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[ISFP] Common ISFP Issues

Galena

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Right. Now that I'm fairly certain of my type, I'll do this:

For myself, I notice that I become self conscious when I become intimidated by people. I have trouble viewing myself very positively in front of boisterous, in your face kind of people who like intimidating.
Example: Just a couple of weeks ago I was trying to train this girl to do her job and she just intimidated me, so I started mumbling and saying really stupid stuff that she didn't find humorous at all. She ended up yelling at me in front of everyone, "Stop mumbling! You're pissing me off." I'm pretty sure I wanted to cry right then and there.
Exactly. So much. Part of what's so intimidating about louder and more forceful people like that, though, is that I also kinda really want to be more like them. Boisterous gets results in this world. But not when training for a job! The specific situation you describe was out of line. :(

Heh, I have this issue where I just kind of fade out if people don't like what I'm offering up with my finds. I'm kind of like, "er...never mind. I'll just go over here...".
Same thing. It's almost like a test of compatibility.

I cut and go very easily. It's hard because people trust me so easily and I have to be aware of that so I don't hurt them. That kind of stuff doesn't hurt me though, so the difficulty is for me to see what they're experiencing through their eyes. I don't have much attachment with people because I've moved so much my whole life, so I have a hard time connecting in a long term way.
I have this same problem.

When I was younger, I definitely related to both of these! I was even told that I was selfish when I was a kid. I didn't understand why - I thought I was just being myself. But it stung real badly, and as I grew up I overcompensated for it (keep in mind I was taking a shot in the dark here as I didn't see anything wrong with my behaviour in the first place) by taking EVERYBODY else's views into consideration that a lot of the time I forgot what mine was.
I can't even add anything. This is precisely spot on!

Thoughts on FiNi: A dichotomous test can mistake it for FiNe because oh hey Fi and intuition, but if you look closer, you'll notice a lack of extraverted balance to the functions the person is using. That's where one can get too self-involved. You believe and say things that make sense to only you, with no reference to anything outside. When I'm stuck in FiNi, I will use a lot of big words and weave absolutely labyrinthine personal ideas that are actually relevant to nothing and really difficult to put into words. People don't follow me. I'll also mistake the impact that something has on my Fi values for how much the thing really matters. FiNe is open. FiNi is closed and self-sheltering.
 
W

WALMART

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2 sexy

Pretty much every girl I meet, at this point, I'm praying is ISFP.

Also: will take ISFJ, ESFJ.
 

Sunny Ghost

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Yes I agree.

I also think the only cure for it is Ni development. That way one can learn to see things from a distanced, shifting perspective, and realize that everything isn't an affront to one's own values or ego.

On the other hand, SFPs may very much internalize not only their values, but their experiences as personal, making their personal attachment to their beliefs that much more personal. Like if my Fi values are based on what I've seen and experienced in real life, it's all going to seem a lot more dire and serious to me than someone who is just arm-chair philosophizing in a cozy manner. People may be like, "calm down why is this so serious to you" to which my response is "because it affects real people, not just *ideals* of people."

I really think Ni development is key. But healthy Ni development. Fi/Ni loops just lead to further paranoia that everybody hates you, and may be out to undermine your values/vision.

Honestly, I think Se development is detrimental to pulling a too introverted feeling type out of their self loathing hole.
 

Galena

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Honestly, I think Se development is detrimental to pulling a too introverted feeling type out of their self loathing hole.
How so, and other than that, what do you think would help them?
 

Sunny Ghost

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[MENTION=17945]Webslinger[/MENTION] Fi/Ni looping (too much introversion) can run an ISFP or INTJ into the ground. I feel as though I was stuck in it in the past. If someone is introverting too much, they need to extrovert their self in whatever manner is appropriate to their personality type in order to balance out. So for me, it took delving back into the arts and my impulses. Drawing again, painting again, going outside and sky gazing.

It would be the same if an extrovert were extroverting too much. They'd lose a sense of self without introverting any.
 

PeaceBaby

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I have a very good friend who is isfp ... we understand each other's Fi very well and let it have space to do what it needs to do.

I'm posting because we were chatting on typology and this thread got me thinking about that conversation, so I will share a little bit too see what other isfp's think.

Basically, we got talking about Fi - Si looping vs Fi - Ni looping (although we didn't call it that - she's not as interested in or knowledgeable about typology in general). I told her that I could replay events from my life and feel the emotions from them as real as if they were happening to me, events from decades ago even. Her comment on that was that she did not experience that in any way, but had kind of built-up expectations of how many tears would be shed before one was healed from a past hurt. So, for example a bad break-up to her means a quantity of pain that has to be experienced before one is able to move on. When she cries, she says to herself, "Well of course I'm crying, it takes 6 months of tears before I will feel better able to move forward." And then, when that 'quota' of sorts has been reached, she does not go back there, the emotions are done and she feels pretty much nothing about that pain anymore. Doesn't feel it again.

isfp's - can you relate to that too?
 

Avocado

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I have a very good friend who is isfp ... we understand each other's Fi very well and let it have space to do what it needs to do.

