[ISTP] ISTPS

[Poki]

What's the difference between display and projection?

I dont know how to explain it very good. Projection is more aggresive where as display is more passive. I dont do good internally when I am forced, when I am forced I have struggles I have to internally deal with.

 

[jixmixfix]

Im not one for hot tempered either, I have never really attracted the hot-tempered type. My ex is the hot tempered type, but thats not the type I normally attract around me, nor is that the type I am drawn to. I attract the damsel in distress...not completely helpless, just people that appreciate the help.

Hmm that actually makes sense for me too.

 

[A window to the soul]

I dont know how to explain it very good. Projection is more aggresive where as display is more passive. I dont do good internally when I am forced, when I am forced I have struggles I have to internally deal with.

In other words, you prefer it when a girl shows signs of distress like, "I don't know how to do xyz!" Instead of directly asking, "HELP!!!" or "Will you help me please??"

Correct?

 

[KDude]

Im not one for hot tempered either, I have never really attracted the hot-tempered type. My ex is the hot tempered type, but thats not the type I normally attract around me, nor is that the type I am drawn to. I attract the damsel in distress...not completely helpless, just people that appreciate the help.

I guess I like more independence. Everytime I've met a damsel in distress, she turned out to be someone who brought it on herself. Like they seemed to enjoy their suffering or something. They'd complain, but yet.. didn't really want help.

Maybe that doesn't describe all of them.

 

[Poki]

In other words, you prefer it when a girl shows signs of distress like, "I don't know how to do xyz!" Instead of directly asking, "HELP!!!" or "Will you help me please??"

Correct?

Niether of those bother me and to me is not aggressive. Its more along the lines of anger or forceful...like "do this" with an attitude.

 

[KDude]

If you're just talking about simple help, I guess I could either way depending on the time of day.

When you say damsel in distress though, I immediately imagine some bartender with a shitty abusive boyfriend in amateur MMA, slapping her around at nights. I've come to the conclusion that these damsels like it.

 

[Poki]

In other words, you prefer it when a girl shows signs of distress like, "I don't know how to do xyz!" Instead of directly asking, "HELP!!!" or "Will you help me please??"

Correct?

To me damsel in distress is when a woman honestly puts forth effort but struggles or it doesnt come out just right. To me there is something sexy when a woman does that. That imperfection. When a woman gets frustrated and turns it into a demand, that sexy is lost. Some people like that demand...I dont. I dont want to be owned and thats how demands come across. I prefer a different kind of "being owned"

 

[redhotchips]

My ISTP would never dream of helping fix people problems. It isnt that he doesnt care, but I dont think he knows what to do and so would just rather withdraw and avoid it.

He does fix all types of things for me, even though we are now divorced. He put in new light fixtures, fixed stuff in my car, and changed out some electrical stuff in the walls. I think this is how he shows he cares.

I do suspect that ISTPs may often end up in relationships with FPs, who can look sort of FJish at times as we can be pretty sweet. However when unhappy or depressed, we display a LOT of emo, which I suspect most ISTPs would have a very difficult time navigating. Thus it would not surpise me to find out that an ISTP ended up with an FP, who, from the ISTP perspective, had emo issues. I have seen this same problem with INTPs too, in relationships with FPs. So maybe it isnt that ISTP seek emotionally distrubed people-but it seems natural at first, then they get surprised once in the relationship as each side becomes more open and sharing. Sad Fi is BAD. I dunno, maybe that is part of what you see..

Was it your cumulative emo-ness what finally caused your ISTP to depart even though he still cared about you?

I've split from an ISTP and still trying to learn from the experience.

 

[wolfy]

I don't like people problems. Too long, too complex and too easy to get sucked in to. I like problems more easy to work on. People tend to move around while you are trying to work on them. Analogically.

 

[Giggly]

I dont create something to fix, I just look for things that could be improved. I wont purposely break something to fix it.

I was mostly referring to 2 ISTPs I know who seem to find problems with things I don't think anything is wrong with. This doesn't bother me but I never quite fully understand where they're coming from.

Other ISTPs I know are completely opposite and you couldn't make them think about things like that if you paid them. Their minds are some place else.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

To me damsel in distress is when a woman honestly puts forth effort but struggles or it doesnt come out just right. To me there is something sexy when a woman does that. That imperfection.

Forget type. Men love this stuff. I'm a woman and I'm curious as to how other women see this. I see this kind of behavior in two ways. The way you described Poki. An honest need of assistance.
The other is used as a manipulative tool to boost the guys ego and then the woman goes in to get what she wants. Playing helpless/unknowledgeable but really isn't. I know at least one or two females who do this and the guys eat out of their hands. How do you guys know the difference?

