one

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I don't think that anti-social and introverted are synonims; yeah, an ESFP might be antisocial, but that doesn't really imply that they are introverted.

I have personally met none that was not social, but I'm sure there can be...
 

sarah

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Definately. Non-socialness happens sometimes. It is almost always circumstancial, resulting from an even that demeans my confidence. I know this happens to me often enough, but I can't think of any good examples.


I'm curious -- do you feel somewhat antsy when you've been non-social for a while? I'm wondering if ESFPs are the reverse socially of me. After a bout of heavy socializing (like, say, two hours of being at a party), I feel worn out and I NEED to be away from other people, and if I can't get away, I start to panic. I'm wondering if the reverse is true for ESFPs.
 

King sns

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I'm curious -- do you feel somewhat antsy when you've been non-social for a while? I'm wondering if ESFPs are the reverse socially of me. After a bout of heavy socializing (like, say, two hours of being at a party), I feel worn out and I NEED to be away from other people, and if I can't get away, I start to panic. I'm wondering if the reverse is true for ESFPs.

Definately, Sarah. I don't know if the word is "antsy" though. I generally just get very tired and depressed after being alone for a long time. 1 full day alone is too much, I do not remember the last time I spent that long by myself.

On the flipside, I can be around people for a really really long time before wanting to be alone. Here's an extreme but recent example. We had a housewarming that lasted 18 hours from start to finish (noon to 4AM). It didn't bother me at all. Then people slept over and I got up and there was people there waiting to go to breakfast. Still didn't bother me. Or sometimes I'll have a full day at clinical and work, (involving talking to people the whole time), and I'll actually feel energized by the end of the day.

This phenomena is strange to me, you'd think that after resting i'd feel more energized, and after doing things i'd feel more tired.

Well, this fact is what made me decide on my E-ness.
 

quietmusician

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I took a MBTI test recently that was for children. So I took it as my 5 to 8 year old self (I think my INFP traits showed up around the age of 11 and 12) and guess what came out of it...ESxP (they couldn't tell by my answers whether I'm more of a T or F, which I tend to go back and forth anyway). And no I was not surprised by this because I almost always acted on my impulses. I remember being way more outgoing back then than I am now, but I don't think I was overly social. I think I was scorned a lot by other people that could have possible made me become more introverted.

Some ESFP characteristics of me were: always raising my hand, trying to be overly funny around people, needing to be (somewhat) the center of attention, a great verbal storyteller, loved talking in general, and playful jokes and pranks.

Some ESTP characteristics of me were: thrill and risk seeking, highly into competition and often succeeded, respected those who could keep up with me, thought admission of weakness felt like failure, mental, and physical and emotional toughness.
 
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