I'm posting because we were chatting on typology and this thread got me thinking about that conversation, so I will share a little bit too see what other isfp's think.

Basically, we got talking about Fi - Si looping vs Fi - Ni looping (although we didn't call it that - she's not as interested in or knowledgeable about typology in general). I told her that I could replay events from my life and feel the emotions from them as real as if they were happening to me, events from decades ago even. Her comment on that was that she did not experience that in any way, but had kind of built-up expectations of how many tears would be shed before one was healed from a past hurt. So, for example a bad break-up to her means a quantity of pain that has to be experienced before one is able to move on. When she cries, she says to herself, "Well of course I'm crying, it takes 6 months of tears before I will feel better able to move forward." And then, when that 'quota' of sorts has been reached, she does not go back there, the emotions are done and she feels pretty much nothing about that pain anymore. Doesn't feel it again.

isfp's - can you relate to that too?

I still do that over my father's death sometimes. That event was 13 years ago…

I still miss him…

:(







It's times like this I need to think of something nice for a bit.



I like your profile picture. It reminds me of my sweet wolf that I owned for a while. I loved her. My mother hated her, though. I bought her with my own money, so she wasn't here's to sell. She sold her from me. I cried and I sometimes still cry.

I need to go to work now.

I feel rotten…
 

Galena

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[MENTION=17945]Webslinger[/MENTION] Fi/Ni looping (too much introversion) can run an ISFP or INTJ into the ground. I feel as though I was stuck in it in the past. If someone is introverting too much, they need to extrovert their self in whatever manner is appropriate to their personality type in order to balance out. So for me, it took delving back into the arts and my impulses. Drawing again, painting again, going outside and sky gazing.

It would be the same if an extrovert were extroverting too much. They'd lose a sense of self without introverting any.
Ah. Yes, I agree, and from experience as well. I thought you meant that developing Se was bad for the feeling introvert because you said "detrimental". :)
 

Galena

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I have a very good friend who is isfp ... we understand each other's Fi very well and let it have space to do what it needs to do.

I'm posting because we were chatting on typology and this thread got me thinking about that conversation, so I will share a little bit too see what other isfp's think.

Basically, we got talking about Fi - Si looping vs Fi - Ni looping (although we didn't call it that - she's not as interested in or knowledgeable about typology in general). I told her that I could replay events from my life and feel the emotions from them as real as if they were happening to me, events from decades ago even. Her comment on that was that she did not experience that in any way, but had kind of built-up expectations of how many tears would be shed before one was healed from a past hurt. So, for example a bad break-up to her means a quantity of pain that has to be experienced before one is able to move on. When she cries, she says to herself, "Well of course I'm crying, it takes 6 months of tears before I will feel better able to move forward." And then, when that 'quota' of sorts has been reached, she does not go back there, the emotions are done and she feels pretty much nothing about that pain anymore. Doesn't feel it again.

isfp's - can you relate to that too?
I relate well to both, which may sound mutually exclusive, but not really. Everything that happens will stick around inside me forever, but in packages that close after a while. After that time, they'll still be there and can be opened up in full sensory detail, but no longer are an everyday source of tears.
 

Sunny Ghost

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Ah. Yes, I agree, and from experience as well. I thought you meant that developing Se was bad for the feeling introvert because you said "detrimental". :)
Yeah, that was very poor wording on my part. :doh: I'm not sure what word I meant to say. Let's replace that with "crucial." :D
 

Pinker85

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Not understanding the obsession with stability and things -- feeling unattached to material things and places. Playing with fire to keep stimulation up. Acting in ways that make no sense to others and being labeled nuts due to this. Needing lots of physical activity.
 

Galena

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Not understanding the obsession with stability and things -- feeling unattached to material things and places. Playing with fire to keep stimulation up. Acting in ways that make no sense to others and being labeled nuts due to this. Needing lots of physical activity.
Being a gambler in every aspect of life. :yes:
 

citizen cane

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Not understanding the obsession with stability and things -- feeling unattached to material things and places. Playing with fire to keep stimulation up. Acting in ways that make no sense to others and being labeled nuts due to this. Needing lots of physical activity.

Being a gambler in every aspect of life. :yes:

I don't really relate to this at all, except that I'm either a complete bum and on my laptop 8 or 10 hours a day sometimes if I'm feeling lazy and don't have stuff to do, or I need to be walking and pacing around.

I very much like certain things and places, and am not at all a gambler in life.
 
S

Stansmith

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I've experienced FiNi looping as a constant dwelling and focus on categories, concepts, archetypes and black-and-white judgments rather than appreciating whats actually going on in objective reality. I would sit in class thinking about how I was missing out on the highschool experience, instead of actually experiencing it. I would read disapproval in others, at one point I felt like I was constantly being stared at. I would look in the mirror obsessively and dwell on how worthless I was if I didn't like what I saw on particular day. I often interpreted it as "fate", or something akin to ego death. I spent a lot of time fantasizing about ideal circumstances vividly, and enjoyed them more than tangible reality.