 

[Giggly]

Forget type. Men love this stuff. I'm a woman and I'm curious as to how other women see this. I see this kind of behavior in two ways. The way you described Poki. An honest need of assistance.
The other is used as a manipulative tool to boost the guys ego and then the woman goes in to get what she wants. Playing helpless/unknowledgeable but really isn't. I know at least one or two females who do this and the guys eat out of their hands. How do you guys know the difference?

I think men and women need each other so this is natural. I know everyone just hates that word "need" but that's how I feel. It seems true to me, even though I think we all are capable of doing just fine on our own.

 

[jixmixfix]

Forget type. Men love this stuff. I'm a woman and I'm curious as to how other women see this. I see this kind of behavior in two ways. The way you described Poki. An honest need of assistance.
The other is used as a manipulative tool to boost the guys ego and then the woman goes in to get what she wants. Playing helpless/unknowledgeable but really isn't. I know at least one or two females who do this and the guys eat out of their hands. How do you guys know the difference?

Are these woman doing this to people they just meet or with their long term relationships?

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

Are these woman doing this to people they just meet or with their long term relationships?

It's more with men who they just meet or are casual acquaintances with. They may become good friends with the promise of more but never become LTR.

 

[Poki]

Forget type. Men love this stuff. I'm a woman and I'm curious as to how other women see this. I see this kind of behavior in two ways. The way you described Poki. An honest need of assistance.
The other is used as a manipulative tool to boost the guys ego and then the woman goes in to get what she wants. Playing helpless/unknowledgeable but really isn't. I know at least one or two females who do this and the guys eat out of their hands. How do you guys know the difference?

Time and observation, I dont get hung up solely on the ego boost. I do this alot also and I know I can do whatever I put my mind to so the ego boost thing doesnt affect me to much. Plus signs of fakeness turns me off so if it comes across as fake it affects me the same as someone who is being fake, this is hard to avoid.

edit: I know my p[ercieved weaknesses and strengths so I use that as one way to try to figure out. I dont hide from or defend my weaknesses from myself. Everyone is different so I dont automatically assume someone is lieing.

 

[KDude]

I think men and women need each other so this is natural. I know everyone just hates that word "need" but that's how I feel. It seems true to me, even though I think we all are capable of doing just fine on our own.

haha, this probably sounds "sad", but i'm happy: i don't need anyone. ATM at least. it almost surprises even me how much i'm able to be single. I can think of more benefits in having my own time and interests.

Forget type. Men love this stuff.

I don't know. I have proven to myself I can fail at this or something. I kind of feel bad about some shit actually. I remember a long while back, me and some friends were stranded, and had to walk a long way home. We came upon a big field for a shortcut.. and one of the girls with me was wearing shorts. She complained about not wanting to walk in tall grass. She wanted me to pick her up the whole way. Why it fell on me, I don't know. I was one of the bigger guys there, and she liked me. I kind of laughed about it. Screw that. That's a long haul. After we got through the field though, she was tearing up and crying.. and I still thought she was being dramatic. Turns out, she got all kinds of rashes on her legs. Then I helped her, because she couldn't walk. She was allergic to something. When we finally got to the house we were going to, she had to sit in the tub, and she was still crying. Everyone thought I was an asshole for it. And I was, I guess. Pain makes sense to me. I don't want that. I'm just saying though. My first instinct was to not "rescue" her.

 

[Giggly]

haha, this probably sounds "sad", but i'm happy: i don't need anyone. ATM at least. it almost surprises even me how much i'm able to be single. I can think of more benefits in having my own time and interests.

I'm aware.

 

[KDude]

I'm aware.

You mean aware of it for your self, or aware of it of me? lol.. I mean, I am kind of repeating myself in this thread. *backs away*

 

[Giggly]

You mean aware of it for your self, or aware of it of me? lol.. I mean, I am kind of repeating myself in this thread. *backs away*

lol I meant I was aware of what you said.

 

[Poki]

haha, this probably sounds "sad", but i'm happy: i don't need anyone. ATM at least. it almost surprises even me how much i'm able to be single. I can think of more benefits in having my own time and interests.

For me I dont need anyone to do housework, or anything like that. Intimacy, passion, sex, desire, etc are the things I need from someone else. Everything else I can handle on my own. Those are on the top of my list...once those are met we can work on the rest. I will work on the same...whats on the top of the other persons list. The person I end up with hopefully will be able to handle the top things with no problems and its the other stuff that we work on. I am by far a minimalist.