I was obsessed with (cultural) anthropology, sociology, and history, and viewed the world almost exclusively from that lense. When I would go on vacation to my parents' country at 15-16, I would spend most of time obsessively observing patterns in dialect, regional differences, infrastructure, temperament and phenotype, and fitting all of these subjective observations into my sociological framework. I found it fun/interesting, but most of my peers did not share my interests, and I couldn't connect with them for shit as a result. That obsession has largely been replaced by psychology, myers-Briggs and enneagram. There are times where I can barely get myself to think outside of theory, conceptual frameworks, or my own personal conclusions, and everything I see in the outside world (through Se) only serves to support them. I could delve deeper into some of my self-indulgent obsessions throughout my life, but they get really weird.

Can you relate? [MENTION=17945]Webslinger[/MENTION] and [MENTION=10131]IndyAnnaJoan[/MENTION]
 
B

brainheart

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I could delve deeper into some of my self-indulgent obsessions throughout my life, but they get really weird.

Ooo, I want to hear. I have weird self indulgent obsessions, too.

If you reside so much in Fi-Ni, why do you think you test higher in Ne (than Ni) on cognitive function tests? I'm curious because I always test highest in Fi-Ni, but the Fi-Si loop sounds more like me, being more avoidant than paranoid, and constantly rehashing things from the past and how they made me feel when I'm unhealthy- but that's also kind of a four thing.

Sometimes I do wonder if I have a fi-ni thing going on though because I can jump to conclusions at times when I care about a person and they don't respond right away. I can immediately think, "oh, they hate me," and instantly feel like shit. I think this less now though than I did when I was younger. Now when I find myself slipping into that train of thought I'll think, "Well they're probably just busy, etc" and once I've considered some possible reasons why they wouldn't have responded I feel better. But maybe this is also just a sexual instinct + human thing.
So much of what you say is colored by your social instinct. It's interesting.
 
S

Stansmith

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Ooo, I want to hear. I have weird self indulgent obsessions, too.

If you reside so much in Fi-Ni, why do you think you test higher in Ne (than Ni) on cognitive function tests? I'm curious because I always test highest in Fi-Ni, but the Fi-Si loop sounds more like me, being more avoidant than paranoid, and constantly rehashing things from the past and how they made me feel when I'm unhealthy- but that's also kind of a four thing.

Sometimes I do wonder if I have a fi-ni thing going on though because I can jump to conclusions at times when I care about a person and they don't respond right away. I can immediately think, "oh, they hate me," and instantly feel like shit. I think this less now though than I did when I was younger. Now when I find myself slipping into that train of thought I'll think, "Well they're probably just busy, etc" and once I've considered some possible reasons why they wouldn't have responded I feel better. But maybe this is also just a sexual instinct + human thing.
So much of what you say is colored by your social instinct. It's interesting.

I do tend to see the world in terms of possibilities, but it's more of an abstract, intrinsic feeling than actually thinking about possibilities in my immediate environment. When I do imagine possibilities, they're usually involve images and situations that have nothing to do with what I'm objectively seeing (Ne). I tend to look at the world in wonder and curiousity, and tend to think about and dwell on things that aren't related to whats objectively happening in front of me. I also have a tendency to read into things a lot.

As for what you described, it's still in line with FiSi apparently, since you're noticing something's 'off' with an interaction, and interpret it as negative based on a past experience.
 

Galena

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I've experienced FiNi looping as a constant dwelling and focus on categories, concepts, archetypes and black-and-white judgments rather than appreciating whats actually going on in objective reality. I would sit in class thinking about how I was missing out on the highschool experience, instead of actually experiencing it. I would read disapproval in others, at one point I felt like I was constantly being stared at. I would look in the mirror obsessively and dwell on how worthless I was if I didn't like what I saw on particular day. I often interpreted it as "fate", or something akin to ego death. I spent a lot of time fantasizing about ideal circumstances vividly, and enjoyed them more than tangible reality.
Yes. I experience it as over-interpreting a resonant event based on my reaction to it over the facts of what transpired (skipping over Se?), and if I fail to seek a reality check, imagining this as the beginning of a wicked fate that is hardly connected anymore to what actually happened. All is done guarded in impotent silence, and thank god. Often this ends when I catch myself enjoying the creation of a downfall more than the original trigger was significant. The seriousness drains. I might go, "Huh, this is going so far that it's getting darkly funny." I write down any thought worth keeping.

Idealized fantasies can function as stress relief, although I don't believe in them anymore like I did as a teen. I'll play in these most when on a long walk or getting to sleep at night.

I get the obsessions, too. Maybe I'll spend hours or days researching an idea, seeing it everywhere, forgetting to eat or sleep, when in the end it was all for an over-esoteric personal purpose. Not that there's something wrong with that. ;)

Once I read FiSi described as the past not merely predicting the future, but being the future. Not my functions, but I know exactly what that means. Nobody else can get one out of that. The mind has to choose to open itself back up and allow new possibilities in.
 
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